by Desiree Holt
She shook her head. “Not today, not any day. I’ll accept your offer of the flight because I don’t seem to have a lot of choice, but I don’t want him on the plane. Just tell him to stay the hell away from me. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m very tired.”
The last thing she heard before she drifted off again was Reno saying, “Well, I tried, but somehow you’ve made a real mess out of this. I don’t know how you think you’re going to fix it.”
Chapter Nineteen
The flight was accomplished with a minimum of distress. The doctor gave Lindsey pain medication just before she was moved. The two nurses on the plane did their best to keep her comfortable once they had her in place. From the plane, they transferred her to an ambulance to ferry her to the hospital.
Dr. Edberg, bless him, was waiting for her as promised. He followed the orderlies as they whisked her to her room, waited while the nurses checked her vitals, then examined her himself.
“Well, Lindsey, you’ve had quite a bit of excitement.” He smiled down at her. “But you seem to have come through it well. Everything looks fine. We’ll run some more tests tomorrow just to make sure, but it all looks good to me. And of course, we’ll monitor your pregnancy carefully.”
“Yes, my pregnancy.” She closed her eyes, trying to shut out the pain of Nick’s voice. She had tried so hard to block out his words the past few days, but they seemed to echo over and over in her head. “I guess we both got fooled, didn’t we?”
“God has a way of taking over things when we least expect it,” he told her. “Have you told the father?”
“He has nothing to do with this.” Her voice was harsh and angry.
Edberg raised an eyebrow. “Well, he had a little something to do with it. I take it there will be no involvement?”
“You can bet on it.”
“Then it will be just you and me, Lindsey. We’ll do our best to bring a healthy baby into the world. While you’re here, I’ll also get a plastic surgeon in to look at that cheek. Right now, I think you need sleep more than anything.” He gave her a reassuring smile. “I’ll check on you tomorrow.”
She asked him to leave a No Visitors order except for Ruben or Mary, and he said he would.
They came, of course, fussed over her, and begged her forgiveness for hiding the truth for so long. But at least now a lot of questions were answered, like why the Ferrells had no relatives to interact with and why they never went anyplace outside Texas. And most especially why sometimes they looked so very, very sad.
Because even with the pregnancy, there was a sadness that hung over all of them, a sadness for the desperation her parents had felt, for the brother she’d never know, for the sister who was born with a madness that nearly destroyed all of them. But at the same time, joy for the child she carried, for the new life she could focus on.
Ruben, as implacable as always, asked no questions about Nick, nor did Lindsey mention him. Mary just pretended he’d never existed. The two of them constantly tried to cheer her up. Ruben even took a picture of Jingo and brought it to her room “to keep you company.”
Her office was closed, at least for the moment. Quinn had taken care of everything, calling all her active clients to let them know what happened, giving the prospective ones some other recommendations. Mark finished what he could and delivered plans and sketches to the appropriate people. There was a temporary outgoing message on her answering machine. The office might open again, but Quinn didn’t think it would be any time soon. He recommended Mark look for another position and promised him a letter of reference.
Lindsey had Quinn call Guardian several times to ask them to send a final bill. He reported Nick was a wreck and not dealing with life very well at the moment, and there would be no bill. Reno told him he had no intention of charging her anyway.
She spent most of her time thinking about the family she’d never known and wondering if there was someone still out there she could contact. Maybe her uncle existed someplace. When she got home, she’d go through everything again and do some Internet research of her own. It saddened her that her only living sibling, a sister she’d never known, had turned out to be a vicious killer who hated her. A bad seed, Nick said, and she had to agree he was at least right about that.
At night, she lay in bed trying to make sense of all that had happened. One minute she remembered the sweet words Nick had whispered to her, the intensity of their lovemaking, the tenderness he’d shown her, and wondered if she was wrong in her conclusions. The next minute she remembered the phone calls with Stacy and the hurtful words she’d overheard in the hospital, and the ache in her heart increased. Apparently, when he said they’d talk about the future, she thought it meant something different than he did.
She cried when she was alone, unwilling to subject herself again to Mary’s scrutiny and Ruben’s knowing gaze. The tears came hot and scalding, burning her cheeks, and she made no attempt to stop them. They were the first tears she’d shed since that awful night. She cried for what seemed forever, hoping it would ease the terrible tightness in her chest and the ache in her throat. But all it did was make her feel worse.
She was aware Nick had tried several times to see her, but she’d been firm in preventing that. Even Reno had tried to talk her into a conversation with him. She just couldn’t take the pain of knowing he was off with another woman. And that he’d lied to her. Okay, not lied, exactly, but maybe misled her.
At the end of another week, when she was able to move around for short periods of time, Dr. Edberg examined her, ran some tests, and was pleased with the results.
“You’ll have to take it very easy,” he cautioned. “But with the right care, I feel confident this will be a successful pregnancy. You can go home tomorrow. Make sure you have plenty of rest but move around for short periods each day. You need to build up your strength. And probably no work until we see how you’re progressing. I’ll have the office call you for an appointment in two weeks. I’ve given Mary all the instructions. You can also decide what you want to do about plastic surgery.”
“Nothing until after the baby is born.” She was emphatic. “If it leaves a scar, no big deal.”
She was more grateful to be home than she could have believed. She made it up the stairs slowly but under her own power, Ruben next to her for support. Mary got her settled in bed, then left to make her some tea.
Lindsey looked out the window at the meadow and the horses grazing peacefully. She remembered standing at the fence with Nick, sharing a quiet moment with him. And with that came the memories of their wild lovemaking, the heights to which he took her, the things he did to her body, the feel of him driving into her so powerfully. Out of that wildness, a child had been created, a child he obviously didn’t want.
Mary eyed her critically when she brought in the tea. “You’ll have to talk about it soon, little one, or it will eat you alive. Here. Drink this tea. Tonight, I’ll bring you a tray but tomorrow Ruben will help you downstairs for dinner. Doctor said you should make it downstairs at least once a day.”
She left the room, giving no opportunity for argument. Lindsey lay back on the pillows and sipped at the tea—peppermint, her favorite. But nothing was going to help the pain that consumed her.
Mary fielded all of Nick’s calls, reporting them to Lindsey but not saying anything else. Lindsey had been adamant about not talking to him. He sent flowers almost daily. Those she gave to Mary to keep at her house.
“That man’s going to drive me out of my mind,” Mary said, bringing up her lunch one afternoon. “You have to talk to him sooner or later.”
Lindsey just shook her head. She rested a lot and increased her physical movements a little each day. Mary cooked all her favorite foods. Ruben even spent time playing cards with her. But she couldn’t shake off the deep depression that gripped her. She lay awake at night, her hand gently touching her stomach, and tried to shut all thoughts of Nick Vanetta out of her mind.
Kate came nearly every day, cheerfu
l at first, keeping everything light. Finally, one day, when Lindsey made it downstairs and they were sitting on the porch, Kate turned to her with a determined look. “I’ve kept Quinn away because he’s like a bull in a china shop about this, but if you don’t listen to me, I will bring him out. Lindsey, I can’t begin to know what went wrong between you and Nick. I know he’s a mess. I’ve never seen him like this. There’s a man in love if ever there was one. And I think you feel the same about him. Whatever it is, you have got to talk to him.”
Lindsey shook her head. “Not in this life. You can forget that.”
“No, I’m not going to forget it. Whatever the trouble is, you have to get it out in the open. If it’s not fixable, then you’ll both have to come to terms with it. But this is stupid. You’re wilting away here, and don’t say you’re not. I see it every day with my own eyes. Quinn says Nick is a human train wreck. Please, Lindsey, just hear him out and tell him what’s on your mind. It’s not good for the baby for you to be so emotionally distraught. If nothing else you need closure.”
“I don’t believe Nick’s any kind of wreck,” she argued. “If he is, it’s because he’s out carousing with Stacy, or whatever her name is.”
“Stacy?” Kate had a curious look on her face. “What do you mean? What about Stacy?”
“You know, his latest toy? He didn’t even have the decency to tell her not to call while he was with me. And the night I got shot, he had the gall to have Reno run and make a phone call to her about their plans. That was one snatch of conversation I wish I hadn’t overheard.”
“Exactly what did you overhear? Tell me word for word.”
“What does it matter? Let it lie.”
But Kate was not to be denied. She pried every painful word from Lindsey, questioning her in great detail.
“And what else did you ‘overhear’ on your bed of pain, when you were supposed to be out of it?” Kate continued to look at her strangely.
“He doesn’t want the baby,” Lindsey said miserably. “It would probably cramp his style. He lied about everything, right down the line. This was all a game to him, just like with his other women. He saw it as a way to have unrestricted recreational sex.” She leaned her head back and closed her eyes. “I’m embarrassed enough about the whole thing as it is. Please, Kate, I don’t want to discuss it any more. There isn’t anything to say. I made a royal fool of myself, and I have to figure out how to get over it.”
“All right.” She sighed. “I have to pick up John, anyway. Quinn has him at the office, and I’m sure he’s destroyed it by now. I’ll see you tomorrow, honey.”
Lindsey had dozed off in the rocker, warmed by the sun and caressed by a soft breeze, when she heard the crunch of tires in the driveway. She opened her eyes in irritation, annoyed that someone else was disturbing her. Quinn climbed out of his big black pickup and strode to the porch.
“I’ve had all I can stand today,” she protested. “Please don’t you start in on me, too.”
He leaned his hips against the porch rail, crossed his booted legs at the ankles, folded his arms across his chest, and fixed her with a stare.
“Not today, Quinn. Please. I refuse to humiliate myself by breaking down into tears in front of you.”
“No, Lindsey, you don’t get out of it that easily. You might be able to push Kate away, but I’ve known you since grade school. I want the whole story, and I’m not leaving here until you tell me, so you might as well start talking.”
She wanted to push him over the rail and run into the house. Except he was bigger than she was and she wasn’t up to running away from anyone just yet. She certainly didn’t want to relive her misery one more time, but Quinn was relentless.
“Do you know you’d make a good prosecuting attorney,” she snapped at him in the middle of his diatribe.
“Yes. I used to be one, remember?”
He dragged every little fact from her, everything her mind wanted to block away. Finally, when she was done in from repeating everything on her mind, he looked hard at her again, then shook his head, a disgusted expression on his face. “Lindsey, I’ve known you since you had skinned knees and messy braids. You’ve done some dumb things in your life, but this one takes the cake.”
She opened her mouth but no words came. Finally, she managed, “Exactly what do you mean?”
“I mean that it’s a wonder you haven’t pulled every muscle in your body jumping to conclusions.” He stomped off down the stairs to his truck and climbed in.
“Quinn?” She wished she had the strength to run after him. “Wait, what did you mean? Quinn? Get back here!”
But he was already pulling onto the road, gravel spitting from beneath his tires. Lindsey leaned her head back and let the tears come again.
Late the following afternoon, when she was lying down on her bed, reading, tired from the emotional dredging of the previous day, Mary came in to tell her she had a visitor.
“You know I don’t want to see anyone. Whoever it is, tell them to go away.”
“I think she’d do it, but I was rude enough to follow her upstairs,” a strange female voice broke in. “Quinn said you’d probably kick me out, and I wasn’t taking any chances.”
The woman who walked into the room was lovely. Medium height with dark, almost black hair pulled back in a gold clip. A lush figure and black eyes that reflected shifting light. She was cool and sophisticated in peach silk slacks and a short-sleeved matching sweater that just set off her complexion. There was something very familiar about her, but Lindsey was sure they’d never met.
“Hello,” the woman said, coming over to the bed. “I thought it was time we met and straightened out what seems to be a colossal misunderstanding. I’m Stacy.”
Lindsey was simultaneously shocked and angry. How dare this woman march into her home? Why was she here? Did Nick send her for some strange perverted reason? What was this all about? If she’d had the strength, Lindsey would have gotten out of bed, slapped the woman, and shoved her out the door, but she was too weak to do anything but lie there and seethe.
“Stacy?” she asked, wishing she could disappear.
“Yes. Stacy Vanetta Morgan. I’m Nick’s sister.”
Lindsey was so astounded she couldn’t even take the hand extended toward her. Her brain was whirling, and her mouth didn’t seem to work.
“Never mind, you don’t have to say a word.” Stacy grinned. “I’ll do all the talking. May I sit down?” Without waiting for Lindsey to say yes, she sat on the edge of the lounge near the bed. “I can’t tell you how great it is to finally meet you. Nick hasn’t shut up about you since forever, it seems.”
“I don’t understand.” Lindsey stared at the woman, unable to get her brain out of first gear.
“When Quinn called yesterday, I told David, my husband, the only way to straighten this out was to come see you in person. Nick was wild to come with me, but I figured he’d make a mess out of everything like he’s apparently done already. Reno’s sitting on him until after we talk.”
“Reno?”
“Yes, I had to call him to find out what really happened in the hospital. He’s still as much at sea as everyone. I did get most of the conversation out of him, though. I apologize for coming so late today, but I couldn’t leave earlier and it’s about a ninety-minute drive from Austin where we live.”
“You drove all the way here from Austin?”
I sound like a dope. I need someone to write my lines for me.
“Oh, no problem. I drive all over the place. Now.” She crossed her legs and clasped her hands over one knee. “Let’s work backward here, shall we? I understand you overheard my calls to Nick. And then Nick asking Reno to call me when you were all at the hospital and somehow got the idea that I was his girlfriend. As you can see, I’m not. The call was to change arrangements he’d made, as he said. But the arrangements were for you.”
Lindsey frowned. “This is all brand new to me and a lot to take in.
“Our folks h
ave a big vacation place at Horseshoe Bend,” Stacy continued. “Nick wanted to bring you there after everything was over. He thought it would be a great place to get you away from it all and give you time to rest. He asked me to make all the plans and let the family know. We’re all really close, but Nick and I are twins so we’re probably closer than the others.”
Twins! Good Lord!
But that explained the familiarity she’d sensed. The resemblance was obvious.
“He never mentioned he was a twin,” Lindsey said in a weak voice.
“Yes, well, Nick isn’t always very good at communicating, which I guess is why we now have this problem. Anyway, we’ve all been dying to meet you.” She flashed a grin that was a duplicate of Nick’s.
Lindsey didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. “How nice,” she managed in a weak voice.
“No one ever thought Nick would settle down, so naturally everyone is curious about this fantastic woman he’s fallen for so completely. We figured, after he caught your stalker, we’d assault you with all the Vanettas at once. If you survived that, you were a keeper.” The grin disappeared. “But when you got shot, we obviously had to put that on hold.”
“Oh. I see.”
Lindsey didn’t know what else to say. She felt like a total and complete idiot. Why hadn’t she just asked Nick straight out who Stacy was, instead of letting her own insecurities back her into a corner? Because she didn’t want to hear him make excuses? Lie to her? Only it seemed it wouldn’t have been a lie.
But the baby…
“I have to tell you,” Stacy went on. “My brother is a mess. He hasn’t been to work. He went one day and was so miserable, Reno sent him home. He hasn’t eaten, which for Nick is like saying he hasn’t breathed. Mom finally went to his house and told him that, big as he was, she’d give him a good spanking if he didn’t shower and shave and put on some decent clothes.”
“But I don’t understand,” Lindsey said. “He’s the one who doesn’t want me, not the other way around. I heard him in the hospital.”
