Next he waited for the guilt he would surely feel. After nineteen years of marriage, a husband should feel bad that his wife had died. Especially if the husband in question happened to be a minister.
But, as he slowly rose from the bed and headed downstairs to alert the public health officer that he had a body to be picked up, Colby murmured a quiet and heartfelt, “Thank You, Lord.”
Chapter 18
“I’ve got you,” Daniel whispered again, holding the still form of his wife close, as tears slid down his temples.
At least she wasn’t suffering anymore, he tried to tell himself. But it brought no comfort. Two weeks hadn’t been enough time to be with her. Not nearly enough. They were supposed to have a lifetime, which meant years. It shouldn’t have been able to be measured in days. How was he supposed to go on without her?
“Nina, please,” he said, and began to weep. And then he stilled as he felt her take a great, deep breath.
It couldn’t be! Could it?
He hauled himself up on one elbow and cupped her cheek with his other hand. The fever was gone, and she’d begun to sweat profusely.
She wasn’t dead? Please, God, he prayed, sobbing now as he brought his face near hers. She was breathing! But how long had it been since she taken that last breath? Twenty seconds? Surely no more than thirty.
“Nina? Nina, wake up!” he begged, patting her face. All she did was moan softly. But it was enough. She was still with him.
~~~
Elliot’s first thought, before he even opened his eyes, was that he must have dozed off at some point during the night. But whatever rest he’d gotten hadn’t helped. He was so tired he could have slept for a month and it wouldn’t have made a difference. He wished he could sleep forever rather than face a new day, and the pain that never left him. Wondering if Jonathon, too-
Jonathon!
His eyes snapped open and he sat bolt upright. Why hadn’t Margaret woken him? Where was Margaret? She’d been sitting on the bed wiping a cool cloth across Jonathon’s face the last time he recalled seeing her.
Where was Jonathon, for that matter?
The room was empty, but for him. A faint ray of hope swelled and he shot out of the chair, searching the rooms on the upper floor. He only found Kathleen asleep in her bed, her face tear stained. She must have brought every doll she possessed under the covers with her.
Elliot reached out a reluctant hand and gently laid it against her forehead, breathing a sigh of relief at the still cool skin.
A smile lighting his face, Elliot hurried down the stairs, noting that Richard was sprawled out, sleeping in a chair in the parlor. He’d check on him in a moment. After seeing for himself that Jonathon was all right.
But the kitchen was empty.
More than a little perplexed, he scoured the main floor but found no trace of his wife or son. They weren’t out back either. His brows furrowed, he headed out to check the front porch. When he opened the door and saw them, he felt as though he’d been hit with a sledgehammer.
Margaret sat on the swing, slowly pushing it back and forth, humming softly. She held the stiff, lifeless body in her arms.
Jonathon was gone, too.
It had to be a nightmare. Three children in a matter of days? How could he bear this?
A curious numbness washed over him. He wanted to cry or scream at the unfairness. At the cruelty. But he could only stand, rooted to the spot, staring in anguish at this wonderful boy whose brilliant mind would be ever at rest. At his wife who tenderly stroked his hair and placed light kisses on his face.
“Did you sleep well, dear?”
It took a moment before Elliot realized she’d spoken. To him. Why was she smiling?
“Margaret?”
“I know how exhausted you were,” she continued softly, “so when Jonathon’s fever broke I thought it best to just let you rest.”
She smiled down at her son and kissed him again before looking back at her husband.
“Sweet boy. He’s tired, too. But I thought he should have some fresh air after being cooped up inside for so long. And it’s helped. He’s resting comfortably.”
“Meg-”
“I’m going to make him an apple pie tomorrow. I know it’s Wednesday, but you know how much he loves apple pie. I’d like to make it today, but the baby is coming. I don’t think he’ll mind though, do you? Not that I care!” She laughed softly then continued to talk. Rapidly. Much like Kathleen often did, barely stopping for a breath. “You will run to the market for me, won’t you?”
“I- Yes. Of course,” he murmured. She had to know. Didn’t she? And what had she just said? The baby is coming? Now?
“I knew you would. Thank you.” She began humming again and Elliot walked slowly to stand before her.
“I think you should come inside now,” he said gently. He pressed his hands against her stomach and felt how hard it was. Yes, it was time. “There’s a chill in the air and it’s not good for Jonathon. And you don’t want to have the baby out here for all the neighbors to see, do you?”
“Jonathon is warm enough,” she said quickly, looking pointedly at the quilt wrapped snuggly around him. “And there’s plenty of time before the baby gets here. We’ve been cooped up in the house for so long, we just want to enjoy some time out here.”
“You’re not warm enough.” She wore only a skirt and thin blouse. He reached out and touched her cheek. She felt warm, but it was from the fever. For a moment he closed his eyes then, swallowing hard, looked at her again. Please, God, not his wife, he prayed fervently. He couldn’t bear any of this without her.
“I’m fine, dear.”
“I insist you come in and get into bed. I’ll call the doctor and then you can concentrate on bringing our new son or daughter into the world. Let me take Jonathon, and then I’ll help you upstairs.”
“No!” she cried out, clutching the still form even closer. Her eyes were wild when she looked up at him.
In that moment he knew that she knew.
“Margaret, please let me take him.”
“I’ve got him. Elliot, he just needs me right now. And you can’t blame him. The poor child has been so ill.”
“I want you to come inside now,” he repeated firmly.
“I-” For a moment she looked desperate, then smiled suddenly and said, “All right. But I think it would be best if Jonathon laid down with me.”
“If he’s well, he can sleep in his own bed.”
“No. Elliot, please-”
“Come. Let’s go now.” He reached out to take Jonathon but she slapped his hands away.
“No! I’ll take him inside!”
Elliot was too weary to argue and merely helped her to her feet. She struggled valiantly to carry the son who was nearly as tall as she across the porch. He wondered how she’d gotten him from the bedroom upstairs all the way out here without waking anyone.
As they neared the door Elliot noticed Richard there, tears coursing down his cheeks. How much of this had he witnessed, this tenderhearted young man who had lost two brothers and a sister?
“No!” Margaret screamed as Jonathon slipped from her arms.
Elliot whirled around as his body landed on the wooden planks. He nearly collapsed at the awful thud. Instead he grabbed Margaret, who made to lunge for her son.
“Let me help you inside. I’ll come back for him.”
“No! I can’t let him lay there. Elliot, he’ll get cold!”
“I’ll bring him inside, Mama,” Richard said quietly.
Margaret calmed immediately, patting his face as she allowed Elliot to lead her through the door.
“You’re a good boy, Richard. All of you boys are, aren’t they, Elliot?”
“Indeed,” he murmured, glancing at Richard with gratitude.
“Be careful not to wake Charles and the girls, won’t you?”
“I’ll be careful, Mama.”
~~~
Elliot stood at the window staring at the dark blankets covering the neighb
or’s windows, scoffing at the futility of it. Did they really think that would protect them from the sickness? That they were above the invisible killer? That their pitiful attempts to keep it out would work? That it would pass by their family when it had destroyed his own in such a cruel fashion?
“Elliot?”
He turned quickly when her weak voice, barely audible, reached his ears. Her eyes were actually clear and focused now, and he felt the barest glimmer of hope as he hurried to sit on the edge of the bed.
“Meg,” he said softly, smiling gently at her.
“Elliot-” She ran the tip of her tongue across dry, parched lips.
“Yes, my darling. I’m here.”
“How is the baby?”
“She’s fine. A little smaller than the doctor liked, but he said if we keep her warm and fed, she’ll be just fine. She’s sleeping in Kathleen’s room. Doc Garlington said you can see her when your fever is gone. She’s so beautiful, Meg. So tiny. I’d forgotten how small babies are,” he told her, stroking her cheek. He didn’t think her fever had gone down at all.
“I was sure she’d be a boy. I don’t know what we should name her.”
“We’ll come up with the perfect name when you’re well again.”
“Elliot? Will you do something for me?”
“Anything. Whatever you want, Meg.”
“You must take care of the children.”
“I will,” he promised, reaching out to stroke her cheek, still unbelievably hot from the fever. “Don’t you worry about a thing. Just rest and get well.”
“Elliot.” Her blue eyes stared at him hard. “You must care for Richard, Kathleen, and the baby.”
“I will,” he said again. “Until you’re better. And then we’ll take care of them together.”
“No.” She smiled sadly. “I’m going to watch over Elizabeth, Jonathon and Charles. So you have to promise me-”
“No!” Elliot cried in horror, grasping her shoulders. “We need you here, Meg.”
“I can’t stay.” She was overcome with a fit of coughing, curling into a ball as the spasms shook her, leaving her gasping for air.
Elliot felt panic filling him as he saw the pink froth trickling from the corner of her mouth. The same thing had happened with the children, shortly before death stole them from him. His lungs began to burn and tears filled his eyes. She was slipping away and he was powerless to stop it.
“We’ve lost too much, Meg. You have to fight this. Please! I can’t lose you, too.”
“I watched them, Elliot. It won’t be long now. And then I’ll be with my babies again.”
His throat was closing, cutting off his air and yet, somehow, he continued to breathe.
“No.”
“Promise me, Elliot.”
“You have babies here that need you. I need you!”
“Promise me. Promise me you’ll take care of them.” The stern tone of her voice meant she expected his compliance, that his Meg meant business.
“I promise,” he whispered, the tears spilling over and streaming down his cheeks. She reached up weakly, her hand trembling, and touched his face.
“I love you, Elliot Owens. I have since the first day I saw you. You have made me happier than I ever dreamed. And it hurts to know that our time together must come to an end.”
“Meg-” His shoulders began to shake as the sobs he’d tried so hard to hold back escaped.
“As much as I want to stay here, I want you to live a good, long life even more. To be happy.”
“Not without you. I can’t go on without you.” He had to force the words past the lump that had lodged in his throat, and he cupped her cheek with his hand. “You’re my life, Meg.”
“You will go on, Elliot,” she said firmly. “You will finish raising Richard and the girls the way we planned. You’ll make sure they grow up to be fine adults. You’ll welcome each of our grandchildren, and you’ll tell them, someday, of the uncles and aunt they never got a chance to know. Of the grandmother who wanted to hold and spoil each one of them. And one day, Elliot, when you’ve done all of this for me, the four of us will be waiting to welcome you into heaven.”
Elliot took her hand and pressed its palm against his lips, weeping uncontrollably.
“Shh. It’s all right my dear. I’m not afraid of dying. I don’t want you to be afraid either. You’re a strong man. I know it will be hard for a while, but you’re a strong, good-hearted man. You’ll be fine. Just fine.”
“No, Meg. I can’t do it.”
“You will. I have to go care for part of our family. We need you here to take care of the rest.” Another bout of coughing tore at his heart as she writhed in pain. But she managed to continue, breathlessly. “Someday, Elliot. Someday we’ll all be together again. Forever.”
“Meg-” How was it possible to reach the limit of grief time and again, only to have it climb ever higher?
“Please. Call the children in so I can tell them goodbye.”
“Oh, God. Meg, please! I need you. They need you.”
“Call them, Elliot. Hurry.”
She didn’t say it. But then she didn’t need to. Her time on earth was all but finished. His heart was breaking. Shattering into millions of tiny fragments as he forced himself to leave her side and walk out to the landing.
“Richard. Come up here and bring Kathleen with you,” he called, his voice thick with the sorrow he couldn’t hide.
A long silence followed but, finally, he heard slow footsteps on the stairs and hurried back to his wife’s side.
“They’re coming, Meg,” he told her quietly. She smiled at him gratefully.
It was clear by the guarded expression on Richard’s face that he thought his mother had already died. Kathleen, who had begun to realize the significance of the past few days hid behind her brother, clutching his leg in fear. Elliot motioned them to the bedside.
“Your mother wants to talk to you,” he said, almost inaudibly.
Richard’s shoulders sagged in relief and he pulled Kathleen with him to where his mother lay. Margaret looked up at them with the tender love only a mother could feel, and held her hand out to Kathleen. With a muffled cry she flung herself into Margaret’s arms, burying her face against her neck.
“My sweet, beautiful baby,” she murmured, stroking the soft hair she’d spent countless hours brushing. “You’ll always be a good girl for your papa, won’t you?”
“Yes, Mama.”
“Look at me, darling.” Gently she raised Kathleen’s face and looked at her with such hunger that Elliot knew she was trying to commit the image of it to mind, long enough to last for the duration of Kathleen’s long, happy lifetime. “Mama must go away, Kathleen.”
“Can I come, too?” came the eager response.
“Oh no, sweetheart! No. You must stay and help take care of Papa and Richard and your new baby sister.”
“Where are you going, Mama?” Curious eyes regarded her mother.
“I have to go to Elizabeth, Jonathon and Charles.”
“In the ground?” Fat tears welled in her big blue eyes because she knew that ‘in the ground’ was a bad thing. A very bad thing.
From behind a low, agonized sob came from Richard.
“In heaven, baby,” Margaret said softly.
Heaven? Her face cleared a bit. Heaven was a good place. She laid her head back against her mother’s breast.
“Why can’t I come?”
“Because your father is going to need you here. So will your brother and your sister.”
“They could come, too,” she suggested hopefully. Margaret shook her head, kissing the soft brown hair resting against her chin.
“It’s not time for any of you to come. But I told your papa that we will all be together again someday.”
“Promise?”
“With all my heart. I love you, Kathleen. I want you to remember that. Always.”
She looked up at Richard then. His sobs were quiet, though he trembled almost viole
ntly. Margaret stretched her hand out to his.
“Come here, son.” She tugged him with what little strength she had left and he eased down beside his sister. “Let me hold you.”
Crying harder, he laid his head on her shoulder. Elliot watched the scene, his heart twisting painfully in his chest.
“Richard.” She stroked his hair with her free hand. “Things won’t be easy for a while. But I have faith in you. You’re a strong young man and you’re going to do very well.”
“Mama, no!” The high pitch to his voice sounded everything but strong.
“Shh. Shh. I’m sorry. So very sorry. Shh.”
Elliot wished he could ease some of his son’s pain but didn’t even know what to do about his own.
~~~
“Here, let me help you,” Daniel said softly, sitting on the edge of the bed and helping to arrange the tray on Nina’s lap.
“I’m fine,” she assured him, but though the dark shadows beneath her eyes were disappearing, she still looked tired. He wasn’t taking any chances with her.
“I know you are. But I still want to help.” And he did, spooning small bites of oatmeal for her. The doctor had warned him to feed her soft foods for about a week, to give her throat a chance to heal from the violent coughing.
“That’s good. You’re spoiling me, Daniel.”
“I hope so, because that’s my plan.” He leaned forward and kissed her brow. “I really thought I lost you, Nina. I’ve never felt so scared or alone in my life.” He watched at tears filled her eyes and she reached up to stroke his cheek.
“I’m sorry. I wish I could have spared you that.”
“As long as you’re here now. That’s all that matters,” he said fervently. “I don’t know what I would have done if you’d really died.”
“Don’t laugh at me but- I- I think I might have,” she admitted slowly, looking at him through her lashes.
“What?”
“I think I might have died.”
“No, you’re here, sweetheart. You didn’t die.”
“It didn’t feel like a dream.”
“What didn’t? Here, eat this.” He fed her another bite of the cereal.
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