She took his hand and pulled him down beside her. “I love you, Erik.”
“I love you too.” His fingers drifted into her hair and he gave her the sweetest kiss.
She pushed him back gently. “Stop worrying. I need the time to process. Running the shop will take my mind off everything. I need this.”
“I’ll let you two be,” Armand stated before kissing her and hugging Erik. Then he let himself out.
Erik stood and pulled her to her feet.
“Let me hold you at least.”
She smiled sadly. “How about you make love to me instead?” Maybe he could wash away the sense of betrayal. She hoped like hell he could because living without him didn’t seem possible.
He pulled her with him and stopped before the bed. There he took his time removing her dress and undergarments, before sitting her down on the edge of the mattress.
Monique opened his shirt, staring up into his dark eyes. He watched her with so much sad tenderness. She needed his love, his desire, to forget he refused her only request.
She trailed her fingers back up his abs and chest, then pushed the shirt off his shoulders before caressing down his stomach to open his pants.
He caught her hands as he knelt between her thighs and kissed her palms. “Let me take it all away,” Erik murmured.
“Please. Ease the pain.”
He smiled softly, before kissing his way up her thigh and spreading her lips before licking through her heat. He nuzzled and sucked, building her pleasure slowly, wiping away all thought as he worshiped her body.
Climax rose up and crashed over her. Tears filled her eyes as he moved her up the bed, kissing a path to her mouth. Everything seemed to be falling apart and she wanted him to glue her back together.
Her mother’s oldest warnings danced through her head. Erik would soon be a full-fledged Silver Council enforcer. He didn’t belong with an enchanter. He belonged with his own type. What he was doing had the potential to change the Council for the better, but Monique was a distraction.
Not to mention Mother came to Erik. There was no doubt in her mind. And he wouldn’t even admit she tried to tell Monique something. Part of her understood, but mostly, the knowledge broke her heart.
His lips brushed over hers and she opened, welcoming him in. Her heart swelled and constricted, threatening to shatter to slivers.
His lips trailed over her neck, to her mouth. He whispered against her lips, “I love you, Mon.”
“Make love to me,” she answered, praying he could make her forget the war waging in her head.
He kissed her again, sliding into her heat. His magic danced along her skin, calling to her own. Sensation flowed over her body, tripping every pleasure spot.
He owned her heart, her soul, and still, it wasn’t enough to save them. She took everything he gave her but his duplicity threatened to tear her in half.
“Love you,” he whispered again, pushing her into release with him.
She clung to his head, kissing him as if she needed his air to live.
Rolling to his side, he gathered her in his arms and pulled her close. “Trust me, Monique. Your mother won’t come back the way you want. Trust me, love. Please.”
“Why won’t you tell me what you know?”
He sighed.
She leaned back to look into his eyes. “Tell me what she said when she came here.”
He looked into her eyes and watched as his heart broke. “She’s angry. She blames all mages. She blames me because I’m close enough to a mage for her to hate. She wanted me to let her into my body to talk to you.”
Her mouth popped open as she stared.
Erik shook his head. “I won’t do that for anyone, no matter how much I love them.”
She climbed from the bed and pulled on her clothes.
He followed her, turning her toward him. “Monique, I can’t let her in. That will only open me up to worse things than spirits. You get that, don’t you?”
“Yeah, but you could have told me!” she shouted.
“She was yelling at me, blaming me, calling me horrible things.” Tears glistened in his eyes. “Do you really want to hear all the hateful things your mother has always thought of me? Especially after her murder, when she wants to lump me with the mages?”
“You work for them! You train with them! Of course she thinks that.” She pulled away and shoved her feet into her shoes.
“Do you think that?”
“No.” She closed her eyes, deflating. “No. But you should have told me.”
“Maybe, but I worried that in your grief, you would insist I break my own code. That she would tell you everything in her power to rip us apart.”
She couldn’t even argue. And she would have begged him to risk himself. She almost did anyway. But she grasped onto a shred of hope. “There are other ways.”
“That are no better, Monique. Yeah, I could reanimate her for a time. And that never goes as the loved one expects. Especially when she’s livid about something that had nothing to do with mages and everything to do with an entitled bitch.”
She sank onto a chair and looked away.
Erik continued, “She wouldn’t have told you how much she loves you, and to be happy, and to move on. She would have told you how much she hates me, how much I’m to blame, why you should never trust any of us. And I’m not even a fucking mage. Something I’m constantly reminded of by mages.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Eventually, when she accepts the fact she’s gone, and that it wasn’t me, I would be willing. There comes a time when the dead finally see. She’s not there yet. She’d only hurt you. I’m trying to protect you from the ugly side of the afterlife.”
“You could have told me that,” she whispered.
“And you would have still begged and ripped my heart out because I would have caved. I would have done it, and you would have still been pissed at me. Don’t you get it? I’ve done this before. It would have only hurt you. There’s no outcome where you aren’t hurt.”
“I had the right to know that up-front.”
“You wouldn’t listen. You aren’t now. I didn’t want to tear you open when you were already mourning her loss.”
“I love you, Erik. I always have. But you ripped us apart by not just telling me the truth.”
“I hate keeping secrets, but sometimes it’s better. One day, you’ll see that.”
“I hope so, because right now I don’t.” She stood and took her purse. “I’m going to my father’s.”
“Monique, don’t do this. Please,” he called.
“Don’t come after me. I need to think this through.”
He took her arms and pulled her against his body. “Not like this. You asked. I told you. It kills me to be in this position. You have no idea how much I hate being in the middle. And it’s worse because I know what you’d go through.”
“You have no idea how hurt I am knowing you think I’m still a stupid little girl who couldn’t be trusted with the truth.” She shoved him back and walked out. Her heart broke as she hurried down the stairs, skipping the elevator.
Chapter 12
Erik sat in the cafeteria at lunch, staring at the food on his plate. His appetite fled with Monique.
Gwen sat down beside him. One of the few mages who openly accepted he was something other than a mage. Then again, she was with another necromancer. Coltrain was an ass, but Erik did learn to hone a few of his own talents by watching the other man push boundaries he shouldn’t have.
The guy was dangerous—half crazed. He listened too closely to the spirits. And Gwen loved the fucker.
Not that he wanted to explore anything more than friendship with Gwen. She was easy to talk to and didn’t judge. It was why he liked talking to her. She’d helped him figure out how to approach various things over the years. She understood in a way that most didn’t.
“What’s the matter, Erik
?” she asked.
“I fucked up.” He sighed and looked over at her. “Monique’s pissed and I’m not sure I can fix it. Maybe she’s right, but I couldn’t do what she wanted.”
“Her mother?”
He nodded.
“What happened?”
“Vivian stood in the crowd, yelling at me after her death. Then back at the apartment. I ignored her until I could shove her out of our home.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Monique asked again today, and I caved. I told her she’d been there, being more hateful and uglier than anything before, and that she truly did not want to hear what her mother had to say in her state. That once Vivian got to the point where she accepted her death, I would be willing to relay her messages.”
“That could be years,” Gwen said softly.
“I didn’t mention that part. Doesn’t matter anyway. She left, and I don’t think there is anything I can say or do to make her understand my reasons.”
“She hasn’t moved out, has she?”
He shook his head. “I have a feeling that’s the next step. I don’t know what to do. Monique finally accepted the Council, then Ofelia LaPorsche kills her mother in front of everyone. I should have known better than to take her outside those doors. I should have had Robert take us back to the apartment. Anything to avoid what happened.”
“Monique will come around.”
Erik shook his head. “And if she doesn’t?”
“She loves you. Right?”
“There are other people willing to do what I won’t. And when her mother started doing nothing but screaming, I pushed her out of the apartment and locked her out. She was following me until an hour ago. I’m damn near positive Monique found someone who will let her mother reach her.”
“Damn. I don’t have words, Erik.”
“Neither do I. Pretty sure this breaks every trust we ever had. And I don’t have a clue how to fix it.”
“She’ll come around. Sooner or later.”
Erik shook his head. “Not that simple. Not if her mother has a say. Fuck.”
“I’m here, whenever you need to talk.”
“I know. Thank you.” He let out a sigh. “I need to get to Robert’s office. He wanted to see me.”
She grinned. “We have a case together. Preston says we’re better suited to solve this case than Coltrain or Josephine.”
“Coltrain doesn’t care you keep getting partnered with me?”
She shrugged. “Don’t really care at the moment. Asshole left me. So whatever.”
“Sorry, Gwen. You know I’m here if you need anyone.”
“Coltrain and I were already falling apart. But Monique’s a fool if she really does leave.”
“Yeah, well, Coltrain never appreciated you. Sorry, but it’s the truth.”
She nodded. “That wasn’t the case with Monique, so I am truly sorry for you. But we should report to Robert.”
He nodded and stood. “After you.”
* * * *
Monique watched Consuela Bordeaux walk in and took a breath of relief. Spending the night alone at her father’s left her a mess. Robert took Dad straight to Edenton to deal with the funeral preparations.
Consuela’s head cocked. “Worried about your mother?”
She nodded.
“What about your lover? I thought you said he could do amazing things with the dead.”
Monique drew a breath to fill the emptiness. It didn’t help. “He wants to protect me.”
She nodded slowly. “Why do you seem to doubt that?”
“My mother never liked Erik. He’s too close to a mage for her taste. But she finally accepted him. She wouldn’t blame him for her death.”
Consuela snorted. “I wouldn’t be so sure about that. However, if you’re positive you can handle what your mother says, I’ll channel her for you.”
“Please. I’ll do anything.”
“You do plenty. Let me do this for you.” She turned and walked to the door, locking it before coming back. “Turn off the lights.”
Monique shut off the lights and came around the counter. “What do I need to do?”
“Follow me.” She moved to the back of the shop where the dressing rooms were. “Sit.”
Monique did, settling down cross-legged.
Consuela set six candles in a circle before sitting across from Monique. “Didn’t bring salt, but the candles will work.” As she chanted, each candle lit in succession.
A chill traveled down Monique’s spine as Consuela locked eyes on her. “This isn’t a parlor trick. It’s no séance. I will invite your mother into my body, and she will say what she will. Erik may very well be right about her being angry. I would be too. You need to prepare yourself for what you hear. And remember, the dead speak their heart, but they are often wrong this soon after death. Their emotions rule them. Not the truth.”
“Please. I need to hear from her myself.”
“Vivian DeSandre, your presence is requested. Come to me, use me, to relay your message to Monique DeSandre.”
Monique jolted as her mother’s scream rent the air. Consuela jerked forward before settling back. Her blond hair bled to black, her pale pink tinged blue eyes darkened to nearly black, looking more demonic than human. Even her skin warmed from pale to an olive tone.
Mother’s voice came out of Consuela’s mouth. “Erik let that woman kill me,” she hissed. “He’s no better than the mages. He knew what would happen and he didn’t try to find another way to get us out of the Headquarters.”
“It wasn’t like that, Mom. He was there with me, protecting me through all of it. You walked past his shields. Had you stayed put, he would have protected you too.”
“No. He wants me out of your life. Why do you think he kept me from you?” she snarled.
Tears fell down her face as she shook her head. “You don’t understand. Your death wasn’t his fault. He loves me. He’s a part of me. I should have listened to Erik.”
The temperature dropped as a breeze kicked up. “He’ll ruin you. The Council has their hooks in him. He’ll become their puppet. He’ll turn his back on you. He already shoved me out of your life. He can never give you what you need. When will you realize the Council will tear him away from you? And if it doesn’t, he will break you with all the work they force him to do. He’ll lose his independence bit by bit.”
“No,” Monique whispered. Her voice gained some strength. “He won’t. He’s not one of them. He wants them to change. He’s helping the mages to see there is another way.”
“He won’t. He’ll fail and fall in with them like every other mage.”
“You’re wrong,” Monique cried. “You’re wrong.”
“Remember what I tell you. He belongs with those heathens. Not with you. Not with such a pure soul.”
“You don’t know him. You never did.” But her mother’s words rang in her head. “Consuela,” she whispered. “Send her away.”
Consuela shuddered, shaking her head. Her coloring faded back to that of a beautiful albino. Her eyes were so sad. “Perhaps Erik was right. She clearly cut you with her words.”
“And maybe Mother is right.” She closed her eyes. “He’ll be an enforcer in a couple days. Sooner or later he’ll have to choose them or me. How do I stand in the way of all he’s trying to do?”
“Don’t let your mother come between you two. Not like this. Everything I’ve seen leads me to believe he’s a good man.” Consuela squeezed her hands and whispered another spell. The candles went out and she gathered them up. “Maybe you should close the shop and figure out what you really want.”
“Yeah, probably for the best.”
* * * *
“We may have a problem,” Preston said as he stepped into Robert’s office.
Robert motioned at the door. Preston locked it and sealed in the sound. “Why is that?”
“Monique stayed at her father’s home last night. Maybe we should have
taken them straight home after the trial. Her parents too.”
“Why do you say that?”
“I overheard his conversation with Gwen in the lunchroom. He’s convinced it’s over.”
“I never imagined Ofelia would publicly attack any of them verbally, let alone physically. But Monique just lost her mother. She may need time.”
“He wouldn’t channel Vivian to give her whatever message she may have had. He said she was so full of hate and anger that he worried about what Monique would do.”
“Not surprising.”
“This could have been prevented.”
Robert ran his hands down his lapels. “As much as I hope they work it out, it’s not our place to step in. And Erik was right. Vivian hated the council. Letting her talk after death…I have a feeling the outcome would have been uglier. But it’s already happened. Right now we need to focus on finding Coltrain and Josephine. And we need Gwen and Erik to stop whoever is bringing back the dead.”
“Most likely Coltrain and Josephine,” Preston offered.
Chapter 13
Erik walked into the apartment, expecting it to be empty. He hadn’t felt Vivian’s presence since before a lunch he didn’t eat. Monique stepped into the living room. The hurt and anger on her face tore his heart out.
Monique blinked and a tear fell. “I wish I’d listened to you.”
“What did you do?” he whispered.
“A client came in. Knew what happened. She let Mom in.” Her eyes closed and he crossed the room, taking her face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, Monique. She was probably worse because of me. I didn’t want you to hurt more.”
She wrapped her arms around his waist and laid her head on his chest. He held her close, wishing he could change what happened.
“What she said…she’s right. I can’t compete with what you’re doing. I don’t want to.”
“It’s not a competition. I can have you and still do my job. Why would you ever question that?”
“As an enforcer, you’re going to be asked to do things I can’t stand by. I’ll only be a distraction.”
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