by Ayles, Abby
“You need a mother, you both do,” he tried to explain to her. “She is someone who can show you the ways of the world and help you find your way through society.”
“Miss Jacobson does that well enough,” Caroline snapped back. “She makes us do all those lady things like samplers and tea time and being proper. Why would we ever need a mother?”
“There are things that only a mother can do that a governess can’t. Lady Tara, you will find, is very kind. She will love you as her own children.”
“Grannie loves us as her own. Isn’t that good enough?” Rebecca started in.
Instantly Caroline turned on her sister and hushed her.
“Grannie?” Grimshaw asked, looking between the two of them.
Caroline was shooting daggers at her sister and Rebecca was looking at the floor, shamed that she had said something she wasn’t supposed to.
“Tell me now,” Grimshaw ordered in his demanding voice.
“She lives in the cottage in the village,” Caroline said softly. “Mrs. McCarthy.”
“McCarthy,” Grimshaw repeated, folding his arms across his chest. “How would you have occasion to see Mrs. McCarthy, let alone be on such friendly terms with her as to call her ‘Grannie?’”
“Miss Jacobson has been taking us to her cottage every week. It was supposed to be a secret.”
“She has been taking you two to the village, to McCarthy’s house without my knowledge? And she told you to keep it a secret?”
Grimshaw was boiling with rage. If he had ever thought he could have loved Miss Jacobson he had no idea why. She was clearly a deceitful siren that had entrapped his daughters in her snare.
“We wanted to keep it a secret so it would be a Christmas present,” Rebecca tried to explain.
“What sort of a present? Were you going to surprise me with the gift of months of lies?” he bellowed.
“She has been our art tutor,” Rebecca mumbled with a tear falling down her cheek. “She lets us practice tea with her too and she had little kittens I get to play with.”
Grimshaw softened his expression. He had no reason to be mad at his girls. They had trusted their governess when she had encouraged them to keep the truth of the matter from him.
“And I suppose while you are taking lessons with Mrs. McCarthy, Miss Jacobson is visiting with her son?” he said more to himself as he paced the room again.
“He rarely comes,” Caroline said.
“Indeed,” Grimshaw retorted, only seeing the affirmation of the gentleman’s presence during these secret trips.
“You girls may go to Abigail. You are done with school for the day. I will be having words with Miss Jacobson.”
“Are you cross, Father?” Caroline asked. “We only meant it to be a nice surprise. We worked so hard on our watercolors we thought you would like it that way.”
He forced himself to take a long breath. He leaned down to his girls’ level and took one in each of his hands.
“I am not cross with you. Neither of you did anything wrong. Miss Jacobson went against my wishes in taking you. I will need to have words with her over that fact.”
He stood back up and ushered the girls to go through the door and into the nursery.
Rebecca turned around, tears still spilling from her eyes, “Father, don’t be mad at Miss Jacobson. I love her so,” she whimpered.
He tightened his fists at his side. How this woman had bewitched his children. He said nothing but did his best to nod his understanding in an encouraging way.
Hannah was surprised when the door to the school room opened and both girls came in upset. She ran to their sides and hugged them each to her.
“Is something the matter?” she asked the girls, though neither one could answer at first.
“I’m sorry, Miss Jacobson,” Rebecca finally choked out between spilling tears. “I told the secret.”
Hannah’s blood ran cold at the child’s words.
“Miss Jacobson,” Lord Grimshaw’s voice boomed from the doorway. “I would like a word with you in my office right away.”
He didn’t wait for a reply, just simply stormed away slamming the outer school room door behind him. Hannah jumped at the action.
“It is alright,” she cooed to the girls who began to truly sob from the start of the door slamming.
“He said you weren’t meant to take us to the village,” Caroline choked between cries.
“And he is right. Forgive me for including you in something that should not have been done. It was wrong of me.”
“Will Father send you away?” Rebecca choked.
“I’m not sure,” Hannah said as the panic started to well deep inside her. “But no matter what happens, I promise you the two of you will be just fine.”
Hannah hugged each girl before coming to stand and passing off the girls to their nurse. She did her best to smooth out her skirts before leaving the sanctuary of the nursery to meet the waiting earl below in his office.
She stood outside his door and listened in for any sound that might give her an idea of what to expect. The sound of his thumping boots pacing the floor muted all other noise away. She guessed that wasn’t a good sign.
Softly she knocked on the door and the order to enter was given. Hannah did her best to hold her head up high as she came to stand before the earl.
Normally when she entered this room he was behind his desk, but today he was pacing in front of the hearth. She stood before him and he towered over her with his seething anger.
“Tell me it isn’t true? Tell me it is all a cruel joke? Please tell me that, because I could see no other reason why my girls would claim that you have been taking them to see McCarthy.”
Hannah kept her eyes fixed on the rug at their feet.
“I cannot say it is a lie because it isn’t. We have gone at least once a week these past several months for the girls to receive art instructions from Mrs. McCarthy.”
“What a strange thing to do,” he huffed through his nostrils, “since I hired you to be a whole educator to my daughters. Not to mention the fact that I explicitly told you not to go to the village without my presence.”
“I know you’re upset,” Hannah started.
“Upset? Upset!” Grimshaw bellowed. He threw his arms into the air. “Upset, I’m afraid Miss Jacobson, doesn’t even begin to describe what I am feeling. You went behind my back and you roped my daughters into your husband hunting schemes.”
“My what?” Hannah retorted, flabbergasted.
“You heard me quite clearly. You only went to see that old widow so that you could make a connection with her son, Matthew McCarthy. The girls even told me he would be there.”
“Just a moment,” Hannah said, putting hands on her hips. “It is true that I took the girls to the village each week for art lessons against your wishes and without your permission. I convinced them not to tell you on the grounds that I knew you would behave in this bearish manner. Never did I have any other intentions than to bring company to a lonely old woman.”
“Yet her son was present, wasn’t he?” Grimshaw countered.
“On very few occasions, yes he was there. He rarely sees Mrs. McCarthy and even when he did he didn’t stay long. I had no intentions towards him nor he to I.”
She wasn’t completely sure about that last part but as the man had not said anything outright on the matter she figured it was a good conclusion to come to.
“I don’t care how you rationalize things in your own mind,” Grimshaw retorted. “The fact of the matter is you disobeyed me, you encouraged my children to keep secrets from me, and you have shown to have a flawed character full of deception and dishonesty. I have no choice but to terminate your employment.”
Hannah’s jaw fell open and she took several shocked steps back.
“I can’t believe…I didn’t think…” Hannah stammered.
“No, you didn’t think,” Grimshaw retorted, still full of rage. “I will give you two weeks to secure travel and a
ccommodation wherever it is you plan to go,” Grimshaw said, turning his back to her and leaning over the cold hearth.
Hannah stood there a few moments longer, still trying to process it all. She couldn’t believe what was happening. What was she going to do now?
“May I at least continue to instruct the girls until I leave?” Hannah finally asked.
Grimshaw stood up from the hearth and turned to her, surprised by her request.
“Fine,” he said after a beat. “But I will require that Abigail be present any time you are in their company.”
Hannah nodded and a tear escaped down her cheek.
She left the room as fast as her skirts would allow and went straight to the safety of her own bedroom with the door properly locked.
She couldn’t blame the earl for being mad, she couldn’t even fault him for firing her. She had done wrong. She had been deceitful.
But all Hannah had wanted to do was bring some joy to an old lonely woman. Why was that so wrong?
Now she had two weeks left with the precious girls and then what? Where would she go? There was no possibility for her to secure another post at this time of year. Fall was already beginning to turn into winter. Even if she had a reference from the earl, which she was sure she wouldn’t, how would she find another position to take her?
She couldn’t bring herself to return to her family home. Her parents struggled so much as it was, to give them another adult mouth to feed would be cruel.
Her gut turned inward on her as she thought this over. What would her family do this winter without her income to supplement theirs?.
She had nowhere to go, and unlike the last time she fled from a governess job, she had no savings to fall back on. She had given every coin she had between her family and Grannie.
She would scarcely have enough to pay for the fare back to London. What was she to do then? It would be cold with winter coming close behind and nowhere to live.
Hannah crumpled onto her bed. Her life had never seemed so destitute until this very moment. She was sure that what would make the cold and the hunger all the worse was the memories of the happiness she had here at Brighton Abby and how she had ruined it all.
Chapter Twenty-Two
It only took five minutes after Hannah Jacobson left his office for the Earl of Grimshaw to completely and utterly regret his actions.
He had been angry, and yes rightly so, but he had lost control. He had lost it because he had been filled with jealousy. The idea that she had any interest in Matthew McCarthy made him sick to his stomach.
He wasn’t sure if he could even trust the words she told him. Had she merely been visiting an old lonely woman like she claimed? How could he trust any words that came out of her mouth ever again?
Nothing could compare to the utter self-loathing he felt later that night at dinner when he had to inform the girls that Miss Jacobson would be leaving in two weeks’ time.
Rebecca said nothing, simply burst into tears and cried uncontrollably until Abigail was called to take her back to the nursery. Caroline was worse. She said nothing, just simply sat there. When Rebecca left she followed behind without so much as a good night.
The earl told himself, however, all would be well with the arrival of Lord and Lady Waldron and their daughter. Lady Tara expressed interest in his girls, after all. She would be a great companion and distraction to them.
Much to the earl’s surprise that distraction came much sooner than he anticipated. Only four days after the letter reached London he found a response returned to him and by that evening the Marlow family themselves had arrived.
He suspected that they had literally dropped everything at the invitation and left that instant. Grimshaw found that all a little off-putting but did his best to think nothing of it.
Unfortunately things only seemed to get worse from there.
“How lovely that you would bring your girls down before dinner. Will they be reciting their lessons for us before they go to bed?” Lady Tara said, seated in the drawing room.
Hannah, who had done everything in her power to steer clear of the earl since her termination, stood with both girls dressed for dinner and standing before the new guests.
“They are to join us for supper,” Lord Grimshaw said, a little perplexed by the need for explanation.
Of course he knew it wasn’t common for children to attend dinner parties, but he assumed since this visit was a clear declaration of his intentions that they would be treated like family.
“Children at dinner?” Lady Waldron gasped, scandalized. “I’ve never heard of such a thing.”
“Yes,” Lady Tara said, coming up next to Grimshaw and locking her arm into his. “I don’t think it is a very good idea, Grimshaw. They couldn’t possibly know how to behave properly and my poor mother has no stomach for impropriety.”
“You will find they are very proper and respectful little girls,” Grimshaw countered.
Both girls’ gazes fell to the carpet, embarrassed. Hannah put a protective arm around each of them to bring them comfort.
Lady Tara simply stared up at Lord Grimshaw with her black eyes full of expectancy.
“I suppose for the time being they can take their meals in the nursery,” he said half-heartedly.
“As it should be, my dear,” Lady Tara said, rewarding him with a dazzling smile.
“Come along, girls,” Hannah said softly, turning them around to leave the drawing room.
Hannah and Grimshaw’s eyes only met once. In the pools of her blue eyes he saw the disappointment that he had not championed for his children’s cause.
He told himself that it had been unorthodox in the first place. It was also very natural to have changes to routine with the introduction of a new member of the family. He was certain they would understand when they got to know Lady Tara better.
She had assured him over the Season that she found children to be a joy and had spoken often about how she anticipated meeting his girls someday.
It did seem true that her mother had little taste for things out of the ordinary. Grimshaw was sure once he was married and Lord and Lady Waldron were returned back to their own home, things would go back to the way they once were.
A week after the Marlow family arrived at Brighton Abby and just two days before Hannah was required to leave, Lady Tara took her first interest in Lord Grimshaw’s two daughters.
It was as much a surprise to the girls as it was to Hannah when Lady Tara walked into the school room unannounced and informed the children that they would be joining her for tea downstairs.
Though Hannah had yet to find anything to like in Lady Tara during their sparse interactions over the last week, she was sure that there must have been some good for the earl to invite her to his country seat.
For the benefit of the girls, who too got the feeling of something off-putting, Hannah kept on her brave face and did her best to encourage and excite them for their afternoon with Lady Tara.
“I would much rather go to Grannie’s house,” Rebecca moaned.
“I know, dear,” Hannah tried to comfort her by patting the girl’s silky brown hair.
“It’s been weeks since we’ve been to see her. What if she is sick or in need of help?” Caroline chimed in.
“She has Mr. McCarthy to look after her.”
Both girls looked up at their governess with big brown disbelieving eyes.
“I know he is not always the most attentive to her. But I am sure he is there for her when it really counts.”
Hannah had a hard time believing the words she was saying any more than the girls could.
“And anyway, Grannie is in good health and has good strength. She has got along fine for many years without our visits, I am sure she will get on fine a little while longer till you can go see her again.”
“But when will that be? Father is sending you away and we will have no one left to take us. We will lose you and Grannie all at once,” Caroline cried.
“Oh
hush now,” Hannah said, folding the child into her arms. “You will not lose either of us. You are doing so well at your handwriting now that we may write to each other as often as you like.”
“Do you promise?” Caroline asked, looking up at her with a sniff of her nose.
Hannah hesitated. She of course would love to correspond with the girl forever. She had grown to love both Caroline and Rebecca as if they were her own girls. Two great problems lay in the way of that, however.
Firstly there was still the fact that in two days’ time she would leave Brighton Abby and have nowhere to go. How could she promise to correspond with the girl when she would have no address to write to? Secondly was the earl himself. She was sure that he would never let his daughters continue a connection with her after what had transpired between the two of them.
“I will do all that is in my power to make it so,” Hannah finally settled on, before giving the girls a hug and sending them off with Abigail to attend to Lady Tara.
She sat down in the chair by the fire. So much stress had weighed her down these past weeks it was hard for her to keep up the facade of smiles for their sake.
To make matters worse, now that the whole house knew of her termination, Mr. Poole had become an even bigger harassment in her life.
When the earl returned to Brighton Abby he had limited his nightly visits outside her door to just once or twice a week. She had thought that the earl’s presence in the house had deterred him once and for all.
With the news of her imminent departure, Mr. Poole had moved beyond brazen action. Every night he stood outside her door. Sometimes he would just pull on the handle, hoping that the motion would set the lock free she supposed. Other nights he would stand there for hours at a time and speak to her.
It was a horrible thing to be woken up to. He would call her name over and over and say horrible foul things he wished to do to her. She was beginning to wonder if her virtue was truly worth the sanity he was slowly wearing down.
It was in this chair that Hannah, most accidentally, slipped off to sleep while the girls were off to their tea.
It was with a sudden jolt that she awoke. So used to the sound rousing her from sleep being a frightening one, she leapt from her chair dazed and confused.
