by Cora Seton
He wasn’t that kid anymore.
He was an experienced man of the world.
He was.
But an experienced man of the world wouldn’t have ducked down beneath the dash when she passed—to avoid catching her attention. Wouldn’t have pretended there was something fascinating in the footwell on the passenger side. Wouldn’t have peeped up to make sure the coast was clear. Wouldn’t have gusted a sigh of relief—or regret—that it was.
Because damn.
She was gone. Again.
It had taken only a glimpse to tip his world on its end. It wasn’t fair that a mere glance at her could do this to him. Not now. Not after all these years.
The last time he’d seen her had been at the spring dance his senior year, before he’d enlisted. She’d been in his brother’s arms, gazing up at Cody with an adoring expression as they twirled through the shimmering lights showering the auditorium. The sight had been too painful to bear.
He’d had to turn away.
He’d had to leave.
Oh, he got why he couldn’t have her. He got why she would pick his brother over him—what girl wouldn’t? But he hadn’t needed to stay. He hadn’t wanted to see it.
And so he hadn’t.
He’d turned around and kept on going. He’d enlisted in the marines and hadn’t come back to Snake Gully for years. Even though she and Cody broke up that long-ago summer. Even though she’d moved away.
Now he was back.
And so, apparently, was she.
And damn, but she was still as beautiful. Her skin as clear. Her features as exquisite. She was slimmer than she’d been in high school, but her curves still packed a punch. Her hair was a rumpled welter of curls that tempted a man to sink his fingers in and hold her still for a kiss. And her lips… Ah, there was that. Perfectly formed in a seductive moue with a tantalizing Cupid’s bow arch.
It hardly mattered, he reminded himself as he grabbed his jacket and levered out of the truck. Even though he wasn’t the stupid dork he’d been all those years ago, he still wasn’t the man for her and he never would be.
Lisa was married now. It behooved him to remember that. He’d been deployed when he learned of her marriage to Guy Christie, some hotshot Dallas lawyer. The news had ravaged him.
She lived the high life, jet-setting around the world and doing charity events that occasionally made the news—even out here in the boonies. And Cade was a wounded vet who co-owned a struggling ranch on the outskirts of the Podunkiest town in Texas. They didn’t even live in the same universe anymore. He kind of doubted they ever had.
But at least she hadn’t married Cody.
That would have fucking killed him.
Not just because Cody always seemed to have everything come to him so easily, or because he was able to turn every woman’s head. Or because he was by far the better looking of the two of them.
If Lisa had married his brother, Cade wouldn’t have ever come home. It would have been too hard to see the two of them together. Like that.
Thrusting all thoughts of Lisa from his mind, he pushed through the door of the Five and Dime to the familiar tinkle of the bell and waved at Sweet Sally, who was helping Mabel Ostrom pick out a hemorrhoid cream. The conversation between the two elderly women made him shudder, but that was the beauty of living in a small town, he supposed. Everyone knew, with no doubts whatsoever, exactly who had hemorrhoids.
“How you doing, Cade?” Little Willie asked as Cade passed the counter. Little Willie wasn’t little, but he had been once. In a town like Snake Gully, it was hard to shake off the past. Prickly things like nicknames tended to cling.
“Doing fine, Willie,” he called as he headed for the chips and dip; it was his turn to provide the snacks for the quarterly training of the volunteer fire department. For the first time in months, he had a weekend off and he was looking forward to hanging out with his buddies at the firehouse. While he split his time between the ranch and his volunteer firefighting, he knew which one he enjoyed more. Especially now that the Double S had turned into such a zoo. He collected what he needed and headed back to the counter.
“How’s business at the ranch?”
God. Cade hated the lurid warble in Willie’s voice. It hadn’t been his idea to turn their father’s dream into a part-time strip club. His brother Cody had been the genius behind the venture of bussing in strippers and horny housewives on the weekends. To Cody’s credit, those parties had saved the ranch. Tattered their reputation in a conservative town, but saved the ranch.
“Things are great, Willie,” Cade said as he dropped his items on the counter.
“I’ll bet they are.” Big, bushy brows waggled. He leaned in, so Sally couldn’t hear him hiss, “I bet you get laid all the time, all those wild city girls crawling all over the place.”
Cade didn’t have the heart to tell him their customers weren’t only from Dallas. More than one local girl had come to visit the Stud Ranch—but he would never reveal their names. They’d all sworn him to secrecy. And in his mind, customers were customers. They certainly weren’t there to tangle with him, not when they could rub up against a handsome, muscled dancer…who didn’t have any visible scars. But Willie was looking at him hopefully, so he forced a smile and said, “How much do I owe you?”
Judging from his expression, Willie took the evasion as a confession and chuckled as he rang up and bagged the items. Which was just fine. No one needed to know the truth about Cade’s love life.
Hell, even Cade didn’t want to think about it.
It felt like escape as he stepped out onto the street. He stowed the snacks in his truck and headed for Bubba’s Bar and Grill, where he was meeting his friend, Ford, for a drink before joining the guys at the station.
As he stepped into the B&G, it took a minute for his eyes to adjust to the dimness. It was only Friday afternoon, but the bar side of the establishment was already humming. Several of the tables were full and most of the stools. A couple of games were underway at the billiards tables in the back. Almost all the patrons wore worn Stetsons and dusty boots. Many of them lifted a hand in greeting.
Everyone knew your name in Snake Gully. Of course, they knew your history too. And your shoe size. And probably which magazines you subscribed to. But after years away, living his life in military anonymity, nothing more than another pair of boots on the ground, Cade found he really enjoyed the sense of community, connectedness.
He spotted Ford at a table in the back and winced.
Damn. Cody was with him.
Normally, that wouldn’t faze him. Cade and his brother got along…most of the time—they damn well better, since they shared a house. But today, after seeing Lisa, he was a little raw. He thought about slinking away and going straight to the firehouse but Cody saw him and waved.
Too late.
Cade set his teeth, fixed a smile on his face and headed over.
Ford and their buddy Wayne were engaged in an animated discussion about the pros and cons of a new baler but greeted him with nods. As he took his seat, Cody nudged him with an elbow. “Hey, we’re hosting a poker game tonight. Our place.”
Cade poured himself a beer from the pitcher. “Ah… I’m not coming home tonight.”
“What do you mean? Don’t you want to play poker with us?” Cody said.
Cade ignored his brother’s frown and lifted his beer to his lips. “Not tonight,” he said. “I got plans.”
The chatter at the table descended into silence. The crack of balls from the pool tables twined with the Blake Shelton twang on the jukebox.
Cade realized they were all gaping at him, waiting for him to elaborate. He let them gape.
Cody was the first to break. His brother leaned forward and pinned Cade with what was probably supposed to be a glower. “What do you mean, you have plans? You don’t have a date, do you?” There was no call for Cody to ask in that tone. As though it would be inconceivable for Cade to have a date. Even though it probably was. He didn’
t have much of a social life. But then, he never had.
There was hardly a point. Cody dated enough for both of them. Aside from which, after a woman got a gander at his brother’s movie star good looks, well, Cade faded into the background. Always had. Always would. And the scars on his face from an unfortunate run-in with an IED didn’t help. It didn’t matter that they’d faded; Cade was still very aware of them.
“Do you? Do you have a date?” Wayne waggled his brows.
“No.” The word hardly burned at all. Cade shot a look around Bubba’s Bar and Grill, but only because he didn’t feel like meeting their eyes. “I’ve got training tomorrow. Going to hit the hay early.” He glanced at his brother. “Staying the night at the station.”
“Shoot.” Cody rolled his beer between his palms. “I was kind of hoping you could be my designated driver.”
“Not tonight.”
“What’s the point of having a brother who’s a freaking Eagle Scout if he won’t be your designated driver?”
Ford rolled his eyes. “Are you going to start whining about that again? You could have made rank too if you’d been more dedicated.”
Cody grimaced. “You sound like my dad.”
“You were only a couple badges away.”
“Maybe I didn’t want to be an Eagle Scout.” He waved at Cade in what could be interpreted as a dismissive manner. “Maybe I didn’t want to be a war hero.”
“I’m not a hero…” No such thing anymore.
“Maybe I didn’t want to be Mr. Perfect.”
Hardly perfect. And if Cade was all those things—except perfect—it was for one reason and one reason only. He’d always had to try harder, strive more diligently, struggle, to measure up to Cody.
His brother put out a lip. “This is the first weekend in months we haven’t had a party at the ranch. I was looking forward to a friendly poker game.”
Ford snorted.
Cody glared at him. “What was that for?”
“The games are hardly friendly.”
“They are too.”
Wayne snorted as well. It was an epidemic. “You always win.”
Cody showed his perfect pearly teeth. “What’s wrong with that?”
And yes, more snorts.
“No one wants to play with someone who always, mysteriously, wins.”
The conversation played on, the guys ribbing Cody relentlessly, and as enjoyable as that might have been, Cade’s thoughts drifted off, to other things.
Lisa, specifically.
He wondered what she was doing here, how long she’d stay, and if he might have the opportunity to see her again. And if he did, what would he say? He’d been a tall, skinny dweeb in high school, too intimidated to talk to her, but he wasn’t that shy kid now. Now he could talk to her.
He vowed if he did have the chance, he would.
He almost believed it.
Chapter Two
‡
Some things never changed.
One of those things, apparently, was Snake Gully.
Lisa Binder stared down the short strip of road that was the glorious downtown. The Five and Dime. The pizza joint. Bubba’s Bar and Grill.
When she’d been a kid, growing up on these dusty streets, she’d been filled with hopes and dreams of what life could be like. She’d been convinced everything would turn out just peachy.
But it hadn’t. Had it?
She wasn’t sure why—when faced with the implosion of the life she’d built—she’d chosen to come back here, of all places. Probably because this was the one place she’d been happy. Somewhere in the deep well of her soul, she imagined she might be happy once again.
It was probably foolish of her to yearn for some imaginary world, a world where life was simple and sweet. Where men were strong and devoted and could be trusted. A world where a dad didn’t come home smelling of some other woman’s perfume and break a mom’s heart. Where family meant something. Where divorce didn’t shatter a woman’s dreams.
Snake Gully seemed like it could be a part of that world, with the whitewashed church and the clean streets. Trimmed yards speckled with perky flowers. Small towns were archetypes of clean ethics. Morals. Standards.
Of happy-ever-afters.
But that was an illusion, wasn’t it?
There was no such thing as a happy-ever-after, not when you counted on someone else to provide it for you.
And really, that was why she was here. To forge her own life. To make her own happy ending. To take charge of the reins. To captain her own destiny.
She was done with giving someone else control—giving Guy control. Done with allowing him the power to hurt her, again and again.
She was done with men.
And who could blame her? She’d awakened one day to the horrifying realization that she was turning into her mother.
Her mother had always attracted faithless men—an endless stream of them, starting with Lisa’s father. Each one of her relationships had ended with a cheating man and a broken marriage. And now, the pattern was repeating itself with Lisa. But hell, now that she thought about it, it went back much further than this debacle with Guy. She’d caught her very first boyfriend kissing another girl behind the bleachers. She should have known then.
Maybe all men were faithless philanderers.
Or maybe she had a genetic tic that drew them to her like filings to a magnet.
Regardless. Whatever.
She was done with men. Or relationships at the very least. She was hardly a nun. If she happened to come upon a man who caught her fancy, she might play with him. But playtime only. Nothing more. She couldn’t risk hoping for anything as stupid as forever, because she knew how that would turn out.
She’d settle here in this façade of a perfect town, open her pastry shop and become a spinster cat lady.
She liked cats. Didn’t she?
At any rate, she would be happy, because she decided she would.
“Excuse me?” A lilting voice startled Lisa from her dark reflections. She turned to find a perky blonde gazing at her. Her eyes widened. “Oh my God. Lisa Binder. It is you! I thought so. I’m Claire Silver. Do you remember me?”
Lisa gaped. Remember her? Of course she did. They’d been best friends for years, although things had gotten weird when she’d started dating Claire’s brother…and then broken up with him. “Claire!” She pulled her friend into a hug. And how wonderful, how welcoming it was to see a familiar face.
“It’s great to see you,” Claire said and then she urged her companion, a petite brunette with elfin features, forward. “Do you know Porsche McCoy?”
She kind of remembered the younger girl. Vaguely. “Isn’t Ford your brother?” Him, she remembered from high school. Who wouldn’t? He’d been one of the star players on the football team.
Porsche grinned. “Yep.”
“Wow. And how is he?”
The grin widened. “He’s getting married.”
“How wonderful.” A lie. In her experience marriages were precursors to disaster, but she kept her opinions to herself.
“So, what are you doing in town?” Claire asked.
“Ah, my grandmother died.”
Claire’s face fell. “Right. I forgot. I’m sorry. I liked her.”
She had been wonderful. Lisa’s rock. “She left me her house. I…I’m thinking about moving here.” A shiver walked through her as she said the words aloud for the first time. A certain…rightness settled in her soul.
“Oh my God, that would be wonderful.”
“The house needs a lot of work, though, so I’m staying at the motel.”
Claire wrinkled her nose. “That dive? You should come stay at the ranch.”
Lisa’s stomach dropped. Stay at the Double S? See Cody every day? No, thank you. “That’s so sweet, but I think I’d like to be closer to town. If I decide to stay, I’ll have a lot of work to do setting up my business.”
“What kind of business?” Porsche asked.
> “A bakery.” It was her passion. Guy had called it a waste of time.
Claire’s eyes brightened. “This town needs a bakery. I do hope you decide to stay.”
With this welcome, it was tempting.
Claire hooked her arm in Lisa’s and tugged her along the street. “We’re going for dinner at the B&G. Would you join us?” As though she was giving Lisa a choice. But then, knowing Claire, she rarely did.
“I’d love that.”
And the funny thing was, it was true.
The B&G was just as she remembered it. Bar on one side, restaurant on the other. The fragrant, familiar odor of food frying in a basket. Amazing burgers that made her tongue weep.
Lisa had a wonderful chat with Claire and Porsche while they ate a decadent meal containing more calories than she would normally eat in a week. It was great fun reminiscing and catching up with the characters in town. She was surprised at how much she laughed.
The tales of what had become of the Double S were particularly hysterical. Claire’s brothers had turned it into a strip ranch and some of the stories she told had Lisa holding her sides.
Halfway through the meal, she excused herself to visit the ladies’ room, which was in the back on the bar side. Unlike the brightly lit restaurant, the bar was murky and dim and smelled of hops. It was full of men in cowboy hats and faded chambray. Country music wailed from the jukebox. It was so cliché, it put a smile on her lips.
But then she caught sight of a familiar face, and her smile froze.
She ducked her head and hurried into the room marked Cowgirls. Damn. Why did Cody have to be here?
Though any tender feelings she’d once had for him were dead and gone, the mortification of seeing the boy she thought she loved dry humping another girl behind the bleachers was still sharp. Of course, it was probably magnified by the fact that, not too long ago, she’d caught her husband doing the same. Though that humping had been far more graphic. Bare asses and elbows.
On her bed.
On sheets she’d bought.
It still galled her, but at least the divorce was finalized. She could let it go. Let it all go. Regardless, she didn’t want to face Cody. Not yet. She would eventually, if she decided to stay. It was a small town, after all. But please, God, not on her first day.
