by Ruth Wind
"No," she whispered. She reached for him, no longer content to be led down whatever path it was he thought he had to take. She stroked his flat stomach and bent her head to his chest, kissing his flat nipple, trailing her tongue over the light, crisp hair on his chest.
She reached for the snap on his jeans. His huge hands seized her wrists. "Mattie, I'm serious. We'll be miserable if we don't wait."
"I'm going to be miserable if we do."
He touched her face. "Trust me."
Mattie sighed. Once again, she was going to miss out. "Fine," she said and went to sit in the corner to wait out the rain.
* * *
Chapter 13
«^»
Even without making love, the ride back to the cabin was unadulterated misery. The rain had slowed to a mild pattering sprinkle, but the wind sliced through their wet clothes with sharp, stinging needles of ice. Zeke felt his hair get stiff on his shoulders and knew Mattie had to feel even worse. She'd never been stuck in a rainstorm on a motorcycle before.
The alternative had been to stay in the cave by the stream and freeze slowly. Even with a fire, they would have grown more and more miserable. Better to cut their losses and get back as quickly as possible.
The misery, however, did perform the necessary duty of quenching the fierce desire between them. Not even Zeke felt randy by the time they got back. He sent Mattie in ahead while he unfastened their groceries from the back of the bike. "Get out of those wet clothes and start some water boiling."
She nodded mutely. With a stab of guilt, Zeke saw her lips were pale blue.
He gave her a few minutes, then hauled in the supplies. Her clothes were in a wet pile on the floor, and she huddled on the bed, shivering, wrapped in his stallion blanket. "I'm sorry, Mattie," he said, dropping the pack. His own teeth chattered and he kicked off his boots. "Go on down to the sauna. I'll bring towels and coffee in a minute."
"That's okay, Zeke. I'll get warm in a minute."
"Not like that you won't," he returned, stripping off his shirt and rubbing his flesh with a towel. "Go on. The sauna will make you feel better. That's why I have it."
Reluctantly, she sat up. "Can I take the blanket in with me?"
"Yeah." He had a spare sleeping bag in the crawl space.
Clutching the blanket around her, she hobbled out.
Zeke shed his soggy jeans and wrapped himself in a big terry-cloth robe. Barefooted and chilled to the bone, he made two big mugs of instant coffee, put generous helpings of sugar and powdered cream into Mattie's, and carried them outside.
It was gloomy and dark because of the heavy clouds, which showed no signs of clearing out. Unusual for afternoon storms to last, but it did happen sometimes.
He knocked on the sauna door. Mattie called, "Come in," and he entered.
Curled in the blanket, covered to her nose, she sat on the low bench. The perpetual fire was low and the room was not terribly warm yet.
He gave her the coffee. "It'll warm you up from the inside."
One white arm slipped from between the folds of the blanket to take the cup. "I've never been so bone-cold in my entire life."
"I know, honey." He touched her shoulder. "It'll be better in a little while. I'll get some more wood."
From the pile of wood outside, Zeke selected slender bits of kindling and carried them inside to get the fire going well again. While the smaller pieces caught and began to burn, he gathered another armload and took it inside, closing the door firmly behind him as the rain began to fall again with a vengeance. "Albuquerque low," he commented, feeding the fire some healthier logs.
"Pardon me?"
He poked the embers and watched the kindling begin to flicker. Yellow flames started to lick at the logs. "It's a weather pattern that makes storms just hang over the mountains. We'll probably have rain for a day or two now. Good thing we got supplies today."
"I suppose it is." Her hair was beginning to dry in the little wisps around her cheeks that he found so appealing. Her days in the sunshine had given her a burnished look – her skin warming, her hair taking on hints of sunny color. Feeling a stir in his thawing nether regions, he tied his robe more tightly and sat on the wooden floor by the pool.
Overhead, the rain pattered down, a relaxing sound that provided a comfortable counterpoint to the crackling fire. A smell of pine rose to mingle with the musky scent of the water, and the combination caused him to lean back against the wall. "I love this place," he said.
"Me, too," Mattie said quietly. "I was thinking when I was in here last night that I've never been anywhere that was so welcoming."
"Starting to thaw a little now?"
She smiled. "A little." One bare foot snuck out of the blanket. "Surely you don't ride that bike in the wintertime."
"I have a truck in storage in town." He sipped the hot coffee, his own innards feeling vaguely human again. "Ready for steam?"
"Sure."
He bent over the pool and splashed the incinerator. The steam was poor quality, but it wouldn't be much longer before they could engulf themselves in it if they wanted to. He splashed again and heard a satisfying sizzle.
"What made you think of building this?" Mattie asked. Her other foot had emerged from the blanket, and both legs hung over the bench now, naked to the knee. Zeke wondered if she'd put on dry clothes or just wrapped the blanket around her naked body.
"There's a hot-springs resort a little farther north," he said. "They had one like this up there." To distract himself from the delectable vision of those slender, bare calves, he tossed up more water. Steam floated down around them.
"We'll need the lantern before much longer." He leaned to give her a book of matches from his robe pocket. "It's right behind you on that hook."
When she leaned forward, the blanket slipped away from her shoulder and he saw that it was bare. As if she didn't notice his suddenly intense perusal, she set her coffee on the bench beside her and adjusted the blanket so that it was tucked under her arms, removing all doubt about whether she wore anything beneath.
Anchoring the blanket firmly over her breasts, she lit the lantern. There was one bad moment when he thought her covering might slip all the way off, but it stayed secure and she yanked it up casually when she finished her task.
The pale yellow light tumbled over her, gleaming along one shoulder and arm, disappearing in the seductive hollow between her breasts, skirting the edge of the blanket to fall on her foot.
Zeke averted his gaze.
The fire roared and the rain poured. Zeke's body came all the way unfrozen and reminded him of what he'd been in the middle of when the weather and location had intervened. He wondered if Mattie still wanted him the way he wanted her. She seemed to be sending no signals his way; in fact, she seemed quite content to just sit there, sipping coffee.
He told himself it would be best to leave it alone. Let her go. Something happened to him when he touched her, something he didn't know if he liked. He came all undone.
Restlessly, he reached for the small wooden cup floating in the pool and tossed a solid spray of water at the incinerator. Thick soothing steam enveloped them.
Not that it helped much. The delectable Mattie closed her eyes and leaned back against the wall. The position showed off that long, beautiful throat, and Zeke gazed at it hungrily, watching as steam dewed her flesh. Lamplight glowed over the edge of her collarbone, spilled on the plump tops of her breasts, round and glowing with moisture.
He shifted irritably, hard as a scratching post.
At the cave, he'd felt something evil come over him when she'd expectantly let him take her shirt and bra from her body. It was the same thing that came over him when he ruined his past relationships, something dark he couldn't control, that turned him into a world-class jerk.
Usually, however, he did wait until he got laid.
A cynical voice spoke deep within his mind. Nice try.
The truth was, Zeke – for the first time in his life – was vulnera
ble to a woman. There she had been, sturdy and strong and ripe, naked to the waist in the great outdoors, hungry for his touch – and Zeke had been pierced clear through with the knowledge that this was no ordinary woman. That this time, he might be the one to fall, the one who ended up wanting more than she could give.
He didn't know what would happen to him if he let himself go. It wasn't the blistering need he feared anymore, either. Not the sex.
He feared for his heart. He didn't know how she'd done it, but somehow she'd slipped through all the defenses he'd built over the years, and he didn't know what would happen if he let his guard down enough to make love.
He glanced at her again. How could he resist?
Had the blanket slipped a little lower or was that wishful thinking? A little more of her leg showed now, there was no doubt about that. He could see the vulnerable flesh of her inner thigh just above her knee. What would she do if he eased over there and kissed that place?
Into the long silence, Mattie said, "Penny for your thoughts."
He jerked his gaze up. "What?"
"Penny for your thoughts," she said again, and there was a spark of mischief in her eyes. She lifted her coffee cup and the blanket did slip this time, almost all the way down. It hung tantalizingly at the edge of her breasts, ready to fall away the next time she took a breath.
Damn.
He put down his coffee cup deliberately. Gathering the robe around his thighs, he stepped into the shallow pool and waded over to her. "I'm thinking it's time, now, Miss Mary."
With a wide-eyed gaze, she stared at him. "Is it?" He reached for the edge of the blanket and slipped a hand below it. As he'd known it would, the fabric tumbled from her breasts, from her body, fell around her nakedness like the shed shell of a newly born wood nymph.
He groaned and swayed forward to kiss her throat, brushing her breasts with his hands. Her limbs were trembling again as he let his mouth descend, let his mouth burn a trail over her breasts and belly and secret heat, over a slim white thigh to that vulnerable place on the inside of her knee. He paused there and bit her lightly. She made a low, pained sound and tugged at his robe. Zeke stepped back to shake it off, caring little that it was soaked as he dragged it through the water.
Mattie reached for him. "Let me touch you," she whispered, sliding forward until she could join him, face-to-face in the small pool. She spread her palms open on his chest and touched him all over, smoothing his chest and arms, his hips and buttocks and belly. But they'd waited too long for much play. When she took his heat into her hand, he groaned and captured her small naked form against him. Dragging the blanket from the bench to the floor, he lifted her from the pool and lay her down on the thin soft pallet.
He covered her with himself, and struggling for control, trapped her between his legs and arms, stretching her arms over her head to kiss her hard. Mattie lifted her head and kissed him back, furiously, a soft, panting noise coming from her throat. The sound brought the savagery to him again, that wild, demonic need to possess her. He moved his body against hers to feel her breasts and the tantalizing whisper of her female heat against his raging organ.
In spite of the mark it would leave, he suckled her neck, and heard the low, aroused sound in her throat intensify. He bent his head over her breasts and tasted her nipples, using his tongue to bring that writhing to a fever pitch. She arched upward, pressing herself into him, asking the thing he wanted most to give.
He let her arms go and kissed her belly. Mattie dragged him up to her, to kiss him, deeply and hungrily. His control came undone. With a pained groan, he shifted and she accommodated him eagerly, parting her legs, offering herself.
The kissing was too much, too intimate, he thought. He should stop kissing her. But her mouth was like a potent spell – the more he drank, the more he needed. He couldn't stop. He clasped her soft breast in his hand and held her lips and eased his manhood into her wet and waiting heat. Oh, just a little at a time, just a little, so he wouldn't hurt her. But she arched suddenly, shifting her body to bring him home, and Zeke groaned at the searing pleasure of being fully sheathed in Mattie. Mattie.
Then there was no thought. He grabbed her shoulders and thrust, feeling her rise and swell and whimper as they moved in ways not simple or easy or calm, only purely, desperately hungry.
As they moved, he felt the earth shift around him, as if his place in the universe had been suddenly changed. He looked down at Mattie's face, and even in the midst of his passion, he was overwhelmed with details – the fan of her long eyelashes over her sun-kissed cheeks, the spray of her hair on her ear, the perfection of her long white throat – and it didn't feel like anything he'd known before.
He kissed her and kissed her and kissed her, moving in her mouth and in her body, overcome with a painful rippling sense of rightness. She began to quiver, lost, and clutched his shoulders fiercely.
He lifted his head and slowed down, kissing her gently now, drawing out her pleasure. Not to illustrate his prowess, but because he could see by the wonder in her face this was a new sensation, that she'd not made acquaintance with her body this way before. His breath came in heavy, uneven rasps, but he held on, teasing her mouth with his tongue, touching her breasts with his hands, letting that power build and build and build—
She came apart, and Zeke let go, driving into her without restraint, thrilling to the cry that escaped her throat. Her body convulsed around him, a roaring filled his ears.
He splintered into a billion pieces.
His heart, made of thinnest glass, shattered.
And rather than look into her face, rather than let her know what she'd done, he waited until the pulsing of her body was finished, until his was done, and eased away. He didn't look at her, only stood up and went out into the rain to hide.
* * *
At first, Mattie was stunned. Her body still rippled with the power of their joining. She was not a virgin, but she might as well have been for the difference she felt in herself now. His departure left her cold, but worse than that, she felt as if he'd taken a part of her – ripped away a shard of her soul as he stood up and ran into the rain.
Behind the shock came anger, pure and white, filling every corner and unknown cranny of her mind. She jumped up and grabbed the blanket to wrap around her and stormed outside.
Rain blinded her momentarily, and the ground was muddy beneath her feet. Clutching the blanket around her newly warm body, she shivered at the press of rain, looking around for Zeke. He was nowhere in sight.
She paused, frowning, hoping she wouldn't lose this anger before she found him. It was about time he got a piece of her mind for this on-and-off, hot-and-cold nonsense. Did men think women were immune to sexual feelings? That they could just turn them off at will?
An odd sound of water reached her, not the rain. She listened carefully and remembered the shower.
She rounded the small building and saw him standing under the warm water of the outdoor shower, his hair soaked once again by a combination of rain and shower water. His skin shimmered with pearlescent light, the last breath of day seeming to concentrate here, on him, on the long limbs corded with muscle, on the lean lines of his scarred and beautiful back, on his buttocks and thighs and calves, on his bent head and rigidly clasped fists.
He looked – broken.
Her anger dissolved instantly. Dragging her soaked blanket with her, she went to him, dropping her covering when she reached the platform. Without a word, she joined him in the hot-and-cold water pouring down upon them, pressed her body against his back and put her arms around his body. The thick puckered scar pressed into her ear and she turned her face to kiss it.
He turned, big as a bear, and kissed her. Now she tasted desperation, a lostness as gray as the day, and she held him close, stroking his arms and his face, touching his chest. Slowly, feeling his need, she explored his body with her lips and her hands – the lean ropy arms and broad chest, his hard waist, the silky, pointed weight of his manhood. And w
hen he was groaning, clutching her hair, she kissed him again. He lifted her easily, bracing her on the edge of the rail, and drove himself into her with a fury that had nothing to do with violence and everything to do with love.
She loved him. The thought came to her in the aftermath, with her head nestled on his shoulder, her legs wrapped easily around his waist, his arms locked around her back. Rain poured around them softly and Mattie felt as if it were washing away everything. The past. The future. The false starts and false messages and false fronts each had erected against the other. It poured over them, salty and fresh and clean.
At last, Zeke moved, lifting his head to look at her. So serious. She touched his face. "What pagans we are," she said softly.
"Yeah." The word was thick with satisfaction. He looked up at the rain and closed his eyes, his hands still wrapped around her back. Mattie knew with an acute awareness that she would always remember this moment: both of them nude in the falling twilight of a mountain summer, sated and yet still hungry, Zeke's strong face tipped to received the gift of rain, his broad hands warm on her. She lifted her own face to it, feeling again the strange sense of power that had come upon her in this shower once before, only this time it was stronger, wilder – she was the trees and the rain and Zeke and herself all at once.
He kissed her suddenly and scooped her into his arms. "We're going to catch our death of cold out here. I'm also starving."
"What are we going to wear back to the house? Everything is soaked."
"We'll walk. Like Adam and Eve."
"Don't you ever get visitors up here?"
"Never. Not even once." He looked down at her. "You're the first human who's ever seen the place."
"What about the propane man?"
"He won't be here till tomorrow."
"I still feel weird walking all over creation with no clothes on."
"Then let's run." He grabbed her hand and with a shriek, Mattie ran after him, sure at any moment someone would drive up the road, or a helicopter would fly over. He seemed to have no such worries. They dashed inside and both dived for the bed, grabbing the sleeping bag to cover themselves in.
