“Maybe I sound bitter,” she conceded. “But you have to see it from my point of view. Eddie made a choice that changed both of our lives. He shouldn’t get off scot free.”
“Did you go to the police?” I asked blandly. “Report me missing? I mean, am I on one of those missing kid sites?”
Marni shifted uncomfortably. Then lifting her chin, she sniffed. “The police had it out for me. They only saw me as a junkie. They didn’t care that I was your mother or that I loved you. No matter what Eddie’s told you, Alex, I’ve always loved you and I never hurt you. I promise you, that wasn’t me.”
What the shit? If someone stole my kid - hell if someone snatched Little Dick out of my hands - I’d make a fucking report.
Warning signs were going up all over our bumpy road to reconciliation. Had something happened to me when I was a baby—something bad enough that Tucker felt the need to hide me from my mother? Sure, Marni had been an addict, but plenty of questionable people raised offspring. Not always well. But they did it. Tucker could have left me in her care and went on his merry way. But he hadn’t. Instead he’d chosen to take the drastic measure of hiding me… in plain sight.
“Did someone hurt me?”
The color drained so drastically from Marni’s face, she looked like a wrinkly corpse. “No.”
“You said that it wasn’t you who hurt me.”
“I… I meant in general.”
“No, you didn’t.”
“Bodhi, please. I’m here to get to know you. I want to reestablish a connection with you. I know I’m probably not the mother you hoped for, but I have never stopped loving you. Ever. Haven’t you ever made mistakes in your life that you regret?”
Honestly, no, I thought to myself. Tucker had never allowed me to become a man who could make those mistakes. He’d kept me sheltered. Under his wing. And as much as I resented him for it, had Tucker not stepped up all those years ago, my life would have been completely different. I wouldn’t be Bodhi Beckett, teen idol and member of one of the biggest boy bands in the world. And I wouldn’t have the money to live comfortably for the rest of my life.
She took a step forward, but I dropped my gaze.
“Just give me a chance, Bodhi,” she pleaded. “Please. If not for me, then for your half-brothers.”
My head shot up, a lump forming in my throat. I had brothers? Siblings were something I’d wanted my whole life, and now she was handing them to me on a silver platter.
Detecting the change in my demeanor, Marni rushed to take her phone from her pocket. She turned the screen in my direction and every dream I’d ever had of being a big brother came to life.
“Evan is sixteen and Jonah is thirteen.”
I nodded, magnifying and moving the picture around to get a better look. Like me, Evan had dark hair and angled features, but that’s where the similarities ended. His eyes were ink black and his smile didn’t reach his eyes. Jonah, on the other hand, couldn’t contain his grin if he tried. He was pure joy and contentment. Of mixed race, his skin was darker than mine, but his eyes… they were blue like Marni’s. Like mine.
I marveled at this incredible find, feeling a surge of anger toward my father. He’d done this to me. Kept me from the one thing I’d wanted my whole life— brothers. A family.
“Do they know about me?”
“They know about Alex, but they don’t know Alex is Bodhi Beckett. I only just found out myself. Eddie changed your identity. I watched you grow up on television but never knew you were my son.”
Her shoulders slumped and, for the first time, I saw the toll my absence must have taken on her.
“I’m sorry,” I said, touching her for the first time as I rubbed circles on her back soothingly. “I didn’t know any of this. He told me you were dead.”
“He told you I was dead? I thought you just didn’t want to see me.” All traces of vulnerability vanished and she muttered under her breath, “Oh, I’m going to bury him just like he buried me.”
Her comment was troubling enough that I questioned her story. Was Marni already in contact with Tucker? Was he paying her off to stay away from me?
The question was too troubling to risk asking now that my brothers were involved. I had to play nice if I ever wanted a shot at a relationship with them.
Settling on a more neutral inquiry I asked, “How did you find us?”
“About four months ago, I saw a picture of you and Eddie together. He’s gotten older and richer, but I’d know him anywhere. And then when I saw you beside him, it all fell into place.”
And that explained why my father never wanted to be photographed with me. The picture she’d seen must’ve been taken by paparazzi because he’d never willingly allow that to happen. He always kept his distance when cameras were around, claiming he wanted it to be about me.
Who wants to take pictures of my ugly mug anyway? he’d say.
Pushing aside the memory, I met my mother’s gaze.
“So, what is it you want from me?”
She placed a hand on my shoulder. And I let her.
“I want to know you, of course.” She smiled. “Be a part of your life and have you be part of ours.”
“And what about Tucker?”
She shrugged. “What about him?”
“Are you going to press charges against him?”
Had it been my kid that someone had stolen, I’d want justice. Or at least some sort of police intervention.
“I think there’s a way we can come to an understanding, Eddie and me.”
Wrong answer.
21
Breeze: Round Two
Sitting by the picture window in the front of the house, I anxiously waited for my man to return home from the visit with his mother. Every scenario had passed through my mind. It could go either way. Bodhi’s expectations were high, but so was his doubt. How did one wrap their brain around twenty-four years lost?
After last night, I was more conflicted than ever. Ever since Bodhi had barreled his way into my life, wrapping himself around my heart like twine, I couldn’t imagine existing without him. We had it all— white-hot chemistry, teamwork, and the playful camaraderie I’d always dreamed of in a partner.
But Bodhi was a marked man, hunted by the very people who claimed to love him. My mission, if I chose to accept it, was to bring love, peace, and a sense of normalcy to his crazy life. And I could do that. But at what cost? How much was I willing to lose in order to gain the man of my dreams?
The Range Rover rolled up to the curb and I perked up. A minute passed, and then two, but Bodhi remained inside the vehicle. Imaging the worst, my pulse raced.
Dammit! What was with those luxury vehicles and their dramatically tinted windows? It made gauging the emotional stability of the driver inside near impossible. The longer he stayed put, the more convinced I became that the mommy dearest reunion had not gone well.
Holding back nervous jitters, I braced myself and walked outside. I’d just stepped onto the grass when Bodhi rolled the passenger window down. He was smiling. I let out the breath I’d been holding as I raced to greet him.
Ducking my head inside the car, I grinned. “Hey there, handsome. I take it the meeting went well?”
“Ehh.” Bodhi shrugged. “I think she’s blackmailing my father.”
I searched his face, waiting for the punchline. But there wasn’t one. He was serious. And a little too chipper. “You seem fairly okay with that, so good for you.”
He laughed, clearing up the confusion with three little words. “I have brothers.”
The place in my heart reserved for Bodhi stretched out a little wider. Despite the circumstances, his capacity for love was astounding. “What are they like?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m meeting them tonight at six. Their names are Evan and Jonah. Can you come with me?”
I struggled to keep up with the blur of information. “Of course. Wow, that’s fast.”
“Well, it had to be tonight since I’m leaving for
LA tomorrow.”
As his words sank in, I felt the color drain from my face and a pitiful sob catch in my throat. This couldn’t be right. Not once did he mention that he’d be breaking my heart on a Thursday. “You’re leaving… tomorrow?”
He frowned. “I… yeah, I thought you knew.”
No. No. That was definitely not made clear. Thursdays had once been my favorite day of the week. I mean what was there not to love? You were over the hump day and sliding into the weekend – so much to look forward to. And now, Thursday sucked worse than waiting to press that ‘skip ad’ button on a YouTube video.
Without a word, I turned and slunk off in the direction of the house.
“Breeze?”
Holding up a hand, I kept walking. “I can’t right now, Bodhi.” Before the sob exploded from my throat, I added, “But I’m super happy for you.”
“Breeze, stop!”
He was behind me now, closing the gap between us in record time. I picked up the pace but, before I could make my dramatic exit, Bodhi sprang like a cheetah and caught my arm.
I spun around and, even though I had the urge to knee him in the nuts, the ‘oh shit’ look on his face tempered down my resentment. Instead I slapped his chest.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving tomorrow?”
“I have a concert Friday,” he said, brows knit together over uncertain eyes.
“Friday. Not Thursday.”
He scratched the back of his neck and looked at me like I’d just landed from another planet. “Right, but there’s a lot of preparation that goes into a show. I can’t just pop in ten minutes before the concert starts. Maybe I didn’t make that clear.”
It made sense. Of course it did. Still, I didn’t want to hear it.
Frustrated tears sprung to my eyes at the thought of him being out of my life, and bed, for good.
“Your communication skills suck,” I grumbled, swiping my cheek with the back of my hand.
Bodhi grinned as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m sorry.” He brushed his thumb over my bottom lip. “I should have communicated better. But, I’ll be clearer right now. I want you to come with me.”
My sagging body perked up at the thought of flying to Los Angeles in some private jet, then standing stage side and watching my sorta-boyfriend perform in front of an audience of thousands of fans who wouldn’t crush us against a store front window. How refreshing.
I wanted to say yes—and would have said yes—if the image of my mother’s disappointed face hadn’t overshadowed the concert fantasy now withering out in my head. Instead of watching my man sweat his way across the stage like a Greek god, I would be the one perspiring profusely when my ex-fiancé’s perfectly domesticated life was dangled in front of me like a bad luck charm.
“You have no idea how much I want to, but I just can’t. We have a family reunion this Saturday. I already promised I would go and if I back out now my mother will be so disappointed.”
“Oh.” Bodhi’s optimistic expression faded before my very eyes. “You never said anything about a reunion.”
“Well, since you were leaving on Friday and weren’t going to be in town, I didn’t bother mentioning it. Why?”
“Is he going to be there?”
Inclining my head, I examined Bodhi’s face. Furrowed brow. Pursed lips. And yep, a ticking jaw. He was jealous…of Brandon?
Perhaps it hadn’t been the wisest choice to fill Bodhi in on all the sordid details of the breakup. Even though there were points in my story where he’d been clutching the steering wheel until his knuckles turned white, I never saw this coming.
“He’s married to my cousin, so yeah, I assume he’ll be there.”
“You should have said something.”
“Like you should have told me you were leaving on a Thursday?”
“I’m serious, Breeze. He’d better not mess with you.”
“Do I look like I can’t take care of myself?” Parking my hands on my hips, I hoped it would convey how incredibly badass I was, even though I could feel the Lara Croft awesomeness beginning to fade the more I thought about the reunion.
“I know you can. I just don’t like the idea of some dude making you feel like you’re somehow… less.”
Less? Yes, that was an excellent adjective to use when it came to the love triangle I’d unwittingly found myself in. It didn’t matter how far removed I was, or how much Brandon now repulsed me, my self-esteem had taken a hit and all the memories were still fresh in my mind.
Tipping my head back, I swallowed the dread and flashed Bodhi a brilliant smile. “I’ll be fine. Let’s go inside. I want to hear all about your brothers.”
Before we’d taken a step, four cars came to a screeching halt on the street. Startled, Bodhi let go of my hand, sliding in front of me. It wasn’t until the window slid down on the first vehicle that I breathed a sigh of relief. It was just the teenage boy who lived down the street. I knew him on sight but couldn’t for the life of me remember his name.
“I told you it was her,” Neighbor Boy crowed to someone in the car. The back window slid down, and giggling floated through the air, along with a couple of gasps.
“Jeremy?” I asked, taking my place at Bodhi’s side. “No…it’s Jacob, right?”
“Josh,” he corrected. “Dude, are you dating Bodhi Beckett?”
“Josh, listen…”
Before I could finish my plea for privacy, car doors swung open and an entire pack of teens piled out, heading straight for Bodhi. We were surrounded in an instant.
Taking the interruption in stride, Bodhi said, “Listen, I’m happy to take pictures with you guys, but please keep this quiet. Can you do that?”
Although everyone nodded, snapchats were released into cyberspace and within moments their phones were chirping. It was only a matter of time before our little black hole of a house would be inundated with Dayers from all over the state.
Not that it mattered what I thought, because I’d been unceremoniously pushed to the side. Literally—as some girl had actually shoved me out of the way to gain better access to her idol.
Muscling my way back in to the inner circle, I grabbed Bodhi’s hand. “This is getting out of control. We need to go inside. Now.”
He nodded, and together we broke through the crowd and jogged to the porch where my mother was waiting.
“What’s going on?” she asked, concern painting her features as she eyed the squealing fangirls descending on the house.
“Josh, that kid down the street figured out I was the girl in the ice cream parlor yesterday. He brought his friends.”
Her lips flat lined as she stepped aside, motioning to the door. “Get inside.” With that she marched down the driveway, fingers balled in fists at her side. “Josh McGregor, get your ass out of here right now or I’m calling your mother!”
A moment later, my hundred and ten pound mother stomped inside the door, growling like a Yeti. She bore no resemblance to the mild-mannered flower child of yesteryear.
“Ugh… that kid… “ She rubbed her forehead. “I forgave him for the whole Ding Dong Ditch episode when he was ten, and I even laughed it off when he circulated a petition to have our house declared a historical landmark, but this— messing with my daughter and my favorite pop star —he’s gone too far this time. Now, you know I’m against waterboarding, but maybe if someone just holds Josh down, I could dump a little gutter water onto his forehead and…”
Mom stopped talking when she caught sight of my droopy face and trembling lip.
“We’ll be right back,” she announced to the guys before grabbing my arm and leading me down the narrow hallway to her bedroom. Once the door was securely shut, she folded me into her embrace. She’d always known just how to sooth my tattered soul.
I was a fixer. That was my thing. Bring me your poor, your unstylish, your damaged. Bodhi had been my perfect landscape— a man wounded just enough that fixing him would be my pleasure. But what I hadn’t count
ed on— what hadn’t been factored in to the final project —was, at the end of it all, I would be the one in need of therapy.
Mason was wrong. This was about more than just fearing rejection. It was about losing myself. Bodhi’s life sucked the energy right out of me. I could almost feel my anxiety rising to unhealthy levels. I couldn’t be the girl who cried after every encounter.
Loving Bodhi was one thing. I could do that effortlessly. What I couldn’t do was spend my life being pushed aside and sucked dry by outside forces beyond both of our control.
Mom only allowed me a minute of self-pity before pulling away. “Okay, now that you’ve had your cry, let’s find a solution, shall we?”
“There’s only one solution, Mom. I have to break up with Bodhi Beckett.”
22
Bodhi: An Unlikely Hero
The knock at the door came less than an hour after the neighbor boy sold Breeze out for a chance at some post-euphoric tail. Josh didn’t fool me. He was just in this to do the dance with no pants with as many girls as he could fit into his pimped-out Mercedes. It made me wonder what he got for his efforts aside from a swift kick in the ass from Betsy.
I know what it got me—a puffy-eyed girl who’d been avoiding me like I had an aggressive case of crabs since we stepped into the house. After two unexpected fan encounters, it was clear I couldn’t handle this alone. I needed help and, of course, the last person I wanted it from was the one person who knocked on the door.
Strangely enough, I knew who it was even before I heard his voice. For all the bitching and complaining I did about my father, he’d been the one constant in my life. Never far from my side, I could sometimes predict what he’d say or do before it even happened. And that was why I hadn’t been surprised by his sudden intrusion. It had been expected. After all, Tucker would have spared no expense finding me the minute I’d hung up the phone at Blubber Beach.
Still, I was impressed. He slid into home plate an impressive forty-eight hours later. Although, to be fair, the breadcrumb trail I’d left was the size of Connecticut. But still, to pinpoint my exact location was astute indeed. Sure he’d received a little help from TV and social media. Our freedom dash had made the local news as well as a variety of entertainment shows. A picture of Breeze and I escaping the horde was accompanied by the uber helpful news snippet, ‘Bodhi Beckett and unidentified female chased down in a Northern California coastal community by a stampede of female fans.’ Yep, with that valuable tidbit, it wouldn’t have taken a good investigator more than an hour to track me down.
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