by Ginny Dye
Mary gave her a fierce hug. “We’ll be back to see that baby in six weeks. You take good care of yourself.”
Rose hugged her back, blinking away the sudden tears in her eyes. She knew Mary might not return. At the beginning she had worried about Carter, afraid her frail, gentle friend couldn’t stand the rigors of the camp. It had been Mary, strong and confident, who had crumbled beneath the demands. Rose had watched her friend develop deeper and deeper shadows under her eyes. Mary had grasped at spring with a pathetic eagerness, but it had done little to dispel the shadows.
Rose reached for Mary’s hands and knew she might never have another chance to share with her friend what she was thinking. “My mama used to tell me something,” she said softly. “She used to tell me that some people stagger under the burden of failure because they were never supposed to be doing what they were doing anyway. She said some people try to do things God never gifted them for in the first place. Then they feel like miserable failures because they don’t succeed.” Rose gazed deeply into Mary’s eyes. “My mama didn’t believe anyone was a failure. She figured those folks just needed to find out what they’re supposed to be doing. Once they find that out they’ll have all the abilities and gifts they need to perform it.” She paused again. “Mary, you’re a very special person. If you decide not to come back, don’t feel bad. It only means there is something else you’re supposed to be doing.”
Great tears ran down Mary’s cheeks when Rose finished. “Thank you,” she gulped. “I thought I could help most by being a teacher.”
“You can help most by doing exactly what you’re gifted to do,” Rose said firmly. “If it’s not teaching, you’ll figure out what it is.”
Mary squeezed Rose’s hands again then looked toward the boat when the whistle blew shrilly. “I guess we’d better be going.”
The three friends exchanged fierce hugs again; then Rose stepped back and watched them board the towering ship. She waved until they were out of sight then turned to move slowly back up the docks. Her baby gave a hard kick. Rose smiled joyously. “I sure am glad you waited till spring,” she murmured, “but I must admit I’m rather anxious to meet you.” She laughed when an even harder kick came, in seeming response to her words.
Robert strode out of the house and took deep breaths of the warm spring air. Tossing back his head, he welcomed the rays of the bright sun on his face. The snow was almost completely melted, daffodils and crocuses pushing through the earth. Trees sported a soft green hue as new leaves finally dared to come out from their winter hiding. Birds trilled their songs loudly. Just as Robert reached the barn, a doe and her fawn burst from the woods, looked at him in alarm, and then turned to dash back into cover, their white tails stiff with fear.
Robert laughed loudly. Granite heard him and greeted him with a ringing neigh. “Coming, boy,” Robert called. Minutes later, he led Granite from the barn and swung into the saddle. It took much more effort than before his injuries, but he accomplished it fairly gracefully. His objective today was to ride for two hours. He had been riding for three weeks now. The first time out his legs had only supported him for five minutes. He had worked at it hard every day. He could feel strength returning to his body, buoyed by the explosion of spring.
“Bye, Robert!”
Robert turned to wave at Amber. “I’ll be back soon.” He stopped Granite when Amber suddenly raced from the cabin. Granite pranced impatiently until Amber was close. Then he calmed and lowered his massive head to allow Amber to stroke it.
“I got a surprise for you when you get back,” Amber said with a grin.
“What kind of surprise?”
“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you,” she retorted then turned and raced for the cabin.
Robert laughed and turned Granite toward the trail leading away from the cabin. Granite tossed his head joyfully and pranced down the trail. As they did almost constantly now, Robert’s thoughts turned to Carrie. He was almost strong enough to try to make it home. With spring would come the preparation for more military maneuvers. He had no idea where the Army of the Potomac was now, but he was sure its eventual target would once more be Richmond. If he didn’t leave soon, the risk would be even greater that Northern troops would block him from the city. Old fears of capture gripped him, but resolutely he thrust them aside. If he started thinking about everything that could happen, he would never do anything. There was only one way to get back to Carrie. He would ride Granite through the lines.
Amber was waiting for Robert when he rode back up to the barn. “You ready for your surprise, Robert?”
“Would it be all right if I got something to eat first?” he asked, smiling. “My ride made me very hungry.”
Amber reached down behind a log and pulled up a wooden bucket. “Mama fixed us lunch. I helped her,” she said proudly.
“In that case - lead the way. I will follow you wherever you want to go.”
“I’m taking you to a very special place,” Amber said mysteriously. “Ain’t nobody knows about it except me.”
Robert’s mind flashed back to the time Amber had promised to take him to her secret place when he was walking again. The little girl was keeping her promise. “I can hardly wait,” he replied earnestly, hiding a smile when Amber’s pretty face beamed up at him.
They were only a couple hundred yards from the barn when Amber seemed to sag beneath the weight of the lunch bucket. Robert reached down and took it from her hand. “I understand the one who is being taken to the special place is supposed to carry the meal,” he said seriously.
Amber’s expression was equally somber. “I didn’t know that. Thank you for telling me.” Then she put her finger to her lips. “We need to be quiet the rest of the way.”
Robert’s heart swelled with love for the little girl as they glided down a trail then pushed their way through thick overgrowth. She led the way confidently, a smile of secret importance plastered on her face.
“We’re here,” she finally whispered.
Robert gazed around him, charmed by the beauty of the small clearing they had broken out into. A bubbling creek rushed over a myriad of shiny boulders and sang a melody of spring as it cavorted along. The soft green moss of the forest floor was dotted with vivid red, yellow, and blue wild flowers. A squirrel fussed at them from a nearby tree then dashed to the highest branch to chatter his discontent.
Amber laughed merrily. “Mr. Squirrel must not like you being here. He’ll get used to it, though. He never fusses at me anymore.”
Robert sank down on the moss. “This is very beautiful,” he said sincerely. “I understand why it is so special to you.”
“It is right pretty,” Amber agreed. “But that ain’t why it’s so special to me,” she stated matter-of-factly.”
Robert waited for her to explain.
“I found this place one day when I got lost in the woods. I was awful scared and lonely. I wasn’t sure I would ever see home again. I was crying real hard. My mama said I was probably so scared I wadn’t thinking straight. Anyway, that little creek talked to me until I felt better. Then I just followed it until I came out to a place I knew.” She paused. “I can think better when the creek talks to me. That’s why I come here.”
Robert was bemused. What on earth did a six year old have to think about that was so serious?
Amber seemed to read his mind. “I gots me lots to think about. I thought about you a lot when you first come. I knew Clint didn’t like you so much. He told me not to have anything to do with you. I came out here to think one day. The creek told me I should give you a chance. I guess the creek was right ‘cause I sure love you a lot.”
Robert opened his mouth to speak, but she continued on.
“I think about some of the people who have stayed with us. One was a little girl my age. Her name was April. She was real scared the whole time she was here. She was sure them bad slave hunters were gonna catch her and her mama and daddy and beat them like they used to get beat. They finally go
t away, but I’ve always wondered what happened to her.”
“You care about people a lot,” Robert said softly.
Amber seemed to ponder his words then nodded. “Clint used to tell me people was bad. That they was out to hurt me. I used to believe him. Now I don’t.”
“Why not?” Robert was amazed at the little girl’s innocent wisdom.
“Well, he told me that about you, didn’t he? And wadn’t he wrong?” she asked. “I reckon he could be wrong about a lot of people. I figure I need to get to know folks for myself. Then I can decide what they really like. I don’t reckon I need him to decide that.” She paused then stared up into Robert’s eyes. “You know what I mean?”
Robert smiled down into her sparkling brown eyes. “I know exactly what you mean,” he agreed. He was searching for something else to say when she spun around and reached for the bucket.
“I’m hungry! How about you?”
Robert licked his lips.
Amber laughed and reached down into the bucket. “Mama sent us a bunch of fried chicken and biscuits. I think she slipped some sweet potatoes from last year in here. She even sent us some cold milk,” she said triumphantly, holding the jar high.
Robert heard his stomach growl in response. He leaned back against a rock and let the magic of the creek speak to him as he devoured every crumb of the food she put in front of him.
Clint was coming back from a ride on Granite when Robert and Amber arrived back at the cabin. Clint’s eyes were shining brightly, his face split with a huge grin. “Boy, is he fast!”
“Fastest horse I’ve ever been on,” Robert agreed. “Have any trouble handling him?”
“He does everything I ask,” Clint exclaimed. “I hope I can own a horse like him some day.”
“You keep working. You have a natural touch with horses. No reason why you can’t.” Robert meant every word he said. The reality of that still amazed him sometimes. It no longer mattered that Clint was black. He was talented and intelligent. That’s what was important. He had helped Robert tremendously by getting Granite back in shape for the long ride south. Granite’s muscles, grown soft by a long winter of inactivity, were once again strong and powerful.
“You a rich man, ain’t you, Robert?” Clint asked suddenly.
“Where in the world did that come from?” Robert asked, startled.
“I know I said I’d never want to work for you, but I’s kinda changing my mind. I know you a whole heap different than you used to be,” Clint responded. “I bet you got lots of good horses, don’t you? Ain’t you gonna need someone to work with them?” He paused. “And I figure Granite will be there since he belongs to your girl,” he finished triumphantly.
“Got it all figured out, don’t you?” Robert laughed. He sobered quickly as he studied the serious look on Clint’s face. The boy had done a lot of thinking about this. “Clint, I would love for you to work with my horses. You have a natural touch. But I simply can’t make you any promises. Except for one. If I have anything left for you to work with and if I have any money to pay you, I would be honored to have you work for me.”
“But you rich, ain’t you?” Clint insisted.
Robert hesitated. “I suppose by many people’s standards I was rich before this war started. I just don’t know what it’s going to be like when the war is finally over. For all I know, my home has already been destroyed. Inflation is destroying the value of Confederate money. If we lose the war, it’s going to hold no value whatsoever. I could already be a poor man.”
Clint’s face clouded with disappointment for several moments then cleared. “You let me know where you are after the war, Robert. I figure I can help you rebuild. I just want to work with horses. I don’t know nobody else to work with.”
“You got a deal, Clint.”
Polly appeared at the door of the cabin. “Dinner will be ready soon.”
Dinner was over when Polly turned to Robert. “What you got on your mind, boy? You been thinking hard enough to make me tired all the time we been eatin’.”
Robert hesitated, trying to figure out how to say what he needed to say.
“You leavin’, ain’t you?” Polly asked bluntly.
“It’s time for me to move on,” Robert acknowledged quietly.
Clint and Amber stopped their game of checkers. Gabe looked up from the magazine he was reading. Not a word was said. They just stared at him. A long silence fell on the tiny cabin.
Amber was the first to break it. “You leavin’ us, Robert?” Tears shone in her eyes.
Robert held out his arms, and she ran to climb into his lap. “I can’t stay here forever,” Robert said gently. “I have to go home.”
“But I’m going to miss you!” Amber cried. “Why can’t this be your home?”
“I’m going to miss you, too.” Robert had known breaking the news would be hard. He hadn’t been prepared, however, for the ache in his own heart. He had grown to genuinely love this family. If it hadn’t been for Carrie, it would have been easy to stay here and let other men fight the battles he had learned to despise so much. Not only was he sick of the war - he could no longer find the heart to fight for the preservation of slavery. He knew the war was about more than that, but slavery had become the sticking point.
“You reckon you can make it?” Gabe asked, his deep voice revealing his skepticism.
“I’m much stronger,” Robert replied. “If I don’t go now, I’m afraid I won’t be able to get through. Both armies will begin to move now that spring is here. It may already be impossible for me to get through the lines, but I have to try,” he said firmly.
“Of course, you do,” Polly agreed.
“But, Mama!” Amber cried.
“But, Mama, nothing,” Polly said sternly. “We knew when Robert got here that he wadn’t gonna stay after he got well. Now we know about his home. We know about Carrie. He done got a whole life down South.” Her voice caught as tears glimmered in her eyes. “We gonna miss you, Robert, but I figure we’ll see you again.”
Robert nodded. “Soon as this war is over, I’m going to bring Carrie up to meet the people who saved my life.”
Amber snuggled close to him but didn’t say anything else.
“When are you leaving?” Clint asked gruffly.
Robert knew the longer he stayed the more risk he would run of being caught by the Yankees. “I figured I would leave in the morning.”
Clint stared at him for a long moment. “I reckon I’ll go tell Granite good-bye,” he said heavily. Heaving himself up from the floor, he disappeared out the door.
Robert was stuffed with a hearty breakfast when Clint led Granite to the front of the cabin.
“I reckon it’s that time,” Polly said quietly.
Robert tied his blanket and several bags of food to the saddle almost mechanically. One part of his heart was beating with excitement that he was on his way home. The other part was breaking to leave behind these people he had learned to love. Finally he turned to gaze at them.
Gabe’s massive form was outlined in the door of the cabin. Polly was tucked under one of his strong arms, her eyes soft with sadness. Tears running down her face, Amber snuggled close to her mama.
Robert struggled for words. “I - I just...” He shook his head. “I don’t know how to say thank you. I simply can’t think of the right words to tell you how much I appreciate what you’ve done for me. You not only saved my life - you gave me a new life.” Tears blurred his vision. Wiping them away, he took a deep breath. “I will never forget what you’ve done for me.”
“You’ve done just as much for us, Robert.” Polly stepped forward to take his hand. “White folks ain’t the only ones who needs to learn to be color-blind. I reckon black folks needs to learn the same thing. You done taught us that.” She chuckled. “I sure was mad at that fella who dumped you here then took off. Now I wish I could find him to thank him.”
“Me, too,” Robert echoed. “I wonder if I’ll ever know who he was.” He sho
ok his head. That wasn’t what was important now. Kneeling, he held his arms out to Amber. She darted into them, sobs wracking her tiny body.
“I love you, Robert. I love you!” she cried, wrapping her arms around him tightly.
“And I love you, Amber.” Robert held her for several minutes; then he gently held her away and wiped her tears. “It’s not going to be forever,” he reminded her. “I’ll be back to visit just as soon as I can. And I’ll bring Carrie with me.”
“Promise?” Amber brushed at her tears and tried to sound brave.
“Promise,” Robert said solemnly.
Polly stepped forward to pull Amber back. “We got to let Robert get going. He’s got a right long way to Richmond.”
Gabe stepped forward and held out his hand. Robert gripped it firmly, knowing no words were needed. Everything they needed to say had already been said. Their hearts and minds understood each other. That’s what counted.
Finally Robert turned to Granite and took the reins from Clint. Clint held out his hand. Robert grasped it and pulled Clint into a rough hug.
Clint hugged him back briefly before the boy stepped away. “Like I said before - you ain’t so bad for a white man,” he said gruffly.
Robert grinned, swung into the saddle, and trotted away. He looked back for one final glimpse before the woods swallowed him and made the tiny cabin invisible. Tears blurred his vision for several minutes before he straightened in the saddle and took a deep breath. Now that the goodbyes had been said, his thoughts flew to the South.
He had a long way to go, but he was going home!
Moses leaned back against a tree as he stared out over the Rappahannock River in the distance. He missed being a spy, but he had not been able deny Captain Jones’ request. His captain had called him into his tent shortly after the new year and told him he had been given command of one of the many black regiments being mustered into the army. Tens of thousands of black men had promptly enlisted in the army when Lincoln released his Emancipation Proclamation. Captain Jones had asked Moses to serve with him even though, as a black man, he could not be given the commission of an officer. Moses had pushed aside his horror of battle and agreed. He owed the captain a great deal. He would do what was needed. If it meant he had to fight, he would fight.
