by Ginny Dye
“Are you planning on staying here all day? You promised your father you would have dinner with him tonight.”
Carrie glanced quickly at her watch. “I completely lost track of time!” In just moments she had gathered her things, called a good-bye to her patients, and followed her friend out the door. A quick look at the sky confirmed her earlier suspicions. The sky, now a deeper yellow, was outlined with boiling black clouds. The heavy air was still stagnant, but if the clouds were any indication, a strong wind would be assaulting the city soon.
“I think we have time to get home, but it looks like it’s going to be a bad one.” Janie spoke quickly as she strode down the hill.
Carrie matched her stride. She missed the plantation and all her father’s slaves who had become dear friends, but she was glad to be in Richmond with Janie. They had exchanged letters on a daily basis since that fateful day when Carrie had assisted in saving Janie from a drunken soldier. Next to Rose, her best friend since childhood, Janie was her closest friend. “How did your day go?”
Janie shrugged. “It was fine.” She hesitated. “If watching mere boys learn how to live their lives without arms and legs can ever be fine.” Her voice sharpened. “We lost three today in our ward. Their bodies just couldn’t fight anymore...” Her voice trailed off, and her eyes filled with tears. “I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it.”
“I pray to God you don’t!” Carrie exclaimed, her eyes welling with moisture. “I hope we never become immune to the death and suffering around us. The only way for that to happen is for part of us to die. I’d rather deal with the pain than become hardened.”
Janie nodded then changed the subject, obviously wanting to tread on lighter ground. “Matron Pember got a letter from her sister today.”
Carrie looked up at the sound of amusement in her voice. “The one in New Orleans?”
“Yes. It seems the ladies of New Orleans are not taking kindly to Union occupation.”
“What do you mean?”
Janie made no effort to hide the laughter in her voice. “Matron Pember’s sister evidently has the same strong personality she does. Her letter said she was arrested on the charge of laughing as the remains of a Federal officer were borne past her residence. She claims she was having a party at the time and the laughter was the result of something a child had done. General Butler...”
“Who is certainly not a popular figure around there!”
“Exactly. General Butler didn’t believe her and demanded she apologize.”
“Which, of course, she didn’t.”
“Of course not. When she refused to apologize, General Butler called her a ‘vulgar woman of the town’ and banished her to Ship Island.”
“That tiny barren island of sand in the Gulf of Mexico?” Carrie exclaimed.
Janie nodded. “She wrote Matron Pember that her response to the general’s banishment was to tell him, ‘It has one advantage over the city, sir; you will not be there!”
Carrie laughed along with her friend. “You’re right. She’s definitely the matron’s sister.” Then she sobered. “I feel so badly for her, though. What a terrible thing to be stuck out on that island.” Her sympathy was compounded by the genuine affection she had developed for the no-nonsense, outspoken Matron Pember. The matron had overheard the doctor’s comments that had so infuriated Carrie. She had waited for her in the hallway and told her not to be bothered by the doctor, that soon the South would be begging for women with medical ability. Her exact words still rang in Carrie’s mind.
“The South is sending off all its men. The time will come soon enough when it will be the women who will save the day. Things will never be the same after that!”
Janie nodded but was still smiling. “Matron Pember says the Union will probably send her back. She is sure her sister will give them no rest.”
Carrie laughed. “From what I can tell, there are a lot of women in New Orleans like her.”
“The matron’s letter told more about that. The women there are spitting on the soldiers, regaling them with derogatory remarks and gestures. Why, one lady even dumped the contents of her chamber pot on General Butler’s head as he was passing under her balcony.” Janie’s laugh rang out.
Carrie spun and regarded her with flashing eyes. “Janie Winthrop! You can’t possibly think that is respectable behavior. Those soldiers are just doing their job!”
Janie shrugged. “Maybe. But I have a feeling I will feel the same way if those Union soldiers out there take over Richmond. How are you going to like having to bow to their every whim if they take the city?” She turned to glare at Carrie.
Carrie thought about it for a minute. “Pouring a chamber pot on his head. Ugh!” The sound of her disgusted voice as she pictured it sent Janie off into peals of laughter again. Soon both of them were doubled over with mirth. In the midst of war, it was difficult to find a reason to laugh. They took what you could get.
An ominous rumble of thunder and a distant flash of lightning got them moving back down the hill. There was quiet between them for several minutes.
“Are you scared, Carrie?” There was no amusement in Janie’s voice now. Her normally bright, blue eyes were dark with worry, her attractive face pinched with fear. “Oh, I suppose I’m being silly,” she suddenly exclaimed without waiting for Carrie’s answer. “I guess this storm is just getting to me.
Carrie looked at her quickly. The glib response on her tongue died at the expression on Janie’s face. “Yes,” she said slowly, “I suppose I am scared.” They had not talked much about the thousands of Union soldiers outside the gates of Richmond. The Union cry of “On to Richmond” had become a frightening reality. Carrie hated the war and wanted it to end, but the idea of being in a captured city was not appealing. While the people in the outlying areas of Richmond had fled to the city for safety, many residents had fled to escape possible Union occupation.
The whole city had been in a panic when she had reached the safety of Richmond after fleeing the plantation, but the panic had now settled into a calm defiance. She had heard some people describe it as apathy, but as far as she could tell, there was no apathy on the part of Richmonders – they simply realized they could not stop what would happen. They could only deal with it and fight as hard as they could. Until then, all they could do was wait. They would not give up their city without a mighty resistance.
“What if our boys lose, Carrie? Will the Union destroy Richmond? I know how many Northerners are calling for it.”
Carrie listened to her in dismay. Should she tell her what her father had told her just last night? It would only frighten her more. On the other hand, Carrie had decided it was better to know the truth. “I talked to my father about that last night,” she finally admitted.
“What did he say? Surely he knows what they plan to do since he works with the government.”
Carrie spoke slowly, remembering the pain on her father’s face as he talked. “The military authorities have decided to make sure the Union doesn’t get its hands on the valuable supplies here in the city.” She hesitated. “All the tobacco and cotton are to be burned if the Union enters the city.”
“But the warehouses are right in the heart of the city! What if it spreads? It could destroy the whole city!”
Carrie knew Janie was fighting to keep panic from overwhelming her. “They know that. And the very idea of it scares them to death. But they feel it is the only thing to do.” Then she made her voice positive. “But all of that is only if the Union captures Richmond. That is still a long way off. Our army is strong and about to get stronger.”
“Jackson is coming back from the Shenandoah Valley?”
“My father says he is on his way back. He did the job he was sent to do wonderfully. President Lincoln was so certain Jackson was heading to attack Washington that he called off the reinforcements he was sending to McClellan. General McDowell was called back to guard their own capital. Father says it makes the odds a little more even.”
>
Janie shuddered. “There is going to be so much suffering when the fighting finally starts. We already have so many patients from the Battle of Williamsburg. What’s it going to be like?”
Carrie said nothing. She had a good idea what it would be like. It was too horrible to contemplate.
After a long minute, Janie looked at her again. “Do you want Richmond to fall? Neither one of us believes this crazy war should be happening.”
Carrie almost smiled. Janie was so much like Rose. She always managed to cut through to the crux of the matter. Suddenly she wanted to cry. Where was Rose? How was she? Carrie knew her friend had reached the safety of Philadelphia after she had helped Rose and Moses, her husband, escape slavery, but were they still okay? Fear clutched her heart. Lately she found that her emotions could swing from one to another in seconds. She supposed it was just this crazy war – but it was exhausting. Suddenly she remembered Janie’s question. A quick glance at her friend told her she was patiently waiting for a reply.
“Do I want Richmond to fall?” She shook her head helplessly. “I want this crazy war to end, but I hate the idea it might take the destruction of the city to make it happen. I’ve lost one home. I don’t want to lose another. And I know it would kill my father. Working for the Virginia government saved him after my mother died. He has thrown all he is into building a new country. I can’t wish more pain for him! And what about Robert? The man I love will be out there fighting. If the city falls, it will mean even more Southern deaths during this battle. But maybe it would stop the escalation of the war – if it’s not too late for that…” She shook her head again as the confusion swelled in her voice. “Yet, I can’t wish for the South to win. It would only mean the continuation of slavery. I can’t abide the idea that more helpless people will have to suffer and be denied their freedom.” Her words tumbled to a halt as her eyes filled with tears. “I just know I hate this whole stupid war!” she cried.
Janie reached out and held her hand for a long moment. Nothing more was said on the way down the hill.
Carrie had just changed into a fresh dress when she heard a knock at the front door. She wasn’t expecting anyone, so she continued to smooth her hair back into place. There were so many people living in the house now it could be for anyone. For a moment she gazed into the mirror and wished she was back on the plantation and could leave her hair in a long braid without having to confine it to a bun. Wild and free, she would race across the rolling fields on Granite and let the wind whip it. Closing her eyes, she could almost imagine the feeling.
“Miss Cromwell.”
The sound of her name startled Carrie back to the present. Quickly she finished her hair and moved to the door of the room she now shared with Janie. “What is it, Micah?” She smiled at her father’s butler.
“Lieutenant Borden be here for you, Miss.”
“Robert is here?” Carrie exclaimed. Swiftly she ran down the stairs to the front foyer, a wide smile on her face. “Robert!” she exclaimed. “It’s wonderful to see you. I wasn’t expecting you.” She took his arm to lead him into the parlor.
Robert shook his head. “I don’t want to be inside. Can we go out on the porch?”
Carrie frowned at the serious tone in his voice. A closer look revealed tension on his handsome face. “Of course,” she agreed quickly.
Once outside, Robert moved slightly away from her to stand against a column on the porch. Carrie gazed at him for a moment. The promised wind had already begun to stir the city and was tossing Robert’s wavy dark hair. Outlined against the threatening pallor of the sky, he looked like a mighty warrior in his Confederate gray uniform. “You’re leaving,” she said simply.
Robert continued to just look at her. Carrie knew he was trying to burn a vision of her in his heart. He had told her how much the memories of her had helped during the long winter campaign. She fought the urge to run into his arms.
Finally Robert nodded. “General Lee is sure something is going to happen soon. He has promised to send General Johnson every available man.”
“When do you leave?”
“In a few minutes.”
Carrie fought to control the fear on her face. As hard as she tried, though, she couldn’t hide the tremor in her voice. “I see.” She didn’t know what else to say. Thankfully, Robert saved her by opening his arms wide. Without a word she walked into his embrace.
Several long minutes passed as they stood in silence. The streets around them bustled with activity as people rushed home to escape the encroaching storm. Doors banged open as women dashed out to save their laundry hanging on the lines. The trees, just a few minutes ago swaying in the breeze, were now bending low under the storm’s powerful gusts. The roll of thunder grew louder as flashes of lightening lit up the sky with increasing intensity.
Carrie longed for the moment to never end. If only wishing hard enough could make all the horrid realities of the war melt away. If only wishing could transport them back to her secret place by the river. It had been only two weeks since Robert and she had moved beyond all the turmoil of their relationship. The issue of slavery was still a bone of contention between them, but Carrie was no longer pretending her whole heart did not belong to him. What if these two short weeks were all they were to have?
Robert was the first to step back. “I have to go, Carrie.” All of his longing and pain were expressed in those simple words.
Carrie gazed up at him, trying to etch his face into her memory. She fought to stop the tears welling in her eyes and managed a tremulous smile. “I love you, Robert. Take care of yourself.”
Robert looked at her hungrily a moment more then moaning slightly, he bent his head and covered her mouth in a warm kiss. Carrie let her response speak all the words hidden in her heart. Both knew they might never see each other again. A loud crack of thunder startled them both, and they drew apart. Robert raised his hand to let it rest on her face then stepped back.
“God bless you,” Carrie said tenderly.
Robert nodded, turned, strode down the stairs, and vaulted onto the tall Thoroughbred waiting for him.
Carrie ran down the steps after him and laid her head against the horse’s face. “Take good care of him, Granite. You better come back to me, too,” she whispered. She had given Granite to Robert just days after arriving in Richmond. He needed a good mount, and there was not enough food in Richmond to take care of any non-working horses. She was glad for Robert to have him, but it ripped her heart to think something might happen to her beloved horse as well as to the man she loved. Stepping back, she smiled brightly at both of them. “Go save my city, Lieutenant Borden!”
Robert smiled back, tipped his hat at her, and urged Granite into a fast canter down the road. Carrie watched until they had rounded the curve and were out of sight. Even when she could no longer see them, she stood there, oblivious to the whipping dirt stinging her face and arms. It was the sharp crack of a limb that brought her back to the present. Looking up, she watched as limbs and leaves did a frantic dance in rebellion against the gale battering them.
“Carrie! Get in this house.”
Carrie turned and managed a smile at Janie. “I rather like it,” she shouted above the din. “When I see a storm like this, it helps to remind me it takes a very powerful God to create such a thing. It gives me hope that maybe He really is in control of all this.”
Janie strode down the stairs and took her arm. “And it would give me hope that you still have some sense in your head if you wouldn’t keep standing out here waiting for a limb to knock you silly!” she retorted.
Carrie allowed her to pull her onto the porch and then turned to stare back out at the building fury.
“Was that Robert I saw leaving?”
Carrie nodded. “He has been called to the front.”
“I’m sorry,” Janie said simply. She took Carrie’s hand and stood silently.
Carrie was grateful she said no more. There was nothing to be said, anyway. This same scene was
being played thousands of times daily in every town in the country. There were no words to ease the pain or to take away the questioning and worry in each heart as loved ones left for the battlefield. It was simply to be endured.
Finally she spoke. “There seems to be nothing but questions about the people that I love.” For just a moment, it seemed as if it would overwhelm her. The pictures swirled through her mind, fighting for first position. Moses, who had helped save her from the Union soldiers on the plantation, was himself a Union spy. Where was he? And what would happen to him if caught by the Confederates? And what about Rose? The last Carrie knew she was safe in Philadelphia, but what if slave hunters were still pursuing her? What if Ike Adams went after her again?
Pictures of Aunt Abby swirled into the collage. Her special friend, who was so much like a second mother to her, now lived in the foreign country of the North. There had been no communication, save one smuggled letter through the Underground Railroad, for over a year. And Matthew - Robert’s close friend from the North who had recently been released from a prison in Richmond. Would his job as a newspaper war correspondent once again put him in danger?
Overlaying the collage of swirling pictures was the image of a tall, handsome lieutenant mounted on a towering, gray Thoroughbred.
A deafening crack of lightning ripped through the darkening sky. The sound of an explosion and a flash of light told Carrie a tree had attracted more than its share of the storm’s fury. As she stared out, the first huge raindrops fell. Within seconds, the drops had turned into a pounding deluge that made all talk impossible. Stepping farther back into the shelter of the porch, Carrie allowed the fury of the storm to carry some of her feelings of helplessness and powerlessness away with it. She had always found strength in storms. This one was no different.
Tomorrow would come. There was nothing she could do to stop it. All she could do was wait to see what the new day would bring.
Carrie tried to look like she was listening as she forced herself to eat the supper May had fixed for the household. Overcrowding in the city had filled every house to capacity. Until a month ago, her father had lived by himself with his two house servants. Now the household totaled twelve. She and Janie shared a room upstairs. The other seven were men employed by the government. All of them were pleasant enough, but Carrie had been busy at the hospital and had had little time to become acquainted with them.
