‘Colin has gone home,’ she told him. ‘He locked up down below and left just before you arrived, but I know he’d love you to go and see him.’
‘I suppose I might as well hear what he has to say now that I’m here,’ he said with assumed easiness.
‘Where are you working at the moment?’ she asked. If it was something challenging and exciting, he wasn’t going to want to come back to country life.
‘I’ve been doing some floating around as a locum. Killing time, really, until I found something that I wanted to stick with.’
‘So you didn’t veer off into a hospital environment.’
‘I thought of it, but general practice is what I do best. So I’ll pop round to see Colin and no doubt he’ll let you know the outcome of our meeting.’
It was the outcome of their meeting that she was concerned about, she thought painfully. From what Steve had just said, he didn’t intend calling back after he’d seen the senior partner, which didn’t sound hopeful.
‘Bye, Sallie,’ he said at the door. ‘Take care of yourself and Liam.’
She nodded and turned away. It had been on the tip of her tongue to say that the comment was somewhat overdue. That she’d had a lot of practice at taking care of herself.
From the window she watched him go, driving towards Colin’s house and out of her life again. Once his car was out of sight, reaction began to set in and she felt weak and disorientated. If anyone had told her an hour ago that Steve would be standing in that very room before the night was out she would have laughed.
As the minutes ticked by she found herself wandering from room to room. Was Steve still with Colin? she wondered. Or had their meeting been brief and he was on his way back to Gloucestershire? Would the senior partner let her know what had been decided tonight, or leave it until the morning?
She made a meal but couldn’t eat it. When the doorbell rang a second time she ran down the stairs and flung the door open, but it wasn’t Steve on the step this time. It was Colin, observing her with a satisfied expression.
‘He’s coming back, Sallie,’ he said. ‘What do you think about that?’
‘To be honest, I don’t know,’ she breathed. ‘Are you happy about it?’
‘Yes, I’m delighted. He didn’t need much persuading. Said he’s been working in inner cities since he left and has really missed village life. He’ll have to fulfil his commitment to the practice where he’s working at present and will join us in a month’s time.’
So he’d missed village life, but not his village wife, she thought wryly. But at least he was going to be where she could see him every day, talk to him, even if it was only about the patients. Would he want to come back to the apartment or find a place of his own? she wondered as her mind leapt from one possibility to another.
‘You are happy about it, aren’t you, Sallie?’ Colin asked.
‘Yes, of course I am. You’ve created an opportunity for Steve and I to put things right between us, Colin, and I thank you for it. But I have to say it won’t be easy. Three years is a long sentence for someone who did nothing wrong.’
‘Yes. I know, my dear,’ he said gravely. ‘All I can say to that is Steve was in deep despair, and me asking him to come back is because I hate to see you apart when you had such a good marriage. If his return should prove that it is mendable, I will be a happy man. I want the best for the practice, but I want to see the two of you back together even more.’
When Colin had gone, Sallie sank down onto the sofa and tried to sort out her thoughts. She had come alive during the last few hours. The husband she’d loved more than life itself had appeared at her door and she was still in shock. But what had happened to them wasn’t going to be wiped out like a bad dream. It would always be there. She could live with it, but if Steve hadn’t moved on during their separation there wasn’t really anything to rejoice about.
He had told her to find someone else who could give her children on that never-to-be-forgotten night when he’d driven out of her life, but he’d still been uptight at seeing her with Liam in her arms. It had been there in his glance for the briefest of seconds and then it had gone.
She went into the bedroom and stood looking down at the sleeping baby. ‘I’ve seen Steve today, Liam,’ she told him. ‘He was near enough to touch. He looks older, tired, yet the magnetism is still there. But I am not going to let him hurt me again…ever.’
There was no comment forthcoming, just a windy little smile that said all was right with his world.
While Sallie’s had been wistful thoughts about the past, Steve’s were very much in the future as he drove back to his rented flat in a busy market town in the Midlands.
Colin’s proposal that he rejoin the practice and run it jointly with Sallie had opened the doors that he, Steve, had shut behind him in the trauma of three years ago. He was being given a second chance and hadn’t needed to be asked twice.
This was where he belonged, he’d thought. In the beautiful Cheshire village that he should never have left in the first place. Here Sallie would be back in his life again. Not as before maybe. He didn’t deserve that, but he would be able to see her, speak to her and work with her once more.
He would have liked to have gone back to the apartment and told her himself that he’d agreed to Colin’s suggestion. It would have been another opportunity to see her, if only briefly. A chance to gauge just how enthusiastic she was going to be about the new arrangement, but common sense had said it would be pushing it, foisting himself onto her twice in one day.
She hadn’t given a straight answer when he’d asked how she would feel about him coming back, and he could hardly blame her for that. She’d almost dropped the baby when she’d seen him standing on the doorstep, while he had immediately thought wretchedly that he’d left it too late.
When she’d told him the child wasn’t hers he had sent up a silent prayer of thanks. It had been followed by another when he’d heard what Colin had to say. And now he was going back to the place where he’d worked for the last nine months to tie up loose ends and prepare for the move, and if it meant waiting a few more weeks before he saw Sallie again, he could endure it. Compared to three years, it would be like a moment in time.
Colin had suggested that instead of he and Jessica putting their house up for sale, Steve could rent it if he wished. He’d hesitated. For one thing it was a large family house and a family was something he hadn’t got. And for another, if there was the slightest chance of Sallie being prepared to have him back in the apartment, he wouldn’t want to miss out on that.
‘Think it over for a couple of weeks,’ the senior partner had said. ‘You’ve made the most important decision—the rest will fall into place.’
The practice side of it might, he’d thought wryly. But his marriage wasn’t going to suddenly resurrect itself, and he had only himself to blame for that.
He’d gone to the local garage to fill up the petrol tank before setting off on the return journey and had seen another face from the past at the petrol pumps.
Anna Gresty and her husband had a farm on the road that led out of the village. When he’d been around previously it had been a prosperous, well-run establishment with a farm shop and stables. But from what she’d had to tell him, life was not now so good for the Grestys.
After she’d expressed her pleasure at the sight of him and been even more pleased to hear that he was coming back to work in the practice, Anna had told him soberly that her husband, Philip, was no longer the fit man that he’d been. That he’d been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and the illness was taking its toll.
The two men had been good friends. With no parents of his own, Steve had felt that the burly farmer had filled the gap that the loss of his father had left, and sometimes they’d gone walking together or played golf.
He’d been desperately sorry to hear that his friend had succumbed to something so debilitating and had told Anna, ‘I’ll be back permanently in just a few weeks’ time and th
at man of yours will be my first priority. Who’s been looking after him, Colin or Sallie?’
‘He’s been one of Colin’s patients,’ she’d told him.
‘And Colin is moving away, so now Philip will be mine.’ He smiled. ‘Well, I need to get going, but it was good to see you. Tell Philip I’ll see him soon.’
‘Take care, Steve.’
‘You, too, Anna,’ he’d replied, and after giving her a swift kiss on the cheek he’d driven away from the pumps and out onto the road that led to the motorway.
Anna hadn’t asked about Sallie and he was glad. Time enough for that when he knew where he stood with his wife. The news about Philip had brought him up with a jolt, taken the edge off his elation. It was another stick to beat himself with, that he hadn’t been there for the man when he’d needed him
It was gone midnight when he arrived back at the drab flat that had been his home over recent months, and Steve had already decided that if he wasn’t going to see Sallie again until the date of the transfer, he was going to allow himself the pleasure of hearing her voice again. But it would have to wait until the morning as she would almost certainly be asleep.
He rang early the next day. When she answered he could hear the baby crying in the background and asked, ‘What’s wrong with Liam?’
‘Nothing,’ she told him coolly. ‘Except that he’s just woken up and wants his breakfast. So what do you want, Steve?’ Now there was a chill in her voice.
He winced at the other end of the line. He’d got off on the wrong foot again by mentioning the baby.
‘I’m phoning to ask if Colin has told you that I’ve agreed to come back and share the running of the practice with you.’
‘Yes, he’s told me.’
‘And?’
‘Better the devil one knows, I suppose,’ she said with the same lack of warmth.
‘I see,’ he said slowly. ‘So I’m going to be tolerated. I was going to ask if I could move back into the apartment, on a strictly business arrangement, of course, and only if you’re comfortable with it. Colin has offered me his house to rent and I’ve told him I’ll think about it, but it would be easier from a working point of view if I was based above the surgery.’
Sallie slumped down onto the chair near the phone. She felt as if her legs were going to give way. He hadn’t changed, she was thinking. No sooner the thought than the deed. But he was going to have to stew for a while.
Steve had returned to the village out of curiosity, because he’d heard Colin was looking for him. He hadn’t come back because he couldn’t stay away from her any longer. So far there had been no mention of the day when he’d turned her life into a mere existence.
Surely he didn’t think that by coming back he had blotted it out. She had cried into her pillow for nights on end and exhausted herself in the daytime, coping with the gap he’d left in the practice, and now it felt that he was contemplating returning as if nothing had happened.
There was silence at the other end of the line and Steve thought he’d blown it. Why couldn’t he have waited a few days before asking if he could come back to live in the apartment? Yet he’d known all along that if he ever saw Sallie again he would be lost. That the firm resolve that had kept him from her would disappear, and he hadn’t been wrong. He wanted her back with every fibre of his being and he was going the wrong way about it. Sounding pushy and confident when he was feeling anything but.
‘I’d have to have a long think on that one,’ she was saying into the silence. ‘I’ve got used to living on my own. One can get used to anything in time. And now I have Liam to brighten my days. It’s only temporary, but it would be a strange set-up, an estranged husband and wife living under the same roof with someone else’s baby.’
‘All right,’ he agreed. ‘Whatever you say. I’ll probably tell Colin that I’ll accept his offer to rent his house.’
The baby was exercising his lungs again and Sallie said, ‘I’ll have to go, Steve. I’ll be in touch when I’ve given your suggestion some thought.’
‘Fair enough,’ he said. ‘Bye for now, Sal.’
As she put the phone down her eyes were awash with tears. Theirs had been the strangest of separations. There’d been no one else involved, just the two of them…and cancer.
Steve had been strong and resilient and had tried to take it in his stride. But when it had affected his chances of fatherhood, he had hit rock bottom.
CHAPTER TWO
COLIN and Jessica were leaving to start their new life in Canada on a Saturday in June. Four weeks had gone by since Steve had first arrived back in the village and now he was due to return on Sunday in readiness to take over his position in the practice on Monday morning. As the days had gone by, each one bringing nearer the moment of his arrival, Sallie had tried to keep calm.
Fortunately Liam took up a lot of her free time, which gave her less opportunity to question what was happening to her. He was filling out and becoming aware of the world around him, with little toothless smiles for herself and Hannah.
She kept thinking how bizarre it was that Steve, who so desperately wanted children, should come back into her life when she was caring for Melanie’s baby, and the fact that she’d offered him the spare room if he wanted it was going to complicate matters even more.
But as she’d told him when she’d rung to let him know her decision, the apartment was as much his as hers and the room was there if he wanted it. That had been all she’d said, but the message had been clear. He would not be sleeping in her bed, much as she ached to feel him close once more.
‘Fine, Sal,’ he’d said immediately. ‘It really will be more convenient to live above the surgery but only if you’re sure.’
He was the only person who’d ever called her Sal and when she’d said a cool goodbye she had wished he wouldn’t. The name belonged to the past. To the good days when they’d lived for each other. Before circumstances had changed out of all recognition the husband she’d adored.
When she said goodbye to Colin he’d hugged her and told her, ‘I hope I haven’t done the wrong thing in bringing Steve back into your life, Sallie.’
She shook her head. ‘No. I needed this, Colin. It is a second chance and if it doesn’t work out, this time at least I’ll have closure. I’ve lived in a miserable sort of limbo ever since he went and that isn’t how I want to spend the rest of my days.’
And now it was Sunday evening. Steve had phoned to say that he was on his way and would be arriving in the village within the hour.
‘Your great-uncle Stephen is coming home,’ she told Liam as she bent over his cot and watched his golden lashes drooping. He gave a sleepy smile and she thought how her small charge was completely unaware of the significance of the moment. He had a full stomach and a dry bottom and was ready to sleep.
A ring on the doorbell told her that the moment had arrived and she went downstairs quickly to let him in. Her heartbeat was quickening and her face flushed as she faced him in the doorway. It was like it had been on that night a month ago when she’d opened the door to him, but this time she already knew who would be standing there.
So far neither of them had spoken. Steve was holding a suitcase in each hand and observing her with an expression that told her nothing. ‘Is there anything else you need to bring in?’ she croaked.
‘No,’ he told her. ‘I was in rented accommodation and travel light. How are you?’
‘I’m all right,’ she replied quietly, and led the way upstairs.
He was looking around him. ‘Where’s Liam?’
‘Asleep in his cot in my room,’ she told him. ‘I don’t expect you’ll hear much of him during the night. He sleeps right through now.’
She was gabbling like a nervous schoolgirl, she thought, and had no reason to. Steve was the one who should be ill at ease. He looked pale but composed and she said, ‘Have you eaten?’
He observed her blankly as if she was speaking a foreign language. ‘I’m all right. I had a bacon sand
wich at midday. But I wouldn’t mind a cuppa.’ He moved towards the spare room and paused in the doorway, then went in and put the suitcases down.
She’d had the room redecorated, emptied the wardrobe, bought new bed linen, and all the time hadn’t been able to believe she was doing it for Steve. But as proof that she had been doing it for him, he was there, throwing his jacket onto the bed and turning towards her like a guest who had just arrived for a short stay.
If he’d held out his arms she would have found it difficult not to have gone into them like a homing bird, but he didn’t. He merely said, as a guest might have, ‘The room looks nice. I see you’ve changed the colour scheme.’
She nodded unsmilingly, and followed it by saying, ‘I’ll go and put the kettle on while you unpack.’ And without giving him the chance to come out with any more trivialities, she hurried into the kitchen, filled the kettle and then leaned limply against the units.
His unpacking couldn’t have taken long as by the time she’d gathered her wits and was making him a sandwich, Steve appeared in the doorway and stood watching her with a dark, inscrutable sort of concentration that had her faltering in her task.
‘If that is for me, thanks,’ he said. ‘But I don’t want you to feel you have to feed me. I’ll see to myself.’
Sallie slowly put the knife down. ‘I don’t intend waiting on you. But If you are suggesting we eat separately, forget it, Steve. I know what you like and you know what I like, so I suggest we take turns. One day I’ll fix the meals and the next you can do it. There’s also Liam to feed and that can be time-consuming.’
‘Fine.’ Steve nodded. ‘So when it’s your turn to prepare our meals, I’ll feed him. How about that, as you seem to be in favour of us eating together?’
‘It is merely a matter of what is easiest and quickest, that’s all,’ she said evenly. ‘Making the best of a bad job. Once you’ve had a drink and a bite, maybe we could discuss practice matters. This time tomorrow you’ll have spent your first day back in the surgery. But before we talk there is just one thing.’ She met his gaze. ‘Is it going to upset you, having Liam in such close proximity? I know how you…’
The Village Doctor's Marriage Page 2
