Ethan leaned close and kissed me. He made me feel so special, I didn’t care that I was all sweaty. When my breathing ramped and my heart felt like it might explode, he raked his teeth gently across my lower lip, leaving a tingling trail along the plump skin as he pulled back. “I’ll miss you, too.”
Tucking loose strands of hair behind my ear, his intense gaze tracked my face. “I lo—” He paused, then said, “You mean a lot to me, Nara.” Don’t go anywhere alone. Promise you’ll stay safe while I’m gone, okay?”
The sweet flavor of Ethan’s bubble gum lingered on my tongue, and my lower lip still felt his warmth. I was pretty sure he’d almost told me that he loved me, and even though my heart had slammed against my chest at the thought, all I could do was nod mutely.
My throat ached as he walked to his car. If he’d said, “I love you”, the words would’ve locked in my throat. I wouldn’t have been able to say it back. Sliding into my car, I choked back a sad laugh. I couldn’t even tell my own mother, aunt or Gran that I loved them either. I’d avoided Gran and texted Mom and Sage instead. You’re such a whack job, Nara.
Whether he said it first or not, when Ethan got back, somehow I’d find a way to tell him how I felt about him.
***
“Inara, come in, sweetie. What a wonderful surprise for my Sunday afternoon.” Aunt Sage opened her door wider and yanked me into a tight hug. “I’m so glad you came. I’ve been thinking about you.”
I pulled back in surprise. “You have?”
Aunt Sage lifted the necklace lying against her chest. “Look, I’m taking lessons from my niece.”
She’d created a feather design around a long amethyst crystal. Hers was much better than mine, more intricate and with an artsy, whimsical flair. “You’re so talented,” I said. “Look at that detail. Your design should sell really well.”
“I already have several orders. Can you believe it? I’m calling it the Inara Designs Collection.”
I was stunned. “You named the new collection after me?”
Pride filled her face. “Don’t look so surprised. You designed it. You deserve the credit.”
Snorting, I pointed to the necklace. “I didn’t design that. You did.”
“Ah, but you were the inspiration,” she said with a wink. “And that’s all that matters.”
I shook my head, knowing I wasn’t going to talk her out of changing the name. When my aunt set her mind to something, it was pretty much a done deal. “Speaking of inspiration.” I nodded to the necklace. “That’s one of the reasons I’m here. I’ve done some research on the net, but could I look through your books for other symbolic meanings for the feather.”
Her hazel eyes sparkled. “We must be on the same wavelength. While I was designing feather jewelry, you were digging into the symbolism. You’re more than welcome to use my books. I’d love to see what you come up with. I could use an ‘info’ card to put in with the Inara pieces when I ship them off to customers. They love that extra touch, you know.”
“Will do,” I said, slipping out of my jacket.
“Well, I’ll leave you to it. Oh…” she said, turning back from the hallway that led to her studio. “You’ll stay for dinner, right?”
She knew how much I loved home-cooked meals. “Wouldn’t miss it.”
Aunt Sage began to hum as she walked through the door to her studio. When I heard her “work” music start up, I stared at the books on the shelves and pulled the first one out. Might as well start from the top and work my way down.
Three hours later, I was sprawled out on my stomach on the floor, taking notes on a notepad as I read passages from a book. All the dogs in the house were curled up against some part of me when Aunt Sage walked out of the kitchen. “Dinner will be ready in—awww, don’t move. I’ve got to get my camera.”
When she came back a few seconds later and snapped a shot, I snickered. “I’m sure that was a great picture of my butt.”
She scrunched her nose and turned off the digital camera. “I was taking a picture of the dogs. Your cute butt just happened to be in it.”
“Even I rank lower than you.” I sighed dramatically to Bo, who’d jumped up and was shoving his cold wet nose in my face, demanding attention.
“They get food from a bag. You get homemade meals. Dinner will be ready in fifteen.”
After she retreated into the kitchen, I organized all my notes, then put the books I’d pulled out back on the shelves. I had no idea my aunt’s interest in all things paranormal or New-Agey was so varied. From dictionaries, to books on government psychic programs, to mind-reading techniques, to crystal healing, to historical books on the Salem witch trials, to books on spells and herbs and aromatherapy. Her eclectic collection gave me plenty sources to glean a few tidbits on feathers, including beliefs, symbolic meanings and their uses in rituals and ceremonies.
Armed with what I’d learned, I could be more specific in my searches on the net and maybe come up with some information that might help Ethan feel better about his feather tattoo. How he got the tattoo might forever remain a mystery, but I wanted to help him come to terms with it.
“Did you find some additional information?” Aunt Sage asked as she set a plate with a delicious smelling twice-baked potato in front of me.
“I found some interesting symbolism I didn’t know about.” I slid a piece of paper across the table toward her. “I compiled a list for you so you can create a ‘did you know’ facts insert for your customers.”
The eagle feather is used in some Indian ceremonies to communicate with the Spirit for celestial wisdom.
Some consider the feather to represent the power of air and wind.
Feathers are believed to symbolize higher thoughts, enlightenment and even spiritual ascension to a new plane.
The Celtic believe the feather represents knowledge of the celestial realm.
After she scanned the paper, Aunt Sage looked thoughtful. “There are so many intriguing angles, aren’t there? Thank you for the fact sheet. You truly deserve all the credit for this new jewelry line.”
“Feels like cheating somehow,” I snickered before taking a bite of my potato.
Aunt Sage smiled. “My tarot reading this morning said today would be fruitful. I’d say fifty orders for Inara pieces counts.”
“Fifty? Wow, that’s great. Who knew adding feathers could make such a difference. Oh, another thing I learned, did you know that birds have also been used for divination? Ravens were mentioned specifically in one of your books.”
My aunt slid her fork into her own potato. “I remember reading something about ravens being kept at the Tower of London.”
“Yep, I read that excerpt. It had to do with a long ago superstition that has continued into modern times. The whole Tower of London thing was interesting. I’m going to include that information in a History project Ethan and I are working on.”
My aunt smiled. “I can see why you like Ethan.”
I picked up my glass. “He’s amazing. I’m glad you like him.”
“Have you told him about your gift?” she asked before chewing a bite of salad.
I choked on the water. The hard lump rolled painfully down my throat and into my chest. “Um, well, there’s not really much to tell since I don’t dream any more.”
“Ah, I see.” She balanced the fork on the tip of her finger. “Do you think he would understand if you told him?”
The last thing I wanted to do was accidentally betray Ethan’s confidence. Shrugging, I grasped onto the first thing that popped into my mind for a change of subject. “Hey, I’ve been meaning to tell you.” I touched the scar along my hairline. “I remembered how I got this.”
Aunt Sage’s fork clattered to her plate, splattering salad dressing everywhere. “Damn,” she muttered and jumped up to grab a dishtowel. As she wiped the tiles on the table, she asked, “What did you remember?”
Once I relayed the images that had flashed through my mind in the library, I frowned. “I remem
ber the fear in Dad’s eyes and his shaking hands as he cleaned and bandaged my wound, but I thought something he’d whispered to himself was kind of odd. He’d said, “I bolted it to the wall. This wasn’t supposed to happen.”
When my aunt’s hand stopped mid-wipe, I continued, “It wasn’t so much what he said, Aunt Sage, but the look in his eyes. It was almost, well…as if he’d expected the bookcase to fall over on me.”
Slowly lowering herself back to her chair, Aunt Sage suddenly looked very tired. “You’ve always had a knack for reading people, Inara. Your dad had expected the bookcase to fall on you and yes, that’s why he bolted it.”
I gripped my fork tight. “He knew that would happen?”
Aunt Sage blew a wayward red curl out of her face. “You inherited your abilities from him.”
A flush of heat swept over me, followed swiftly by anger. Why had no one ever told me? “Has Mom been lying to me all these years, too?” I said in a steely voice.
“No, honey. Your mom never knew. She still doesn’t.” She tried to put her hand on mine, but I jerked back. Sighing, she continued. “I wanted to tell you, but your father insisted that you might not develop his abilities. He hoped that you wouldn’t.”
“Why wouldn’t he want me to have them?”
Tears rimmed her eyes, spilling down her cheeks. “Because you’re just like him and having the ability to see ahead can be dangerous. You’ll be tempted to intercede on behalf of others. The older you get, the more responsible you’ll feel. Do not intervene, Inara.” Her gaze pleaded with me, and I instantly thought of Jody and Kristin and all the other people in the locker hall who’d been injured. Were they paying for my involvement? If I’d done nothing, the bombing would’ve been worse! Aunt Sage’s next comment yanked me out of my chaotic thoughts. “Your father paid dearly for that. The highest price.”
I slammed my fork down. “He left us! I don’t care one bit for whatever price he paid.”
Sage swiped her tears away. “He tried to contact you once I told him you had his abilities, but had recently lost your dreams. Since your dreams never returned, he was relieved and decided it was best not to tell you that you’d inherited his ability—to let it all fade away.”
Ethan has my dreams, I wanted to scream, but I was too angry that I’d been kept in the dark all my life. She’d let me tell her about my dreams the other day, while pretending ignorance. I curled my lip in annoyance. “Even though he walked out, he’s trying to be my parent, like he knows what’s best for me.”
“Inara, I know you’re hurt and I’m sorry. Your father is doing what’s right for you. He’d be furious that I even said anything, but I thought you deserved the truth.”
What’s right for me? I didn’t want to hear any more. I stood up quickly, the chair scraping behind me. “Don’t worry about it. Like you said, ‘I no longer have my dreams’.”
I stalked out of the kitchen and scooped up my jacket and keys.
“Inara, please stay and eat.” Aunt Sage stood in the kitchen doorway. “I’m sorry I upset you. I don’t want you to drive home all worked up. I wish I’d—” she paused, opening and closing her hands by her sides.
“What?” I grabbed up the notes I’d taken. “You wish you’d told me the truth when I first mentioned my powers?” Her hurt expression told me how bratty I sounded. I exhaled a breath of guilt. I was being unfair to her. Secrets aside, my aunt had always been there for me. My dad was behind this. Hurting me all over again. “You did the right thing for me by telling me the truth. If Mom doesn’t know about Dad, it sounds like he’s always kept secrets from those he supposedly loved.” Opening the door, I said, “As far as I’m concerned, he can keep his secrets.”
“He was only trying to…Inara,” she called after me.
Warm tears slipped down my cheeks and I angrily brushed them away as I walked to my car. I was glad it was dark so my aunt couldn’t see my damp face when I turned toward the porch. “Tell him never to contact us again. He didn’t see Mom fall apart when he tried to call our house a few weeks ago.”
Aunt Sage looked stunned. “He talked to Elizabeth?”
“No, I made sure he never got through. After I saw Mom’s reaction to his call in my dream, I blocked all unsolicited calls.”
I straightened my spine. “I want him to stay out of our lives. He gave up his right to speak to me—to us—the day he bailed.”
Chapter Eighteen
On my way home, I stopped by the grocery store’s video rental kiosk to give my puffy, red eyes a chance to clear. I rented a romantic comedy—an older one I hadn’t seen. Mom never watched movies with me, so I knew that’d be a good excuse to go straight to my room and watch it on my laptop. As I drove home, sadness made my chest ache. I felt like I’d lost my aunt—the one person I ran to when I needed a shoulder to lean on. Why couldn’t I have that with my mom? Pulling into the driveway, I glanced at the video and desperately wished Mom and I had a family movie night. It sounded so cliché, but I couldn’t think of a nicer cheesy tradition.
When I walked in, Mom lowered the newspaper and waved from the couch. I started up the stairs, already wondering where my headphones were, when I decided it couldn’t hurt to ask. “I—uh, rented a movie. Would you like to watch it with me?”
Mom closed the paper. “Sure, as long as it’s not one of those slasher movies.”
Surprised she agreed, I laughed and said, “No worries there,” then walked over to the DVD player to slip in the movie.
Pushing the Play button, I sat beside my mom and waited for the movie to start. When English subtitles came up and the actors began speaking in Spanish, I jumped up, saying, “I forgot this movie is subtitled. It has an English version too.”
As I hunted around for the remote, Mom stared at the screen. “I really could use some Spanish lessons. Several of our sites have Spanish speaking employees.”
Finding the remote in the end table drawer, I met her thoughtful gaze. “Mr. Dixon teaches outside classes. I’ll bet you could get him to tutor you.”
Mom shook her head. “This would be business-type conversations, finances and such, Inara. Not, ‘I’d like two beers, please.’”
I rolled my eyes. “I know that. Mr. Dixon mentioned that he sometimes teaches Business Spanish at the community college.”
She looked thoughtful. “That’s something to consider.”
Clicking the menu, I changed the settings to English and sat down beside her. “Let me know and I’ll get you his info.” I couldn’t help but feel hopeful. Mr. Dixon had thanked me for bringing my mom to the dinner. Twice. Then he’d casually suggested making it a quarterly event. Of course, the class shot that idea down faster than a row of carnival ducks.
Mom pointed to the remote. “Hit Play. I’m ready to watch.”
By the end of the movie, the boy got the girl (like Ethan and me), and the girl and her mother had worked through their strained, screwball relationship, making me wish life could fully imitate art.
I’d taken the DVD out and put it away, when I decided I had nothing to lose. Walking behind the sofa, I dropped a quick kiss on my mom’s cheek and then immediately jogged up the stairs, calling behind me, “Night, Mom. Thanks for watching the movie with me.”
“Night,” I heard her say in a soft voice. Peeking through the banister railings, I was surprised to see tears glistening in her eyes, and she was touching her cheek where I’d kissed her.
Why hadn’t I tried that years ago? Feeling elated, I tiptoed the rest of the way to my room.
As soon as I got to my room, I pulled out my cell phone and erased the second text message from my dad, then shredded the piece of paper where I’d written the phone number down from my dream. We had a chance to move forward. I wasn’t letting Dad mess Mom and me up. Not now. Not ever.
***
Where was Ethan? I was so disappointed when I didn’t see him at his locker on Monday morning. I really wanted to talk to him about my dad. Was he as surprised as I was? Since Et
han would’ve dreamed my entire Sunday while camping, he would know exactly what was said between my aunt and me.
The school day dragged. During each class period, I literally hung on the edge of my chair, ready to pounce the moment the bell rang. I’d seen Ethan ahead of me in the hall a couple of times, but he must’ve not seen me or he would’ve slowed down and waited.
By the time fourth period was almost over, I was wound so tight, Mrs. Bose stopped in the middle of her lecture and asked in a snotty voice, “Do you have somewhere more important to be, Miss Collins?” I’d never been very good at subtlety.
When I saw Ethan tossing books into his locker and then grabbing another set, I leaned against my locker and tried to act casual, despite the bundle of nerves squirming in my stomach. “How was the camping trip?”
Ethan’s eyes were bluer than usual against his darkly tanned face. The few days’ scuff on his jaw only made him even more drool-worthy. God, he had no idea how incredibly good-looking he was.
“Hey.” He grinned and for a second I wondered if he’d read my mind, but then sympathy flickered through his eyes. “That was a rough day with your aunt, huh?”
I hugged my books to my chest. “You saw my reaction.”
He shut his locker. “Yeah, I did. I’ve gotta go, but we can talk about it in study hall if you want.”
I swallowed the tight knot in my throat. “I do.”
Ethan raised his fingers toward my hair and the bell rang. Dropping his hand, he looked regretful. “See you later.”
I watched him stroll down the hall and my chest tightened with sudden concern. His split lip had healed, but I noticed the shadows under his eyes and tension around his mouth before he’d walked away. What was wrong?
***
Ethan was sitting in our spot in the far right corner when I walked in study hall. I set my books on the table and moved my chair closer to his. “You’re early today.”
Dark Roses: Eight Paranormal Romance Novels Page 77
