Madeline looked at Sabine, raised a perfectly arched eyebrow, gave Lilly a close look and nodded in agreement. Lilly followed Madeline into the bathroom and took a seat on a high stool. Madeline tugged and combed through her snarled hair while Lilly chewed on her bottom lip and tried not to shriek. “Do you want me to cut your hair short?” Madeline asked.
Lilly reached around to the back of her waist and felt her hair. “Do you want to cut it to your shoulders or shorter?” Madeline asked.
Lilly inspected her face and hair in the mirror Madeline put in her hand. She stared at her reflection, pressed her lips together, tossed her head and said, “What the hell, cut it short.” Madeline began to cut. The weight of Lilly’s hair fell to the floor. Looking into the hand mirror, Lilly was surprised to see the silver blond curls of her childhood, framing her face.
Madeline stepped back and looked at Lilly. After a moment she said, “Your light hair will take color easily. Since you are wanting a new look, how about auburn?”
Lilly shrugged slightly and mumbled, “sure.”
As Madeline worked the color into her hair, she chatted about life at Panthea’s; her lover, her job and how much she wanted and needed car. Lilly listened patiently, managing to reveal very little about herself. A couple of hours had passed when Madeline, once again, placed the mirror in her hand. Lilly looked into the mirror and didn’t recognize the girl staring out at her. She gasped and ran her hands through her short auburn curls.
“What do you think? Do you like it?”
Lilly continued to stare into the mirror. Noticing her mouth hanging open, she quickly snapped it shut, turned to Madeline and smiled. “Yea, I like it. I don’t recognize myself.”
“Exactly the effect we were going for,” Madeline said with a laugh. “Oh, wait I have one more thing to complete your total transformation. Rummaging through her purse, Madeline produced a pair of round granny glasses. “Try these, the lenses are clear, but they will add to your disguise. Let’s see how you look with them on.”
It was mid-afternoon when Lilly’s transformation was complete. She returned to her apartment for a change of clothes. Before she left her bedroom, she straightened the granny glasses on her nose, shook her auburn curls, and stared in amazement at the stranger in the mirror.
A few minutes later she was in the courtyard petting Topaz, as he sat on the rim of the fountain. With her head high, she took a deep breath, walked up the carriageway, through the gate and entered Panthea’s Pantry. Jolene looked up and automatically inquired, “Can I help you find something?”
Lilly smiled and answered smartly, “I was told I had a job here today.”
Jolene did a double take as her mouth fell open. “Oh, mon Dieu, you look completely different. You will be safe.”
The smile faded from Lilly’s face, she shivered, fear churned in her stomach and exploded into anxiety. “Will I be safe? Can a disguise work? How long before he finds me? He will kill me if he finds me now.”
“Nonsense,” Jolene said firmly, “he’s not going to do anything to you. I am going to teach you a quick way to protect yourself. The first step of self-protection: Call on your spirit guides, guardians and allies. Speak these words out loud or in your mind, ‘Spirit guides, guardians and allies, please be with me and protect me.’
“Second step: In your mind’s eye, create a mirrored, protective egg around your body. The mirrored-egg creates a bubble of protection and repels harmful energy. Positive energy will flow through to you. Make those specifications the first time you create your protective bubble.”
“Third step: Thank your spirit guides, guardians and allies. You are safe to head out the door.”
“I, as well as many of my students, have used the mirrored-egg protection. It works beautifully. Once you create it, with intention, it will become second nature for you to call on it before you step outside.”
“Remember to create it before you leave the safety of Panthea’s. Our wards are strong in the shop. Once you are out on the street, your mirrored-egg will provide the protection you need.”
Biting her lower lip for a second, Lilly nodded slowly. “Thank you. I need to feel safe if I’m going to make a new life for myself.” After some discussion and a few giggles, Lilly and Jolene agreed she would go by the name of Lyla in the shop. The pseudonym was the final piece of her disguise.
~
After weeks of working days and spending secluded nights in her apartment, Lilly grew weary of her self- imposed confinement. On her day off from her job at Panthea’s she stood in her apartment, called forth the mirrored-egg of protection and ventured out the door and into the streets of the French Quarter.
Wearing large dark glasses and a big floppy hat, another gift from Madeline, Lilly set out to explore. She discovered a second-hand store on Royal Street called The Far Out. Rummaging through used clothing, shoes, boots, jewelry, books, scarves and a hundred other unique items, Lilly created a new look for herself. She began to relax as she blended in with the artists, hippies and gypsy’s living in the Quarter. She walked among them dressed in long velvet skirts, colorful gypsy blouses, lacy, fringed shawls and knee-high suede boots. Striding confidently, she caught a glimpse of herself in a store window. Stopping to examine her reflection, she was surprised by the young woman looking out at her. The casual observer would never recognize the carefree, spirited, young hippie as the tortured, rail-thin, battered wife she had been a short time ago.
Even though her disguise was good and she trusted the mirrored-egg protection, wariness lingered. She continued to scan the sidewalks, determined no one from the Castiglio family lurked nearby.
Nurse Trudy had been right about the anonymity available in the French Quarter. Lilly was grateful she had taken her advice. The regular inhabitants of New Orleans: the affluent uptown families, the old money families in the Garden District and those who made the white flight to the suburbs, were not comfortable in the French Quarter of 1972.
Residents of the French Quarter lived along the narrow cobblestone streets, sat on balconies overlooking lush courtyards and called their home by its original name, Vieux Carre, or simply The Quarter.
Artists, musicians, and eccentrics frequented the sidewalk cafes near Jackson Square. Old men, with pointed goatees, smoked cigars as they sipped absinthe or drank rich coffee with chicory.
Young women sold head wreaths of flowers streaming multi-colored ribbons. Street musicians played on corners, day and night. They dipped their heads in thanks, as bottom up hats caught the tossed coins of passersby. The scene thrilled Lilly. She entertained the idea of joining the ranks of the street musicians but first she needed a flute.
Jackson Square was full of artists sitting under brightly colored umbrellas, smoking cigarettes and gossiping as they waited for their next customer to approach.
Bourbon Street bustled with tourists seeking forbidden thrills. Barkers opened doors allowing momentary glimpses of young women slithering seductively on silver poles. Captured by the darker side of the French Quarter, the young strippers tossed their long hair, revealing sequined pasties glittering the nipples of their ample breasts. Jazz musicians shook their heads, as the dancers undulated to the hard beat of the psychedelic rock and roll blasting over the jazz that had once defined New Orleans.
The buildings, old and crumbling, the cheap rent, and the laissez-faire attitude of the inhabitants drew in the free love generation. The young freaks and hippies poured out of VW vans and old school buses painted in mind-blowing psychedelic colors. They came looking for the good vibes, sex, drugs and rock and roll that had played themselves out in San Francisco. The French Quarter opened its warm arms to their free spirits, long hair, and love beads.
Lilly blended and thrived in the colorful milieu of the Quarter. Although she had not yet awakened to the secret world of the French Quarter, the world of the supernatural, her gift of ‘sight’ once again kicked in occasionally. In those moments, she caught a glimp
se of psychedelic fractals swirling around the newly arrived flower children.
~
Working in the shop, Lilly listened intently as Jolene discussed the practice of witchcraft and the mystic’s path with regular customers in the shop. After her first month working at Panthea’s Pantry, she had absorbed bits and pieces of witchcraft lore, astrological phenomenon, ritual workings and visionary experiences.
As the Winter Solstice approached the tug of magick pulled Lilly towards the Craft. She did not speak of her interest, but began to read one of the magick books Jolene had written, From Magick to Mysticism. The ancient teachings, rituals and sacred paths described in the book resonated with Lilly’s soul.
Sitting on the couch in her apartment, a cup of hot tea in one hand and Jolene’s book in the other. Lilly was deeply immersed in the planetary aspects that effected life on Earth when voices in the courtyard drew her attention. Glancing at her wrist watch she remembered the Winter Solstice ritual in the courtyard tonight. Jolene had not invited her to participate, however she had suggested she observe. Lilly stood on the gallery overlooking the courtyard and watched in awe as the white clad group below created a sparkling energy within their circle and lifted their voices welcoming the reborn sun.
Chapter 8
Trust Your Vibes
It was January in New Orleans yet the cool autumn air lingered. Lilly danced around her apartment in her long, flowery diaphanous dress. Her heart stirred as she celebrated the freedom of her new life. ‘It’s a new year and I have a new life,’ she thought. ‘I love my job, my apartment and my freedom.’
Standing in the courtyard enjoying the cool morning breeze for a moment, Lilly’s bright mood was dampened by worry. Sabine was scheduled to return any day and Lilly feared her services at Panthea’s would no longer be needed. She knocked on Jolene’s kitchen door, turned the doorknob and peaked her head into the kitchen. Jolene was taking cream from the refrigerator when she heard the door open. Turning with a smile, she greeted Lilly, “Come in, ma chere, let’s have a cup of coffee before we open the shop.”
Sitting at the round oak table sipping coffee and nibbling on a croissant, Lilly voiced her job concerns to Jolene.
“Non, non, ma chere, there is no need to worry. Mardi Gras is coming up and we will be over- run with tourists seeking love potions, money-drawing oil, good fortunes and hangover cures. You will be needed, don’t worry.”
A sigh escaped Lilly as her body relax. “Thank you, Jolene.”
“No need to thank me, Lyla. You are very enterprising and a great asset. We are happy to have you.”
“You think I’m an asset?” Lilly asked, with a light tremble in her voice. “Sometimes my life here at Panthea’s seems surreal. I have to pinch myself to make sure I am not dreaming. When I know I’m not dreaming, fear tries to overwhelm me. Maybe I don’t deserve this life. Something could change and my new life might disappear.”
Jolene put her coffee cup down, and looked into Lilly’s eyes, “All of us experience fear, uncertainty and overwhelm during our lives. You are making big changes in your life. It is understandable you would feel discomfort, uncertainty and fear.”
“You’ve been through hell and you’re finding your way back to yourself. It may seem like you’re doing a trapeze act without a net. Over time, taking each day, sometimes each minute, you learn balance. You learn to land on your feet and no longer worry about the net. From my point of view, you are doing fantastic!”
Lilly managed a weak smile. “I appreciate your faith in me. I’m glad to be free of Alex and making a life of my own. What’s most frightening to me is groping in the dark. From the time I was a child I could see the swirling colors around people, animals, trees and plants. The colors were how I navigated the world. I could tell who was trustworthy, who was happy, who liked me. The colors faded slowly. Last summer they disappeared completely. Now I have no way to see who I can trust!”
Jolene spoke in a soothing tone, “You’re talking about seeing auras. You were lucky to develop the ability when you were a child. No doubt, your father guided you in the process. Over time, your third eye closed as you had to handle the abuse from your family and Alex. Sabine and I will work with you to help you open it again. There are meditations, rituals and sacred sacraments to open the third eye. This is not a permanent blindness.”
Lilly sighed, partly in relief and partly in frustration. Jolene squeezed her hand, “Oh, Lilly, all is not lost. Everything is about energy. Learning to trust the way you feel around certain people and places will tell you if a connection with them is a good idea.”
With a pinched, tension filled expression, Lilly shrugged her shoulders and looked at her hands. “I never had to try to see the colors, they were always there. Now you’re saying I have to learn a new way to navigate the world?”
Jolene smiled and reassured her, “Energy awareness is not difficult and it is often more informative than seeing the colors. Today you hear people talking about good vibes and bad vibes. They are talking about energy. You can tap into the energy of people and situations and get the same information you would get from seeing the colors.”
A look of doubt passed over Lilly’s face as a frown deepened between her brows.
“Oh, ma chere, how many times have you passed someone on the street and felt a chill go down your spine or goose bumps on your arms? Have you ever met someone who was saying one thing but you could tell their words were different from their true feeling? Oh, and think about people you spend a short time with who leave you drained of energy. What about people you love to be around because you feel joyful for no particular reason? You have experienced the energy field of others. Don’t label yourself as blind! You don’t have to perpetuate your victimhood. Tap into the vibes.”
Lilly’s hand flew to the center of her chest as the deep muscles surrounding her heart softened allowing fear to unwind. Absentmindedly she moved her hand from her chest to her forehead. She rubbed the space between her eyebrows, easing the tightness and tension causing a permanent crease between her eyes. She nodded at Jolene and agreed, “I suppose paying attention to energy would be beneficial on many levels.”
“Yes,” Jolene said, “Seeing the colors was easy. Listening, watching and opening to vibrations, brings you into a fuller engagement with people. I suggest you practice being present. Overtime, you will develop a deeper awareness.”
Lilly felt the tingling beginning in her fingers. The tingling was growing stronger. It engulfed her hands and wrists. She stood up, wringing and shaking her hands. Jolene watched her for a few minutes before she asked, “What is going on Lilly? Is something happening to your hands?”
Lilly chewed her bottom lip, looked away and put her hands behind her back.
Jolene continued to stare at her. “Come on Lilly, what is going on with your hands?”
“They’re tingling. It used to be only my fingers, but now the tingling moves up into my hands. I don’t know what to do about it. Alex hated it and was always yelling at me about rubbing my fingers together. I know it is an annoying habit, but they tingle.”
“Good Goddess, I missed this completely. You mentioned tingling fingers the first day we met. It went right past me.”
“Have you ever heard of such a thing, Jolene? Do you know what I can do?”
Jolene nodded slowly, “I’ve never come across anyone who had them, I have only read about the phenomenon.”
Lilly twisted her fingers then rubbed her hands down the front of her skirt, “Do you have any idea how I can get it to stop?”
Jolene closed her eyes and sat silently for a few minutes, Suddenly, she opened her eyes and began to speak. “It may be that your hands and fingers are filling with an energy for manifestation. Have you tried using them to direct energy?”
“Uh, no. I have never thought of that,” Lilly said.
Jolene stood and took Lilly’s hands, turned them over and looked at the palms. “Your fingertips and
palms are thrumming with energy. They may hold the power of focused intention within them, the same way a magick wand would be charged and used to focus energy. My wand is consecrated and imbued with personal energy. I use it as an extension of my hand, pointing to and defining my will. From what you are saying, and from feeling the energy emanating from your hands, you do not need an outside tool. Your hands are giving you a signal and sending you a message to focus.”
“Okay, but how do I know what the signal means, or what do with it?”
Jolene answered, “I use a magick wand when I want to effect change or quickly manifest something. If I don’t have my wand with me, my first inclination is to point my finger and use it as a wand. Anyone could use their finger in a pinch. It appears your fingers are exceptional. They have a sentience that give you the signal to focus your intention. I suggest, when you feel the tingling, you put your awareness on the thought preceding the tingling or what you were looking at when the tingling began. The vision of what you can manifest, change or create will be held in your mind as you point your tingling finger.”
A slow smile spread across Lilly’s face, “This could be good news. Fingers that double as magick wands. What a convenient tool!”
Jolene agreed. “The power of intention is the core of magic. You have magical gifts and I would like to offer you training in the Craft. Would you be interested in learning and possibly joining us in our rituals?”
“Yes!” Lilly exclaimed.
Chapter 9
An Early Initiation
Jolene and James sat across from one another in a pool of candlelight. Eyes closed, minds stilled, hands in laps, they sat in silent meditation. They had been sitting for about an hour when James stirred, opened his eyes and stretched.
Jolene slowly opened her eyes and watched James. Her hands covered her heart. James stilled and looked at her across the candle flame. Neither spoke until James lifted his eyebrows and tilted his head inquiringly.
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