by Linda Turner
“I think you need to see a doctor,” he told her. “Today.”
“No!”
The panic was back in her eyes, and she looked ready to bolt.
Moving to reassure her, he said quickly, “I’m not talking about going to a hospital or anything like that. Just to a friend. Grant Alexander. I know you. don’t remember him, but he was best man at our wedding, and he’s a damn good internist. All I have to do is give him a call and he’ll fit you in this morning.”
“But I don’t have any clothes—”
“There are some things in the closet in the bedroom,” he cut in, his mouth flattening as he thought of the things she’d left behind in her haste to leave. “Why don’t you get dressed while I give Grant a call?”
She didn’t want to—he could see the doubts clearly in her eyes—but she couldn’t seem to come up with another excuse. Nodding reluctantly, she headed for the bedroom.
“What do you mean, you woke up and she was in bed with you?” Grant demanded the second Joe called him and told him Annie was back. “Just like that? After she disappeared for months?”
“I always knew where she was, Grant. She called me the day after she left and gave me the address of the apartment she’d rented,” Joe reminded him. “And Phoebe kept in touch.” In fact, if it hadn’t been for Annie’s best friend and partner in the real estate office they ran together, he wouldn’t have known if his wife was alive or dead.
“But Annie was the one who should have been talking to you. Not that I’m criticizing,” he added quickly. “You know I’m crazy about her, buddy. I think you two were made for each other—I just don’t know how you kept from going after her. I know, I know—you promised her you wouldn’t, but I’d have been over there ten minutes after she told you where she was. So is she back for good or what?”
“I wish to God I knew,” Joe said flatly. “There’s a problem. I think she’s got amnesia.”
“Yeah, right. Tell me another one.”
“I’m serious, Grant.” He told him everything then, from the second he’d awakened to find her naked in his bed to the moment he found her bloody clothes on the bathroom floor. “I’m telling you, something’s seriously wrong. She didn’t even remember her name until I told her what it was.”
“That sounds pretty damn convenient, don’t you think?”
Joe stared at the locked bathroom door that Annie was hiding behind and had to admit that there was a cynical side of him that had wondered the same thing. But the look of panic on her face when she’d looked at their wedding picture was something that would go with him to his grave. Not even an Academy Award-winning actress could fake that kind of fear.
“You wouldn’t ask that if you could see her,” he said. “She’s got some nasty bruises on her. In fact, she’s banged up pretty bad. I don’t know if she’s been in an accident or car wreck or what, but every time I get anywhere near her, she starts shaking like a leaf.”
“Then what was she doing in bed with you this morning?”
“To tell you the truth, I don’t even think she knew I was there. And I was dead to the world. It seems like I’ve been putting in twenty-hour days ever since she left, and last night I guess it just caught up with me. I never heard her come in. Then, this morning, she woke up screaming. I’m telling you, Grant, she’s really got me worried.”
He didn’t ask his friend if he could take a look at her, but he didn’t have to. All business, he said, “I’ll meet you at the office within the hour.”
“We’ll be there,” Joe said with a quiet sigh of relief. “Thanks, pal. I owe you one.”
Dressed in a faded yellow blouse and old jeans that apparently should have been familiar to her but weren’t, Annie followed the grim-faced, enigmatic man who claimed to be her husband into the parking garage where he kept his car. He, too, had changed, and looked much less threatening in black slacks and a white shirt than he had naked. Still, as she walked from the sunny street into the darkened interior of the garage, she felt as if someone had stepped on her grave. Shivering, she stopped cold, unable to make herself go any farther.
Don’t be a ninny, an irritated voice muttered in her head. You can do this.
She had to. Her past, her very identity, had somehow been stolen from her, and the cold black hole in her memory scared her to death. She didn’t know who she was or what she was, and if she was ever going to find out, she had to go with him to his doctor friend and find out what was wrong with her.
But when Joe stopped next to a green Regal that was apparently his, then unlocked and opened the passenger door for her, a soul-destroying fear came out of nowhere to clutch her by the throat. “No!” she said hoarsely. “I can’t do it!”
Surprised, Joe glanced over his shoulder to find that she’d stopped six feet back. “Can’t do what? You said you’d go to the doctor.”
“I know. I’m sorry. I thought I could, but I can’t.” Her gaze slipped from him to the car, and right before his eyes, she turned a sickly shade of green. “I can’t,” she choked. “I can’t get in that car with you.”
A muscle bunched in his jaw. “So it’s me.”
“No. Yes! I don’t know!” she cried.
In the dark, quiet shadows that surrounded them, she thought she heard him swear, but she couldn’t be sure. He was so quick at hiding what he was thinking—she couldn’t read his eyes at all. Was he going to insist she get in his car? The coppery taste of fear pooled on her tongue. What if he tried to force her? Was he the type of man who would do that? God, why couldn’t she remember?
Frustrated, furious with herself for not remembering, she knew she’d fight him if he so much as laid a finger on her. But the struggle she braced for never materialized. Instead, even as she watched, the tension slowly drained out of him. “Okay,” he sighed, “if you can’t, you can’t. It’s no big deal. The important thing is to get you to the doctor. Would you feel more comfortable if I called a cab? I’ll follow you in my car,” he quickly assured her, “so you don’t have to worry about anyone crowding you. How’s that sound?”
Grateful, she nodded stiffly. “I think that might be better.”
Joe had the foresight to request a woman driver when he called for a cab, and forty minutes later they reached the medical complex Grant Alexander shared with five other doctors. His office was on the second floor, and Joe gently nudged Annie in the direction of the stairs without sparing a glance at the elevator. If she panicked at the thought of getting in a car with him, he didn’t even want to think about what she would do if he followed her into the close confines of an elevator.
The reception area was fairly crowded, but they didn’t have to wait. Within seconds, they were shown into Grant’s private office, and moments later, the doctor himself was rushing in. As tall as Joe, but stockier, with Ivy League good looks, he greeted Joe, then turned to Annie, his sharp, intelligent eyes narrowing slightly at the sight of her battered face.
“Hello, Annie,” he said. “It’s been a while. How are you?”
He didn’t rush her, didn’t try to touch her or do anything that would spook her. Relieved, Annie smiled weakly. “I’d like to think I’ve been better, but I can’t be sure of that. I’m sorry. I know I should know you, but I don’t.”
“There’s no need to apologize,” he said easily. “You look like you’ve had a rough time of it lately.”
She shrugged, unable to tell him any more than she’d been able to tell Joe. “I guess so. I don’t remember.”
“Anything?”
Mutely, she shook her head. His gaze, missing nothing, traveled over the vivid bruises that marred her tender skin. Frowning, he said, “Let me get my nurse to show you into an examining room, and I’ll see if I can find out what the problem is. Okay?”
Logically, she knew she had no reason to fear him. He was a friend of Joe’s and a doctor, no less. Still, her heart lurched with a panic that was becoming all too familiar. “Your nurse will be there?” she blurted, before she could
stop herself.
Surprised, he couldn’t miss her sudden wariness or the defensive way she wrapped her arms around herself. Exchanging a look with Joe, he nodded. “She’ll be right there the entire time. Even then, if you feel uncomfortable or scared at any time, I want you to tell me. Would you feel more at ease if Joe sat in on the exam?”
Her eyes flew to Joe’s, the pounding of her heart turning erratic. It wasn’t a completely unexpected question. Although she still found it hard to believe that the dark, silent man at her side was her husband, he apparently had been for some time and it was perfectly natural for the doctor to assume that she would feel safer with him at her side.
Nothing, however, could have been further from the truth. She had no reason to believe that he’d hurt her, but there was something about him that made her knees weak and her pulse jump. Something that made her want to trust him, yet run from him at one and the same time. And God help her, she didn’t know why.
“N-no, that’s not necessary,” she said shakily, and missed the sudden tightening of her husband’s granite jaw as she forced herself to drop her arms from around herself. “I know I’m being paranoid, but I can’t seem to help it. I feel like someone dropped me into an episode of ”The Twilight Zone’ when my back was turned. Nothing makes sense.”
“So you remember ‘The Twilight Zone,’” Grant said with a smile as he opened the door at his nurse’s knock. “That’s a start, anyway. Let’s go take a look at you, then see what else you remember.”
It didn’t take Annie long to discover why Grant Alexander’s waiting room was full. He was a kind man with a gentle touch who took the time to talk to his patients. He didn’t rush her into the exam once his nurse had helped her change into a gown, telling her instead about his friendship with Joe and the wild times they had had together over the years. He made her laugh…and relax. Then the examination started.
Because she didn’t know exactly what had happened to her, Grant recommended a complete physical, and she endured it as best she could. But it wasn’t easy. Dressed in a gown that tied in the back, she felt horribly naked and vulnerable. She tried to convince herself that there was no reason to tense up, but the knotting muscles of her stomach didn’t seem to get the message. When he touched her, it took all her self-control not to cringe.
She thought she’d hidden her distaste for the whole procedure pretty well, but when he finished the pelvic exam and his nurse helped her sit up, she quickly discovered she wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all him. Taking a step back, he gave her some space and said quietly, “You don’t have to hide what you’re feeling, Annie. It’s okay to be scared.”
Flushed, she looked away. “And I thought I was hiding it so well. How’d you know?”
“Your breath catches in your throat every time I start to touch you.” His gray eyes discerning, he examined the bruises on her face. “Why do you think that is?” he asked. “Because you don’t remember me, or because I’m a man and some man hurt you?”
She wanted to say that it was because he was a stranger, but everyone she’d encountered today—from her husband to the taxi driver to Grant and his nurse—were strangers. It was only the men who sent fear backing up in her throat.
“I d-don’t know,” she stuttered. “Just the thought of being touched by a man—any man—makes me… I can’t explain it…. I just—” Unable to find the words, she shrugged, tears welling in her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she choked. “This is so stupid!”
He handed her a tissue, his eyes kind as they met hers. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve obviously suffered some kind of a trauma. You have a bruise on your temple, but no concussion, so I don’t think it’s a head injury that’s causing your amnesia.” Patting her hand, he pulled up a stool and sat. “Tell me what you do remember.”
Despite his full waiting room, he looked as if he was prepared to hear her life story—if she could recall it, but in the end, there was nothing to tell. She had a vague memory of taking a shower the previous night, then going to bed. Before that, her mind was a blank.
“What about last week? Last year? Your childhood? Where did you go to high school?”
She couldn’t tell him how many brothers or sisters she had, her favorite color, if her parents were even alive. Nothing. For all practical purposes, her mind was as empty as a newborn baby’s. Except for the fear that had lingered there like a black shadow ever since she looked in the mirror, saw a stranger’s face, and realized that something terrible must have happened to her.
Suddenly cold all the way to the bone, she asked bluntly, “Was I raped?”
He opened his mouth, then hesitated, and she went pale. “Oh, God!”
“No, no,” he said quickly, swearing. “There’s no evidence that you were molested recently—”
“Recently?”
Cursing himself, he nodded for his nurse to leave them alone. As soon as the door shut, he turned back to her. “Annie, I think Joe should be in on this conversation.”
“If I wasn’t raped, then something else must be wrong. What is it?”
“Annie—”
“Tell me!”
“You’re pregnant, okay? Dammit, you’re pregnant!”
The news hit her hard, like a freight train that came out of nowhere. Pregnant, she thought, dazed. She was pregnant, and her husband’s best friend was waiting expectantly for a response from her. Hysterical laughter threatened to choke her. How was she supposed to know how to react when she didn’t remember anything? Had she planned this pregnancy? Did she even want a baby? How would Joe, a husband she didn’t know, feel about becoming a father?
Instinctively, her hand slid down to the faint bulge of her stomach. “When?”
“I was hoping you could tell me that. You don’t remember getting pregnant?”
Something in his tone warned her that the question was a loaded one. “No,” she said cautiously, “but Joe should. Shouldn’t he?”
He winced, then quietly dropped the bomb she unconsciously braced for. “It’s hard to pinpoint how far along you are since you’re barely showing and you can’t remember when you had your last period. And Joe might not be much help. You left him two months ago, and he hasn’t seen you since. Which means the baby might or might not be his.”
Each word hit her like a blow, sucking the air from her lungs. Stunned, she heard a roaring in her ears and realized it must be the rush of her blood. This couldn’t be happening, she thought. It was all just some horrible nightmare that would be over any second.
But the sympathy in his gray eyes was too real, the regret he couldn’t hide too personal, and she knew he wouldn’t lie to her. Not about something like this.
“Oh, God,” she whispered, “he didn’t tell me. I woke up screaming in his bed and he never once told me that I had no right to be there. Why? Why didn’t he tell me?”
“I can’t speak for him,” Grant said, “but my guess is that there wasn’t time. You were hysterical and scared to death of him, and getting you to a doctor was more important than giving you a play-by-play of your marriage. He’s a good man, Annie. Seeing you like this couldn’t have been easy for him.”
“But I left him. Why?”
“That’s something you’ll have to discuss with him,” he said, patting her hand as he pushed to his feet. “Why don’t you get dressed now, then come back to my office when you’re ready? I’m going to talk to Joe, then see about getting you in to see someone else about your amnesia.”
He left before she could call him back, shutting the door quietly behind him. Alone with the questions that stumbled around in her head in search of answers that weren’t there, Annie didn’t move for a long time. What kind of woman could be pregnant and not know who the father of her baby was? Dear God, what had she done?
Restless, Joe prowled around Grant’s office like a man who had just missed the last bus out of town. What the hell was taking so long? Had Grant found something? Something serious? Dammit, he should have insisted on
sitting in on the examination! Whether she remembered it or not, Annie was still his wife, and he had a right to know if something was seriously wrong with her.
The door behind him opened then, and he whirled to see Grant step across the threshold, his aristocratic face set in grim lines. “What is it?” he asked sharply. “And don’t try to put me off by claiming nothing’s wrong,” he warned his friend tersely. “I can see by your face there’s a problem.”
“Not one I was expecting,” Grant retorted somberly, as he moved to the tufted leather chair behind his desk and sank into it. “Sit down, Joe. We need to talk, and I don’t think you’re going to like what I have to say.”
He didn’t want to sit, but something in his friend’s expression had him reaching for a chair. “I don’t see how it could be any worse than what I’ve been imagining for the last thirty minutes, so just lay it on the line. I can take it.”
From the hard, searching look Grant gave him, it was obvious that he wasn’t so sure of that, but he finally nodded. “First off, I could find no physical cause of Annie’s amnesia, so I’ve got to believe that it’s a result of some trauma she suffered and doesn’t want to remember. She’s terrified of men, and while I was examining her, she voiced a fear that she’d been raped. She wasn’t,” he said quickly, when Joe seemed to turn to stone. “But deep down in her subconscious, she was aware of the possibility that she could have been. I think it’s safe to say she was attacked.”
Joe had come to the same conclusion, but hearing his own fears put into words turned his stomach. A muscle jumped along his tight jaw. “That might explain why she refused to remember what happened to her, but why would she block out the rest of her memory?”
“The mind is a funny thing,” Grant replied, “and we’re a long way from understanding it. Just to be sure, I’d like you to take her to Preston Ziggler for a second opinion. Amnesia is not something you run into every day of the week, and he’s had more experience with it than anyone else in the city. I’ll give him a call and see if he can fit her in sometime this afternoon.”
