Like The Wind

by Bengtsson, J.

  “It’s something I have to do,” I said with a grim smile. “I don’t expect you to understand, but I do need you to help me with the legal side of things.”

  To my surprise, Tucker nodded. No hesitation. I didn’t even have to use my canned speech to convince him.

  Inside, down deep, he felt something for Marni. She was my mother. And if there was one thing I knew, Tucker loved me. And that love extended to her.

  Tucker pushed to his feet, his phone and my rudimentary contract with my mother in hand.

  “Don’t worry, son. I’ll get it done. And, I know I’m probably the last person you want around Evan but… anything he needs, I’m here.”

  I nodded, thankful for his offer. There was still so much I needed to figure out but my immediate concern was for my little brother’s safety. All the other details could be ironed out later.

  Once Tucker retreated into the bedroom to contact my attorney, I sank onto the couch and stared at the screen on my phone.

  Anxiety churned in my belly. For me. For Evan.

  What if he didn’t agree? What if he was too far gone? What if…

  Pushing the doom and gloom aside, I swiped my finger over Evan’s name.

  He answered on the third ring. “Bodhi? What do you want?”

  Curiosity replaced the venom that had laced his words during our last conversation. I took that as a sign.

  Infusing cheer in my tone, I replied, “Today is the day, Evan.”

  One beat. Two.

  Come on, little brother.

  “For what?”

  I smiled, relief washing over me like cool rain. “For you to matter. I’m your Eddie.”

  26

  Breeze: The Higher Ground

  “Are you sure you’ll be all right to go today?” Mom asked, joining me in the bathroom as I finished curling my hair. “Under the circumstances, maybe it would be best if you stayed home.”

  I couldn’t blame her for giving me the out, considering what she’d witnessed.

  Thursday was ‘sob’ day, featuring big, nose-stuffing episodes interrupted only by periods of rest when I’d replenish my reserves in order to continue on with a fresh torrent of tears when I woke. Just to up the misery ante, I watched every weepy dog movie I could possibly stand—death after doggie death.

  Sobbing was the rule of order in the Cassidy-Bening household and I was its crown princess.

  Not to be outdone, Friday was ‘fuck day’… and not in the super fun, tangled in the sheets kind of way. No, Friday was the day the f-word was used as a sentence enhancer. Verbs, adjectives, nouns, and yes, I think maybe even adverbs, although I wasn’t a hundred percent certain what they were. Since breaking it off with Bodhi, I was becoming quite the skilled linguist if you liked your communication on the offensive side.

  Scrutinizing myself in the mirror, I was comforted by my righteous hair, but the rest of me was going to require some extensive retooling. Red, puffy eyes, bloated cheeks, and the nastiest little smirk a day of f-bombs could produce. Brandon would not be impressed.

  Brandon.

  Why the hell did I even care what he thought? It wasn’t like I still had a thing for him. But my need to demonstrate to my ex that I was doing fantastic was strong. Was I trying to prove my worth to him or to myself? I wasn’t some spinster. Hell, I’d just reeled in a big-time hottie—a popstar with a rock star voice. Granted, it would have been more impressive had I actually gotten him into the boat. But that wasn’t how I rolled. Oh no, this girl threw her perfectly fantastic catch back in the flippin’ ocean.

  Wait, why in the hell did I do that again? What was my reasoning?

  Oh yeah, because I was dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb.

  “You look a little constipated, sweetie,” mom noted as she fluffed up my curls in the back.

  And I had to smile, because she knew just how to put the sweetest spin on average, everyday insults.

  “Thanks for noticing. I was thinking about Brandon.”

  “Oh, well that explains it then. That man should come with a warning label and a box of laxatives.”

  No disagreement here.

  “Okay, how’s this?” Meeting her gaze in the mirror, I pinned on a smile. “Do I still look like I’m straining to have a bowel movement?”

  “Well, I mean, now you just look like a sad clown going potty.”

  Laughing, I bumped her with my hip, knocking her off balance.

  “There she is.” Mom grabbed my cheeks and shook my face like I was a seven-year-old. “My happy, gorgeous girl.”

  “I’m getting there. Sorry about the past two days.”

  “Eh, no apologies needed. I actually learned quite a few new swear words, so thank you.”

  “Ha, you don’t fool me. You’re a lot savvier than I ever gave you credit for, Ms. Bowchickawowwow.”

  Mom performed a little curtsey before focusing her laser stare back on me. “You doing okay, for real?”

  I let out a long, frustrated groan. “I suppose.”

  “You made your choice, Breeze. And now it’s time to live with it.”

  The subtle reminder reinforced my feeling that Mom wasn’t on board with my decision.

  “I know. I guess I just wish I felt better about it. I can’t shake the feeling I’ve made a huge mistake.”

  Mom dropped her gaze and I swear I saw her shrug.

  “What was that?” I asked.

  “What?”

  “That little noddy-shrug. You think I made a mistake, don’t you?”

  “It doesn’t matter what I think. It’s your life, Breeze.”

  “It matters to me.”

  I stared her down until she finally caved. “Okay, fine. You know I’m a big believer in fate. What happened to the two of you, and then the instant connection it forged—things like that don’t happen by chance. Have you ever considered the two of you were meant to be?”

  My mouth dropped open. “And you didn’t tell me this before I shoved a boot up his ass and went on my merry way?”

  “It’s not fate if you have to be convinced of its otherworldly powers. Take a deep breath and breathe it in. If it’s meant to be, Breezie, you’ll find your way back to him. Have a little faith that things will go your way.”

  Mom slapped my butt. Pep talk over. “Now, get yourself ready and let’s go kick some ass for real. How does that sound?”

  “Strangely appealing. And now that you mention it, I am in the mood to beat someone silly.”

  * * *

  The plan was to elude Brandon and Jenna for as long as possible. During the car ride over, I went through all sorts of avoidance techniques, most involving large objects to hide me from view— plants, tables, Uncle Raymond.

  My little plan hit a snag the moment I walked through the door of the banquet hall and into my worst nightmare. Standing before me was Brandon and his happy family, all freshly scrubbed and eager to rub my nose in their perfectly sanitized world.

  Brandon was bigger and buffer than before, his freshly tatted arms bursting from a shirt two sizes too small for him. Where did he shop? Baby Gap? His black hair was slicked back and the beard-goatee number was surprisingly well-trimmed. When we’d been together, Brandon kept things on the scruffy side. Now he looked like any other tool whittling away his extra hours pumping iron in the gym.

  Jenna appeared radiant in a yellow wrap dress, shiny blond curls cascading down her back, and the most perfectly rounded baby belly. Of course, she had to be gorgeous. It was all part of the master plan to drive me into the ground. No doubt my cousin had received word of my presence at the event. Because it looked like she’d booked every beautifying procedure possible to make her dazzle.

  It worked.

  There was no competition. And who was I kidding? There never had been. She’d always been extra. Taller, thinner, with better skin, nicer clothes, and a mom who owned a microwave. Still, she’d always copied me. Whatever I could do, she could do better. It was an endless circle, even as children. We were the best of
friends and the worst of enemies. As of late, we were only enemies and that made me sad. I hoped he was worth it.

  A toddler with impossibly big brown eyes and bouncy, hairdresser-dream curls stole my attention away from her equally attractive parents. Her hand gently burrowed into Jenna’s as she tucked her head into her mother’s leg and peered up at me with curiosity.

  Suddenly there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room. In the world. Oh, the deception this little girl’s creation had caused. I felt it in my bones as if it were only yesterday. How naïve I’d been - trusting in a future that would never be mine.

  I wanted to run and hide—where was Uncle Raymond when you needed him —but my legs were riveted in place. It was then I noticed that all fifty-plus of my relatives were holding their breath, anticipating my reaction. Even the music from the live band had ceased.

  What the hell? Had this whole day been choreographed for my humiliation?

  Terrance’s hand molded to the small of my back, providing me quiet comfort and the assurance I wasn’t alone. My eyes collided with my mother’s and she lifted her chin, a small smile curving her lips. Although no words had passed between us, I nodded my understanding.

  How I responded would define me, and also go down in the annals of our family history. I could either kick up a shitstorm and ruin the day or take the higher road, swallow my wounded pride, and pretend seeing the two of them didn’t make me want to drop a bag of dog shit on their porch and set it on fire.

  The higher ground – I would take it – not for Jenna’s sake, and certainly not for Brandon’s, but for the sake of their little girl who was the innocent handiwork of two backstabbing cheats.

  “Brandon.” I nodded my uncomfortable greeting.

  “Breeze.” He nodded back.

  Continuing the pathetic pattern, I turned my attention to my cousin. “Jenna.”

  “Breeze.”

  We stood there shifting our feet, the awkwardness on par with seeing someone you know in a grocery store and then running into them again in the next aisle. And the next aisle. And the next.

  Perhaps not knowing what else to do, Jenna pulled her daughter in tighter, a fiercely protective gleam in her eye.

  What did she think I would do, grab the child and toss her out the window?

  What had happened to us? How could a loser like Brandon tear us apart so thoroughly that we couldn’t be in the same room together without referees?

  It hit me then that losing Brandon wasn’t what hurt most. I could replace a man. Hell, I could even upgrade to a luxury model like Bodhi-frickin’-Beckett. But in Jenna I hadn’t just lost my cousin, I’d lost my friend, my confidant, and my very own flesh and blood.

  In a perfect world, I would have wowed the crowd with a witty catchphrase or even a snappy dance number but, sadly, that wasn’t me. I was just Breeze, the girl who’d spent way too long beating herself up over a relationship that was never meant to be.

  I shifted my gaze back to Brandon. He wasn’t my fate.

  Bodhi’s my fate.

  What had I been thinking? Life with Bodhi’s fans might be hard but life without him all together would be excruciating. It took these two cheats to finally wake me up to what had been in front of me all along. Bodhi wasn’t just any guy. He was my guy. My destiny.

  Cementing on a smile, I turned to my cousin. “You look like you have it all figured out. I’m happy for you. Congratulations on the new baby.”

  And then I walked away, determined never to allow those two to drag me down again.

  * * *

  Interestingly enough, it wasn’t the awkward interaction with Brandon and Jenna that nabbed the top spot on reunion gossip. Our old drama was but a spark in a firestorm compared to my news-making brush with fame. Word of my connection with Bodhi had not only spread through social media but also through the ranks of my increasingly internet-savvy family. Even the relatives with ‘great’ before their names seemed to be dialed in.

  Suddenly, I wasn’t the girl with egg on her face, but the dazzling star of the party. Instead of dwelling on the past, my relatives welcomed me back with open arms, inspired and encouraged by my tale of survival. I realized that it had been me who’d cast myself out of the inner circle. My shame at being cheated on had kept me from moving forward.

  No more.

  * * *

  After telling and retelling my story a dozen times, I managed to slip away from my table full of admirers. My stomach had started to let out the most unladylike growls, so I headed straight for the buffet line.

  I’d barely managed to scoop a helping of potato salad onto my plate when I heard a frustrated little sigh. And when I turned, I found Brandon and Jenna’s little girl, levered up on her tiptoes, reaching for a brownie on an elevated tray.

  “Do you need help?” I asked, smiling down at her cherubic face.

  She blinked, and then slowly lifted her toy for me to see.

  I bent down to her level examining the tiny stuffed Chihuahua in her chubby hand. “Look at that.” Envisioning Bodhi in my kitchen fending off Sweetpea with a pink spatula, I smiled. “I know someone who loves these little guys.”

  “Oh yeah, who?” My smile melted, and I slanted my gaze upward—to Brandon, eyeing me with a wicked grin. He crossed his arms over his chest when I straightened, then tipped forward into my space. “Because you know I only like my dogs big—like me.”

  I snorted a laugh. “In your dreams.”

  “You never had any complaints before.” His eyes danced with mischief.

  Was he… flirting with me?

  Taking a giant step back, I scanned the room for Jenna, but she was nowhere to be found. Not good.

  Don’t engage. Do Not Engage.

  “Only because I didn’t know any better.”

  Dammit! Why did you engage?

  Brandon chuckled wryly, then caught one of my curls, twirling the strand around his finger. “You’re looking fine, Breeze. There’s something different about you. I can’t quite figure out what.”

  Before I could disentangle myself, Jenna appeared. The look on her face left little doubt: she’d heard everything.

  Turning her white-hot gaze on Brandon, she spat, “What. Are. You. Doing?”

  Before my eyes, my ex transformed into the guy I knew and didn’t love. “I’m having a conversation. I didn’t realize I had to clear everything with you first.”

  Keeping her voice low, Jenna replied, “Normally you don’t, but when it’s with your ex, at a family reunion, then yes – clearing it with me is a mandatory requirement.”

  I glanced around for an escape. Any way to extract myself from their conversation. But I was penned in, my butt against the buffet table and them in front of me.

  Still, I attempted to slide past my cousin. “Excuse me, I—"

  “And after everything she’s done to you?” Jenna growled, her eyes flicking to mine.

  What the hell?

  I felt the smile curve my lips. Yeah, I was in it now. “Um, really? You want to remind me again what I did?”

  She had the nerve to look at me like she was the aggrieved party. “You made him feel like a monster, Breeze. For following his heart. And you gave his clothes away to the Goodwill.”

  “Hey, that last part was for charity.” I chuckled at my own joke. Or maybe it was the absurdity of the conversation.

  “See, this is the problem,” Jenna whined. “You’re so spiteful. Brandon’s not yours anymore. Get over it!”

  I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing in her face. “Trust me, I’m over it. A certain popstar saw to that.”

  Scoffing, she slapped a hand on her non-existent hip for emphasis. “Oh please.”

  But Brandon hadn’t taken the news with as much abject disbelief. Titling his head, he surveyed me with narrowed eyes.

  “You…” He laughed, not sounding the least bit amused. “You are boning Bodhi Beckett?”

  Jealousy dripped from his tone, landing at our feet with a thud. I expecte
d some perverse satisfaction to follow. But it didn’t. I felt…nothing.

  “Well, not at this very moment, no,” I quipped.

  He poked his tongue in his cheek, and looked around like he couldn’t believe it. But why the hell did he care? His penis had been making house calls to my extended family.

  Jenna appeared equally perplexed, turning her attention squarely on her husband. “What does it matter who she’s sleeping with?”

  “It doesn’t, I was just asking a question,” he said, his voice rising with every word. “You got a problem with that?”

  “You know I’ve got a problem with that.”

  Clearly things weren’t as perfect in their relationship as they’d made them out to seem. Suddenly, I wondered why I’d wasted so much energy on this man. He wasn’t a catch. He wasn’t even a dropped ball. Brandon was a cheat and a liar and if he’d done it to me, chances were Jenna would be next in line.

  Itching to escape this unconventional lover’s spat, I considered crawling under the table to get away.

  “Look, I’m going to leave you guys to it. I’ve got to… um… eat.”

  Brandon’s attention shifted my way. “You don’t have to go just because Jenna’s being a bitch. I can have a conversation with whoever I want.”

  Great. Now I was a pawn. Because there’s no way those words were meant for me.

  “No offense, Brandon, but you’re the last person I’d ever want to talk to again.”

  He blinked, a vein popping out on his thick neck. Anger. Dejection. Disbelief. It was all there. Had Brandon been feeding off my perceived misery?

  And then he smiled.

  “Come on, Breeze.” He grabbed ahold of my forearm. “You’re not over me, and we both know it.”

  I was about to reply when a voice came from somewhere behind me.