by Nancy Howard
He was a mean sadistic drunk she said. She told him how he'd strip her naked, and beat her with his belt, when she was a little girl. She told John he did it when she refused to clean up his messy bed, that he'd puked and peed in the night before. She told him the abuse went on until she was eighteen. That the beatings he gave her with his belt, when she was little, would leave welt on her butt and legs the size of silver dollars, and they would hurt for days.
She told him that at eighteen, she was sick of his abuse and ran away from home, after she got out of school. John listens and is sadden by what she tells him. He knew she probably wasn't telling him everything, that she was holding somethings back. She's keeping that part to herself. It makes him sad to hear what her dad did to her.
John looks at Logan and thinks about what she just told him. He knows that those must be painful memories for her. He wishes he would have been around for her back then. He thinks to himself if he would have been, he would have beat hell out of Cal Kincaid, for his sins against Logan.
She was quiet for a minute then told him about the army sergeant she killed, that tried to rape her when she was nineteen. She told him that he was the first person she killed. John told Logan that the sergeant deserved it.
But what most intrigues him about Logan, is her ability to fight back from all of the adversity of her childhood and terrible upbringing. He likes Logan already. He knows she has trouble trusting anyone, but he admires her. She's a beautiful young woman, in-spite of all that she has been through, and what she does for a living. She's lean, tough, smart, not afraid of getting into the mix of things. He thinks that she truly has integrity. John likes that honesty she exhorts, a quality he most admires in people.
“Logan like I told you yesterday I don't have much use for bounty hunters. I'm sure you know that by now. But I just can't understand why you do it? And you don't have to tell me now, if you don't want too. But young lady, you do know how dangerous it is for you be a bounty hunter. Don't you? You ever think of just settling down and getting married, and perhaps having a family?”
Logan paused before she answered him. “Yes I do all the time. I know it dangerous for me. Funny that you would bring this up, because I been wanting to quit doin' this for a longtime now. I mean before I get killed. I want to settle down, and just be a normal twenty-six year old girl. You know with a real home. I've agreed to help Gavin with Bailey Hogg, and I've told him that it's my last bounty. I guess the real reason I'm gonna help him, is because I don't want him to do it alone. I don't want to see him get himself killed because I wouldn't help him. I could never forgive myself if that were to happen to him. But yeah, I want to settle down and stay put.”
“So you do care about him?”
“Yes I do, a whole lot.”
“Do you know how he feels about you?”
“Yeah, he loves me.”
“Do you love him Logan?”
“Yes I do,” she says seriously. Looking at him.
“How long have the two of you known each other?”
“Not real sure, but I think about four years. We met in Las Cruces and rode together until last year when he decided he wanted to go to West Texas.
“And you didn't want to go?”
“No I decided to stay here, but I sure missed him. I'd been thinkin' about him a lot lately. Wonderin' if he's okay. I wasn't sure at all until he rode into my camp the other night. He said he'd been looking for me.”
“You sound like you're glad he found you.”
“I am,” she said, looking at him, with a smile on her face.
“You know Logan I misjudged you yesterday, and I want to apologize for that,” John says.
“Mr. Sanderson you don't....”
“No hear me out. You may be a bounty hunter, and I know now that you've had your share of trouble, but girl I want you to know this. Ever since you walked through our door yesterday afternoon, I have not seen my wife's mood change like it has since,... before Jenn died. You are....” His voice trailed off, then he said, “You're already a breath of fresh air in our house for her. I want you to know that.”
“Sir I could never replace your daughter, and I've only been here since yesterday.
“I know you can't replace Jennifer, Logan. I don't want you to do that, but will you do something for us? For me anyway.”
Logan looks at him, knowing there's something he wants to say to her. “Sure, you name it.”
“Just stay around for us, if you want too, and be that regular girl you were talking about being a few minutes ago. Will you do that? For me and for Catherine, but more importantly for yourself. Give yourself the chance to settle down. And Catherine and I want you to know, that you can stay here as long as you like.”
“I will. I promise,” Logan says, Realizing the kind of effect that she's already having on them.
They are quiet for a while then Logan asks John, “ can I ask you something?”
“Sure Logan, what is it?”
“Have you ever killed anyone before?” At first, the look on John's face made Logan wonder if she should have asked him that question at all.
Then he said thoughtfully, “Yes Logan. Yes I have, I've killed men before. I ain't proud of that fact. I ain't perfect by any stretch of the imagination either. I always did it though to defend myself and my family, which was the right reason. Or so I thought. I want you to know right here and now, that there are a lot of things I've done during my lifetime that I'm not proud of.”
“While we're on this subject young lady. How many men have you actually killed? Word has it that you've killed a half dozen men bein' a bounty hunter.”
She pauses and shakes her head, and laughs out loud, “no that ain't true at all. Actually only two. That sergeant and Duke Wymer. I guess I'm more famous than I thought.”
“That you are.”
“I ain't a bad person, cause I'm a bounty hunter.”
“I know that Logan. I've known it since I first saw you in town yesterday. And I want you to know, that Catherine and I don't give two hoots and damn about your past. What you've done or where you've been. It's right here, right now that's important. What we're given you here is a chance at a fresh start. Take advantage of it, to become that respected regular girl you just told me about, that you said you want to be.”
Logan pauses before she answers him, listening to him intently, a man who is honest, tough, and proud. A man Logan already respects.
“I will. I promise,” She says
“I already know that, “he looks at her, with a grin. “Let's get back to the house.” They had just rode under the main entrance and in just a few minutes they were home.
Logan is thinking about what John said to her, as they started back. He told her that he and Catherine didn't care at all about her past, and that this job is a chance at a fresh start for her. He told her she could stay here at the ranch as long as she wants. That he and Catherine would like that. Logan also told him she didn't want to be a bounty hunter anymore. She thinks he wanted to hear that from her.
Logan also realizes that this conversation she just had with John, was like a father and daughter. Heart to heart. Real. As she and the Sandersons get to know each other, something they both seem to want to do. Logan never had the chance to talk Cal Kincaid like this, it wasn't possible. He wasn't a father, he didn't know how to be one. But John does know how to be a father, it's just sad that he didn't have the chance to be one for as long as he wanted too, because of Jennifer's death.
Logan wonder's where all of this will lead for her? After all she only met the Sanderson's the day before, and now they seem to be wrapping their arms around her, so to speak, already pulling her into the Sanderson mold. Somehow Logan feels they are already trying to make her a part of their family. If that is what they are doing and what they want, then Logan knows she won't resist, because it's what she desires too.
As she rode along side John she had these thoughts run through her mind. She thinks to herself, she will do her best to fil
l the void left in their hearts and lives, with the loss of Jennifer. She knows that she could never replace her, and John is aware of that too. Yet Logan is also aware of the instant effect that she is having on them, and they are having on her.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
That morning Gavin gets up and leaves the hotel, then goes to the livery after a bite of breakfast, to get his horse. He was told by the hotel clerk the night before, that Logan was seen leaving town with John and Catherine Sanderson the day before. He asked for directions to Sanderson's Hill, before he left the hotel. He was told it was a three-quarter hour ride to the west of town, that he couldn't miss it if he stayed on the main road.
Gavin found the ranch entrance to Sanderson's Hill. It is a big square entrance on tall wooden posts, high enough for a rider to easily ride underneath it without any trouble. Above, the posts supported a big wooden sign, that has the words Sanderson's Hill Ranch on it. He stopped for just a second looking up at the sign, then looks all around. He is nowhere near any type of structure, so he knows this is a big ranch.
He begins his ride down the road in front of him, that he figures will take him to the ranch house and out buildings. After about ten minutes, he comes to a rise stopping again at the top. From there the hill in front of him sloped away gradually, leading down to a valley where he could see the barns, stables, corrals, and a bunkhouse. From his vantage point he also saw a large ranch house, that sat up above all the buildings on an adjacent hill. He figures that Sanderson was probably a very important man in these parts, though he still wonders why had Logan come here with the them. After all Sanderson had said yesterday, that he didn't have any use for bounty hunters. So Gavin wondered what had changed Sanderson's mind about them, as well as Logan's opinion about him.
Gavin not only wonders this, but he's still in a fowl mood about what Hogg and his gang had done to the Tanners and the Blakes. The powerful images of death and destruction they brought on those poor people, are still firmly planted his mind. Sickening images that haven't gone away. Things that though he is used to seeing after Hogg and his gang kill, will take some time for him to process them it all.
“Can I help you Mr. Sloan?” Gavin hears a mans voice after he dismounts his horse in front of the house. The voice is a familiar one to him and belongs to Jay Canter. Both men recognizing each other, after being members of the sheriffs posse the day before.
“Jay,” Gavin says. “Maybe you can. I'm looking for a friend of mine, I was told she came here yesterday. Her name is Logan.”
“Oh, the girl that you road into town with yesterday?”
“Yeah, that's her.”
“I don't know anything about it, but I'll go inside and ask, wait right here.”
Just a few minutes later, a woman emerged out the front door with Jay behind her.
“You must be Gavin Sloan,” she inquires.
“Yes mam I am. I'm came here to see if my friend Logan Kincaid is around. I was told that she's here with you and Mr. Sanderson.”
“Yes she is, she did come home with us yesterday. She's not here at the moment, she and John made a journey out to the north side of our ranch this morning. They won't be back for a little while, so if you'd like to wait, you're welcome too.”
“Sure. Mam can you tell me why she came here?”
“Yes John has hired her, and I think he wants to hire you too, to help stop the rustling of our cattle. That's why they went out to the mesa this morning, our cows are being stolen out there. Logan accepted John's offer, and is staying here in the house with us,” Catherine explained.
Now Jay Canter has been standing here the whole time, listening to what was being said. And he immediately began to question in his mind, why Sanderson needed to hire bounty hunters to provide security for the ranch? He wondered, wasn't that his job as ranch foreman, and wasn't what he's doing adequate enough? This news upsets him, taking him completely by surprise. He is usually the one who hires people for the ranches needs. He thinks to himself, that he will discuss the matter with John, as soon as he and this Logan Kincaid, return to the ranch.
But what Canter is also keeping to himself, is that Henry Baker has offered him the job of ranch foreman on his ranch, the Running 'B'. The job pays twice as much this one, and Baker told Jay, that he would have complete control over the entire operation. Something John has never let Jay do, even though he has ask for it. Then there is Brittany, Henry's daughter who Jay is engaged too, and is due to marry in August. That, he thinks, would be another reason to take Henry up on his offer. An offer he has not accepted yet.
He used to like his job here at Sanderson's Hill, but not so much now. He's equally disappointed when he hears of John hiring Logan, and wanting to hire Gavin. They're bounty hunters for God sake's. But he doesn't just up and leave, not just yet. Instead of getting mad and leaving, he begins talking to Gavin. Jay doesn't want to let on that he is thinking of taking Henry's job.
“Come on Gavin, you can hang out down by the corral while you're waitin' for John and your friend to get back. You can get a look at the operation, that way if you decide if you want to work here, then you'll have a feel for the place.”
Gavin accepts Jay's offer, but is even more confused as to why Logan took a job here. Since she'd already committed to helping him hunt down Hogg and his gang.
“GAVIN!” LOGAN EXCLAIMS cheerfully. As she rides up behind him, where he's standing next to the corral. Gavin turns around and sees her, John is right behind her. They both stop their horses right next to him and dismount.
“Sloan,” John says as he walks up to Gavin, holding his hand out in friendship, and the two men shake hands
“I heard you took a job from him,” Gavin says, looking directly at Logan. Wasting no time, questioning her about her decision.
“Yeah I did. It pays a fifty and month, plus room and board”
“What about huntin' down Hogg and his gang with me. I thought we was gonna do that together, Logan,” Gavin says. With a tone of disappointment in his voice.
“We still are. They're in the area Gavin, so let them come to us. You been chasin' them all over the country for what, now, five months, and ya ain't caught up to em yet. They'll show there ugly hides around here sooner or later, and that is when we will take em. At least that's what I think we should do. In the meantime we can help Mr. Sanderson take care of the cattle rustlers he's havin' trouble with, and have a steady job at the same time.”
“So what about it Sloan, would you like the job, or not?”
“I'm not sure,” Gavin says. Looking at John.
Jay Canter is over by the corral and is watching all of this go on.
Logan looks at Gavin and rolls her eyes, at the same time shaking her head, looking away and saying in an admonishing tone, “Gavin!”
He looks at her, “well yesterday he told us he didn't like bounty hunters. And now he hires you, and wants to hire me too. I don't know Logan, I'm not sure it's for me. And you're already working for him.”
“I am, Gavin, and I'm gonna stay,” she says. Letting him know she's satisfied with her decision to take John's job. “And he needs you too.”
“Look Sloan I don't like what you do for a living. And I sure as hell don't know why she does it, because it is dangerous as hell for her, and she admitted that to me earlier. Telling me she wants to quit. But if anybody can stop whoever is taking my cattle, it's the both of you. You're both professionals. Now again do you want the work or not?” John said sternly. Looking Gavin straight in the eye.
Gavin thought about if for a few seconds and looked at Logan, who was looking at him and still shaking her head yes, with her eyes widened in approval. She was standing slightly behind John and on his left. He really could not see her facial gestures at Gavin, though he is keenly aware, that she's doing all she can to persuade him. After a few seconds, Gavin finally looks at John, and agrees to work for him. Though he's still not totally convinced in his mind about working for hire like this. He has Hogg on his mi
nd.
He really wasn't sure he wanted the job. But one thing he does know, is that he wants is to be near Logan. And its not about her keeping her promise to him to hunt down Hogg and his gang. For sometime now he's thought of nothing but her, even as he chased Hogg and his gang all over West Texas. He'd been thinking that when he found her again, he wants to stay close to her. He wants her close to him. He wants to be where she is. He loves her.
Maybe he too is thinking about settling down. He's not sure. All he knows is that when he rode into her camp the other night, he didn't want the two of them to go in different directions anymore. He wants to be where she is, and she wants to be here at Sanderson's Hill Ranch, helping John get rid of the rustlers. So if working here keeps him close to Logan, then that is what he'll do.
Logan is glad Gavin accepted the job, she wants him here too, with her, and like Gavin this isn't just about hunting Bailey Hogg and his gang. She of course for months on end now has wanted to settle someplace, and when they came to Rio Doso together this job offer made sense for her. She thinks it makes good sense for him too, though she would never tell him what to do. But she does want him near her, she's glad he's decided to stay on and work for John. She loves Gavin, she always has. Seeing him for the first time in over a year the other night, has given her a renewed powerful sense of interest in him. All she knows is he took the job, he's going to be here at the ranch with her, and she loves it.
While he was talking to John and accepting the job, Gavin never took his eyes off of her, except to look at John telling him he'd take the job. Never have they connected to each other like that before. Deep. At first she figured that he's gazing at her cause he's just horny, and while she knows that is also true, for both of them. This look from him tells her he wants to be near her. His soft smile in her direction, looked past John, and into her eyes. His look tells her there is something more, something different about their relationship this time.
Logan wonders is he thinking about stopping being a bounty hunter too? He has never said or indicated to her that was his intention. But maybe he wants to quit too, and settle down, though he's not ready to admit it to her or to anyone else. After all he knows she's planning on stopping, she's made it clear to him that Hogg is her last bounty, if and when they encounter them.
