by Emma Dean
Selene gave Claire that polite smile she gave everyone, kissing each cheek before she moved on to Mika. Kenzie didn’t even bother with Claire. “How are you, cousin?” Kenzie asked, giving her a hug instead. “Nice watch by the way.”
“It’s very chic and goes well with your dress,” Selene agreed, kissing Mika’s cheeks as she held her hands. “May the Fates guide Helen to calmer shores.”
Claire glowered but didn’t say anything.
“Who’s this?” Kenzie asked, as if she didn’t know.
“Corbin,” Mika said. “My boyfriend.”
Kenzie snickered. “Of course he is.”
Then Hunter and Finnick and Ash were there and taking up so much space she felt like she could barely breathe. Finnick and Ash were arguing about letting Chuck drive their new car while Hunter simply stared at her. He had texted her the day before saying he couldn’t make their usual lesson time.
Mika wondered why, but she honestly didn’t expect him to explain.
“Hey,” Finnick said. He stopped arguing with Ash long enough to give her a hug. “Tell Audrey we’ll be at the next game. Or at least, Ash and I will.”
“I will,” Mika said, hugging Ash next.
Despite how chaotic they were, she kind of missed them.
Hunter stopped in front of her, but he didn’t make a move to hug her. Well, she’d missed all of them except him and his brutal lessons. “What would your grandmother say about Corbin?” Hunter asked, tilting his head slightly.
Mika gave him a vicious grin. “She’d probably say it seems fitting, given the circumstances.”
Hunter nodded. He’d assumed her grandmother had known something as the matriarch, but they couldn’t talk about it with Corbin standing right behind her—not when she hadn’t won him to her side yet.
The alpha fox leaned in to peck the air above her cheek. “I’m sorry about your grandmother, after everything.”
For the first time since she’d died, Mika felt that painful twinge in her chest, and her eyes stung as a lump in her throat choked her.
It wasn’t because her grandmother had died per se, but because of everything that had led up to this moment.
The betrayal of her father and brother, her mother’s heartbreak that had resulted in her death. She’d just given up, and that had broken her grandmother – the strongest person Mika knew. Well, aside from Selene and Audrey.
Edith Kavanagh was next and Mika suddenly felt nervous. She didn’t give a shit what the rest of high society thought, but Edith had always been…something else. She was the only one who’d looked out for Kenzie – in her own way.
The older witch kissed each of Claire’s cheeks and then Mika’s. They’d never really talked, but Mika had always gotten the sense that if something terrible happened she could go to Edith Kavanagh for help.
Maybe she should have gone to her instead of Claire.
Edith murmured condolences before moving on with the rest of her family and Mika breathed a quiet sigh of relief. She respected the hell out of that woman, and despite her ridiculous get up, there hadn’t been a single drop of disappointment on Edith’s face.
“Mika.”
Her heart clenched and Mika felt sick to her stomach as that familiar voice washed over her. She turned to Matthew and drank in the sight of him despite how much it hurt. He had always been beautiful.
Matthew had black hair and blue eyes that always made her think he looked like some kind of fairy tale prince. The last few years had been good for him. He’d really filled out that lanky body of his, shoulders broader with muscles, and she hadn’t thought it was possible, but it seemed like he’d grown another few inches as well.
It took everything she had not to reach for him, not to kiss him like she had a thousand times before. Matthew had once been the person who knew her better than anyone. Now it was like looking at a stranger.
“Thank you for coming,” Mika finally said, keeping her voice as polite as possible. “It means a lot to me and my clan.”
Claire greeted his parents and Mika ignored the sideways glances from all of them.
Something in Matthew’s eyes died a little at her polite tone, but Mika didn’t know what he could possibly have expected to come of this. It had been almost three years since they’d last talked.
“I’m sorry,” Matthew said quietly, placing his hands gently on her shoulders so he could lean in and brush a gentle kiss against her cheek. “For everything.”
Mika blinked back tears as he headed into the dining room.
She couldn’t do this anymore.
Without saying a word she turned on her heel and headed for the study. There shouldn’t be staff or guests there. All she needed was a moment—just one, to gather herself. Fates, she hadn’t expected this to be so hard.
Her heels clicked against the hardwood floor and Mika took a deep breath, emotions roiling, magic churning. The doors to the study were closed but she slipped inside, the raven nowhere to be found.
Walking off the energy helped more than throwing herself on the couch to cry would. Mika trailed her fingers over the spines of the books and walked toward the large bay windows. She could see the driveway from there and all the cars still arriving.
Claire was matriarch. She could handle greeting the rest of the guests. Mika would be back before things got started. And this way her sister didn’t have to deal with such an embarrassment for a sibling.
“Hey,” Matthew said, ducking into the study and closing the door behind him. “I thought I’d find you here.”
Sixteen years together and Mika supposed some things never changed. This had always been one of her favorite refuges.
“Can I help you?” Mika asked, wishing for the first time since he’d been thrust into her life that Corbin was there. Without him it felt like there was nothing between her and Matthew – nothing preventing the conversation she’d been putting off for three years.
“I wish you wouldn’t do that,” Matthew told her, taking a step forward. He stopped when she took a step back and clasped his hands behind his back.
It was a pose he used to appear non-threatening. And it usually worked, but it looked like his time at the military academy had really stuck with him because all it did was make him look fearsome thanks to the new muscles and the sure way he held himself.
“I’m sorry they sent you away,” Mika finally said, reaching for the rubies at her throat. “Seemed like an overreaction.”
“You never told me what happened,” Matthew said softly. “You never explained to me why.”
Everyone thought she had cheated on him, and still, he wasn’t angry at her. Mika’s heart ached and those tears stinging her eyes threatened to spill over. She clenched her hand around the largest ruby, wishing she could just tell him.
It wouldn’t make a difference if she did though. It wouldn’t magically bring back their engagement, and all it would do was make him feel helpless and angry.
“What do you want me to say?” Mika whispered. “I was weak.” A lie within a truth. She knew how it would sound, when in actuality she’d just been too physically weak to knock Brad out.
Perhaps if she’d had the training Corbin had offered earlier she could have prevented what had happened. But it was useless to wish she could change the past. The only thing she could do was make sure her future was what she wanted it to be.
“Things just don’t add up,” Matthew insisted. “I spent every hour of every day with you. I know for a fact there was no one else.”
This time she held her ground when he stepped forward, and Mika hated herself for letting him reach out and take her hand. Her magic didn’t rise up and attack him despite their skin to skin contact.
Even if they could get back together, she wasn’t the same person anymore.
But she missed him. She still loved him, and Mika had hated every day of the last three years she couldn’t spend with him. They’d sent him away to a human school not long after their engagement had been
broken.
No chance for her to talk to him, to explain, to try and connect to the one person who might have been able to help her with what had happened. Matthew had never been one to jump to conclusions.
Which was why he was so perfect – why Mika couldn’t drag him into her world now.
Would Matthew be able to survive assassins and hellhounds and blood magic?
“There was no one else,” Mika finally admitted, looking up into those gorgeous blue eyes. It hurt how much they reminded her of the life she’d had before.
Mika let go of his hand and reached up to run her fingers along that chiseled cheekbone. “But it doesn’t matter now.” Her hand dropped back to her side and she had to look away so she didn’t have to see the devastation she’d wrought.
“I’m going to find out what happened,” Matthew promised her. “Yours wasn’t the only life destroyed.”
She knew he was right, and that he deserved more—he deserved better. “We’re going to be late.”
Matthew didn’t sigh. His body language didn’t broadcast his irritation and anger. Mika knew he wasn’t angry at all thanks to the short lifetime they’d had together – it was honestly more than most got. No, Matthew was determined, which was a dangerous thing.
“Hey,” she said, reaching out for his hand as he turned. “Don’t go and try to be my knight in shining armor. You hear me?” It could get you killed.
Matthew didn’t respond though, just like she knew he wouldn’t. He brought her hand up and brushed his lips against her knuckles. “This look suits you. You always were a savage beauty.”
And just like that Matthew wrecked her all over again.
13
Her grandmother’s ashes were buried next to her mother’s. Mika planted an avocado tree over Helen Marshall. Her bones would fertilize the soil and help the tree to grow big and strong, adding to their grove.
The ritual and prayers had been second nature, still so familiar after her mother’s death.
Mika didn’t care that she’d gotten dirt on her dress or that she was barefoot under the gown, removing her heels before heading outside. She didn’t even care that most of the people she actually liked had shown up to pay their respects.
What she cared about was all the drama that was churning under the surface, ready to blow.
She’d stayed home for the weekend and spent all Sunday going through her grandmother’s suite with Corbin as a silent shadow beside her. Something about Matthew had upset him, but she couldn’t figure out what.
Not that he would ever admit to feeling anything as mundane as being upset.
Mika was starting to get the feeling that Corbin was lying to her. She was starting to doubt that he’d truly shut off all his emotions. But she honestly didn’t know enough about him or ravens to say for sure.
Sunday had been long and arduous. There had been no words between her and Corbin, just like before, but this time he wasn’t trying to rile her up into saying something. He just watched her work, moving the heavy items without her having to even ask him.
Anything and everything that she thought might have something to do with being a blood witch, Mika had set aside. She’d emptied out the armoire and gone through every single thing in her grandmother’s suite under Corbin’s watchful eye.
After stripping the room down to its bare bones, Mika had sent everything she could to be donated. The irreplaceable, valuable items like couture or vintage went up to her room. Now her sister could do whatever she wanted with her grandmother’s suite, even take it for herself.
The stuff she kept…well, Mika had a lot to go through. But it wasn’t the clothes and the jewels she was really worried about. She’d selected all the rubies and put them in a secure traveling case to take back to Morgana with her.
Any books were packed up, and the rest of the jewels had gone into a safety deposit box at the bank. Mika hated even thinking the thought, but she couldn’t trust her sister. Not until Mika knew everything the Marshall clan knew about blood witches and the Morrigan.
And even then…
Part of her hated keeping the secret from Claire, but the other part of her – the saner and rational part – knew Claire would shun her for using blood magic. It was too taboo among high society witches. Not even Selene and Kenzie advertised the fact that they used blood charms.
Not only all that, but there was a bitter part of her deep down that wanted to keep this secret from Claire as punishment for ripping her life apart. She’d trusted her to keep things from getting out and instead she’d told their mother who was too old fashioned to keep the information to herself.
Mika adored her mother and would never forget the time spent with her in the greenhouse, but telling Matthew’s family she was no longer a virgin had been difficult to swallow – if technically the honorable thing to do.
She had never had the chance to tell Matthew herself, and letting him believe a lie had somehow seemed easier.
Claire was waiting for her downstairs when Mika was finally done packing up. “Will you be visiting again before the end of the semester?” The words were stiff and ice cold.
Mika just barely resisted rolling her eyes. “We only have a few weeks left. I doubt with the dodgeball practices and games, and then finals, that I’ll have time.”
It was infuriating that her sister looked relieved. “I’ll deposit your half of the money from the cars when I get it,” Claire told her. “If you need anything else while you’re at university let me know.”
Was their relationship irreparable? Mika studied her sister and wondered if they’d ever really had a relationship to begin with, or if that had all been wishful thinking on her part after seeing how close Kenzie and Selene were while growing up.
“I did actually want to ask you one thing before I go,” Mika said carefully, letting Chuck take her bags.
Corbin didn’t leave her side, but he didn’t say a word either. He’d been silent all day and it was slightly disconcerting. But Mika didn’t have the guts to ask him why when she had so much of her own shit to deal with.
“Yeah, what is it?” Claire asked, adjusting her pearl bracelet slightly.
Mika narrowed her eyes. Her sister was nervous of her. When had that happened?
“Ryan told me he was a friend of yours.”
Claire’s eyes widened, clearly surprised by the direction the conversation had taken. “Yes, we were really close while I was at university.”
“Did you date?” Mika asked, hating that she had to dig for any details at all.
Her sister laughed like it was the most ridiculous thing she’d ever heard. “No, Ryan is a human born witch. But he is one of the best friends I’ve ever had. We still talk actually.”
Well, Mika could already see a few motives rising from that statement alone. “What’s he into?”
It was Claire’s turn to narrow her eyes. “Are you going to ask him out, little sister?”
Was Claire jealous, or was she going to try and force Mika into a high society marriage? The only person who Mika might even remotely consider was Matthew and that was so far from possible it wasn’t even funny.
“He gives me weird vibes,” Mika told her, telling the truth this time. “And he mentioned you, so I wanted to see what you knew about him.”
Corbin took a step closer to her.
Her sister wrung her hands and shook her head. “In our fourth year he lost his girlfriend to an experiment. He’s been trying to find her ever since – which I’m sure is why he’s studying Interdimensional Physics at a Master level.”
Mika considered that information. “That sucks. I hope he finds her.” She turned and slung the bag of jewels over her shoulder as she headed toward the front door where Chuck was waiting in the family car outside and ready to go. “See you in a few weeks, sis.”
Claire didn’t even bother with words of goodbye.
Opening an umbrella, Corbin held it above them both and Mika almost thanked him, but then decided against it
.
She needed to talk to him, but what was there really left to say? Corbin hadn’t made up his mind yet, and thanks to her personal drama she hadn’t had the focus to push what little ground she’d gained with him further.
Until Corbin decided what to do with her, she was stuck doing what she could under the watchful eye of the Council. Mika just hoped Audrey, Lucien, and Ethan were making better progress than she was.
“How did it go?” Audrey asked as she took a massive bite of the artisan pizza Mika had brought back with her.
“As well as could be expected,” Mika said with a shrug, sipping on her Boba. “Claire pissed me off, so I pissed her off and the entire time there were the foxes in the background taking bets on who would lose it first. During my grandmother’s eulogy by the way.”
Audrey snickered and sat back with a contented sigh. She sipped on her Boba and considered the common room they were currently in – one of many in Oleander House. It was quiet which was pretty normal for a Sunday night.
“Oh, by the way, apparently Finnick and Ash are coming to our next game.” Mika closed the pizza box and eyed Corbin sitting across the room, reading some book.
She was under no impression that he was actually reading, but she appreciated the illusion of privacy.
“Four more games,” Audrey said, sipping at the milky tea. “Think we’ll make the official Marauders?”
“Hard to say when Malachi currently hates my guts.”
“I think it’s more than that,” Audrey said quietly, glancing at Corbin. But they both knew this wasn’t a topic the raven would report to the Council when he considered Mika’s love life so dramatic and inconsequential. “There’s something else going on, but I can’t figure out what.”
“What do you think it is?” Mika asked, genuinely curious.
The fire popped and crackled in the silence, but Corbin was the one sitting in front of it. Mika and Audrey were curled up on one of the massive couches – TV in front of them, paused on the end credits of an episode of Bewitched.
“He’s technically a low born witch,” Audrey said, dropping her voice in case the other witches passing by heard her. “People usually overlook that thanks to his charisma and skill on the field, plus he’s a frickin’ genius when it comes to innovating new spells. But with everything that happened before spring break…there has to be more.”
