“Please let me go, Ryan. This is insane!” I said, trying to keep my voice down so that I didn’t trigger any more anger in him. Ryan took in a deep breath and shook his head slowly. Like I was a child, and I had done something naughty to disappoint him.
“This is our destiny, Ensley. You and I were always supposed to be together. You shouldn’t have run away from me,” he said, and turning from me, he went and sat down on the edge of the bed, making himself comfortable for what he thought was going to be a long heart-to-heart.
***
“You know how long I’ve been searching for you?” Ryan asked, placing his hands on his knees as he looked at me. I could feel my breath catch in my throat. I couldn’t speak in fear and anger, and I had no interest in replying to him.
“I had no idea where you were,” he added and I glared at him with rage.
“I had a restraining order against you,” I retorted, to which he laughed and then shook his head.
“That was a silly thing to do, wasn’t it, sweetness? It made finding you even harder for me,” he said.
Had he gone absolutely crazy or was he just drunk? I couldn’t figure it out. Ryan had always been somewhat over the top with his obsession, but now it seemed like he had reached the tipping point and fallen over the edge. He had reached a stage where he had become dangerous.
“I didn’t know if you were in New York or where the fuck you had disappeared to,” he added, and I bit my tongue before I could say; that was the point!
I just remained sitting silently on the chair, glaring at him while he spoke.
“Nobody will ever love you or want you, the way I do, Ensley. I know everything about you, every broken bit and I still love you,” he said, and now I couldn’t bite back any longer.
“That is not true!” I yelled and then clamped my mouth shut again. I didn’t want him bringing his knife out again.
Ryan’s eyes widened as he stared at me. Then clenching his fists like he was about to punch something, he spoke through gritted teeth.
“You think that biker guy is in love with you? He’s using you for your body, sweetness. When will you get that in your head? Every man who has looked at you has only wanted one thing. Your body and that tight pussy of yours,” he said, and his gaze traveled down my body to the spot between my thighs. I was pressing my legs together, hoping that he wouldn’t force himself on me. He jerked his face up to look into my eyes again.
“But not me. Not me, Ensley. I’ve wanted you because I love you,” he said, and I shook my head, my eyes were wide and rapt with anger.
“And you took away my freedom and my safety. You hit me!” I said, trying to keep my voice down.
Ryan stood up from the bed.
“And you think those biker guys are keeping you safe? You saw how easy it was for me to walk right past them and take you away. You are safe now, sweetness. Here with me,” he said and coming forward to me, he crouched down in front of me.
Thorn had sat like that in front of me too when he’d reached for my hand and comforted me. With Ryan, I didn’t feel an ounce of that same comfort. I hated him with fury. I wanted to hurt him the way he had hurt me!
“I want you to let me go,” I said, my voice was in a hiss, and he reached for my knee. Slowly, he started stroking my legs, and I could feel chills running up and down my spine. If my hands were free, I would have used them to slap him, but now instead, I started pulling against the chords.
“There’s no use struggling, Ensley. You know you’re going to stay here with me, for as long as I want you to,” he said, and a smile started spreading on his face.
“How did you find me? How did you know where I was?” the words burst out of me and he shook his head again like I had said something stupid.
“I saw you on TV, babe. It was simple. You couldn’t keep your whore face away from the limelight, and I couldn’t stay away from you,” he said and started straightening himself up over me.
“If you’d just listened to me in the first place, and stayed away from that precious little career of yours; none of this would have happened. See? I told you I know best,” he said.
I spat at him and then screamed. I couldn’t just keep sitting there and taking his abuse anymore. I screamed until my lungs hurt, and until I felt his hand lash against my cheek.
He had knocked the breath out of me, and my face was jerked to the side. I could feel the sting of his hand on my cheek, and I felt like I couldn’t breathe anymore.
“You just need to relax, Ensley. We’re going to be here for a while. Settle down, sweetness,” he said and then, he tugged my face back towards him. He was smiling again, even though there were tears pouring down my cheeks. My lips were quivering, my nostrils were flared, and I wanted to find the words I could fling at him that would really hurt him.
Ryan reached his hand out and started stroking my hair, in the same motion that Thorn had done, but this time, I wasn’t comforted. Neither did I feel safe. I wanted to get away from him. I wanted him to stop touching me.
I looked up at him, with tears in my eyes and another scream rising up in my chest. I couldn’t scream again though because I knew the next time, it would be more than just a slap. The next time, he would bring his knife out and make me bleed.
I cowered from him, as he kept stroking my hair.
“Beautiful, sweet Ensley. Doesn’t know what she’s gotten herself into, does she?” he murmured to himself, and now I was sure that he had lost his mind. This was not the same man I thought I was in love with five years ago.
Chapter 25
Thorn
The guys were all standing around me. I hadn’t asked them to, but they had followed me to the hotel room near Ensley’s apartment. Brooks was missing, but I didn’t have the headspace to think about where he might have been.
Topher, Jamison, and Beckett were standing over me, watching me as I fumed. I kept cracking my knuckles and muttering to myself. For the first time in my life, I was feeling helpless, and I didn’t know what to do with myself in that situation.
That asshole had her. That cowardly psychopath had kidnapped the only woman who had made me feel alive, and I couldn’t do anything about it.
“I’ll kill him myself,” I growled after there had been silence in the room for several minutes.
“We have to find him first,” Beckett stated, and I glared at him, throwing daggers at him with my eyes.
I cracked my knuckles again and watched Jamison as he ran his hand through his hair. I could sense that he hadn’t stopped feeling guilty about everything that had happened and I wasn’t sure if I had forgiven him fully yet either.
“If he fucking touches her, I’ll kill him,” I growled again, and I caught the guys exchanging looks.
“So, what do we do now, boss?” Topher asked, and I shook my head.
“Call Church,” I commanded, and they exchanged looks again.
“This is Church. I called it because you told me to, remember?” he replied, and I stared at him blankly. I realized that I was feeling more lost now than I had felt before.
“Where the fuck is Brooks?” I growled, and he shrugged his shoulders.
I jumped up from the chair and walked to the wall and punched it. I needed to feel the pain shoot up my arm. I was trying to knock some sense into myself.
“Okay, Thorn, Boss, you need to calm down and tell us what to do. We want to get the guy just as much as you do,” Topher said, and I whipped around to him, charging at him in full force. Topher took a step back from me, suddenly surprised by my behavior.
“No, you fucking don’t!” I barked at him, and he looked back at me with a question in his eyes. I knew what he wanted to ask me. Why I cared so fucking much about a client, but he didn’t dare ask me that.
“Fuck, Jamison, why did you leave the door?” it was Beckett who asked that, and we all turned to look at Jamison who ran his hand through his hair again.
“I don’t know. I was an idiot. It’s all my fucking fault
,” he said, and I clenched my jaws.
“No, it’s not. It’s all our faults. We should have been prepared. We should have anticipated that fucker’s next move. We took him for granted. We thought he was just a deranged loony,” I growled, and Jamison was looking at me gratefully.
I knew what the consequences were when your brothers start blaming you for something gone wrong. I knew Jamison had slipped up, but I didn’t want him to face the consequences for that for a lifetime. I was going to forgive him this time and hope that he didn’t fuck up like this again.
“Did she give you anything? Any clues about where he might have taken her?” Beckett asked me, and I shook my head.
“She had no idea where he was or what he had been up to in the past five years since she left New York. We didn’t even know for sure if he was in LA,” I said and clenched the fist that I had punched into the wall. I could still feel the sting of the force, and it made me feel good. I wanted that fist to break Ryan’s jaw. He had taken Ensley out of her bedroom, out of her home and now he was going to have to pay for it.
I was going to find him and make sure he never touched a hair on her body again.
“So how are we going to find this fucker?” Topher asked, just as there was a rap on the hotel door. We exchanged looks, and Beckett pulled out the gun he had stuffed in his belt. Jamison approached the door and looked through the peephole.
“It’s Brooks,” he said, rolling his eyes and opened the door to our brother.
Brooks walked into the hotel room, and I immediately charged at him.
“Where the fuck have you been? We were all supposed to be on duty, watching Ensley’s apartment. Do you even know that he’s taken her?” I was barking at Brooks who was watching me intently, listening to every word that was spitting out of my mouth.
When I was finished, he took in a deep breath and stuck his hands into the pockets of his jeans.
“Yeah, I heard. Topher told me. I wasn’t here because you ordered me to do some digging and my shift didn’t start till five in the morning. Remember?” he hissed at me. We were both glaring at each other.
“And if you have to bark at someone, do it at Jamison. From what I hear, he’s the one who couldn’t control his nicotine cravings when he needed to. If he hadn’t disappeared for so long, that bastard wouldn’t have been able to walk into her apartment,” Brooks continued through gritted teeth, and I stepped angrily towards him.
I didn’t know who or what I was angry at anymore. All I knew was that I needed to hit someone, punch something again, so I could get the rage out of my body.
“Okay, we need to take a step back. Thorn, Brooks, let it go. We’re all here now, and we need to work as a team!” Beckett had stepped in between us, and he was trying to catch both our gazes so he could talk some sense into us.
I stepped away from them, clenching my jaw in the hopes that I’d be able to calm myself. I didn’t need to pick a fight with one of my brothers. We were all on the same side. We had slipped up, but I needed all their help to get Ensley back.
Brooks nodded his head slowly, with his eyes still on me, and pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket. He held it up, and I could see that there was an address scribbled on it.
“I got into his bank account,” he said, and I narrowed my eyes at him. What did an address have to do with his bank account?
“And anything there we can use?” Jamison stepped up to us now, and Brooks turned to look at him.
“I noticed a transaction at a motel off the 405. Four nights in a row. That’s where he’s living,” Brooks continued, and I could feel a renewed surge of energy in my veins again.
“Or at least was living before he took her,” Beckett added.
“It doesn’t matter. That is where we’re going,” I cut in, and I grabbed the piece of paper out of Brooks’ hand. I could sense him staring at me while I read the address over and over again. When I looked up, I met his eyes and nodded my head.
“Good job, brother. We might find her with this,” I said and finally, he grinned. He stretched his hand out to me, and I shook it. I had lost myself there for a few minutes. Losing Ensley was making me turn on my brothers, making me doubt everything I knew and trusted. What was this effect she was having on me?
Whatever it was, I knew I had never felt it before.
We stormed out of the hotel and got on our bikes. Together, we were riding towards the motel off the 405, and whatever happened, I was determined to find Ensley tonight. Whatever it took. I wasn’t going to let him keep her for a moment longer, now that I knew where he had been living all these days in LA.
Ensley’s beautiful heart-shaped face floated up in front of me as I rode my bike hard. Her luscious pink lips, those sparkling green eyes, and her silky smooth golden hair. I wanted her in my arms again. I wanted to hold her and tell her that I would take care of her. I wanted to fall on my knees and beg for her forgiveness for fucking up.
Would she ever be able to trust me again? She had hired me because she had complete faith in me and I had broken my promise to her, to keep her safe.
I could feel my veins pumping with rage and adrenaline as I rode my bike hard towards our destination.
There was nothing I wouldn’t do to get her back.
Chapter 26
Ensley
Since I regained consciousness in the motel room, Ryan had been leaving and coming back in intervals. I had no idea where he was going, and I didn’t want to ask him either. I was afraid of what he was going to tell me, but I could sense that he was making plans for our escape. I knew that he wanted to take me away from LA, somewhere Thorn and the Grim Reapers couldn’t find us.
Every time he left, I tried to loosen my hands from the chords, but I hadn’t been successful yet. Ryan had tied it tightly around my wrists, and he had done a very good job of it.
He was back from his prowl now and was taking clothes out of the closet and his scattered possessions around the motel room, and piling them into a bag.
“Are you going somewhere?” I asked him, and he jerked his head up to look at me. There was an evil glimmer in his eyes, and he was grinning like I had said something funny.
“You’re coming with me, sweetness. Wherever I go, you go,” Ryan said and folding a t-shirt neatly, he stuffed it into the bag.
I gulped, my throat felt suddenly dry, but I said nothing. Not only did I not have the energy to protest, but I also knew that I had to play nice. It was the only way that I could avoid being hit by him again. As long as I was with him, as long as he was holding me captive; I had no other choice but to play along with him.
Then maybe, I might be able to win some of his trust and give Thorn some time to find me. I hadn’t lost hope yet. I trusted Thorn with my life, and I knew that he was out there, doing everything he could to find me. I didn’t blame him or his club for the kidnapping. It was all my fault. I shouldn’t have opened the door without checking. I shouldn’t have been so foolish as to not look through the peephole before I let someone in through my door. Now, my only hope was that Ryan would let me stay alive, long enough for Thorn to find me. For that to happen, I needed to keep the conversation going with him.
“You know, sweetness, if you didn’t fight me so much, we could have a normal life together. You could get all dolled up right now, and we could go for a nice meal somewhere and catch up,” Ryan had forgotten about packing up, and he was stepping towards me again.
I flinched as I watched him approaching me. I hated him. I was disgusted by him, and his body and I didn’t want him anywhere near me. But I also had nowhere to go. I looked up at him, forcing a weak smile on my face.
“Let’s do it then. Let’s go somewhere and get a drink, we need to talk this through,” I suggested, hopeful that he might take the binds off, that he might let me out of this place. If I got the opportunity to get out of this motel room, I would do everything I could to get away from him.
Ryan was still grinning as he came to a stop in front of me.
“How stupid do you think I am, Ensley? I can see it in your eyes. You’re going to make a run for it, the first opportunity you get. You don’t get it yet. You don’t get how good this is,” he said, and that smile on his face turned into an ugly rage.
I shook my head.
“No, I won’t run. I promise, Ryan. I know that you’re going through something dark and you need my help. You need someone to talk to. I’m here for you, I want us to work this out,” I was begging him. I was so close to convincing him to let my binds off. Ryan clenched his jaw, and I watched as his nostrils flared.
“You want to talk? Let’s talk then. Why did you fucking leave me?” he yelled. I flinched again, gulped and tried to keep myself steady. I knew that the more I fought him off, the more I insulted him-the angrier he would get.
“I had to go because you hurt me, Ryan!” I said, my voice was screechy, and he shook his head.
“I didn’t hurt you. I was keeping you in place, and I’ll fucking hit you again if you step out of line!” he charged towards me and bunched up some of my hair in his fist. I squealed and started crying again, afraid that he was going to hurt me, but he let my hair go and stepped away from me.
“So tell me, Ensley, what are you getting from that idiot that I couldn’t give you?” I heard him say.
I looked up at him hesitantly, meeting his blazing eyes. I knew he was talking about Thorn. How long had he been watching us? How long was he watching my apartment?
“We are not together. I just hired him as a bodyguard,” I said, in a weak voice and Ryan threw his head back and laughed menacingly.
“Is that why he’s been spending nights at your place? Keeping guard over you while you sleep?” he spat the words out, and I bit down on my lip, trying to keep the cry from rising up in my throat.
“I just want to go home, Ryan, please just let me go home,” I was begging him again, and I couldn’t stop. I was exhausted and cold and afraid. He hadn’t given me anything to eat or drink, and I knew it was because he didn’t want me energized. The weaker I was, the more difficult it would be for me to fight him.
Fox (The Road Rebels MC Book 4) Page 54
