James held open the door to reveal stairs and took my hand. He led me down a steep spiral staircase that seemed to go on forever.
“How high up were we?” I asked as I clutched James’ hand. There was no handrail on either side, and considering how unsteady I felt, I knew letting go could lead to serious injury or death. Neither were experiences I was interested in having.
“Fairly high.” He squeezed my hand. “But we will reach the ground soon.”
“And why are we here exactly?”
“It is a good place to regroup while we plan the next stop.”
“The next stop in what? Didn’t you just say everything was taken care of?” I watched my footing carefully in the dim light seeping into the stairwell from the occasional oval-shaped window in the stone.
“Why do you suddenly doubt me?” James froze, jerking me to a stop.
It took me a moment to regain my balance. “You seem to have changed your tune quickly, and considering I don’t even quite remember how we got here, I have questions.”
“I rescued you from the frozen lake.”
“Did Gregor throw me in?” I thought back on my memories. “That actually happened, didn’t it?”
“Yes.” James’ face tensed. “And I should warn you. He is here.”
“What?” My free hand flew to my chest. “Why?” In a million years I didn’t expect to hear that. Everything being okay did not involve hanging out with the guy who’d try to kill me.
“Because as strange as it sounds, he tossed you in to help you.” James rubbed the back of his neck. “I did not understand at the time, but I do now.”
“How could throwing me into freezing water possibly help me?” Things had gone from bad to worse. If James was out of his mind, where did that leave me? This mess kept getting worse and worse. “Now I know something is up with you if you are even willing to talk to a guy who almost killed me.”
“It is more complicated than it appears.” James tugged gently on my hand. “And I wish it did not have to be.”
“It can’t be more complicated than everything else I’ve already dealt with.” Complicated had taken on new meaning for me.
“But it is.” James let out a slow deep breath. “You have to trust me on this.”
“The guy tried to kill me.”
“Not kill, but he did put you in danger.” James’ expression darkened.. “I swear you will not have to go near him. If it were up to me I would keep you away from him indefinitely.”
“By that you mean keep me up in that tower.” I nodded toward where we’d just left. I was too shaky to point.
“You are not a prisoner.”
“I never said I was.” I didn’t understand the situation enough to really understand what was going on.
“Then why are you acting so defensively and suggesting I am keeping you anywhere?”
“Let’s just keep walking.” I was getting tired again, and the steep stairwell didn’t seem like the ideal place to pass out.
“I think it may be better if you lay down. You look pale.”
“I need fresh air.” I continued down the stairs.
“Ainsley, I am worried about you.”
“Not as worried as I am about you.” I never imagined I could be afraid of James, but I was. Something was off about him, and it was making me question every one of my thoughts and feelings.
“Your memory. It is not what it should be. You have been repeating yourself.”
“I need fresh air.”
“I do not think the air will change anything.”
“And what will?” I fought off the mounting haze. “More sex with you? Because that’s not going to happen.” No matter how much I desired him, I wasn’t sleeping with him until I got some answers.
“This has nothing to do with sex.” James closed his eyes tightly and then opened them. “What happened while I was gone? When I last left you, you were not upset.”
“I still had the memory issues. Isn’t that what you are worried about?”
“We need to talk this through. It will be easier upstairs.”
“I prefer to walk when I talk.”
“Since when?”
“Since forever.”
“You are making that up.” His face softened, and I got my first glimpse of the James I knew. Maybe he was all right after all.
“Ok, maybe I am, but I need fresh air.”
“Will you promise to stay with me?”
“Where else am I going to go?” I had absolutely no where to go. After my own attempt at running away my first time in Energo I’d learned the hard way it wasn’t an easy place to navigate. There were dangers at every turn, including trees.
“I want you safe.”
“I want to be safe too, which is why we need to keep walking. These stairs are getting to me.”
“You should have said that in the first place.” He swept me into his arms and carried me the rest of the way down the stairs.
“You can put me down now.” I watched as he pushed open the heavy stone door.
“It is no trouble for me to carry you.”
“And I appreciate that, but remember part of this was so I got to walk.”
“I thought it was more about the fresh air.”
“The walking also helps.”
He set me down on the ground gently. “It is impossible for me to deny you what you want.”
“That’s not true.” I shook my head.
“Sure it is.” He ran a hand through my hair.
“You’ve said no to me before.”
“When?”
“You tried to stop me from coming outside.”
“Because I was protecting you.”
“You stopped me from going home when we first got to Energo.”
“To protect you. Are you starting to see a pattern here?”
“But what if the question was my safety or my happiness?” I wasn’t quite sure why I was pushing him, but I was.
“You cannot be happy if you are not safe.”
“That’s not true.”
“Yes it is.”
“It isn’t.” I put a hand on my hip. “Life involves taking some risks.”
“Yes, taking risks. Like entering a new world. Not taking a risk like purposely putting yourself in danger.”
“The fresh air is nice.” I looked up at the grey sky.
“This area lacks the beauty of Belgard.”
“Are you anxious to get back there?”
“No.” He looked away.
“Why not?” That wasn’t the response I’d been expecting.
“Because I did not leave things on the best of terms when I left.”
“What do you mean?” My chest tightened uncomfortably.
“I knew you were in danger and turned to those I believed were friends.”
“Charlotte and Liam?” I tried to follow his words.
He nodded.
“And they didn’t help?” That surprised me. At least the Charlotte part. Liam was harder to read, but Charlotte cared about James and valued him.
“No.”
“Why not?” I was surprised I hadn’t asked him about this earlier. It was all the haze. It was still there muddling my thoughts, but the fresh air did help.
“Because they could not be bothered.” He kicked the dirt hard with his boot.
“That doesn’t sound like the Charlotte I met.” She’d seemed eager to help anyone in need almost to a fault.
“I’m sorry I even introduced you to her.” James’ face reddened.
“Are you sure she understood?” I had no reason to defend the girl. She was far more James’ friend than mine, but I didn’t understand it. How could she have changed so quickly? Or maybe she hadn’t changed, and she was only looking out for herself? I thought about the voice in my dream. He’d told me to turn to Charlotte. How could I turn to someone who wouldn’t even help her friend?”
“She understood. She knew I had little time but she suggested I wai
t. She refused to listen to reason so I was forced to go off on my own.”
“You still found me.” I thought back on my relief when James had rescued me from the lake. I’d been terrified that my life was over.
“I did. And I will always find you.”
I met his eyes. “I’m sorry your friends disappointed you. It sucks to find out the people you trusted the most could betray you.”
“You are thinking of your step-sister?”
“Yes.” I looked down. “And my ex. He betrayed me too.” Yet those problems seemed like a lifetime ago.
“I will never betray you.” James’ eyes locked with mine. They were full of such emotion the connection felt physical.
“You did hide information from me.” Important information, and that was something I couldn’t easily brush off.
“I did, and I am sorry.”
I nodded. I couldn’t hold that over his head considering I was hiding information from him. He had no idea about my dream, and I had no plans to change that. As much as I wanted to be open with him, something inside warned me to keep that part to myself.
“Are you ready for that walk?” He held out his arm.
“Absolutely. I’ve never been more ready.”
5
James
I linked my arm with Ainsley’s as I led her away from the tower. I wanted to make her happy, and if that meant risking the potential of having her near Gregor, I would have to deal with it.
The clearing itself was very small, so the only place to walk was in the forest. There were sure to be creatures inside, but none of them posed a risk to me anymore. The darkness inside of me could defeat anything and everything. Although such immense power was frightening, it was also invigorating.
The power served a purpose. It would help me protect Ainsley, and it would ensure she was always mine.
The thought of losing her swirled through my head. Everyone wanted to take her from me. I was sure of that. Even Gregor, the man my father left to aid me in battle. He could pretend his only goal was the war, but he had other ambitions. I could tell by the way he said her name. I would make sure he never laid a hand on her.
We walked deeper into the forest, and Ainsley held onto my arm tighter. I unlinked our arms and instead put my arm around her. She immediately leaned into my side. I kissed the top of her head. “You are safe with me.”
She rested her head on my chest. “This place is creepy.”
“I cannot deny that.” I pulled her closer. “But it contains nothing that will hurt you.”
“What about tree roots?” She squinted in the growing darkness. “Will they grab me?”
I hated to see her fear, but I knew suggesting we return to the tower would only upset her again. “No. They will not.”
“How do you know?”
Because those roots are in my control now. I could not speak that answer out loud, so I chose another that was technically true. “Because this is a different forest.”
“Oh.” Ainsley glanced all around. “I kind of thought those were everywhere.”
“Energo is a diverse land as I am sure you have seen. Just as the temperature can change drastically in only a few miles, so can the dangers.”
“I assume there are other dangerous things here.” Ainsley held on tighter.
“Yes.” The most dangerous being me, but she would never need to fear me. I would never hurt her. I promised to keep my heart pure for her, and I had no intentions of going back on the promise.
She adjusted her hold on my arm. “Can I ask you a personal question?”
“You can ask me anything.” I stopped and turned her in my arms so we were looking at each other.
“This is very personal.” She grazed her teeth over her bottom lip.
“What could be more personal than the intimacies we are already sharing?” Merely speaking of intimacy had my body aroused. I wished we were back in the tower.
“This is a different kind of personal.”
“Ok. Ask me.” I was unsure what question was coming, but I would answer her. I wanted to be as open with her as possible.
She clasped her hands together in front of her. “Do you have a faith?”
“Faith?” I was taken aback by the question. I am not sure what I expected exactly, but it was not that.
“Yes. I mean. Ok. So all this talk about the Source… it kind of sounds like a religious belief, and…”
“Why are you suddenly asking about the Source now?” I had no interest in talking about the entity that had caused so much turmoil in the life of my father. I had been taught the Source was always right—knew everything and did everything for a reason, but I was unsure what I even believed anymore. I had spent my youth lost, but this new sensation was something different entirely.
“Ok, I don’t want to open wounds or anything by talking about Charlotte, but she and Samantha made it sound like the Source is the ultimate authority on everything.”
“I used to think so.” Before I learned of the treacheries it could commit.
“Used to?” Ainsley put a hand on my arm. “Charlotte and Samantha made it sound like the Source was always right.”
“Of course Charlotte would say that.” I filled with anger, as a foreign memory flooded my mind. It worked the same way as last time. First complete blackness, followed by being forced to watch an unfamiliar scene.
My father grabbed Emma’s arm.
"What are you doing?" Emma hissed. "If Alexander sees you we will both be in trouble."
"I do not need his permission to speak with you.”
"He is my Gerard." Emma glanced around the room as if looking for him.
"By some sort of black magic. There is no other explanation. You know that." My father loosened his hold on her arm.
"He is my Gerard." Her eyes were bright. “I love him.”
My father paled. "Please. Emma think about it.”
"Think about what? I am grateful we never did anything stupid. I cannot imagine having had to explain that to Alexander tonight."
His face reddened. "This is not what the Source intended."
"The Source is always right. Always. I know you are disappointed, but it is time for you to accept that and take your place on my Guard. I need you.”
"You expect me to stand by and watch you with Alexander?" My father’s voice was full of panic.
"You have no choice.” Emma sighed. “He is my Gerard."
“Emma, look at me.” He put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. “Is Alexander truly who you love?"
“What was between us is over. I hope you find your kindred one day.” Emma shook off his hands and ran down the hallway toward the banquet.
He stood there watching as she disappeared from his view. His face was once again full of anguish.
The Gerard, who I now knew was named Alexander, walked over and joined him. “I do not want you speaking with her without me present. You think I do not know what you are doing?"
"You know as well as I do how wrong this is." My father’s hands become fists at his sides.
"It is not for us to decide what is right or wrong." Alexander smiled, and his eyes darkened.
"Yes, it is all the Source." There was sarcasm in my father’s voice.
"The Source and others." Alexander’s eyes darkened further until they were completely black.
"What are you implying?" My father’s eyes widened.
“Nothing. Nothing at all.” Alexander’s eyes returned to normal. “Now if you will excuse me, it is time I consummate my union with my Essence.” He grinned and walked away.
My father’s hands balled into fists as he stood in the same place. Moments later he watched as Alexander led Emma up the elaborate stairs of the castle. He hurried out through the castle doors.
“James?” Ainsley repeated my name with alarm pulling me from my father’s memory.
I shook myself. “Yes. Sorry.” The memories pulled me in with no warning, which could be a ve
ry big problem.
“Are you okay?’ She watched me with worry. “You were completely spaced out.”
“I was just remembering something.” I was. Although it was not my own memory.
“What were you remembering?”
“Nothing.” I shook my head. “Let us forget it.”
“It had to be something.” Her voice was soft and silky.
“Nothing of importance to you.”
“To me?” She put a hand to her chest.
I had said the wrong thing and upset her, but I was still so shaken up from the memory, confused by how differently it played out from what I had assumed. I took a moment and pushed it all away. “That came out wrong. What I mean is the memory has nothing to do with you, and there is no need to worry you with it.”
“What was it?” She pressed.
I had no interest in lying to her, but the truth was impossible to share. So I went with the closest truth I could. “It was of watching the Essence and Gerard unite.”
“Oh. Charlotte and Liam.” All color drained from her face. “I thought she was like a sister to you.”
“Wait. No. That is not what I mean.” I had messed things up further. “I was not upset about that. At least not for the reason you are implying.”
“Then what are you upset about?” She grazed her teeth over her bottom lip.
“Just the thought of her. Her refusal to help stung.” Once again it was not an outright fabrication.
Ainsley’s face relaxed. “Oh. You are really upset about what she did.”
“I am.”
Ainsley rested her head on my chest. “I know the feeling, and it will get better.” She closed her eyes. “We can go back if you want. It’s getting really dark.”
“I would like that.” I needed it. I needed her. I could feel the darkness spreading through me.
She picked up her head and stared into my eyes. “Thank you for saving me. When Charlotte said no you could have given up.”
“Never. I will never be able to give up on you.” That was true. Even if the darkness continued to spread I would still want her. Need her. But would I still love her? I would. I would find a way.
“How did you find me?” She rested a hand on my shoulder.
Forged in Fire (The Forged Chronicles Book 3) Page 3
