by Gill, Tamara
There was little chance of preserving that. Not after last night. The memory of her time with Theo made her shiver with renewed awareness.
Elena watched as Holly and Alessa, along with their husbands, strode into the foyer, leaving her with Theo.
She walked up to the desk, holding it for support. "I'm sorry, Theo. I wanted to tell you sooner, but then I could never find the words. I wanted..." She could not form the words to tell him the truth, and he studied her, knowing she wanted to say more.
"Wanted what, Elena? What did you want?" he demanded, his voice hard.
She sighed, supposing there ought to be no more falsehoods. Not anymore. "I needed to hear that you loved me before you knew who I really was. Home in Atharia and here in England, people only ever say what they think I want to hear. They are only friends with me so they can say they have a princess as an ally. Husband hunting has been difficult as Princess Elena. But as Miss Smith, well, it has been a refreshing change. Nor,” she continued, "did I set out for your estate expecting to meet you and share what we have, for I did not. But now that is what I want. I want a husband who loves me for me, and I will not settle until I gain that dream."
He slumped into the chair behind him as if his legs would no longer hold the burden of her words she thrust upon his shoulders. "You're a princess," he stated, his voice devoid of emotion. "No matter what you hope for, that changes everything."
She frowned, sitting down herself. "What I said to you was the truth, Theo. I had to leave London. For my own sanity, I could not stay there a day longer. My good friend Lady Villiers agreed to help me. She is also attending the house party at Kew Palace, and I charged her to send letters to my sisters to make them think I was there."
"And yet you were not. You were here. Under my roof and caring for my mother. She will be so disappointed to find out that you lied to her."
Elena froze, and the concern on her face must have registered with deadly grace. Theo leaned forward, pinning her with his dark gaze. "She knows, doesn't she?" He swore and stood, pacing behind his desk. "My mother knows you're Princess Elena of Atharia?" he scoffed, shaking his head. Elena wanted to go to him, but she knew the truth would be difficult for him, but she had wanted to know that his feelings for her were true, not born out of necessity for her wealth.
"She does. The first day I arrived, she recognized me as my mother's daughter. We are alike in appearance, you see. I made your mother swear not to say a word. I was desperate to stay and did not want to go to Kew Palace and pretend to be happy there."
"So you pretended to be a servant here?"
Shame washed through her that she had lied, but there was no taking back her actions. "You were not meant to stay. I did not think it would trouble you, even if you later found out because you would be happily married and returned with your new bride. I would be back in London and no harm done to anyone."
"But harm was done, was it not, Your Highness?"
"Please do not call me that, Theo. I'm Elena to you."
He shook his head, denying her words. "No, you are not. Nor were you ever."
Chapter 19
Theo could not believe what he was hearing. How had she pretended to be someone she was not? How had she allowed him to care for a woman who did not exist?
What was he to do now? To marry her now would make him look the biggest fiend in London. But to not? To lose the woman he loved was also unbearable to contemplate.
She lied to you. She's royalty.
"I am Elena to you, just as you are Theo to me. That does not need to change. Nothing else needs to factor into our life."
"Of course it changes everything, for I have not done the one thing you want," he spat, running a hand through his hair. "Do you not see? You're royal. Cousin to King George. The very man who has done nothing but make my life hell." He shook his head. "I did not declare myself to you when you were Miss Smith. To do so now is not going to win me your trust. You will think, just as your sisters will, that I'm a fortune hunter. And I am. By my own words, I needed a rich wife. That has not changed."
Elena paled, and he reigned in his ire. Damn it all to hell. How had Elena turned out to be the very being who encompassed all that he'd set out to loathe his entire life? Royalty? He could not believe it, nor did he want to.
Fate could be fickle. He knew that well enough, but cruel too? That was a new development, at least for him. Even so, he wanted to go to her. Wrap her in his arms and promise he loved her before he knew of her life. But would she believe him? He did not think so. There would always be a snippet of concern that he had married her for her money.
"His Majesty is a very distant cousin, and we are not cut from the same cloth, Theo. It is wrong of you to think of me in the same way. I'm not English, and my character is very different. I would never have cheated your father."
"You did not tell me the truth," he stated. He knew why she had not said a word. Hell, in truth, he would not have said a word either had he been in her situation.
"The more we grew to know each other, the more I understood the reasons why you shunned royalty. I feared your reaction to the truth of my life, and as time went on, it became harder and harder to declare myself. Not to mention I was desperate for a man to fall in love with me. Me," she pointed at her chest, hammering home her point, "plain and common Elena. Not the diamond-encrusted princess I usually am."
"A blind excuse," he spat at her, leaning on his desk and forcing himself to breathe. "You do not trust my character enough to believe what I say. If I were to tell you that I loved you now, would you believe those words? I do not think you would. That is the truth of our situation, is it not?"
For a moment, she did not say a word before she lifted her regal chin, commanding respect. "Was I wrong in waiting to see how you felt about me? Even after last night," she stated, lowering her voice, "you did not declare your love for me or ask for my hand even after all that we did. How can I not think but a little if you did so now it is because of my fortune?"
"And that is the crux of your problem."
"Not completely," she continued. "You will be marrying into royalty should I accept your hand of marriage. Had you offered it, of course. An institution you despise. Marrying you, I fear that in time your disdain for English royalty would spill over toward the Atharia lineage. After what King George did to your family, I would not blame you if it did, but it would break my heart to be the cause of your pain."
Dread loaded in his gut, hearing all the reasons why they should and could not be together. If only he had not told Elena he needed to marry well to save his estate, her declaration of truth would not factor. But his pride, his love for the woman before him, stopped him from asking now. He could not form the words, no matter how much he wanted her for herself and bedamn the inheritance.
But none of that mattered now, for she would never believe him should he ask. He could see it in her face, the hurt, the fear that she would only be married for what she would bring to the union, not because of who she was as a woman.
The image of his father hanging from the rafters in the attic floated through his mind. He could not marry royalty. The very thought of doing so made him want to cast up his accounts. His father had been there for several days, and Theo had found him, the sight he could not remove from his mind, no matter how much he wished to.
King George had done that. Royalty and their selfish, commanding habits had killed his father. A future together would never work.
"I do not know what I believe right now. There is much to think about, and it is unlikely my sisters will allow me to stay and muddle through it all with you," she said, tears welling in her dark orbs. His heart broke at the sight of it.
"For what it is worth, Theo, I am sorry. I never meant to cause trouble or hurt anyone with my plan. I simply wanted to disappear."
He could understand her wanting to do such a thing. Hell, being a royal, British or otherwise, would not be easy. But he could not stomach her lies or what they ma
de him if he married her now. Not with her at least. He could not marry a woman he loved, who did not trust him. His marriage to an heiress would be a marriage of convenience, a mutual trade. He could offer Elena nothing, for she had everything already.
"You will return to London with your sisters?" he asked her as the silence between them stretched.
"Today, I should imagine. There is much to think about." She picked at one of her fingernails as she held her hands in her lap. "Will you tell me why you dislike King George so very much? It cannot be solely because of the land you lost to His Majesty."
Theo saw no reason not to tell her. To explain, as much as he hated reliving everything about that time. "My father hanged himself in this very house. A year after he was cheated out of the land in a card game with King George. When the lands were gone and the next harvest season was complete, the full effect of our loss came to fruition. My father could not live with the shame and took his life. King George, selfish, greedy royal bastard, killed my father and did not even send condolences. I have little time for anyone of his ilk."
"And that now includes me?" she asked him, her eyes shining with unshed tears. He pushed down the urge to go to her, to say he did not see her as the same, but what did it matter now? She saw him as nothing but a fortune hunter, his declaration of love too late to make any difference to their life.
"You should leave, Elena," he said, sitting at his desk and pulling his ledgers close, needing to go over the numbers before he left for London. However, this time he would go, carriage wheel broken, sick mother, or lame horse or not. He would leave.
"Well," she said to him, her tone chill. "I wish you all the best with your trip."
"I wish you well too, in finding a man who loves you for you and not your title," he called after her when she started for the door, back rigid and head held high.
Theo watched her leave, hating that she did not look back. He could see her sisters in the foyer and his mother too. Elena hugged his mother and kissed her cheek before being escorted out the door and into the waiting carriage.
He saw the gold royal emblem of Atharia on the door as it moved past his window and then down the drive. Lord Balhannah and Sir Oakley cantering after the carriage on their mounts.
His mother barged into his office without knocking, coming up to his desk and standing over him.
He did not bother to look up. His anger not wholly directed at Elena but his mother too. At King George. Every bastard who courted Elena for false reasons and made her disbelieve everyone's words. Including his. "You can leave, thank you. I have work to do."
"No, you do not. The only work you need to do is to get those carriage horses hitched and go after that young woman. You care for her, do you not? How can you watch her leave without any remorse?"
Oh, he had remorse, but he also had pride, and he would not have his affections toward her be tarnished or determined to be brought out of his need for blunt. To chase her down now and throw himself at her silk slippers would prove to her he had only wanted her for her money and nothing more.
To her, at least.
There was little he could do now to prove that was not the case.
"You knew she was a princess and played her game against your own son. How could you do that to me? How could you not tell me the truth?"
His mother surprisingly looked bashful, and so she should after what she had done. "She begged me, Theo. And her mama was a good friend. I could not throw her out when she was so desperate to stay."
He watched his mother, thinking over the past weeks. "You planned everything, did you not? The broken wheel the day after she arrived. The horse's lameness, your illness." All of it was making sense now. "Did you think to make me fall in love with a companion, knowing our predicament while knowing all along that I could not? That to marry Miss Smith would mean we would lose everything. But you did not know her as Miss Smith, did you, Mama? You knew her as a wealthy princess. The savior to all our troubles. How could you plot such a thing?"
His mother held up her hand, gesturing to the library about them. "What is the meaning of all of this if there is no love, Theo? I lived a marriage without affection, and it was like hell on earth. I would not wish such a future on anyone, and certainly not my son. I saw the opportunity for you to marry a woman whom you love, despite not knowing who she really was. And she loves you because you love her for herself and not her title."
He shook his head, dismissing the notion. He would not allow his mother to make sense of this situation or explain her actions away. "You know what royalty has done to this family. How could you allow me to court a woman who is a princess?"
"Please," his mother spat, walking to the windows and looking out over the grounds. "Your father knew what he was doing in that card game, Theo, and anyone who believes otherwise is a fool."
He stood, eating up the distance between them. "You allowed me to believe King George cheated my father. Are you saying that is untrue?"
"I did not think it would ever matter that you knew the truth, but your father was a compulsive gambler. He would have wagered you had he had the chance. You are fortunate that it was only the parcel of land of this estate that he lost. We could have been living in my townhouse in London for years had he wagered the entire estate."
Theo felt the room spin. This could not be true. Their monarch had tricked his father. He had died because of the treatment from The Crown. They had pushed his father to leave them all behind. Their greed had driven his family to the brink of financial ruin.
"What King George did that night with your father was agreed upon by both men, and your father was happy to wager part of the estate, so long as he had his cards in hand. What your father and King George partook in has nothing to do with Elena. It does not matter if she is royalty or lied. She does not deserve to be thrust to the curb because you cannot look past your own pride or what you believed to be the truth."
Theo ran a hand over his jaw, needing time to process all of this. "I shall be leaving for London tomorrow."
His mother clapped, smiling. "Wonderful. I do hope Elena accepts your proposal."
He strode to the door, wrenching it open. "Not to propose to Elena but to find a rich wife to save this crumbling pile of bricks. There is nothing to say between the princess and me. She wants a marriage of love and affection, and no matter whether I feel that way for her or not, she would not believe me now. I did not tell her how I felt before knowing who she was, and so all your plotting and planning has failed, Mother."
His mother was quiet a moment before she said, "You're a fine gentleman, loving and true. I'm certain that you will come up with something to change her mind. Do not return home unless you have her in hand. I will never forgive you if you bugger this up, Theo."
He strode from the room, needing to be alone. There was nothing he could do. For he may be a fine, loving, and true man, but Elena was wary and suspicious of people's motives. She was lost to him, but he could still save his estate, and that had to be his focus now. And Miss Smith, Princess Elena or whomever she called herself, would have to be a pleasant memory of his past so that he could capture his future.
The future of his estate and all those who relied upon him deserved no less. His heart be damned.
Chapter 20
"What were you thinking running off to Somerset as you did? What possessed you to act so rashly? If there is a problem, Elena, you must come to me so I may help you," Holly said, her voice stern, but Elena could see in her eyes she was genuinely worried about what she had done and did not want it happening again.
"I could not stay, and that's the truth of it. I dislike society, the balls, and parties. Do you not think it is all so false and calculating? Every night reminded me of our plotting, vengeful uncle, and I had to get away. And so when the opportunity arose, I took it."
"Your friend Lady Villiers was displeased to have to tell us the truth, but when we arrived at Kew Palace to see you, and you were not there, we knew she would
be aware of your whereabouts," Alessa said, watching her husband on his horse beside the carriage. "And we were not wrong but terribly worried until we saw you again."
"I hope you were not unkind to Margaret. She did not want to do what I asked her to perform, and none of this was her idea. I merely dragged her into my plan," Elena admitted, hoping her sister did not think badly of Margaret, for she did not have an unkind bone in her body.
"We were not unkind, but Margaret did as we bade when I reminded her that should anything untoward happen to my sister the princess, I would blame her, no matter whose idea to hide at Lord Lyon's estate it was."
Alessa turned to face her. "Talking of untoward happenings, you seemed quite attached to Lord Lyon. Has anything happened between the two of you that Holly and I need to know?"
Elena swallowed, her stomach fluttering at the thought of Theo. Could it have been only hours ago she had lain in his arms in exquisite bliss? She closed her eyes and took a fortifying breath. She had never been able to keep secrets from her sisters, not ones as important as her connection with Theo, and she could not start now.
"I'm in love with Lord Lyon, and I did believe him to be in love with me," she answered truthfully, wishing that things had turned out differently between her and Theo.
"Had he stated as much?" Holly asked, whatever reaction she was having to Elena's words schooled behind a queen's composed visage.
"He never said the words, no, and I was hoping that he would before he knew who I was, but then you two arrived and stole that possibility from him, and me for that matter."
Alessa gasped, clutching at her throat. "Excuse me, but we did not know you had been fluttering your eyelashes at his lordship. And he should have stated he loved you if, in fact, he did. All we can hope is that your reputation will not be affected, and you can return to society without any harm done."
