We finished up our food and start to clean up. It’s comfortable with Carson in my home. I don’t feel like I have to impress him, or I have to cater to him. It’s like he wants to be here with me, even though this isn’t a massive mansion with a hockey rink and all that. However, he’s here, and I like it a lot.
“Aren’t you going to invite me to stay over?”
I tilt my head. “Do you want to? I mean, my bed is nothing like yours.”
“Are you going to be in the bed?”
“Well, yes.”
“Then it’ll be fine.” He winks.
“When did you become so poetic?”
“What? I’m always this way.”
I burst into laughing, knowing that he isn’t the biggest romantic in the world. “I hate to tell you this, but I’m really tired.” As much as I want to feel him inside of me, I’d probably fall asleep on him.
“That’s fine. I’ve had a long day too. Let’s just relax with each other and go to bed.”
“Deal.”
I change into my pajamas and Carson sleeps in his boxers. When I curl into his side, the only thing I think about is: can I do this every night?
Carson’s and my relationship isn’t the typical Lifetime movie type. He’s an ass, very blunt, and wants what he wants. He also handles his emotions very differently than most. With all that, I still see the kindness in his smile, the care in his eyes, and the love in his heart.
And he’s all mine.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Carson
“Looks like I was right.”
I glance over at Tyler. “About what?” There’s a pause during drills, so we’re all standing around doing nothing at the moment.
“You settling down with your big birthday. You are still seeing Kinley, aren’t you?”
“Yes, and you were not right. You asked a question. You would have been right had you predicted it. Actually, I think you said I would be Hugh Hefner, so you’re way off,” I chuckle. For a moment, his comment about settling down gets to me. Is that what I’m doing with Kinley? Settling down? Not that it really matters either way because I’m happy with my relationship with Kinley and I don’t want that to change.
“It is weird that you’re a one woman man now,” another guy adds.
Part of me wants to correct him. I’m not a “one woman man.” I’m Kinley’s man or no one’s man. She’s it for me and if we don’t work out, there’s no one else.
“It’s a nice change though,” Tyler pipes in after him.
Yes, it is. Practice resumes and my mind wanders. I almost thought Kinley was going to send me back home the other night, but she didn’t. My surprise visit probably threw her for a loop. I wanted to see her and see her in her home instead of mine, so there I went. Will there be a day when her home is my home, when it’s one place instead of two? When I won’t have to go to another place to see her because she’s right where belongs? Would Kinley even want that? There’s plenty of time before I’ll find out. We’re still rolling with the tides for now.
When practice is over, a couple of teammates and I make plans to meet up at a bar later. Kinley will be working late, so it’s a good opportunity to hang out with the guys again. On my way back to the house before lunch, I call Kinley.
“Hello?” she answers sounding a bit frenzied even with just one word.
“Hey, what are you doing?”
“Carson Lee, I’m working. What else would I be doing?” I laugh at her tone. “Hockey players are one big pain in my ass. Well, with the exception of Hudson King and Brody Ross. They are quite pleasant.”
“What are you talking about? Sweetheart, I was only almost pleasant and they are already ‘quite pleasant’?” King doesn’t bother me as much as Ross. The incident from the last game replays in my mind.
“Oh my God. Are you still on that? They have been the easiest to work with so far. Was there a point to your call other than to complain about something that was said a long time ago?”
“Only to talk to you for a few before I left for lunch with your father.”
That catches her attention. “Why are you having lunch with him? How come I didn’t know? I mean, it’s great you two are spending time together.”
“It was a bit last minute and because I wanted to talk to him.”
“Oh, okay. Good. Well, I have to go. Love you.” The phone clicks to end the call just as I hear her answering another from the phone in her office.
Slowly, I pull my cell away from my ear and stare at it. She loves me? Does she realize what she said? Did she mean it or was it an automatic response? Who knows when I’ll get answers to my questions because she’s working late tonight. The bigger question is if she does, how do I feel about it?
That mulls over in my mind as I drive to meet Mr. Wright. He’s already sitting down at a table, so I sit across from him. A waiter pops up and goes ahead to take our order.
“Thanks for meeting me, Mr. Wright.”
“Of course, Carson. I thought it would be nice to catch up. I haven’t really talked to you since Utah.”
“That’s why I thought lunch would be a good idea. Plus, I wanted to see if you feel the same as your wife about Kinley and me.”
“You know I figured this was the real reason. I like that you got right to the point too. I told you how I felt about my wife. I loved her the moment I saw her, and she shot me down. However, she changed my life. I don’t know where I would be right now if I hadn’t walked up to her that night.” The love he has for his wife is evident in the tone of his words and the light in his eyes. Am I the same way when I talk about Kinley?
“I think I know what you mean. Kinley has been amazing with her patience. I was able to, uh, talk to her about my family without having to explain a lot when my dad showed up.”
“I saw that about your dad. I’m sorry, but I’m glad it happened. It will only help you in the long haul, Carson. You may not understand this right now, but I lean on my wife a lot. She’s a little hard on Kinley, but she has very good heart. Kinley is like her mom. She’s a great listener and she can handle more than you think. Don’t keep everything bottled up. It’ll only be a slow, painful death for you.”
“It’s getting easier to share things with Kinley for the most part.” And it is. I hope that one day I can tell her anything and everything without a second thought. One thing about what he said sticks out to me, so I ask about it. “You lean on her?”
“Yes, I do. It took me a long time to realize it. I’m stubborn, but Ruby never pushed me to open up to her. The first time that I did, I was scared, nervous, and didn’t know if she would stay with me. But she did and over time, I opened up more, and it made me better. A better man. A better husband. A better father.”
I nod in understanding. Her “love you” is bothering me a little. “Could I ask you something about Kinley?” Mr. Wright shakes his head in a yes. “Is she usually pretty vocal about her feelings? I mean, I know she is about what she wants, but…” My voice trails off as the waiter sets our plates down in front of us.
“Let me put to you this way. If Kinley didn’t like you or care for you, she wouldn’t be with you.” He seems to weigh what he’s about to say before speaking. “I don’t know how much she told you about her and Elliott, but Kinley left because she didn’t have the same feelings for him anymore. She didn’t think she should punish them both with a unhappy marriage.”
“She has talked to me about them, but I-” How am I supposed to explain what I’m feeling? Finally, I blurt out, “She told me, ‘love you,’ before she hung up earlier. I don’t even know if she knows she said it.”
“Let me guess,” he smiles, “it scared the shit out of you?”
I chuckle. “A little bit.”
“Happened to me too. See, I love Ruby. She’s my soul mate, but when she told me her feelings, I almost bolted.” That’s not what I want to do. “I felt that way because I didn’t know if I could love her the way she should be loved.” I de
finitely know what he’s talking about there too. “But after a second of panic, I was willing to try. If Kinley said it, she means it. However, let me tell you one thing. There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t do for my little girl. Don’t let the jacket and tie fool you, son. I will kill you in one point two seconds if you hurt her. But,” he chuckles, “I don’t think you will. I was always unsure of Elliott because Kinley is a little hard to handle. You’re different because you can handle her.”
“I think we handle each other pretty well. I didn’t bring it up because it made me want to run. Sure, it scared me, but I don’t want to go anywhere. I mentioned it because…well…she makes me think stuff through and she always makes me feel a little unsure about what I am thinking. I don’t want to hurt her,” I finish quietly.
“Thinking things through, not doing it on a whim, isn’t a bad thing. If anything, it’ll make you more mature. I know you don’t want to hurt her. If I thought that, we wouldn’t be having this delicious lunch.” He holds up a forkful as evidence. “Going through life alone sucks. I know you know that. Having an other half in your life is like having your conscience in front of your face. That’s what makes a good partnership, relationship, and in my case, a marriage.”
“Do you think that her mom will be more okay with Kinley’s career since she is in a relationship?”
He chuckles again. “Carson, let me give you a piece of advice, off the record, and if you ever tell Ruby I said this, I break every hockey stick you own. That night at dinner, I saw the sheer panic and fear in your eyes. My wife is hard on Kinley, but it’s because she doesn’t want her to be soft. Ruby grew up where girls got married, had babies, and cooked. Kinley is like me. So, don’t listen to anything my wife says about Kinley’s relationship status, or career choices, or future grandchildren. Kinley will do all that when she’s ready, and truthfully, Ruby understands that. She’s just more vocal about the fact it’s not on her timetable.”
“She will probably be more vocal when she finds out we’re not on a timetable at all.” I laugh.
“Ignore that part of my wife, okay? Focus on you, Kinley, and just being together. Everything else, if it happens, will happen when it’s the right time. As long as Kinley is happy, then I am happy. Just remember she’s there for you too. Like I said, Kinley can handle a lot more than you think she can.”
~
Nursing my whiskey, I listen to some of the lamest pickup lines I’ve ever heard. Leaning forward to insert myself into the conversation, I say, “There’s no way that will work. Where do y’all come up with this?”
All the heads turn towards me. Tyler laughs. “That was one of your famous lines, Carson. It worked every time too. Didn’t you used to say that if they wanted to sleep with you bad enough, then even the stupidest line would work?”
Hm. Now that I think about, I do remember. They are all still watching me, so I clear my throat. “Well, go see if it works for you, or if I was just a master at picking up girls.”
We watch the guy walk over to a group of girls. That’s his first mistake, getting himself an audience. He makes them laugh, but we won’t know if it worked until he comes back to our table. Looks like it was a bust as he shakes his head on the walk back.
“Maybe you should try it with one who doesn’t have any friends around. Might work better,” Tyler suggests. “Or maybe you aren’t the one she wants,” he adds as one of the girls walks to us.
I’m sitting at the end of the table across from Tyler. The girl props her arms on the table as she leans over, trying to use her breasts and low-cut shirt to her advantage. I drink more of my whiskey.
“Carson,” she starts, saying my name like we’re close friends. “My friends and I were wondering if we could buy you another drink.” She glances behind her, so I follow her gaze to see her two friends wave and smile.
“Thanks for the offer, but no thanks. I’m about to leave to see my girlfriend anyway.” The shock is written all over her face. “I know, hard to believe, right? Best get used to it.” I lay some money on the table and head out to my car. Before I start driving, I let Kinley know I’m coming over, so she should find a stopping point.
She answers the door when I knock. I grab her hips and pull her flush against me, leaning down to whisper, “Sweetheart, I have a very important question to ask.” I kiss her neck and then add, “Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
“No, my wings let me float down,” she says without missing a beat.
Pulling away to look at her, I laugh and shake my head. “You’re perfect.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Kinley
I roll over as the bright light shines in my eyes. Sometimes, I really hate the sun. I prop myself up on my elbows, hearing Carson moving around in my kitchen. I pick up his shirt that I pretty much yanked off his body last night and slip it on.
“Are you cooking?” I ask, standing next to him.
“Trust me it’s not fancy. However, I do have coffee.”
I kiss his cheek. “Perfect.”
I watch him for a few moments, moving around with ease, and I can’t help the smile on my face. “You didn’t tell me how it went with Dad. Of course, you didn’t say much except a really bad 1970’s pickup line, and then fucked my brains out.”
“I don’t think you can talk about your dad and fucking in the same breath, sweetheart. Anyway, lunch went great and I had to test the line on you because we were talking about it at the bar.”
I laugh at him. “Well, I’m glad you had a good time with Dad.”
Carson very carefully plates the eggs and sausage links onto a plate and sets them in front of me. It’s not that big of a deal, but it’s the first time he’s cooked for me. I can feel him staring at me as I take a bite of the food. I know what is on his mind. It’s almost like I can sense it from him. I knew the second I hung up the phone what I had said, and I know that he wants to talk about it.
“Something is on your mind. I can see it.” I might as well get it out there.
“Do you remember what you said before you hung up yesterday?”
My head falls. Yep, I’m right again. “I do.” There’s no reason to deny it. I lift my head. “Carson Lee, I said it, and I meant it, but you don’t have to say anything back. I don’t want to push you into expressing anything you don’t want to.”
“I love you too, Kinley. No pushing necessary.”
I don’t know if my brain understands what my ears just heard from his beautiful lips. My mouth drops. He said it. Carson Lee told me he loves me. I’m not going to lie my heart is about to pound out of my chest. Since Elliott and I ended our marriage, I wasn’t sure I would be able to utter those words to anyone else ever. Carson’s different. He understands me. He knows I have my career, and that it’s my passion, but he still loves me.
“Whatever you do, don’t you dare tell my mother. She’ll have the ballroom booked for the weekend to have us walking down the aisle.” I take another bite of the food.
Carson laughs loudly. “You don’t have to worry about me saying anything to your mother ever again.”
I giggle. “So, let me clarify one thing: you love me and not just the amazing sex we’ve been having?” I wink at him.
“Yes, I love you.”
~
The stadium is packed. Carson’s holding my hand tightly as I guide us to our assigned tunnel. I didn’t make him wear a ‘Bama t-shirt, even though I teased him the whole time that I was. He isn’t going to be able to make any of the other games because the hockey season is getting closer to starting, but he made it to this one. I look back at him as we walk down the stairs to our row. He looks like he’s about to go into the dentist office for a root canal.
“Carson Lee, stop acting like I’m dragging you to your death. It’s a football game.”
“You just proved my point for me. You are dragging me to a football game.” I pull him to our seats. “If I suck it up, what do I get in return?” he trails his hand up my thigh.
“Ha, nothing.” I slap his hand away. “This is payback for the season tickets that arrived the other day from the Blacksmiths office. Know anything about that?”
“You received season tickets?” Carson has a fake shocked expression. “Wow, someone loves you a lot to gift you such a thing so you can see your boyfriend play.” He chuckles. “Are you trying to say they are going to go to waste?”
“You’re such a drama queen.” I roll my eyes at him, looking out at the green football turf in front of me. “I’m not going to let them go to waste. And I think that since I’m your girlfriend, you should do things I enjoy too, like football.”
“Isn’t there supposed to be compromise in a relationship?” Before I can open my mouth to yell at him, he waves his hand. “But fine, fine. I will do whatever you want if it’s something you enjoy.”
“Whatever I want?” I purse my lips at him. “Hhmm, that sounds so tempting right now. I’ll have to remember you said that.”
He grins. “Why do you think I said it?”
~
“You got Carson Lee, bad-boy of hockey, to go to a football game?” Cassie looks shocked.
“Yep, and I think he even enjoyed it. He lied and said he hated it though.”
I have my iPad on my lap double checking everything. Cassie and I are off to the Big Apple for fashion week. Our fall line with Carson is going to fly off the shelves. We’re already backordering the jeans. This will be my first fashion week, and I can’t wait. This is what I have worked for. This is my moment. I have been working so hard for it, and I’m at the top of the mountain. I look at the list of people I have to meet with while I’m there. All big names in fashion and it’ll take LSMP to a whole new level that no one even dreamed of.
“You’re excited, aren’t you?”
I smile at my best friend. “You have no idea. I’m a bundle of nerves, but I don’t think I’ve ever been this excited.”
Finding Carson Lee (Oh Captan, My Captain #3) Page 17
