by Grea Warner
“It’s Mommy, right?” Sallie’s light blue eyes, which had been sleepy, were open with anticipation as she looked at Ryan.
“Yeah, baby. She wants to wish you a happy Easter. Just talk for a little bit, all right?”
“Hi, Mommy!” She wiggled with the phone in her hand. “Happy Easter,” the little girl said, and then, after a pause, “Yeah.”
Ryan, who had been watching Sallie, turned to me. “I’m glad she called. I think Sallie, in particular, was hoping ... needed it. She’s sensitive to the bigger stuff like holidays.”
“Heck, I was a little teary talking with my family,” I admitted, and Ryan touched my cheek. “Thanks for the basket by the way. That was way too sweet.” It was the first time I had a chance to acknowledge my Easter basket, which included a chocolate, nut-free bunny. I didn’t want to say anything in front of the kids, because they still believed in human-sized rabbits who hid holiday things.
“What? I didn’t have anything to do with that,” Ryan teased. “What are you talking about? That was all Mr. Rabbit.”
I chuckled, and we both refocused on Sallie’s phone conversation. “Yeah, mine was in the laundry basket.” She made an exaggerated disgusted face before saying, “Yuk! No smelly clothes inside.” She listened again before explaining, “His was in the bathtub. Daddy’s was in the closet under the TV. And we found Bethany’s behind the guitars, but we let her find it by herself.”
I looked at Ryan. Did Kari know about me? If she didn’t—which I suspected was the case—surely having an Easter basket at their house would throw out some flags. Ryan just nonchalantly shrugged.
“No. She’s Daddy’s friend.” Sallie confirmed Kari’s lack of knowledge, and Ryan twisted his lips but still looked content.
I wished I was completely at ease, too, but I had that same feeling I had about lying. I felt as though I should be diving under something because the wife walked in to find the mistress. Even though I knew that was not the scenario at all, I felt it. Maybe I needed to quit watching those afternoon soaps with the women at the house when I wasn’t working.
“Yeah, she’s here now.” Sallie spoke into the phone. “Yeah.”
I’m not sure if it was because of my squirming or if Ryan legitimately wanted Sallie to go to sleep that he ended the mother-daughter conversation. “Sals, I let you talk with Mommy, but it’s late. You need to say good-bye.”
“Bye, Mommy!” she obliged. “I miss you. ... . I know. Me, too. Here’s Daddy.” She handed Ryan his phone back.
Ryan gave his daughter a soft kiss on her cheek. “Good night, sweetie. See you in the morning.” And then, after watching her walk up the stairs, Ryan brought the phone to his ear and spoke. “Hey.” He looked almost vacantly around the family room while taking in whatever Kari was saying. “Sure. I’m glad you caught her. Sorry the little guy was zonked. ... . Yep. ... . It was. It’s fun watching them get so excited. I’m not sure how much longer Sallie is gonna—" Ryan stopped talking for a second or two. “I know. Too fast. She’s starting to tuck herself in now.” Ryan swayed from one foot to the other and then seemed to react to Kari’s next thought. “I think you know what she meant.” When his eyes found mine, I knew the topic of their conversation had changed to me. “It’s time, Kari. We both moved on. Everything is settled with the show and your tour. We can let the public know.”
Ryan’s voice was still as calm as it had been the entire evening, and it reassured me. Yet, I felt like that part of their conversation was personal. I should definitely give them their privacy. As I started to walk away, though, Ryan gently grabbed my forearm with his free hand and stroked it. He nodded and clasped my hand, asking me nonverbally to stay.
“Yeah. I do.” He spoke back into the phone. “Maybe. ... . You know I will. I do.” Kari must have spoken again because he was silent and then gave an answer. “Yeah, I agree.”
Ryan smiled warmly at me. And while I didn’t know the exact words she was saying, I knew what they were talking about. And I could hear there wasn’t any anger. I could see the ease in his being when he looked at me.
“Good,” he said to Kari again. “All right. Once you get back, we’ll find a good day to schedule the announcement. Bye, Kari.”
Ryan had to let go of my hand to hang up his phone and place it back on the coffee table. I noticed immediately how his voice was a little different when talking with me. It was as if he was digging a little deeper into his core to explain a truth he probably hadn’t openly spoken of before. “The day the divorce was final? It was your audition day.”
“Oh.” I think I said it out loud. I had not known that little fact. Sure, I had seen their divorce papers, but it hadn’t connected. At the time, I was just registering the shock that he was not married.
“It didn’t matter that we both knew it was for the best. It didn’t matter that the marriage was done a long time before. It didn’t matter that I wanted the closure so much. It still struck as though a sword had sliced right through me. I had failed and, honestly, I’m not used to doing that. Today? That conversation?” He looked at the disconnected call from his ex-wife. “It was the opposite. It was like how I wanted it to feel on that day. It ... and you ...”
His voice faded, but he didn’t need to say any more. I hadn’t realized it, but there was a part of me that needed to hear that phone conversation—to know the truth was going to come out ... to know he didn’t harbor any lingering feelings ... to know we were legit. And that he wasn’t going back to her ... like Hutch. The phone call did that, but his little soliloquy to me after absolutely solidified it.
I rested my hands on his shirt-covered back and then tilted slightly up to kiss him. I purposefully did it softly so he could recognize my thanks and give him comfort over what he had just revealed. His kiss back was equally as sweet. But the more the mutual bond continued, the more the passion grew. And I really couldn’t honestly say whose mouth and mind started the intensity. I know it was Ryan who halted it, though ... if only for a moment.
“Be with me.” His mesmerizing eyes had never been that direct and close to mine when he spoke. “Stay.” He confirmed his meaning.
Those kisses ... My body was already saying yes, and my mind only did one little hiccup when I thought back to the last time he had asked me to stay. That had been because of the lack of Uber transportation. This was not that at all. This was him wanting me and me wanting him. There wasn’t a doubt. And I couldn’t resist telling him in our unique Bethany-Ryan way. I pulled away and went to my phone, which was resting next to his.
“What are you doing?” he asked with the slightest twinge of unease when I started to type. “You’re checking messages now?”
I gave him a little smirk, put my phone back down, and then waited for his to chime the incoming message. His eyes squinting at me let me know he knew I was up to something. Ryan coupled next to me and picked up his phone to read the text.
RyanThompsonMusic—for real? It wasn’t a tweet, but I made it in the form of one.
Ryan pressed his lips together in a smile, typed something into his phone, and put it back down next to mine. It was my turn to get the message, which read, Bethany_Lenay—for real.
I no sooner had my phone back at rest than he scooped me up with his athletic arms. Since I had on my Easter dress, I swung my legs to the side and looped my hands around his neck. He kissed me once and started walking us toward the back staircase. But just as we approached, he stopped, looked at me, and turned around.
Despite the sudden acidy surge slamming into the core of my abdomen, I kept the humor I was known for. “Did you forget what you were doing?”
He pecked me on the lips for reassurance. “Most definitely not.”
Staying on the home’s main floor, he walked us down a side hallway and into the guest room. Gently, he brought me back to my feet—shoeless, of course—in front of the bed. As he wrapped his arms around my waist, the passionate kissing session resumed. I pressed my lips and my body as close to
him as possible. I knew I was losing my sense of time and space as the need intensified.
Ryan, blowing out a slight breath, said, “Geez, I forgot about ... I haven’t had to think about ... having something.”
“I’m on the pill.” And just to clarify—even though I hoped I hadn’t needed to—I continued to explain, “Just because it regulates me. I’m all good.”
And in those seconds that we discussed birth control, I realized I had no intention of asking Ryan for further protection as I had with Andre. Ryan was different. I trusted him implicitly. Being with him was different on so many levels.
“Ryan? This means something to me.” My words came out with a clip of caution, and I prayed he understood.
“It means so much something to me.” He echoed sweet and reassuring.
Ryan found the zipper on my brown dress and carefully leveled it. The garment easily fell to the ground, exposing my lacy, red bra-and-panty set. I was self-conscious but only for a second because his appreciative groan and slight close of eyes made me do a partial chuckle. After Ryan untucked his white dress shirt, I continued his unveiling by unbuttoning it. And then, oh, my stars ... his chest. Seeing the muscular ripples of his bare abs and just a trickle of dark hair made my insides clench. I had fallen for Ryan because of our connection to words and music and how much of a genuine, thoughtful person he was, but, admittedly, his body was an added bonus. I traveled my hands a little further south, and he joined me in undoing his fly. Shrugging his pants off to reveal black boxer briefs, he once again pulled me swiftly to him for another round of sensual kisses while skimming the sides of my body from my breasts to my hips. After pulling down the cream-colored comforter, Ryan lifted and placed me on top of the heavenly bed before planking himself above. When he kissed my hand where the medical alert ring resided, I smiled at the gesture. He cared—everything about him said it. His hands on my bra felt as if he was sculpting ... feeling ... taking in the experience. The easy front clasp allowed him to first caress with his hands and then his mouth. That was my complete undoing. My body was screaming for his.
But I had to concentrate on his words. He was talking to me, and it was pure Ryan. “You know my song right now?” he asked as if we were in his living room going over song recollections to help with writing.
“Huh?” I managed.
“‘Lady in Red,’” he purred out the title.
I thought about the lyrics that told of a relationship solely between two people. There was no one else. And I appreciated it on a whole different level than simply the color choice of my undergarments.
I was more than ready, and I knew he was, too. Hunching back on his knees, he started to snake my panties down my legs, and then took care of his own. Oh, geez, I could hardly wait. I shut my eyes on his kiss. Then slowly I started to feel him inside me. Ryan called out my name and I his as an amazing, harmonious connection of our bodies happened.
***
With my head resting on one of the blissful pillows, I was sighing in that peaceful, content way while coming down from the experience of making love with Ryan. I opened my eyes to see him propped on his side beside me in the bed ... just looking. He was looking at me. Those magnificent blue eyes were almost twitching as if he was in deep concentration.
“You’re not thinking of a score, are you?” I teased, referencing his television role.
“Wha—?” he started and then understood. “No!” He touched my lips with his pointer finger and dragged it down a bit as I smiled. “No. God, Bethany, we ... our bodies are so—"
I cut him off because I agreed wholeheartedly. “In tune with each other.”
“Yeah.” He smiled. “I was going to say in sync.”
He rolled over a little so he was able to kiss me in that slow, sweet way of his. I was wondering if I would ever be able to get enough of his mouth on mine or our tongues deliciously dancing with each other’s. I wasn’t sure I was ready to admit it to him or not, but our lovemaking was, by far, the best I ever had. It wasn’t an awkward first-time experience, or being young and thinking I was in love, or a regretful hook-up in a basement laundry area. It was real and powerful.
“Daddy?” I moved my head slightly to make sure I had heard the voice. “Daddy?” It came again after a short pause. It was Joel and, from what I could tell, he was still upstairs. “Daddy!” The pause that time was shorter, and the word came out louder and with much more urgency.
“Ryan?” I questioned.
His chest rose and fell with an extended sigh. “I know. He’s been doing this. It’s not all the time. But more often since Kari has actually been on tour.” When Joel cried out again, my mouth dipped in sadness for the little boy, and Ryan explained, “They know they’re not allowed to leave their rooms at night. I usually bring him into my room with me.”
“Oh,” I said, and then it dawned on me where Ryan was ... not in his room ... and not alone. “Oh.” It was my turn to sigh.
“Let me go calm him down. I’ll be back.”
***
I was sitting up, completely covered by the soft sheets, when Ryan returned about fifteen minutes later. Watching him enter with only his boxer briefs on made my heart pitter-patter all over again. It was hard finding something wrong with the man. And it was so ironic that everything I was witness to since our first meeting was the exact opposite of what the world believed, thanks to a persona he was crowned with on TV.
“Dating with kids,” he said crawling back in bed. “I never thought about it.”
I was glad he hadn’t. It even further legitimized our relationship in my eyes. But he was right. There was a lot to consider when dating someone with kids. So far, things were good. But it was new, and those two innocent little ones never had someone besides their mom be with their dad. I wondered how I would have handled that as a young child ... or even as an adult. I wanted Ryan, but I didn’t want to hurt those kids or, consequently, him.
“What are you thinking?” He had that concentrated look on me again. “Bethany?”
“Should I not be here? Joel and Sallie ... they already have enough things on their minds, and if they—"
My brown eyes met his deep blue ones when he gently lifted my chin with his hand. “We talked about this. They know you. They like you. I am not keeping you a secret from my kids.”
“Just to everyone else.”
He sighed before replying, “But you won’t be. That’s what the whole conversation with Kari was about.” He dipped his face closer to mine. “Joel’s fine, and I want you to stay.”
“I—"
“For real.”
I shook my head but eased my shoulders. “I ‘for real’ would like that, too.” I curled once again into his arms. “Thanks for all of my Easter treats, Ryan.”
“Back at you, Lenay.” He punctuated his sentence with that special name and a tap on my nose.
Easter is all about resurrection. And in the comfort of his arms, I felt a little like I was doing just that. I was being reborn or at least discovering my new, true self.
Chapter Eight
I did end up leaving before the kids were up the next morning. But it wasn’t because of secrets or expectations. It was because I had an early shift at the coffee shop and still needed to get back to my place and change before heading to caffeine headquarters. If Easter was busy, the Monday morning after was going to be even more so.
Most likely, alongside those espressos, lattes, and caps, I was going to have to pull an extra shot for myself after staying at Ryan’s. Not because we had stayed up late. We had actually closed our eyes shortly after Ryan returned from consoling Joel. But in contrast to Ryan, who had seemed so content in his slumber, I had trouble falling asleep and then staying that way. I wasn’t used to the rise and fall of his body as he breathed in and out ... of having his chest be my pillow and his arm as my blanket. It had been a while since Hutch. And even back then, in school, we often wouldn’t stay the night because of roommates and small bed sizes. Everything
with Ryan was different, and it frightened me to know I could definitely get used to the comfort and security of his body wrapped around mine. And that was the other part that had kept me awake.
Having Willow catch me coming in that morning, still adorning my Easter dress, did not help matters. “Uh, uh, uh, what is this? Where have you been all night?” Her eyes seemed to glisten with potential gossip.
“Willow ...” I couldn’t lie. I already felt like I was doing enough of that, even though it was more like dodging the topic.
“Yeah?” She stood at her doorway ready to lock her door as I was trying to enter mine.
“There is a chance you will just let this drop, right? Just pretend ...?”
“Yeah, right. How long have you known me?”
Long enough that I considered her my best friend and someone I could confide in. But still, I hadn’t told her about Andre due to pure regret and embarrassment. And Ryan trusted me not to say anything about us for the time being.
“Aren’t you going to be late for class?” I diverted.
“I can afford a couple minutes.”
“Well, I’m gonna be late for work.” I had my door unlocked and was opening it when I stopped and said, “Let’s just say I was singing at a sultry dive and crashed in the room behind the bar ... alone.”
“Uh-huh. Sounds just like you.” She shook her head, and I imagined the now two extra shots in my future cappuccino.
“Willow, I am going to be late. I’ll tell you when I can.” I knew she thought that meant when we both had time, but, in reality, it was when press managers of superstars put it on a schedule.
“Fine.” She seemed slightly put off but then turned it around. “The daydreamy look works on you, though.” She smiled at me. “Going out with Til tonight. So, I won’t see you at dinner or probably after. We’ll catch up soon, though.”
