by Ayles, Abby
The gardener walked over and helped Hannah pick up her belonging. It took all her strength not to crumple in a ball on the ground.
“Are you alright, truly?” the man asked.
All Hannah could do was nod her head yes. She was certain if words came out she would altogether break down.
“He can be a rake when he drinks too much, but overall he is a good worker. Just try and stay away from him,” the man said.
She simply nodded in disbelief again before collecting herself and hurrying into the house and straight to her room.
Grimshaw stood on the scaffolding clenching and unclenching his fists. Had he not seen it with his own eyes he might not have believed it.
But as soon as Abigail picked up his girls and took them inside, he watched Miss Jacobson slip into a small alcove. He wondered why she had done such a silly thing until he saw his footman exit the same spot.
He couldn’t believe that to his face she had put on such a show of abiding by his requests yet in his own house she was flaunting his authority.
Grimshaw hated himself for the things he had thought of her as he watched her and the girls on the blanket for the last half hour. She had looked so loving and kind to them and he had actually thought perhaps…but no. She was a deceiver just like the other one.
It was clear that like Miss Watts no matter what Miss Jacobson said, she had one goal while she was here and that had nothing to do with teaching his children.
Chapter Thirteen
Hannah did her best to regain her composure as she changed in the silence of her own room. It was not an easy task.
Though her hands were still shaking, she changed her gown to one suitable for the evening meal and repinned her hair.
Hannah did her best to ignore the lock that was now two inches shorter than the rest. In her mind, if she pretended the whole event didn’t happen then perhaps she wouldn’t crumble to pieces.
With a tight tug she replaced her linen cap, sure that she would never take it off again no matter the weather.
She had forgotten herself this afternoon. In the sunshine and enjoyment of the girls’ company she had entirely lost herself in the joy.
“It won’t happen again, Jacobson,” she said with determination to the reflection in the mirror.
It was hard to hide the red rims of her eyes, or the bruise already starting on her neck from where Mr. Poole had held her so tight.
Even as she spoke to herself in the mirror she could hear the hoarseness of her voice from his mistreatment. Perhaps a warm cup of tea would soothe her vocal cords, but until one could be procured she would have to keep her speech even more to a minimum.
Luckily as she went to procure the girls from their nurse both were still in high spirits and chatty over their game this afternoon. Hannah struggled to share in their happiness as she had not that long ago.
It felt like years since she had sat under the tree reading, or batted the shuttlecock back and forth with the girls. Finding her way out of the fog of fear and destitution seemed impossible.
At dinner, Hannah was happy to see that the earl was just as quiet of speech. Instead the dining room was filled with little girls’ voices each telling the day in turn.
Hannah didn’t have much appetite. As the night wore on the pain at her neck seemed to grow. With every swallow of her food or beverage her throat burned with the pain.
“Miss Jacobson?” Lady Caroline’s voice woke her from her struggles to eat.
“I’m sorry, dear, what was that?” Hannah struggled to say smoothly.
“I thought you might want to tell Father about the forget-me-not competition.”
Hannah looked up at the earl. It was the first time she had really looked at him tonight. He seemed much more gruff than usual.
He tore at his meat with his knife and scowled severely despite his daughters’ happy chatter.
“Oh, why don’t you do it, dear,” Hannah said, fighting against the burn in her throat. “I don’t think I could quite do it justice.”
“Yes,” Grimshaw said, speaking for the first time, “I expect Miss Jacobson is most exhausted from her excursions today. I dare say she looks like she is plum worn out.”
Though his words were kind enough Hannah was sure there was more to the meaning than he was letting on. He glared at her in a most fierce way that she couldn’t understand.
Had she not already been tormented enough at the hands of a man? Now she was to stew over what could have possibly made the earl so cross.
To break the glare he was giving her, Hannah took another drink from her cup. Immediately she sensed Poole at her side filling it up. She tensed against his unnecessary action.
Grimshaw seemed to tense too.
“I believe we have all had quite enough, David,” Grimshaw said curtly. “I would ask you to leave now.”
Mr. Poole looked at his employer with utter shock. He had never been removed from the dining room before.
For the briefest of moments Hannah looked up at him, and he down to her. Where her eyes held fear, his were determined.
It was a small relief for Hannah however to have the man removed even if it was just for the end of one meal. It was hard enough to keep her composure knowing that her attacker was always standing over her, watching her.
Sebastian Grimshaw tightened his grip on his cutlery as he watched the look exchanged between the two interlopers. They didn’t even have the curtesy to hide their affair.
“I expect since tomorrow is Saturday you will be needing to go to the village,” Grimshaw said abruptly to Miss Jacobson. “I will have the carriage ready for our journey promptly at eight o’clock. I have many other things to engage my time tomorrow and cannot waste it all in Concordshire.”
Hannah’s head was spinning by his words.
“I’m sorry, Lord Grimshaw. I don’t understand what you are saying. I wasn’t aware that I was taking the girls to town tomorrow.”
“You are not,” he said curtly.
“Do you not recall that I have asked you to only go to Concordshire in my company? Seeing how you have been here for several months now and have not done so, I can only assume that means you have not gone at all,” he said, accusing her of disobeying his orders.
“That is correct,” Hannah retorted, jutting out her chin.
“Then I expect there are a great many things you are in need of, or perhaps letters to be mailed?”
“No,” Hannah said simply.
“Then forgive me, Miss Jacobson, but how can that be possible?”
He was daring her to admit that she was not holding to her employer’s standards.
“Mary has been gracious enough to mail my letters for me, and procure anything I might need.”
He studied her for a minute, measuring the truth of her words.
“And there is nothing that you wish to go into town in person for?” Grimshaw asked as a final test.
Miss Jacobson had been consorting with his footman unknown to him, perhaps she was also interloping with Matthew McCarthy.
The betrayal coursed through his blood as he stared her down.
“Not that I can think of at this moment,” Hannah retorted, seeing his double meaning and choosing not to rise to the occasion of arguing over it in front of the children.
“Well, I hope your arrangement with Mary will last some time, as I will not be able to take you to Concordshire for some time.”
Both girls looked at him inquisitively, wondering where he was going with this train of thought.
“I’m sorry to tell you both,” he said, now pointing his attention to his daughters, “that I got word that I must go to London right away. I will be leaving tomorrow and may not return for some time.”
Grimshaw told himself that he really did have pressing business in London that had called him away as he jolted about in the carriage.
That didn’t seem to calm the guilt over leaving his two teary-eyed daughters early that morning.
In r
eality he knew why he had run to London and ordered his townhouse made ready. He was hurt. Hurt that he had opened a piece of his heart and let someone in only to be disappointed by her.
He couldn’t bear to look on Miss Jacobson any more than David Poole. Both disgusted him with their secret affair. He wanted to tell himself it was because she so clearly undermined him and disrespected his authority.
It reality it was because he had cared for her. He had let her into his life, and into his girls’ heart, and all she was doing was setting them all up for great disappointment again.
Grimshaw was pleased to see that when he arrived in London that evening every needful thing was prepared and ready for him. Rarely did he use the London house and had half expected to spend his first night in a rented room until preparations to open the house were finished. Much to his surprise it was all done in a timely manner and for the most part the house was opened.
Though his main purpose for leaving Brighton Abby was to remove Miss Jacobson from his sight, and hopefully his mind, he did in fact actually have work to do.
Often he put such tasks off or hired another to go in his stead, not wanting to leave the girls for a prolonged time. But he knew they would be fine in the care of their governess and nurse.
Though she may have duped him, he took solace in the fact that at least she was a good companion for his daughters. He would just have to resign himself to the fact that she was no different than Miss Watts.
Perhaps all governesses were the same. Could he truly blame her for that? He thought it was probably irrational to feel ire towards her for only trying to find a permanent place in life.
For certainly one could not spend one’s whole life as a governess. He supposed it was the goal of every lady in the profession to use their employer’s connections to find themselves a more stable situation.
Realizing this fact didn’t help the bitter sting he still felt in his heart. He hated himself for running away like a coward.
He should have faced her, accused her, and then removed her from her position. As much as Grimshaw knew that was what his mind told him to do, he couldn’t bring the action to fruition.
Grimshaw wouldn’t take another caregiver from his daughters and worst of all, he didn’t have the courage to send her away.
As he lay in his townhouse bed that night, unable to sleep, he did his best to only think of Miss Jacobson with ire and malice. Instead the only image that seemed to form in his mind was the night in her room.
She had been so frightened and had leaned on him in her time of need. In that moment he would have given her the world if she had asked it.
He remembered the feel of her golden braid on his fingers and the smell of lavender as he rested his chin on the top of her head.
She had seemed to fit so perfectly in his arms that night as he held her close and let her cry.
His mind went to his late wife, she must be in heaven right now looking down on him, so ashamed of his actions.
Yes, in life she had told him to remarry to find happiness again. She couldn’t have meant it though. Even if she did, how could he?
There had been a small flicker of hope with Miss Jacobson, he admitted to himself. Look where that got him now. He was running away from his own house.
It was a ridiculous notion that he could ever find with another what he had with his dear wife. She could never be replaced in his heart. The sooner he resigned himself to that fact, the better it would be for all his household.
Chapter Fourteen
The following day Sebastian wasn’t surprised to already have received several calling cards. Though he was out most of the day attending to House of Lords business, he returned home that night to several invitations and cards left by visitors.
He rarely ever came to town since his wife’s passing and had forgotten how fast news traveled at the height of the Season.
Most of the cards were from old acquaintances and connections. Several he could see were acquaintances of his father who he guessed had daughters of eligible age. These cards he threw away promptly.
No doubt most would see his coming to town a sign that he was ready to take on a new wife. Nothing could be farther from the truth in his mind at that moment.
One card, however, did stick out to him. Though most of the invitational engagements he received he would begrudgingly attend, this was the only name that brought him joy.
It was Mr. Jayden Marsh, son of Baron Westminster, and younger brother to his late wife. Though Jayden was twenty and six, making him six years his junior, the two had hit it off well.
Sebastian’s marriage to Ann Marsh, eldest daughter of the baron, had been one of connections between families at first.
The baron and his own father had been great friends in their school years. Though it had started that way, Sebastian had come to greatly love and care for kind, delicate Ann.
Though the family connections had meant the two of them had seen each other on occasion growing up, he still hadn’t really gotten to know her until after their marriage. The same was true for her younger brother.
Sebastian had paid the young lad little attention in his own youth. He was much too preoccupied with the ideals of a young pup in his first Seasons with the ton. Even after his marriage to Ann, which he always knew was the plan, he had seen little of his brother-in-law who was away at school.
However, once Jayden was finished with his schooling, he came to visit his sister and brother-in-law often. More than that he was a very doting uncle to first Caroline and then Rebecca as they came in turn.
The age difference didn’t matter much to Sebastian as he found a great friend in Jayden. So it was with this notion that Grimshaw sent a letter to his brother-in-law in the evening post to invite him to join him for breakfast at the local gentlemen’s club.
Though Sebastian still missed his daughters dearly, he was sure that a little time away from Brighton Abby and back in society would do him good.
The following morning he was pleased to see that Jayden had received his note and was waiting for him at the club for breakfast.
“It’s been a long time,” Jayden said, standing at Sebastian’s entrance and taking his hand heartily.
Sebastian hadn’t thought it was such a long time since he saw Jayden Marsh last, but now that he set eyes on the man he was sure it was. Jayden had already matured and changed so much since last he saw him.
Already much of his boyish lines had formed into that of a man. Even still Sebastian could see so much of Ann in her younger brother. They both shared the same black as night hair, ghostly white complexion, and hazel eyes that seemed ever-changing with the season.
However, unlike his sister, and the last time Grimshaw saw him, Jayden now had the masculine square chin dusted already with the shadow of stubble. He also had seemed to grow into his full height. Whereas before Sebastian had a good head of height on him, they were now eye to eye.
It took Sebastian a few moments to reconcile the boy he knew from the past with the man who now stood before him.
They sat down to their breakfast and spent a good portion of it simply catching each other up on their lives since last they met.
Jayden was eager to hear of his nieces’ wellbeing and Grimshaw was happy to oblige him with all their tales. It was easy for the earl to be a boasting father as he loved his daughters so much.
“What an unfortunate thing about that first governess,” Jayden said after he was caught up on all of Grimshaw’s happenings over the past year. “But it sounds like you found a better fit in this new one.”
“Yes, that’s what I thought too,” Sebastian retorted. “Unfortunately she seems to be going the same way. I suppose they are all like that.”
“What do you mean? I thought you said you picked a plain, homely one yourself,” Jayden retorted as he stuck another sausage with his fork and plopped it in his mouth.
Sebastian caught his brother-in-law up on all the events that led him to London.
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br /> “How dreadful for the girls,” Jayden said when he was done. “Will you be letting her go then?”
“I couldn’t,” he said instantly. “For the girls’ sake, of course,” he revised quickly.
“I suppose I am just settled to the fact that a governess will always be a revolving door. I will let her stay on as long as possible, to give the girls as much stability as I can. It’s a most frustrating enterprise.”
“I should say so,” Jayden agreed. “I do think there is a better way to keep a womanly figure in my nieces’ lives,” he added.
“Pray tell, if you have a better way.”
“Engage yourself in finding a new wife.”
Sebastian sat back in his chair and scoffed at his brother-in-law’s words.
“How could you of all people say such a thing?”
“Perhaps it is better that it comes from me than someone else. Don’t get me wrong, I loved my sister dearly. I miss her every day, as I know you do too,” he added quickly. “But we both know that those little girls of hers need a woman to look up to. If a governess isn’t fit for the job, we both know a wife is.”
“I am not ready for that. Nor am I sure I ever will be,” Sebastian said with tightened lips.
He didn’t like admitting weakness even to Jayden.
“You are an honorable man to my sister to love her so, but she wouldn’t want to see you suffer like this. Or to see the girls suffer like this for that matter.”
“So what do you suggest, I just remove her from my memory, as the girls do the same, and go and hunt for a replacement?”
“Nothing of the sort,” Jayden said softly, knowing this to be a delicate subject.
“I don’t think it would hurt for you to spend some time in society at least while you are here in London. You have business to attend to, yes, but it wouldn’t hurt to also see what else the ton has to offer.”
“I will not parade myself about to be skewered by a matron looking to fix her daughter. I never had a taste for it in my youth, and certainly don’t now.”
