“Until you or she tells me to stop. What about playing some music? My iPod’s in the truck with a playlist of some of her work that I use for myself. I can bring that in, if it’ll help.”
“It will help, but I don’t want her to hear the piano just now. It might trigger something about the event and make her worse. Do you have any of my viola music from our sessions that we can use?”
“I do. I’ll get it. Will you go with me back to her room?”
“Scared, Brodie?” she asked with a gentle smile.
“Damn straight. I’d rather fight a hundred Taliban than face a chance of losing her. I’m scared as hell she won’t pull out of this anytime soon, and worried about what will happen when she does. She has an awful lot on her plate. Jess Harper has agreed to oversee the completion of Brett’s House. She won’t have to worry about that. But what about the fundraiser? It’s only six weeks away.”
“I’ll take over her duties at the VA and the university. We’ll cancel her master class until next semester. I have a few ideas about the fundraiser, so let me think about it. I’ll get back to you on that. She has pitched in wherever and whenever she’s been needed. It’s time we repaid the favor. Don’t worry, it will all work out. I know these things.” She grinned and patted his arm.
“Your gypsy grandmother again?” He smiled.
Mary Leo shrugged. “She was a very talented gypsy, and hardly ever wrong. Go get our girl some pretty music, and let’s get her all better.”
****
Brodie held Ally’s hand all night. He repeated over and over how much he loved her, and he played Mary’s beautiful viola music and hummed along in his gruff, off-key bass, just to let her know he was there, so she could hear the timbre of his voice. Whenever he shifted or moved his hand, she squeezed. Any reaction at all gave him hope. Allison was strong—a fighter. She was in there, trapped in her own private hell, fighting to get out, but she was also a survivor. She just needed some time.
He explained about Brett’s House, about Jess taking over for her. Assured her everything was going to be all right, kissed her cold fingers, shared his dreams about the possibilities of life. Brodie cautiously climbed into the bed with her and gathered her close. He ran his fingers gently up and down her arm, reassuring her, loving her. Finally, he fell asleep with his head sharing her pillow.
About four in the morning he woke. Sometime during the long night, she’d turned to him and buried her hands in his hair. Her touch soothed him, and he drifted back to sleep.
The next morning, he woke to find her eyes gazing at him.
“Hey.” Her voice soft and hoarse.
He was relieved to see her awake and aware. His heart filled with joy. They weren’t out of the woods yet, but she was back. It was a beginning.
“Hey, yourself. How do you feel?” he asked, taking her hand, kissing her fingers. She felt warm to his touch. He smiled. Her pretty green eyes were clear but her expression sad. Haunted. Wounded. His stomach pitched at all the pain he saw lingering there.
“You stayed with me all night? You must be exhausted.”
“There was no way I was leaving you. Mary Leo was here. She’s going to check on you later.”
“Do you think they’ll let me go home…” She choked.
He moved up on the bed beside her and bracketed her head with his arms. “You’ll probably have to stay one more night. We want to make sure you’re okay. Then I’m taking you home with me. Your house is still a crime scene. You won’t be able to go back for a few more days.”
He didn’t imagine her relief. It was real. She wasn’t ready to face her living room just yet, but he was proud of her for fighting through the trauma.
“Sam?” she asked, her eyes welling with tears.
“He couldn’t be helped, honey. You did everything you could for him. Sometimes you just can’t turn the tide once it’s headed to shore.”
“I should have done more. I should have made him better. Everything I’ve done for the last four years, all the study, the work… I believe in what I do. But I failed, and Sam paid the price.”
It killed him that she would think like this. “Ally, you’re not a failure. Far from it. Look at the other guys in your group. They’re all better because of you. They’re ready to graduate and take their place in the world. Because of you, sweetheart. Ask them if your therapy was effective. Ask me. You changed my life, baby. You did the best you could. Even the doctors and nurses thought he was well enough to leave the hospital. Sometimes you can’t predict the outcome—all you can do is work with what you’re given. You did that. It’s over. Put it out of your mind.”
“If only I could. Thank you for taking charge and looking after me. I know the sheriff’s office will want to talk to me, but could we do it tomorrow? I don’t think I can face them today.”
He ran his fingers through her dark curls, and she closed her eyes and breathed a soft sigh. “Don’t worry about a thing. Sam didn’t have anyone but his ex-wife and his little boy. They’ve been notified. Dr. Leo—Mary—will be in to see you later. I spoke with Jess.”
“You spoke with Jess?” she interrupted, and moved closer into his embrace. Her reaction made him smile, and he dropped a light kiss on her nose.
“Yes, I spoke with Jess. He wants to come see you too. I asked him to wait until you’re stronger. He’s going to take charge of Brett’s House, though. Make sure the inside work is completed and the furnishings are in place. Everyone wants to pitch in. Hell, I think all the guys on the project are half in love with you. Harper is one thing, the rest of them can take a hike. Is there anything else I can do? I need to check in with Coach and let him know what’s going on.”
“You have your game to prepare for. I’m going to be fine. Why don’t you hit the showers at the athletic building and get something to eat. It was sweet of you to sit with me all night, but you have to be exhausted. I’ll be all right. I’m stronger than I look.”
“You’re stronger than anyone I know, and I love you.”
She smiled, and it warmed his heart. He wanted to spend the rest of his life making her smile.
“About time you realized it, Coach,” she teased. “Now go take care of yourself for a change. You know where to find me when you’re done.”
It was the first time anyone had called him Coach. He liked the new title. He was comfortable with the new man. He owed it all to her.
Chapter Twenty
Allison turned on her side as Brodie left. The events of the previous day and night played through her mind like the re-run of a television show. Could she have done anything differently? Had she done all that was humanly possible for Sam Bennett? The turmoil in these men’s minds was beyond understanding. They suffered so. She knew they did. She could see the hopelessness in Sam’s eyes, feel the loss of hope, hear the crack of the gunshot, smell the salty rust of his blood. Bile rose in her throat, and tears clogged her vision.
Oh, Brett. I’m so sorry. So very sorry. If I had only known…
But the strangest thing happened. She felt a sudden warmth spread over her like a soft blanket on a cold day. A peace came over her. Her heart calmed, and a measure of strength restored her. She knew her brother was near, there in the room with her.
Somehow his understanding and encouragement and unconditional love filled her soul, and she was comforted. For a moment she almost thought she could hear his voice reassuring her that everything was going to be all right, that she hadn’t failed, that he wanted her to continue, to fight on. It seemed so real that she strained to see him through the sunlight filtering into the room. She’d always known he was with her in spirit. To have this experience was miraculous. With trembling lips, through watery eyes, she murmured her thanks.
With him in her corner, she could carry on. She and Brodie. With Brett walking beside them, she could carry on. She had so much to be thankful for.
A knock sounded at the door and Mary Leo came in, eyes twinkling as usual and a wide smile on her face. �
��You’re better!”
“How can you tell?” she asked with a smile. It felt really good to smile.
“My gypsy grandmother,” they said in unison and laughed.
“Well, if you can laugh, you have to be on the road to recovery.”
“I am. I know I’m going to have a rough road ahead for a while.” She paused, her mind re-living the scene in her living room. The fear. Sam’s death—the blood and gore. The excruciating sadness of losing a patient. “But I hope to be back to my old self before long. Brodie just left. Did you see him in the hall?”
“I did. He’s taking good care of you?” Mary asked with a wink.
“The best.” She paused at the smug look of satisfaction on her friend’s face. Allison knew Mary had been rooting for her and Brodie from the beginning of their relationship. Genuine affection warmed her heart as she smiled at her boss. She had a lot to be grateful for.
“I told you the timing was right this time. Now, on to other matters. Brodie told you about Jess Harper taking charge of the construction at Brett’s House? It’s all settled, and you don’t have to worry about that. As for the fundraiser, what are your thoughts? Do you want to continue heading up the project, or do you want to pass it to someone else? I’m filling in for you at the VA and on campus, so that’s about all I can handle, but I can put out some feelers and see if there’s an event planner we could convince to take on the project. With all the publicity from the mayor’s office, someone’s bound to want to take advantage of a prestigious opportunity.”
“Don’t do that yet. I can’t promise I’ll be at one hundred percent, but there are a lot of things I can do from…wherever I’ll be staying, to lay the groundwork. I’d already sent out e-mails to Erick Kramer, my former agent, and to some of my Juilliard friends. The String Quartet has responded with a commitment, and Erick says he’ll try to line up a couple of soloists as well as some of the pianists who have done duets with me.”
“Then you’ve already made a good bit of headway. Tell you what. Why don’t I leave it in your hands? I don’t want to see you at the hospital this week, though. If you feel strong enough, we’ll get you back on track the following week. If at any time you get to feeling overwhelmed or you need assistance, let me know. How does that sound?”
“I really lucked out when I sent you my resume, Mary Leo. You’re not only a wonderful boss but a dear friend, as well. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome, Allison. I never had children, never thought I wanted any. Too busy to stop and share my life with a little one. But I’m thinking I might have made a mistake. Having you in my life makes me wish I’d taken time for a child. A daughter like you would be a blessing.”
“I’m available for adoption.” Allison grinned.
“Then that settles it! You’re mine. Glad to see you bouncing back. Did my viola music have anything to do with it?”
“No doubt. No doubt at all. Your music playing counterpoint to Brodie’s voice brought me back. You both make me feel so loved. Appreciated. Treasured. If I needed confirmation of the healing power of music, I’ve now experienced it on a personal level. More than ever, I believe in what we do.”
“As do I, sweet girl. As do I.”
****
Brodie knocked on Coach Randall’s door.
“In,” the man barked.
He stood when he saw who it was and offered his hand. “I heard. It was on the news this morning. How is she?”
“Better. She’s going to be fine, though it might take some time. Actually, that’s why I’m here,” he said.
“I was afraid of that. How does your squad look for this weekend?”
“Carver is in good shape. If he stays healthy throughout the game, and the offensive line stands strong, we should be able to take a win. Grossman can step in if he needs to. He’s solid and eager for a chance to prove himself. Levon is another story. If both our go-to guys get knocked out of the game, we’re in trouble. So…”
“Coach Miller, it’s on you. I didn’t hire you to be a cheerleader or a counselor. If you need to be here, be here. If you feel you’re needed more elsewhere, then that’s your decision.”
“This is a critical time for Allison, Coach. She needs me, and I don’t want to leave her alone. This is her second exposure to a suicide. She’s a strong woman, but I sense she’s pushing recovery too hard. We live close to each other, and she has to pass her house if I take her to my place. I’m thinking of giving her some R&R away from Birmingham. At least for a week. The place I have in mind is within driving distance. I’ll commit to the game—no way would I skip that unless she gets worse. But if I can take off an hour early, and if the guys step up to the plate, I think I can do both—give her what she needs and give to the team too. How does that sound?”
“That sounds like a well thought-out plan. And Brodie, give Allison my regards. Hell of a thing. The paper said Brett suffered PTSD and took his own life. I didn’t know. Damn shame. I can’t imagine going through that once, let alone twice. You take good care of her. I hear good things about her program.”
“Yes, sir. Thanks, Coach.”
He left messages for his three-deep squad. He wanted to make sure they were ready to give him all they had while he commuted back and forth for practice. They were playing UT Chattanooga this weekend. Their program was showing signs of being a real factor in the conference. The game wouldn’t be a steal, by any means, but if they worked hard and played smart, they could win.
He could have grabbed a shower on campus, but he wanted to see what was going on up the mountain. CSU should be finished at Ally’s, and Jess had mentioned he’d swing by this afternoon. Funny how he’d begun to think of his rival as a friend…almost. Ally was right—he was a good man. Just not the man for her.
The forensics unit was pulling out of her driveway as Brodie came down the street. He should check her house before he got a shower. He’d probably need the hot water to wash the smell of death out of his nostrils. A white van followed him and turned into her place as he parked his truck at home. The crime scene cleanup crew had arrived. He hurried across the street.
Two middle-aged women unloaded chemicals and mops and broom from the rear of the van. He introduced himself as Allison’s friend and offered to carry the heavy vacuum. All three entered and stared at the gruesome scene. He imagined they’d seen it all before.
For a minute, all he needed was air. He glanced at her homey room. Her personality was everywhere he looked, her presence a tangible thing. The soft fabrics, whimsical pillows, the cheerful yellow of her kitchen. The cozy décor said so much about her. The only blemish was the damage Sam had done. Darkened blood and brain matter stained the blinds and walls. A pool of blood dried black on the floor, the stench of death far from dissipated.
“Don’t you worry, sir. When Lorna and I are done, it’ll look good as new. You won’t see a thing, nor find a trace of odor. You might not even need to paint. But you will have to get rid of that chair.”
“A friend, Jess Harper, is coming by this afternoon. He’s going to take care of what you ladies can’t fix. You might be here when he arrives. You’ll let him in if he does?”
“You bet. We’ll take care of the lady’s house, you don’t have to worry. We’ll be here the rest of the afternoon. You’ll want to let things dry overnight. By tomorrow, the house should be as good as new, and Ms. Chandler can come home.”
He gathered some clothes: jeans, tops, sleepwear. Opening her lingerie chest, he felt like a pervert. She liked feminine, lacy panties and matching bras. He grabbed the contents of the entire drawer. Tennis shoes, slippers. He found her bathing suit and coverup hanging in the closet and added them to the stack of garments on the bed. There was a duffel of some kind on a shelf, flowers all over the thing. That would hold everything. If she wanted or needed anything else, he could swing by and get it after practice.
He said his goodbyes to the cleaning ladies and headed to his place for a shower. It was late in the afternoon by
the time he made his way back down the mountain to University Hospital.
Allison was sitting up in bed, picking at an early supper.
“What? You don’t like watery Jell-O and cold chicken?” he teased as he entered her room.
A bright smile lit her face. “I’ve had better meals, but I’m not hungry, so it doesn’t really matter. What do you have there?”
“I picked up a few things you might need from your house. Jeans, underwear, your makeup bag, stuff like that.”
“You went through my underwear?” Her eyebrows rose.
“Yeah. It was a sacred experience, one I’ll treasure always.” Her banter made him happy. Gave him hope things would work out. Imagining her dressed in black lace gave him hope for other things, as well.
A delicate blush colored her pretty face. She looked so damn cute.
“It looks like you emptied my closet. I’m going home in the morning.”
“Yeah. About that. I had an idea. Cleared it already with Coach Randall. Instead of going home, how would you feel about a few days in the country?”
Something flickered in her eyes; she smiled and sat back against the pillows. “The country?”
He nodded. “Thought I’d rent a place out on Logan Martin. We could eat, drink, lay about in the sun. Swim, if the water’s not too cold. Read, relax, fool around.” He wagged his brows and looked so hopeful she had to laugh.
“Fool around, huh? That sounds like heaven.” Biting her bottom lip, she studied the tiles on the floor. So sweet and thoughtful. Brodie wanted to spare her the return to her house. She was feeling all right, but she wasn’t sure about going back home so soon. “What about the game Saturday? I wouldn’t want you to miss it.”
Sonata by Moonlight Page 19
