She frowned at him. “You’re breaking protocol?”
“Yes,” he replied, trying not to notice the sweet blush filling her cheeks or the way the streetlight picked out the lighter strands of blonde in her hair. “We both know your place is secure. It’s better that I don’t walk you upstairs.”
Her frown increased. “Why?”
“Because I won’t stay outside your second door.”
Chapter Eight
Abby’s heart careened into her ribs. She wanted Cooper to enter the second door. Very much. But if she remained quiet, willing him to make that choice, chances were he’d be the upstanding, loyal military brother and walk away.
She was at a crossroads.
Did she deny her needs and refrain from interfering in what he deemed right?
Or did she speak up and voice what she knew they both wanted? Both needed?
A night in each other’s arms.
Voicing that thought in her head was enough to strengthen her backbone.
“Good,” she told him, still standing at the bottom of the stairs, hoping he’d close the two foot span separating them. “Because I’m inviting you upstairs with me, Cooper. I’m inviting you into my apartment. I’m inviting you into my bed.”
There, she’d said it. Voiced her needs. Her wants. Him in her bed. Right now, she was too needy to be embarrassed.
That was on tomorrow’s agenda.
“Abby…” Cooper closed his eyes, and she watched his jaw work a time or two, giving her Déjà vu of their second kiss. “Abby,” he said again, this time re-opening his eyes to stare at her with so much heat her body shook in anticipation. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
Wrong.
“Actually, Cooper, I know exactly what I’m saying,” she said, lifting her chin and holding his gaze. “For the first time in my life I’m speaking my mind. Stating my needs…what I want and not worrying that it might rock the boat or cause conflict. And do you know why?”
He shook his head.
“Because if I’ve learned anything these past two years, it’s that life is short. So short…” Her voice broke and tears blurred her eyes.
Darn it.
She was not going to cry in front of Cooper…at least not until she got this all off her chest and made sure he listened. “You can’t put things off. If you get the chance, by God, you have to take it. And hold onto it with both hands. You know?”
He nodded, but not from several feet away. He was standing right in front of her now, lifting a hand to brush away her tears with his knuckles. “I know.”
She reached up and cupped his face. “You do?”
“Yeah. I know,” he said, voice as soft as his gaze. “And I also know you’re not in your right mind right now, to be making such an incredible offer.”
Perhaps. But she was making it anyway. “I am sad today. I miss my best friend terribly, but don’t mistake my grief for naivety. I know what I’m doing. I know what I want. It’s you. I’ve always wanted you, Cooper. Ever since we first met at Rylee’s parents’ house almost five years ago.”
His gorgeous blue-gray eyes rounded. He removed his touch and blinked. “You have?”
She nodded. “Yes, but you were already engaged, so I kept it to myself, and even after that idiot Peyton broke up with you, I still kept it to myself because I would never try to come between a SEAL and his military brother. I’d never put that on you or Carter. Never.” She released him and shrugged. “Of course, none of that would’ve been an issue for you unless you felt the same.” And she had no idea if he had back then.
“Oh, I did,” he said, tripping her heart. “I’ve always been attracted to you, Abby. But as you said, Carter was my military brother and I never would’ve crossed that line.”
Would’ve…
He used past tense.
“You’re not active duty anymore,” she felt obligated to point out. “And with everything I’ve gone through this past year, I’ve decided not to fight how I feel. Not to keep quiet anymore.”
“And I can appreciate that,” he said. “Believe me, I know what an incredible gift your invitation is, and that you’re wasting it on me.”
Gift?
She blinked. “Um…I’m not exactly sure I understand what you’re saying.” She inhaled and blew out the breath, already mortified before she even spoke, “I might be reading into it wrong but either way, I think I should make it clear that I’m not a virgin.” Heat flushed her face as he stared at her, slack jawed. She wasn’t sure if it was because of what she’d said or that he’d believed she was a virgin. “I’m also not all that well-versed.” He remained quiet. “Okay, I’ve had one lover. That’s it, but I just wanted you to know I wasn’t offering you my virginity. And I have to admit I take offense to you putting yourself down.” She set a hand on his chest. “You are not a waste, Cooper Thompson. Not now. Never were. Never will be. Not to me. Got it?”
He shook his head. “You’re too good for me, Abby. Believe me.”
“No.” She shook her head now. “But I’m also not going to beg.” She removed her hand from his chest but continued to hold his gaze. “You know I want you. You also know I know you to want me back. You’re not active duty, so I’m not recognizing that brotherhood code anymore. I am not drunk. I only had a half glass of wine tonight. I am sad, but not out of my mind. I think that about sums it up, right?”
He nodded.
“So, I’m going to go upstairs now, Cooper. And I’d very much like for you to come up with me.” She watched indecision and need fighting for control in his gaze. “It’s up to you whether you shut this door in front of you or behind you. You know which one I’m rooting for. I’ll leave my apartment door open for five minutes. No hard feelings if you don’t show up. It’ll just mean you don’t want me as much as I want you.”
With nothing more to say, Abby turned and slowly walked up the stairs, praying he followed, listening for the creak in the stairs behind her. But none came. When she got to her door, her hand was shaking as she unlocked it. She punched in the code to deactivate her alarm, and her gaze blurred when she glanced down the landing toward the stairs and found them both empty.
Maybe she was wrong about him wanting her.
Maybe whatever was eating him about his worthiness was more ingrained and serious than she’d thought.
Maybe if she were curvier…no, she inhaled and stepped inside her apartment, leaving that old nightmare of a thought outside her door where it belonged.
There was nothing wrong with her. There was nothing wrong with Cooper, but he was the one who needed to come to that conclusion on his own.
Five minutes later, she set her hand on the door and started to push it shut, but a boot appeared in the doorway and blocked its path. Her heart rocked and her pulse raced when she pulled the door back and Cooper stepped fully inside and pressed her against the wall.
“Are you sure about this, Abby?” he asked, that indecision and heat still battling in his gaze while he brushed a thumb over her cheek.
“Yes,” she replied, running her palms up his chest. “Life is short, Cooper. We don’t know what tomorrow brings.”
His gaze darkened with heat blazing away his indecision. He looked different. Sure. Determined. He’d made up his mind. Her heart rocked against her ribs. Heaven help her, he’d made up his mind about her.
“I realized something tonight.” He brushed her lower lip with his thumb and stared expectantly at her like he was waiting for her to respond.
Abby wondered how he expected her to do that with her heart beating rapidly in her throat. Her hands shook as she ran them up to his shoulders. “What?”
“I’m supposed to be on this side of the door with you, Abby.” His voice and gaze were firm. Resolute.
She sucked in a breath and smiled. “Roger that. I’ve already wasted a lot of chances with you. I don’t want to waste tonight.”
“Then let’s stop wasting it,” he said before capturing her mouth in
a kiss unlike his others. Gone was the tentative touch of his lips and in its place was a determined, sure kiss, leaving her with no doubt of how much he hungered for her.
Abby moaned and melted into him, shoving her hands into his hair, kissing him back with the same craving overtaking her entire body. She was out of control. She had no idea what she was doing, her movements guided by her need for the man. She slipped her hands under his shirt and caressed his hot, hard flesh, stroking the indents of his ridges with her thumbs.
Lordy, she was out of her league. He was so big and virile and experienced, Abby hoped she wasn’t a disappointment after all her talk of wanting him.
By the time he lifted his head, she shook with enough desire and need to cancel out any misgivings. She was finally with Cooper. She was going to get naked and enjoy his incredible body, even if her good parts were woefully out of practice…and fairly inexperienced.
She dropped her hands to his hips as she dragged in air. “I’d like more of that, please.”
A devilish grin curved his lips. “Hold that thought. Let’s get to your room first.”
“It’s straight ahead, at the end of the hall.” She pointed, then gasped when he swept her off her feet and carried her past the spare bedroom and bathroom, through her living room and into her bedroom, flicking on the lights, before slowly lowering her feet to the floor. Since he took that direction so well, she thought she’d try another. “You should get naked.”
That devilish grin returned, and she watched, breath clogging her throat as he stepped back, shed his coat, and then used one hand to rid his magnificent body of his long-sleeved T-shirt. Her mouth watered at the play of muscles in his back, arms, and chest as he sat on her bed to untie and remove his boots and socks.
All Abby managed to do was remove her coat, kick off her shoes, and maybe drool a little. His hand moved to the waistband of his jeans, and at the sound of his descending zipper, she stopped breathing all together. A second later, he shucked his jeans and briefs in one swift move. She inhaled and tried not to swallow her tongue. Cooper Thompson stood naked and at attention before her.
Good glory, he was magnificent.
So much better than her fantasies.
Need propelled Abby forward and she ran her hands up his arms and muscled biceps, over his broad shoulders then caressed his solid chest, before stroking the dips and ridges of his abs like she had in the hall earlier.
“Delectable,” she murmured before leaning in to lick and nip his pecs.
His hands grasped her upper arms and his indrawn breath had her glancing up to find his gaze dark and smoldering. A rush of heat flooded low in her belly and she swayed against him.
“Abby,” he muttered, then released one of her arms to cup her face and brush her lower lip with his thumb. He must like that because he did it a lot, which was fine with her because she liked it a lot, too.
Unable to stop herself, she touched her tongue to his thumb and smiled at his second indrawn breath. Wasting no time, he took advantage of the opportunity, and captured her open mouth.
Gone were the remnants of restraint and reluctance. He’d left them behind when he crossed her threshold. A switch had been flipped. His mind was set. There was a delicious difference in his gaze and touch. He wanted her, and he wasn’t holding back.
Cooper’s lips demanded and gave and claimed hers with a passion that left her breathless and yearning for more. Normally, Abby’s utter lack of control would’ve shocked her, but not now. Not with this gorgeous, ripped SEAL rocking his hot, hard body against her while his tongue swept her mouth with a matching, delectable rhythm.
She was in Cooper rapture. The feel of his big, warm hand on her back, while the other one glided down her ribs to her waist, then back up to skim her breasts as if he needed to touch every inch of her, had her knees wobbling. She could only imagine the bliss if she were naked too. But he was, and she needed to touch him again. Wasting no time, she trailed her hands down his chest, stroking his abs on the way to the sexy v near his hips. He felt so damn good, her insides quivered.
He broke the kiss, dragging in air, and the corner of his mouth quirked. “I’ve dreamt of getting naked with you and having you in my arms for a while now.”
A surge of joy flooded her body. “Me, too. Why did we wait so long?”
That talented mouth of his was back on her body, kissing a path down her jaw to the curve of her neck, making it hard to concentrate on conversation. His hands didn’t help, either. Gripping her waist, his fingers slipped beneath her shirt to brush her skin, sending tiny tremors through her body.
“I was active duty.” A smile tugged his lips. “Plus, I foolishly thought I could ignore this attraction between us.”
She slid her palms over his shoulders and smiled. “You thought wrong.”
“Roger that.”
His hair was all tousled thanks to her roaming hands, and desire deepened the blue in his eyes, consuming the gray. Blue was fitting for a former SEAL. She’d never been with a military man. Never wanted to…except for Cooper.
His broken soul spoke to her. His smile, and genuine, caring heart grabbed her deep. The man made her feel good about herself, made her want to make him feel better, too.
As she continued to hold his gaze, Abby felt compelled to be honest with him. “I haven’t had sex in a while.”
A dark emotion blazed in his eyes. “Define a while.”
“Four years,” she replied, and heat rushed into her face, making her embarrassment complete.
His gaze softened and filled with an unwavering warmth. “It’s okay.”
She trembled. “I just don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Abby,” he said, brushing her cheek with the back of his knuckles. “You could never disappoint me.”
She kissed his fingers. “You’re the only one who makes me feel…everything. Makes me want to do things.” Made her ache and crave more.
His eyes were dark. Very dark. “You make me want to do things, too. Things that’ll make you cry out and beg for more.”
Before her pulse had a chance to react to his sexy words, he picked her up and carried her to the bed. Her heart knocked hard against her ribs and tried to settle back down in her chest, but it was beating too fast. This was really happening. Her whole body sparked to life.
He set her on the mattress and dipped down to meet her gaze. “It’s going to be good between us, Abby. I promise.”
Her ribs endured another pounding from her out-of-control heartbeat. “Roger that.”
That brought a twitch to his lips as he unfastened her jeans and tugged them off with an ease that took her breath. He leaned down to kiss the lace on her blue bikini panties. “Navy…my favorite color,” he said, before removing them with more of that magical ease. “So beautiful.” He kissed one hip then the other then low on her belly before he grasped her upper arms and slowly pulled them to their feet.
He was close. So deliciously close she only had to lean forward just a hair and their lips would touch. But she held back, eager to see what he had planned. Because, judging by the determined gleam in his eyes, the man most definitely had a plan.
And given his penchant of being thorough, she suspected she was in for a memorable night.
His gaze dropped to her mouth, and she shook with an anticipation that raced to all her neglected parts. Her favorite ones that had been dormant for too long. He held her against his hard chest with an easy strength that had butterflies fluttering in her stomach. Yet, still he continued to gaze at her mouth, his jaw flexing as if it were an effort to hold back.
“Feel that?”
Oh, yeah. Her body was buzzing. She felt so much it was hard to form words. She nodded and slid her hands over his broad shoulders to cup the back of his head. Pressed up against his rock-hard body, she let out a small, needy sound as desire shot to those neglected parts.
“Feels…amazing.”
“Damn amazing.” He reached for the bottom of her shirt an
d she weathered the dip in her pulse as the moment of truth arrived.
Cooper pulled her shirt over her head and let it drop to the floor, and leaned in close to kiss the swell of her breast just above her bra. “Gorgeous,” he muttered against her skin as he reached around and unhooked her navy bra.
He stepped back and her bra slid off, leaving her naked to his roving gaze. Her heart pounded so loudly she could barely hear his appreciative groan. And it was appreciative, because his gaze was full of heat and need and it went a long way to easing some of her self-doubt.
“God, Abby, you’re so beautiful.”
She swallowed. “I’m not too…you know…small chested?”
His head reeled back, and he blinked. “Hell, no.” His brow furrowed as he met her gaze. “Who the hell ever told you that? Your ex?”
“No.” She shook her head. Drew had never complained about her body. In fact, he’d always seemed to enjoy it. “It’s just…me. I know I’m not all that curvy.”
“Abby, you’re trim, and fit, and beautifully proportioned,” he said, bewilderment clouding his gaze. “Don’t ever think negative about yourself. You have plenty of curves. Give me your hands.” He grabbed them and glided them from her ribs to her hips. “See how you go in? That’s a gorgeous curve.”
Okay, yeah, he was right. Her hips did swell out. “But my boobs are small.”
Shut up, Abby. Why in the world was she talking?
“No, they’re not. Look.” He turned her around to face the mirror on her wall and pushed her hair behind her back. “See how big my hand is? Watch.” He cupped her breast, and it was crazy hard to concentrate on what he was saying because it felt so darn good. “You fill it completely, Abby. You’re not small. You’re perfect.”
“But…Mel and Stef and Rylee—”
“Aren’t you,” he said, finishing her sentence, reaching around with his other hand to cup her neglected breast. “See? Completely full. You’re perfect,” he repeated, and she watched, mesmerized by their reflection, his body so big and hard, a glorious contrast to her soft…curves.
She was curvy.
Cooper (HC Heroes Series Book 5) Page 10
