Silencing Memories

by Desiree Holt

  He’d been working with his team for more than thirty minutes, supervising the prep for the alarm system, when he heard hooves thundering and looked up to see Lindsey and Sanchez riding hell bent for leather toward the ranch. Alarm bells clanging in his head, he walked over to the barn to meet them. Sanchez’s face looked like a thundercloud, and Lindsey was clutching the reins of her horse, trembling.

  “What?” Nick asked as he jogged up to them, trying to beat back the rising panic. They were both still alive and unbloodied so what the hell had happened?

  “Bastard,” Sanchez growled.

  “Who?” Nick snapped. “What are you talking about?”

  “We got to the big hill near the north pasture when I saw something glinting in the sun. Before I could get the binoculars on it, I heard the rifle shot. If I hadn’t started Lindsey toward the trees, she’d be lying dead back there, or at least badly wounded.”

  Nick swallowed the sour taste of acid in his mouth. He’d had a bad feeling about this. Letting her go on the ride had been a big mistake. “Did you get a look at who it was?”

  Sanchez shook his head. “I heard the engine of an ATV. Whoever was riding it was over the hill and gone before I could get a glimpse.” He swung down from the saddle. “I’ll take care of the horses. You’d better see to Lindsey before she faints.”

  Nick was aware that Lindsey hadn’t said a word. She was still trembling, her face pale, clinging to the pommel of her saddle. Nick reached up, and she collapsed forward into his arms.

  “I’m sorry,” she said in a low voice. “I should have listened to you, but I thought for sure…”

  “That you’d be safe on your own property,” Nick finished for her, holding her tightly against him. “Yeah, whoever this is, they’re doing their homework.”

  “I don’t feel safe anywhere anymore.” Her voice was muffled against his chest. “God, Nick. I thought I was so strong, that I could handle anything. But I seem to keep falling apart.”

  “Listen to me.” Nick cupped her chin and lifted her face to him. “Stronger people than you have been smart enough to be afraid when someone comes after them like this. Don’t put yourself down. You can bet I’m going to glue myself to your side. No one—and I mean no one—is going to get to you until this is over.”

  She wrapped her arms around him, holding tightly. He felt something turn over in his heart, something completely unfamiliar. Something he didn’t want to analyze right now.

  Lindsey sighed and moved out of the circle of his arms, glancing around the yard. “Ruben looks like the sentinel on duty, keeping out the Philistines,” she joked.

  The older man was working on ranch equipment and quietly keeping an eye on the strangers.

  “Ruben and I have come to an understanding. He’ll let me put any kind of gadget I want around here as long he can still shoot first and ask questions later.”

  Lindsey threw back her head and laughed, albeit somewhat shakily. “That is so Ruben. Good for him.”

  “Come on,” Nick told her, taking her by the hand. “I’ll show you what we’ve done so far.”

  ****

  They had just finished lunch when Nick’s cell phone rang. He looked at the readout and headed toward the patio. “I’ll take this outside. I won’t be long.”

  As he slid the patio door open, Lindsey heard him say, “Hi, Stacy. What’s going on?”

  His voice had a softness that wasn’t there when he spoke to his office or his men, and a wide grin split his face.

  Lindsey fought the urge to eavesdrop on the conversation while at the same time chiding herself for acting like an idiot. Of course women would call him. Did she think that, just because he told her they had something special, he was cutting himself off from everyone else? But the way he said this woman’s name and the look on his face indicated she was something special, too, and the knife of jealousy twisted in her gut. She hated thinking about him with other women.

  No! He’s mine! You can’t have him!

  Well, that was pretty damn stupid. He certainly wasn’t hers. Despite everything he’d said, there was still nothing binding Nick Vanetta to her except this job and great sex. Probably the best sex she’d ever have. But maybe it was time to rein that in. Protect herself. Forget about that tiny piece of hope she’d been nurturing.

  “Everything okay?” she asked when he came back inside. She was proud of the casual tone in her voice. “No problems at work?”

  “No, this wasn’t work-related and everything’s fine. Ready to hit the attic?”

  Lindsey bit back the urge to ask him who’d called and just nodded. She wished he would wipe that stupid grin off his face. With an effort, she tamped down her irritation. “Yes. All set. Let’s do it.”

  They pulled down the stairs that led up to the attic, really not much more than a crawl space, and climbed up to find the boxes. There were six file storage cartons, dusty and beginning to rot in some places. They obviously hadn’t been touched in ages.

  “Take them to my bedroom,” Lindsey said. “I have that big desk in there, and we’ll have room to spread stuff out.”

  And keep them out of Mary’s and Ruben’s eyesight until I look for myself.

  It didn’t take them all that long to move the stuff from the attic to her room. Nick stacked the boxes on the floor and lifted the first one to her desk.

  “I guess you’re mother really didn’t want you opening these.” Nick was working to open one with the scissors he found in the desk, slicing through layers of masking tape.

  “I can’t imagine what’s in them.” Lindsey pulled at the tape as it finally came loose. “All our family pictures are in albums downstairs. My mother was very meticulous about doing that.”

  Nick shrugged. “Maybe this is from before you were born, which is what I’m hoping. There’s got to be something in here, somewhere, that will help us find answers.”

  Finally, the box was open, and Lindsey yanked the lid off. “What on earth?”

  The box was filled with loose photographs, thrown in helter-skelter. Many of them had the sepia tone of very old pictures, the rest were black and white. She began taking them out, looking at them carefully in amazement. “I have no idea who any of these people are. Here.” She dug both hands into the box. “Help me take them all out and see if there’s writing on the back of any of them.”

  Many of the pictures had water in the background, the people in the photos dressed in bathing suits or shorts.

  “This is an ocean,” Nick said, pointing to one of the pictures. “You can tell by the breakers coming in. Is there anything that tells us where? This country has a lot of coastline.”

  Help me! Help me!

  Water closed over her, choking her, filling her nose and her throat.

  Help me! Please!

  Lindsey dropped the pictures and clutched at her throat, gagging as she fought for air.

  “Lindsey?” Nick pushed everything aside and grabbed her.

  “Can’t…breathe.” The words were dragged from her throat.

  “Come on, honey.” Nick shook her. “What is it? What’s wrong, sugar?”

  Lindsey pushed at the hands gripping her, trying to shove whoever it was away. And then, as suddenly as it started, the episode was gone, leaving her trembling.

  Nick wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to his chest, his big, warm hands stroking the length of her spine. “Darlin’? Are you okay?”

  Her throat was still so tight she couldn’t speak. When her pulse rate finally slowed, she managed to nod. “I’m sorry.” Her words felt as if they’d been scraped from somewhere deep inside her.

  “Sorry? For what?” Nick’s voice had a slight tremor to it. “You scared me half to death. What just happened here?”

  She shook her head. “Could you get me a glass of water, please?”

  He brought her one from the bathroom, along with two aspirin. “Take these. No arguments.”

  She leaned into him while she swallowed the tablets an
d drank the water. The heat from his body warmed her, and after a few minutes, the chill that gripped her dissipated.

  He tightened his arm around her. “Are you ready to tell me about this, Lindsey?”

  She looked up at him. “Yes, but later. Okay? Let’s go through the rest of this stuff.”

  “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea.” He was still holding her, his lips brushing her hair. “Maybe I should get Mary up here.”

  “No, I’m fine now.” She drew in a long breath and slowly let it out. “Really. Okay? Please don’t get Mary involved. Whatever it was is gone. Please? I swear I’ll tell you all about it. Later.”

  He’ll think I’m crazy. And maybe I am.

  Nick hesitated a moment, his gaze moving from her face to her eyes and down to her trembling hands. Then he nodded. “This is against my better judgment, but okay.”

  “Thank you.”

  She managed to pull herself together, although inside, she was still shaking like a field of prairie grass in the wind. The blood in her veins felt ice cold. How could the nightmare intrude on her during the day when she was awake? Was there a clue here in all these pictures with the ocean in them? Was that what this was all about? But why? And who were these people?

  Steeling herself, she picked up another photo and handed it to Nick. “Here. This says ‘Nina and me at the cottage.’ But no geographic designation, and I have no idea who Nina is.”

  “All right. Let’s see what else is in here.”

  They went through every photo, trying to match people and make separate piles. The name Nina was written on the back of several other pictures, always with the same inscription. At least a dozen shots had a teenage boy sitting on the sand holding a baby. These all had the same identification: George holding baby Marie Elizabeth.

  “Elizabeth was my mother’s name.” Lindsey said. “I wonder if there’s any connection. I have no idea who George is or who wrote this stuff. It looks like my mother’s handwriting, but I can’t be sure. And why would she hide it from me?”

  “Let’s try another box,” Nick suggested.

  They worked through most of the afternoon, digging their way through three of the boxes. The tech crew interrupted them briefly to set up the alarm in the bedroom, and twice Nick left to check on their progress in other areas. The rest of the time, they spent trying to find a pattern to the pictures.

  Although a few of the names were repeated over and over, none of them were familiar to Lindsey. And there was nothing else in the boxes except the photos. Nothing to explain who the people were or where the pictures were taken, and nothing to tell them what they had to do with Lindsey or her parents.

  It wasn’t until they began dividing the shots from the third box into piles that the first landmark appeared. A huge house loomed in the background, two-storied with a big front porch and a glassed-in sun porch.

  “This kind of house wasn’t usually built anywhere except in the New England states,” Lindsey said, “and almost always by the water. I took a class in northeastern architecture at the university. A lot of wealthy people had large summer homes at the ocean that looked like this. But New England’s a big place, and this doesn’t give us much information.”

  “Well, you know your parents were solid financially,” Nick pointed out. “You told me they paid cash for this place, and your trust fund is of substantial size. Maybe they were part of the upper class wherever this is.”

  “So what does this mean? They came from wealth? Whose family had it? And is this their house? Was my mother just visiting?”

  “Hold it, hold it.” Nick held his hands out in a stopping motion, laughing. “One question at a time.”

  She rubbed her forehead. “I don’t even know where they lived before they came to Texas. It’s odd to think we never discussed it, but our lives were so full…”

  “I’m not sure we have answers yet for anything you want to know.”

  “But they have to be in here somewhere. Nick, I need to find out who all these people are. Maybe they’re relatives of mine.” Frantically, she grabbed the scissors and began slashing at the tape securing another box.

  Nick grabbed her hand and took the scissors from her. “Let me have this before you slice your hand open. Settle down.” He slit the tape efficiently and pulled the cover off.

  Lindsey’s eyes widened, and she dove in with both hands. “Look, Nick, papers. Here are all kinds of papers. Oh, help me get them out. We have to go through them.” She would have swept all the pictures in their carefully sorted piles off the desk, but Nick caught her hands.

  “Stop. Let’s move aside these stacks that we spent so much time putting together so carefully. Then we’ll look at this other stuff.” He laid each of the piles neatly on the bed and took two fistfuls of material from the newly-opened box, handing one pile to Lindsey. “Here. I’ll look at this batch, and you can go through these others. Let’s see what we can find.”

  Many of the papers were old letters, dated in the 1930s and 1940s. From the words she read, some of them were obviously love letters, to and from people she’d never heard of. No return addresses were to be found nor any clues to their destination. She and Nick sat side by side on the floor, reading silently for more than an hour.

  Lindsey was reading another letter when shock made her hands shake and her heart stutter. She reached out and touched his arm. “Nick. Listen to this. It’s a letter, and much more current. Look at the date. It’s thirty years ago.”

  Carrie,

  I have just come from visiting Brent and Marie. Little Barbara is now four years old, and I don’t know how Marie does it. The child is a terror. She teases the animals viciously, kicks at the nanny, and has the most awful temper tantrums. Marie thinks she is pregnant again, and I worry about the new baby. I tried talking to Brent, but I think you would have more luck with him than I, since he is, after all, your son. Something must be done. This is not a good situation. I await your reply anxiously.

  Affectionately,

  Renee.

  Lindsey wrinkled her forehead. “What on earth do you suppose this is about? Who is Marie, and who is this Barbara who was so awful?”

  “Here’s another one.” Nick held it out to her. “Apparently written a couple of months later. Whoever Renee is, she sounds desperate. She wants Carrie to persuade Brent to take Marie and the baby away after the birth. This kid Barbara must have been some little devil.”

  “So it seems.” Lindsey unfolded another sheet. “Here’s another one written in March. Renee says the baby is due in July. Brent is planning on taking Marie and the child to Grey Rocks, wherever that is. Carrie wants them to leave Barbara in town, and Brent just ignores her.”

  “Okay.” Nick handed over one he’d opened. “This one’s from Carrie to Renee. Now Carrie’s beginning to get distressed. She’s spoken to her son and gotten no further than Renee. The two women are trying to figure out what to do. Lindsey, this sounds like something out of an English mystery.”

  “I know, I know.” She leaned back, pushing the hair away from her face and shoving her glasses back up on her nose. Her eyes were dry with fatigue.

  Nick studied her face. “Linds, I’m not too happy with the lines of strain around your eyes, or your obvious exhaustion which you keep trying to hide. Come on.” He stood up and held out his hand to her. “We’ve been at this all afternoon. We both need a break. Up out of the chair.”

  “But…”

  “No buts. We’re going outside for some fresh air. I need to see how close the guys are to finishing, anyway.”

  Lindsey allowed herself to be led downstairs and out of the house. Some of the horses had been turned out to the near pasture and were idly grazing. The last golden rays of the sun cast a warm glow over the landscape.

  She stood up on the fence rail and whistled to Jingo, who came trotting over obediently. She’d grabbed a carrot on her way out of the kitchen. She took it out of her pocket and held out her hand to the horse, palm open.

/>   Nick came up behind her as the horse was chomping his last bite.

  “You weren’t formally introduced the other day.” She laughed. “Nick, meet Jingo. Jingo, this is Nick. Be nice to him. He’s a very important person in my life. He’s keeping me safe.”

  “And maybe a little more than that.” His hard muscled arm slid around her waist, his lips close to her ear.

  She didn’t say anything in response, the memory of the phone call striking at her. Words were, after all, only words easily said.

  “I can see you need a refresher course.”

  Tilting her face up, he kissed her so hard she could feel the entire shape of his lips. His tongue twined with hers, then scorched the inside of her mouth. Despite her intentions she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him even closer.

  A sound at her elbow broke their concentration, and she turned her head to see Ruben standing there.

  “You two want to save that for later?”

  Lindsey blushed and Nick chuckled, but he dropped his hands.

  Ruben grinned. “It’s okay. I figured when you had me put both suitcases in one room that you weren’t up there playing cards. I just came to fetch you for supper.”

  “Thanks, Ruben. We’ll wash up and be right there.” Nick kissed Lindsey lightly on the nose before leading her back to the house.

  Over the meal, Nick gave them a progress report on the security installation. Then they discussed the results of their afternoon research with Ruben and Mary. Neither of the Medanas said much, just kept nodding their heads impassively.

  “But don’t you think this is something?” Lindsey asked anxiously. “Maybe if I can track some of these people down, it will give me a clue to who’s stalking me. Nick said it’s a good bet the answer is somewhere in my past.”

  “Those boxes are not your past, little one,” Ruben said. “They’re someone else’s past. You need to keep that in mind while you’re digging around in that stuff.”