by J M Wolf
This Book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise, be lent, re-sold, duplicated, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher’s prior written consent in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without similar condition including this condition being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
Jace’s Trial
Copyright © 2018 by JM Wolf
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.
Cover Artist: Rue Volley
Edited by: Leslie Copeland
Edited For Encompass Ink by: Elizabeth A. Lance
EAL Editing Services
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written permission of the author.
To my fans who knew me back in my music days when I called myself Monarch Mayfly.
Thank you for never giving up on me.
Jace
My father was killed in action. That piece of news Aunt Desiree and I received a week ago kept replaying in my mind like a song on repeat. I couldn’t stifle the pain I felt in my chest at the realization that my father would never come home. Well he would be, but he’d be in a fucking coffin. What was left of my world crumbled.
Desiree wasn’t fairing any better than I was. Even now I could hear her crying downstairs. I wanted to go down there and assure her that everything was going to be okay, but even I couldn’t believe that. Neither of us would be the same again. I couldn’t fathom how unfair the universe was being. How much more could I lose before I’ve steeped into darkness and let it consume me forever? Hell, I am already halfway there.
I’d lost just about everything that mattered to me. I’d lost my schooling, my boyfriend, one of my best friends, then my mother and now my father. Come on God, what else do you plan to rip away from me? Are you going to take away my aunt too? Are you going to take away our family home?
As much as I wanted to cry as well, the tears wouldn’t come. I didn’t know why, but they just wouldn’t. The misery was there, but I couldn’t let it out.
I looked around my bedroom taking note of all my accomplishments that were inspired by my father. Accomplishments from my dream of music. Dozens of trophies standing proud on shelves along my walls from multiple competitions as well as certificates and ribbons, sheet music and song lyrics cluttering my desk, and the first guitar I ever owned given to me by my father leaning against my music producing station. Everything I earned because my father opened my eyes to what music meant to me. Now they only haunted me.
It was then that I decided to make a change and went to the garage to grab a few boxes. Bringing them to my room, I began packing everything up, my trophies, my lyrics, and the guitar. Everything needed to go. Locking them away was like locking the last piece of my heart, and I realized that my passion for music was another thing that the universe was taking from me. It took music away from me the moment it decided to take my father away from me.
I left my bedroom door open as I packed so all I had to do was carry the boxes to the garage. As I packed the last one I heard Desiree climbing up the steps. She stepped into the doorway and noticed what I was doing.
“Why are you packing up your stuff?” Desiree asked.
Not meeting her eyes, I simply said, “Because I’m quitting.”
“Excuse me?” Desiree sounded alarmed.
“You heard me. I’m done with music.”
“Jace, why?”
“Because there’s just no point anymore,” I said solemnly.
“What do you mean there’s no point anymore? You love your music. It’s a part of you.”
“It was a part of me. Now it’s a thing of the past.”
As I closed my boxes, I heard Desiree walk into my room. She stood beside me and placed a hand on my arm, stopping my movement.
“Jace,” Desiree whispered. “If you’re doing this because of your dad, you’re making a huge mistake. He wouldn’t want you giving up the one thing that makes you happy for anything.”
She was right. If my father was around he’d refuse to leave my room until I unpacked all my shit and promised to never try to give up my dreams again. He’d want me to sing and write music forever. The problem was that my father wasn’t around, and he never would be again.
“I can’t,” I whispered gesturing towards my boxes. “I can’t do this anymore.”
“Why can’t you?” Desiree asked as her voice cracked with emotions.
“Because my music won’t speak to me anymore, not the way it always had. I don’t feel it anymore.” I turned to look at Desiree who regarded me with such sorrow. “I’ve lost my muse, Desiree.”
It hurt me to admit that, but it was the truth. After a week of having to accept my father was gone from this Earth, I couldn’t find the inspiration to create music. It wasn’t from lack of trying. In fact, I tried my hardest to concentrate and let the music and the words flow out of me, but none came. Whatever was preventing me from crying also affected my ability to be the musician I worked so hard to be.
“Jace, maybe you just need to give it time. Your father’s death is still recent and it’s taking your focus away from your music. Maybe after the funeral, your flow will return. Just don’t throw away this side of you. Please don’t do this to yourself,” Desiree pleaded, and sounding hopeful that maybe time was all I needed.
Was it too soon to throw in the towel completely? For most people, the answer would be yes. However, it wasn’t the same with me. I was completely in tune with my muse. Music was like a second soul for me, and now that soul was gone.
I sighed as I stacked up the three boxes I stuffed with my things and lifted them up. “I’m sorry, Desiree, but time isn’t going to bring my love for creating back. My music died the moment Dad died.” And just like that, I carried the boxes to the garage along with my guitar and tucked them in a corner where they would remain forever.
Gerard
One year later
The sign Welcome to Historic Abingdon came into view as I drove into the town Riley had spoken so highly about. Abingdon was his home, his life. Now, it was the place where I’d say goodbye to him.
When I got the call last year that my Navy Seal comrade, and boyfriend, was killed in action during his last mission, I felt my world tumbling down like a stack of dominoes. What shocked me even more was that his younger sister Desiree had been the one to call me with the news. I’d been with Riley for about eight months and never had the opportunity to meet or talk to any of his relatives. Hell, I wasn’t even aware that they knew about me.
So, you can imagine my surprise when Desiree told me about Riley’s passing and had invited me to come down to Abingdon for the funeral. Naturally, because I loved Riley, I wanted to say yes. The problem was that I was scheduled to be overseas the day of the funeral and I couldn’t get the time off. As much as I wanted to say goodbye to the man I loved, I couldn’t.
After that, Desiree and I lost touch with each other until two weeks ago when she invited me down for Riley’s one-year memorial. By then, I was already retired and had the free time to make it. It terrified the shit out of me to meet Riley’s sister and son after all that time, but I didn’t want to waste this chance to pay my respects to Riley finally, so I said yes.
Of all the times I’ve dreamed and fantasized about the day I’d get to meet his family, I never once thought it would be because Riley died. Hell, after a year since the attack, I still could barely believe it. It seemed like it was only yesterday since we’d spent ou
r first vacation together. Riley went home to his sister and son for the majority of his R&R, but with a week left until we had to return overseas, he decided to use his remaining days in Tampa with me. It was the first time he and I had any real alone time, and in that week, I saw a glimpse of my future. Or rather, a glimpse of what I thought would be my future. Fate clearly had other plans in mind.
Taking another glance at the address Desiree had texted me; I noticed her house was twenty minutes away. Not bothering to take in the scenery, I stayed on the road until a crisp white two-story house appeared on the outskirts of town. Parking on the left side of the house, I turned off the ignition and got out, making my way to the front door.
The feeling of unease began washing over me as I stood in front of the door. I wanted to knock, but I couldn’t. How the fuck was I going to manage to face my dead boyfriend’s sister when the one person that tied us together was no longer around? I was a stranger to them while I was with Riley and was even more of one now that I was without him.
Before I could talk myself into turning around and getting the fuck out of there without being spotted, the front door swung open and a woman appeared on the other side. She looked to be in her mid to late thirties and was about five inches shorter than I was, with long blonde hair and cobalt eyes that so closely resembled Riley’s. I had no doubt I knew who she was before she stuck her hand out and introduced herself.
“You must be Gerard. You’re exactly as Riley described you. I’m Desiree.”
I mentally cursed myself for not bailing quick enough and settled for shaking Desiree's hand. “Yes, ma’am, I am. Nice to finally meet you, Desiree. I only wish our first meeting was under better circumstances.”
Desiree’s despair filled gaze fell to the floor. “Yes. I know this has to be a little awkward for you.”
“It is. I have to be honest with you; I had no idea Riley had even mentioned me to you.”
Desiree nodded her understanding then opened the door wider and stepped to the side.
“Why don’t you come in and we can talk,” she said.
Still feeling uncomfortable, I fought against it as I stepped inside the house. It was clean and open with no interior walls separating the rooms of the main floor. The outer walls were white with hardwood floors throughout the whole house. I turned to my left and saw a coffee colored wraparound sofa in the middle of what I assumed was the living room, and a small table right in front of it. Behind the sofa was the kitchen, and farthest to the back, was the dining room and a flight of stairs in the far-left corner.
Desiree led me past the living room toward the dining area where I took a seat at a rectangular, stone-gray table.
“Would you like anything to drink?” Desiree asked before taking a seat.
I shook my head.
She sat in the chair opposite me as her gaze shifted up and down, giving me a once-over.
Once I felt she had finished her observation I said, “Before anything else, I’d like to say that I’m truly sorry for what happened to your brother. I wish I was there with him during the attack. Maybe then I would’ve been able to keep him safe.”
Desiree gave me a sorrowful smile. “What happened to Riley was tragic, but I’m sure he was glad you were away from harm. He loved you, Gerard. He talked about you a great deal.”
“He did?” I asked curiously.
Desiree chuckled. “Of course, he had. Every time we talked online while he was overseas he would always find some excuse to talk about you. He never shut up about how strong you are, or how stern, or determined. The guy practically idolized you, and he always had this twinkle in his eyes the moment your name slipped from his lips.”
I couldn’t stop my cheeks from heating at knowing that Riley was proud to talk about me to his sister. It was the exact opposite of me. As much as I would’ve loved to brag about Riley to my family, I knew even mentioning a guy would be a recipe for disaster. Not that I wasn’t proud to have called Riley mine, but my parents would’ve never approved of him. Mainly because of the fact Riley was a man and not housewife material.
I lived an hour away from my folks so during our last vacation, while Riley spent it with his sister and son, I spent it with them. If I were honest, I’d rather have been anywhere. However, it was expected of me to make an appearance and tell them about my accomplishments to make sure to honor the Ramhart name. Of course, one of the topics that never seemed to go away no matter how many times I wished it would, was me settling down with a wife and having kids. My father wanted a grandson who would continue the long line of proud Seals.
I never had a desire to marry a woman and they knew that. They knew I was gay, but they’d rather pretend that I wasn’t. I had hopes of marriage and children one day, but not in the way they expected me to have it. It was the one piece of my life I refused to hand to them.
When Riley texted to let me know he was coming down to Florida for the final week of our vacation, I told my parents I needed to leave early and headed back home. The moment Riley showed up at my doorstep, no power on Earth could’ve pulled me away from taking him in my arms. That one week spent together just him and I was the best week of my life. Now it was the only time I’d ever have with him.
“I’m sorry I missed the funeral last year,” I said. “I really wanted to be here, but I wasn’t able to get a leave.”
Desiree shook her head. “Don’t even worry about that. You’re here now and that’s all that matters. I’m just glad I finally got to meet you.”
“Me too.”
“How’ve you been holding up since last year?” Desiree asked.
My eyes dropped to the ground. “Honestly, I’m doing as well as I can manage I guess. It still hurts, and every square inch of my apartment has a memory of Riley. It’s been a struggle.”
“I can relate. When I received the news that my older brother died, every bone in my body felt cold. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but it was reality.”
“What about his son?” I asked looking up at her. “Jace, right? Has he been okay?”
Desiree hesitated a moment before saying, “Jace…he’s been…it’s kind of hard to describe. He’s functioning well, but these days it’s like his mind is distant.”
“Distant?”
“Yeah. Like I said it’s hard to explain, but once you meet him I’m sure you’ll see what I’m talking about. Now,” Desiree leaned in close and rested her arms on the table. “How long do you plan to stay in town?”
“Two weeks.”
“Did you already book a hotel room?”
I shook my head.
“Well, we have a spare bedroom. You’re more than welcome to stay here if you’d like.”
I looked up at her in stunned silence, as I let her words sink into my brain. Was she seriously letting me stay here? Was that a good idea? While yes, I hadn’t made plans for a hotel yet, but that was going to be my next stop after I talked to Desiree. I opened my mouth to tell her that wasn’t necessary, but she held up a hand to silence me.
“Riley would want you here,” Desiree whispered.
My mouth closed at that. I had nothing to counteract her statement, so all I could do was agree. Desiree relaxed and then went back to her seat. Just as she did, I heard someone coming down the stairs, along with a voice that made my heart skip a beat.
“Desiree, I’m heading out to help Patricia at the farmers’ market. Did you need me to grab anything from the store on my way back?” the voice said.
I turned in the direction of the sweet masculine voice, and the man who had spoken froze at the final two steps with his eyes directed toward me. He looked to be barely in his twenties with short blond hair and cobalt blue eyes. He was wearing a white t-shirt, black jeans that perfectly showed off his masculine legs, black military boots, and a worn leather jacket with the sleeves rolled up to his elbow. Something blue on his wrist caught my eye, and I instinctively looked to see what it was. I couldn’t see it clearly, but from where I sat, it looke
d to be a bird of some kind. I was staring at a young man who was the spitting image of Riley. This was his son Jace, and he was captivating.
“No, honey, we’re all good here. You got the bills that needed to be mailed today, right?” Desiree asked.
The blond angel in front of me turned to Desiree pulling out a stack of envelopes from his jacket pocket and held them up for her to see. “Of course, I do.”
Desiree nodded her approval just as the young man placed the bills back in his pocket and set his scintillating eyes back on me.
“Hi there,” the young man said casually.
“Hi,” I said back.
The young man stepped down from the stairs and slowly made his way to me. I was already up on my feet extending a hand out to him before he stood mere inches from me. He took my hand in his giving it a firm shake, and we both gasped at the sudden feel of electricity running through our bodies from the contact. What the fuck was that? I never felt that before.
“You must be Jace. It’s nice to meet you finally,” I said after clearing my throat.
“Um, yes, that’s me. Do I know you?”
“No, but I knew your father and he spoke highly of you all the time. I worked with him overseas. I wasn’t able to come down for the funeral last year, so I figured I’d stop by now to pay my respects.” The familiar ache of despair caused me to look down as I continued speaking to the man who looked so much like his father. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
I heard a small sigh coming from Jace before saying, “Thank you.”
I noticed that I’d yet to release Jace’s hand. I looked at our joined hands and turned his wrist to get a better look at the tattoo. It was, indeed, a blue bird. A flock of them, to be exact, and they looked to be in mid-flight with their little wings spread wide.
“That’s a nice tattoo,” I said softly.
The young man raised an eyebrow at me, and I saw the faintest hint of a smile. “Thank you. It was a gift from my father on my sixteenth birthday. It’s also how I got my nickname.”
