Jess snorted and held his ground, but his gaze moved from Brodie’s face to Allison’s. A half-smile curled his mouth. “Not today, Allison. I apologize for the intrusion. I stopped to give you the final invoice and see if you wanted to do a walk-about on the yard, but I can see you’re…otherwise occupied.”
He pulled an envelope out of his back pocket and handed it to her. Ignoring Brodie, he took hold of her arm and pulled her a short distance away.
“Are we still on for Saturday?” he asked sotto voce.
Brodie butted right in. “Actually, Harper, Allison has a previous engagement on Saturday.”
Ally stared in amazement. Brodie was incorrigible. They had no plans. There’d been no discussion about getting together with friends. What was he thinking of? He was deliberately lying. Baiting Jess, and trying to cause trouble.
Jess stepped up and stood in a nose-to-nose face-off with Brodie. “She didn’t mention it to me when we made our plans.”
Brodie lifted his chin in challenge. “Yeah, well, she must have forgotten. We promised to get together with some friends…remember, Ally? We talked about it last week?”
Narrowing her eyes in exasperation at him, she took Jess by the arm and steered him down the steps and out toward the driveway.
“Jess, I’m so sorry about this. Brodie was waiting for me when I came home from work. I had no idea you would be coming over…I don’t know what to say.”
“So, he was telling the truth about Saturday?”
She pursed her lips. She wouldn’t lie to Jess, but she didn’t want to throw Brodie under the bus, either.
Jess stopped at the side of his truck and looked her straight in the eyes. “What’s going on, Allison? Are you and the neighbor seeing each other now? You told me you were just friends, that he was a friend of your brother, someone from your past. But now I come to see you and find you in his arms and his tongue down your throat? Looks like more than friendship to me. You know how I feel about you. I’ve made that plain. I thought we had a good thing going on, that you felt the same, and now this? Now him?”
“You’re right,” she answered quietly. “Brodie was my brother’s friend, my friend, and we do have history together. But…”
“That was more than a history lesson. Ah, shit! Look at me. Allison…You’re falling for the guy, aren’t you? All this time, you’ve been telling yourself it was only friendship when it was really something more.” Jess shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair. “Well, I’m not giving up…not on you and not on us. I like you, Allison—more than like you. So before you ruin what’s happening between us, think about this.”
He pulled her into his arms, drawing her into the heat of his body. One long look, deep into the heart of her, and his mouth claimed hers. He held nothing back, and his kiss was that of a man who knew he had nothing to lose. He, too, was staking his claim.
Allison allowed him this chance. He deserved that much. She felt herself responding a little in spite of her awareness of Brodie watching them from the porch. It made her uncomfortable, but Jess… It was so confusing. Why did she feel so torn?
Brodie had always been all she wanted…always. But now, being held in Jess’s arms, being kissed like there was no tomorrow, liking his sweet, uncomplicated devotion, even if there was no zing… She wondered if holding on to the dream of herself and Brodie would be enough to sustain her until he either admitted his love for her or released her to love another.
Jess’s jaw clenched as he broke the kiss, climbed into his truck, and scattered gravel as he slammed it into reverse and peeled out of the driveway. She watched as he sped up the street and out of sight.
When she turned back to Brodie, he was wrapped around the pillar from which he’d watched as Jess kissed her and left. In spite of the confrontation, Brodie didn’t seem mad. Pouring a glass of wine, he silently handed it to her as she returned to the porch. After they each had a sip, he took their glasses and set them on the table. He rested his hands on her shoulders, his penetrating gaze delving deeply into hers.
“I don’t blame him. It couldn’t have been easy, coming here and finding us like that. But now he knows…and now you know what my intentions are. I shouldn’t have lied to Harper. And I shouldn’t have broken your date with him. I don’t have that right. But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that life is short, and it’s fragile. When you find a good thing, the thing that matters most, you have to grab it, because there is no guarantee of tomorrow. Not for anyone. You know that as well as I. That man’s in love with you, and he’s playing for keeps. So you, sweet Ally, have some thinking to do, and some choices to make.”
Her response was lost as he crushed his mouth upon hers. His kiss was far from sweet. Intended to wash the memory of Jess’s kiss from her mind, it was lust—pure, unadulterated, male, hungry lust. And filled with a promise of things to come. It took her breath away. Never had she been kissed like this, never had she responded to a kiss like this. Thoughts of Jess wiped from her mind, Brodie was all that remained.
He angled his head as his lips slid across the moist seam of her mouth. His tongue gained entry—warm and seeking and demanding. She shifted closer and swallowed a moan as Brodie put his lips by her ear. “Let’s take this inside. We don’t want to shock the neighbors any more than we already have.”
“Oomph,” she cried as her butt hit the door and they stumbled into the foyer. Brodie kicked the door closed and danced her to the edge of the couch. She shivered as he whispered kisses along her neck to the sensitive crook of her shoulder. “Brodie,” she breathed as he nibbled the creamy skin of her collarbone, and his hands yanked her closer.
He was hot and hard, and she could feel the pulsing rod of his arousal against her soft belly. A steel band of muscle supported her back while his hand cupped her butt, holding her tight, then tighter still, against him. A whimper escaped her lips, and she cooed his name as his hand squeezed and made its way from her ass and up her ribcage to the side of her breast. She shivered. She could feel his heat radiating all around her and smell the fresh citrus of his aftershave. An aphrodisiac…it made her heart pound and her skin tingle. So hot!
Brodie reverently palmed the heavy weight of her breast, his thumb grazing her hard, pebbled nipple. “You are one beautiful, sexy lady. You don’t know how long I’ve waited for this. Waited to touch you. I sit on my stoop and listen to you playing your music and think about all the things I want to do to you, how I want to bury myself deep inside you.”
He wanted to make love to her? Was this really happening?
“Brodie, are you sure this is what you want? That I’m what you want?”
“You think I’d be kissing you like this, touching you this way, if I had any doubts? We’ve been dancing around each other for years, so don’t tell me you don’t want me as much as I want you. Don’t tell me you want to stop this before we’ve even started, because I won’t believe you.”
She didn’t say anything.
Her body stilled, her throat closed, her heart stuttered in her chest. She had it all at her fingertips and she just stood there, unable to move as she watched the passion recede from his eyes. How could she let everything slip through her fingers? Sands falling through an hourglass, one grain at a time.
His hands stopped moving on her body, and she was suddenly cold. Everything she ever dreamed of was right here in the palm of her hand, and she was losing it. Why? What was she afraid of? Brodie? Herself? Of making the wrong decision for both of them?
She’d loved him all her life, and now that he was finally coming to his senses, she was hesitating. She had to be crazy.
“Brodie,” she started to say, but he interrupted.
“It’s Harper, isn’t it?” He dropped his hands and frowned. “I’m an idiot. All this time I thought you were the one who wanted me, when all along it was me who wanted you, and I waited too long. Now that I finally see what’s been in front of me all this time, it’s too late. My timing sucks, huh?�
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“Brodie…”
He didn’t give her a chance to utter another word, just turned on his heel and left her standing in the middle of her living room. Her door slammed behind him as he left.
He was gone.
What had she done? God in heaven, what had she done?
“Brodie,” she whispered in a broken voice, and leaned against her living room wall and slid to the floor in a puddle of confusion and regret. She wanted to run after him, to call him back and explain, to tell him she loved him, but they should take things a little slower. God! One day he was running away from her like a scalded dog, the next he was standing on her porch ready to start a relationship and take things to a whole new level. She hadn’t been able to downshift that fast.
And he was right. There was Jess. Wasn’t there an old song about this? Something about being torn between two lovers? She knew she loved Brodie. It was possible to love two men at the same time, but no way could she be in love with both of them.
This was crazy. She was crazy. There was only one thing to do. Take a step back. Refocus on the main direction for her life. Concentrate on her job—leading therapy sessions and developing improved techniques for putting broken lives back together again. She was where she was supposed to be and committed to her calling. Her love life had become a distraction. It was time to get back to business.
As her grandmother used to say, what will be, will be. If she and Brodie were meant to be together, they would be. If Jess was the one she should be with, she would know it in time. Until then, romance and the relationships in her life would have to work themselves out. She was putting this insanity aside and concentrating on her work.
Brodie was right, their timing sucked. And in life, as in love, timing was everything.
Chapter Ten
Allegro di Molto Con Brio
Brodie knew he should give Allison space. It was damn hard to do. He’d come on too hard, too fast, and scared her. One minute he was avoiding her and then he’d practically ravished her. Not her fault.
She was as friendly as ever. She waved each morning as she left for work and gazed toward his house when she returned home at the end of the day. But there were no more morning jogs or coffee conversations. No more friendly visits and laughing about old times. And there sure as hell weren’t any close encounters or kissing.
As far as he could tell, Harper hadn’t come over since the evening of their little confrontation. He didn’t think it would be possible to sit at home while she entertained the other man. No, there would definitely be some major bloodshed on the block if he saw her in the arms of the landscaper.
She was busy, always on the go, totally immersed in her job. And he was at loose ends.
Enough. Time to put a plan into effect. If he were to stand a chance with her, he had to get his shit in order.
The first thing he did was contact Mary Leo. She agreed to see him as soon as he could get there. He planned to let her know he’d decided to join her therapy group. He still had issues to deal with. If he had any hope of winning Allison, he had to get himself together.
Not that she would withhold her love because of the PTSD, but she deserved to be loved by a man with the freedom and ability to concentrate on her…her desires, her goals and ambitions. A supporter as well as a lover, a true partner in life…a whole man. She’d had that model growing up, with her father and grandfather; she’d expect the same sort of life with the man she…what?
Dated? Moved in with? Married? Just what did he want to offer her? The thought scared the shit out of him, but he loved her, didn’t he? He was in it for the long haul? Ally wasn’t a fling, and he didn’t want an affair.
Harper wanted her. No doubt he’d offer marriage. If Brodie was going to level the playing field, he’d want to do the same. The thought of a home with Allison—sons and daughters, the warmth of a family…someone to come home to, to share the ups and downs of life with, to welcome him home, to build a life—he wanted it all with her, only with her.
He grabbed his keys and headed down the mountain.
****
A couple of weeks later, just as he entered the VA one Monday morning, the elevator doors opened and Allison bumped into him, and the air whooshed out of his chest. It was entirely déjà vu, and as he grabbed her arms to steady her, he laughed. “At the risk of sounding cliché, we’ve got to stop meeting like this.”
To his surprise, she giggled. “Hey, stranger. How’ve you been?”
“Missing you,” he answered honestly. “You?”
“Same. I miss you, too, Brodie,” she replied softly.
“You’ve been busy. Scuttlebutt says you and Dr. Leo are working on some top secret project.”
“Not entirely top secret, but early in the planning stages. Something I’ve been thinking about since I came back to Alabama. What are you doing here?”
“Thought you might have heard. I’ve joined Dr. Leo’s therapy group. I must admit, I’ve grown fond of the piano, but the viola has its merits.”
Her smile was genuine and warm. “That’s wonderful, Brodie. Between her sessions and my nightly lullabies, we’ll have you well in no time.”
He hadn’t intended to tell her about meeting with Dr. Leo. For some reason, he wanted to work through things without the distraction of her professional observations or interference. When he came to her he’d have it all together. She’d lost her parents and Brett, and then her grandmother, who had been the glue that kept her family together. He intended to step into that place in her life, and he wanted her to know she could depend on him always. She was all alone now. She needed him. They needed each other.
“Have you seen Harper lately?” he asked, after an awkward pause.
Her hesitation was his answer. Bile burned his throat, but he was careful not to react. If Harper was in the picture, he had nothing to lose by asking her to dinner. He wouldn’t let the landscaper gain the upper hand while he stayed in the background and twiddled his thumbs.
“Tell you what, how about I drop by this weekend. That’s if you don’t have plans. I’d invite you over to my place, but I’m not set up for company. Friday is a long day for you, and we could relax on your deck, drink a glass of wine, unwind together. Don’t worry—no pressure, no strings, no expectations. Just the two of us…like old times.”
“I’d like that, Brodie. It sounds wonderful. Right now I’m just running out for a coffee, and then back to work. Are you headed upstairs?”
“Yeah. Headed up now,” he said, holding her gaze a little longer than necessary. “So…I’ll see you Friday? Steaks on me.”
He leaned over and kissed her cheek. The light perfume she wore filled his nostrils and sent heat straight to his groin. He heard her breath catch, and smiled at her whispered goodbye. She was far from immune to him. Good. It gave him hope.
He rode the elevator to the eighth floor and made his way to Mary Leo’s office.
“Brodie, come in. I’m always glad to see you.” Mary Leo greeted him with her usual warm smile and twinkling eyes. “Allison’s mini concerts must have convinced you we know what we’re doing around here. You’re looking good. How are you sleeping? Nightmares any better?” she asked as she ushered him to a chair.
“I am better, Dr. Leo. And I’d be lying if I said the music Ally plays in the evenings hasn’t improved my sleep patterns. Your sessions are helping, too.”
Mary Leo raised her brows. “Wonderful! Everyone reaches the point when they’re ready to return to their former lives. Not necessarily their previous employment—or in your case, the military—but recovery does move through progressive stages, and each person is different. It’s possible you’ve reached that point. Where do you stand? Have you thought about returning to the military or trying to find your niche in the civilian world? That would be the next logical step.”
“That’s why I came by this morning. I’ve been considering that very thing. I guess my question is, do you think I’m ready?”
“
Yes, I do. More than ready. Have you talked to Allison? How are things going between you two?”
“I’ll be honest here, Dr. Leo. Allison and I have been doing a sort of two-step. We see each other as friends and neighbors. I like her…I care for her. Lately I’ve been thinking I’d like to pursue a relationship with her, but something always gets in the way. And then, there’s someone else she’s interested in. So, to answer your question…no. We haven’t talked about my situation at all, not in any detail.”
“I’m aware you have a history together. You know about her brother?” she asked as she came to sit beside him.
“Yeah, she told me about Brett. Damn shame. He was the best. I know how he died, and that she blames herself for not being there for him. But I think she’s made peace with it, and I know he’d be glad she’s found a way to build something positive from his death. He’d want the same for me. But, I have to tell you, it’s rough. Damn rough.”
“Everything about this war and the suffering it’s caused is rough. How did you feel when Allison talked with you about her brother?”
“It threw me. I grieved; I’m still grieving. But seeing how Allison’s handled it makes it easier for me. People think soldiers are tough. But it’s the ones who pick up the pieces and put us together again that have the most courage. People like you and her.”
“That’s the way it’s supposed to work. ‘Two are better than one; if one falls down, the other lifts his brother up.’ You and Allison loved her brother, shared his life, and those kinds of experiences act as a glue that forms a deep bond. She has to appreciate that you, apart from any other man, understand how she feels about Brett and what his life and death meant. Has it drawn you closer?”
“I think it has,” he replied. “We’re having dinner together Friday. I think it’ll be a test. Our timing hasn’t been the best, so what happens this weekend could make us or break us. I don’t see us playing this game much longer. We need to decide what we are to each other and either move forward or cut each other loose.” His gut tightened with heaviness at the thought of walking away from her.
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