by J M Wolf
“We’re not done with our discussion, young man,” Patricia said with a wag of her finger. “I would still like to know what put you in such a good mood today, especially since you were missing over the weekend after a mental breakdown.”
When Patricia mentioned my meltdown, I had to do a double take. I couldn’t believe I forgot about that. My mind and body had been so wrapped up in Gerard that all my previous frustrations vanished, as if they never existed. Funny how that happened when I was drowning in bliss.
I shrugged my shoulders trying to act nonchalantly. “Nothing’s changed that much. I was finally able to spill out my frustrations and I spent the weekend recovering.”
Patricia crossed her arms over her chest, looking at me as if telling me to cut the crap.
“Recovering, huh? And would a certain vistitor of yours have anything to do with your recovery, especially since the man was also the one who dropped you off here an hour late?”
And my embarrassment returned with a vengeance. After Gerard joined me in the shower, we proceeded to have a second go-around under the spray of the water. Jerking off and grinding our cocks together as Gerard held me tight against his muscular body. When we finally got out of the shower, Gerard wrapped a towel around his waist and was making his way back to his room. But since seeing him in nothing but a towel brought back erotic memories of the last time I saw him like that, I decided to jump him in the hallway, where we took it upon ourselves to have round three.
Once we were finally done acting like wild dogs in heat, I rushed to finish getting myself ready for work. Before I left Gerard asked if he could take me to the farmers’ market and pick me up when I was done for the day. At first, I was going to tell him no, but then thought against it. Having him take me to work and pick me up meant being in his car with him, spending more time together. So, I told him yes.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I said trying not to lead on about how much I was thinking about him, and not sure how well I was succeeding. Judging by the stunned look of realization on Patricia’s face, I knew she wasn’t buying my bullshit.
Patricia leaned in closer so when she spoke only I could hear, “Jace, is there something going on between you and Gerard?”
My eyes nearly bugged out of my socket. How the hell had she figured that out? What do I say?
“U-Uh…I uh…I-I…” I said lamely, and I knew I was busted.
Patricia gasped, “Oh my word, you guys are sleeping together, aren’t you?”
“Shut up!” I growled before she started getting too loud.
Patricia just laughed clapping her hands together. “My, my, that man sure knows how to charm the men in your family, doesn’t he?”
“Patricia,” I whined like a little kid.
“Does he have a big dick? Is that why the men in your family fawn over him?”
“Oh, my fucking God, please stop! I’m begging you!”
“What, I’m just curious. He must be well equipped if both you and your father couldn’t get enough of him.”
“Seriously, Patricia, stop. I don’t need any more reminders of Gerard and my dad’s relationship. I’m still not sure if it’ll even go anywhere because of that.”
“Now why would the fact he dated your father first have any impact on what you guys do? If you both like one another, then that’s all that matters.”
I agreed with Patricia on that one, but I knew Gerard might still have a problem wrapping his head around the subject. Plus there were other topics he and I needed to discuss.
“It’s more than just that. I mean, the man’s leaving after this week. He lives in Florida, and I’ll be here. What kind of relationship can we have when we both live so far from one another?”
“Have you talked to him about it?”
I shook my head. “No. Not yet, but we already agreed to talk about stuff like that.”
Patricia nodded in approval. “Good. That is an important topic to talk about.”
“I know.”
Patricia stepped closer to me, wrapping herself around me in a warm embrace. Her scent of Jasmine and lavender tickled my nose.
“May I offer you some advice?” she asked.
“What advice?”
“Don’t stress yourself so much about the future. Focus more on the here and now. Cherish the moments you have with Gerard now, instead of thinking about what will happen once his trip is up. If you worry too much about it, you’ll never be able to enjoy the time you do have with him fully, and you’ll regret that. Seize the moment, Jace.”
I stared into the eyes of the woman who was my godmother. I could see that her mind was on something else when she spoke about enjoying the time I still had with Gerard. I knew she was speaking from her own experience. Patricia lost her husband when Adam and I were only thirteen, and I knew that she still missed him a great deal.
“How do you do it, Patricia? Even after a year of my dad’s death I can still barely imagine life without him. How were you able to cope with losing Mr. Walker?”
“It wasn’t easy. Losing my husband was like losing a piece of my heart, a feeling I believe you and Gerard are familiar with.”
I nodded, because we both knew it all too well.
Patricia continued, “I was able to handle it because I had Adam to think about. If I fell apart, how could I be there for our son? So even though the pain hurt, I just kept going. And that’s what I’m telling you. You just keep living, honey. It gets easier over time, but you never really forget them, and that’s because they’re forever in our hearts. Your father is within both yours and Gerard’s hearts, and I know he’s smiling down on the both of you as we speak.”
“I hope you’re right,” I mumbled dropping my gaze.
“Jace, stop worrying about what your father would think of your relationship with Gerard. I know that’s something rattling in your head. I’d be concerned if it wasn’t. But, don’t let it stress you. If you and Gerard make each other happy, then I’m sure your father would accept it.”
I nodded. I wanted to believe that Dad would be happy for us. A part of me was also nervous about how those I loved would take the news of my relationship with Gerard, and surprisingly Patricia seemed okay with it. That gave me hope that everyone else would accept my feelings for the man. The one who was beginning to teach me how to fly.
After I thanked Patricia, she and I got back to selling as a few more people stopped by our booth. I decided that even though Gerard and I would talk about all the important details, I wasn’t going to stress about it anymore. I also wasn’t going to worry myself sick over whether or not my father would approve. This was about Gerard and me, and it was up to us to decide where our relationship would lead.
“Once again, Jace, I thank you so much for your help,” Patricia said while we began packing up for the day.
“You know it’s never a problem. I love helping,” I replied.
“Yes, but all you do lately is work. You need some time off to just go out and have some fun. Live life.”
I rolled my eyes which earned me a smack on the upper arm.
“I’m serious here, mister. If Gerard is only here for this week, then spend it with him. I can manage my booth without you. Show him around.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I agreed.
We continued cleaning up our booth while I waited for Gerard when I heard someone approaching. Thinking it was Gerard, I began to smile.
“Hey, I was just…” Once I looked up and saw who was in front of me, my smile quickly died, and a terrifying chill ran up my spine. It wasn’t Gerard, but now I wished he was around at that moment. I never thought I’d see the man in front of me again, especially since I left him back in New York along with my musical dreams. This was the last place I’d expected to see him. My ex, Brett. My old professor.
Brett looked just as he did last time I saw him. A man in his forties, he sported dark curly hair that rested on his shoulders, the faintest stubble of beard, and piercing green ey
es that once upon of time fascinated me, but later began to haunt my worst nightmares. The last day I saw him, he left our…his…apartment to attend his morning classes. After brutally shoving his dick into my ass the night before despite my crying protest and begging him to be gentle, I couldn’t look him in the eyes the following morning.
That night, something snapped in me, like a sign finally lit in my head telling me to get the fuck out. I told Brett I was sick and he insisted I stay home from school and focus on getting better. He then kissed me and told me he loved me before leaving to teach his morning classes. Once he left, I waited a good thirty minutes before packing up what I could, got in my car and drove back home. On the way, I called the Dean letting him know that I would no longer be attending my classes, and then my dad, letting them know I was coming home.
The text messages and voicemails he left me kept replaying in my head. Screaming at me to get the fuck home. That when he found me, I was going to regret being away for so long. Talking about after everything he did for me to become the megastar in Juilliard, this was how I was repaying him. How I was a worthless slut. And finally, that I was nothing and I would never make it in the music world without him. After that, the messages stopped, and that was nearly two years ago.
Seeing my old professor/ex-boyfriend in my hometown was not part of starting my life over from scratch. Granted, a lot of shit that had happened in the last year wasn’t part of my original plan, but I was hoping this part would’ve continued to be out of the equation. Of course, because my life could never be how I planned, it was fitting that my biggest mistake would come slap me in the face.
“Hey, Jace,” Brett said in a low voice, smiling like he didn’t have a care in the world.
Before everything went to shit, I used to melt at the sight of that smile. A smile that once told me that Brett was a gentle and passionate man. A smile that told me even if our relationship was improper, our love would be able to conquer all obstacles. I now knew better. That smile of his was nothing but a mask. A mask to hide his inner demons. Demons that enjoyed molding me into his perfect little puppet so he could tug at my strings and control every aspect of my life. I wasn’t his puppet any longer. Now, we were on my home turf, and he wouldn’t get to me.
“Brett,” I said still stunned at the shock of seeing him. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you.”
“Why?” I asked unable to hide the venom spilling out of my mouth.
Brett’s expression grew dark, and I felt my hands clutching into fists on the table. If he planned to start something, I sure as hell planned to fight back. He wouldn’t make me feel fragile in my hometown. I wouldn’t let him. I’d be damned if I let him intimidate me ever again.
Patricia came up from behind placing a dainty hand on my shoulder. “Jace, who is this?”
Brett focussed his attention on Patricia giving her one of his winning smiles that once again hid the bastard he was. I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell Patricia who he was, but doing that would mean admitting that I slept with my old professor and that I let him use me. I couldn’t reveal my skeletons to her. I didn’t want to see the look of shame on her face when she’d look at me, especially given everything I’d been through the last couple of days.
“My apologies, ma’am. I’m Brett Summers, and I’m an acquaintance of Jace from back in New York. I stopped by to check and see how he was doing, and hopefully catch up on old times.”
I willed myself to bite my tongue. What the Hell did he mean he was here to see how I was? It wasn’t any of his damn business. So many warning bells went off in my head, and I had no idea what to do. I began to feel overwhelmed. Suddenly, I felt the need to have Gerard here with me. Where was Gerard anyway?
“Well, nice to meet you, Mr. Summers. I’m Patricia Walker, Jace’s godmother,” Patricia said.
“A pleasure meeting you,” Brett replied than turned his eyes back to me and reached a hand out to cover one of my fists. “Jace, do you mind if we talk about something important in private?”
I opened my mouth ready to tell him to go to hell, but Brett must’ve seen the rebellion in my eyes because he started squeezing my fist painfully tight. I quickly closed my mouth and gritted my teeth forcing myself not to yelp at the pain I was feeling. Yep, he was still as abusive as ever.
“Jace, I just wanted to talk to you for a moment. Do you think we can do that?” The glaring in his eyes followed by the monotone of his voice was a clear warning for me not to resist or things would get out of hand. I didn’t want to risk him causing a scene if I had the power to avoid it. So I gestured to my right with my chin, and he nodded, walking a few feet to my right and waited for me.
I let out a long sigh and started walking toward his direction when Patricia grabbed my arm halting me to a stop.
“Jace, honey, is everything alright?” Patricia asked sounding concerned.
The mature and logical side of me begged to tell her the truth about the man who was waiting to speak with me, to tell her how dangerous Brett was. Instead, like an immature child, I said, “Yeah, I’m fine. I’m just going to see what he needs.”
Patricia leaned closer to speak in my ear so nobody could overhear what she was saying, “I don’t like the way he looked at you. There’s something off about him.”
Oh, if only she knew how right she was.
“Trust me, I’m fine. I’m safe with everyone here.”
And I knew I was right. I looked around the farmers’ market, seeing the faces of all the adults I grew up knowing. Ms. Estelle who once handknit my baby blankets and hats, Mr. and Mrs. Storm who ran the daycare I attended in my early childhood, Henry the head mechanic who always worked on my dad’s car, Mr. Burrows who was a veteran back in the fifties. The list went on.
They were all worried about me when my dad passed away and made sure I knew I could go to any of them if I needed someone to talk to. I loved them all.
“Go talk to him then, but I’ll be here watching you,” Patricia said leaving no room for me to argue.
I nodded and prepared myself to face the devil. When I got close enough to Brett for us to talk low enough so nobody could overhear, I looked up at my former professor.
“What the hell are you doing here, Brett?” I demanded.
“Is that any way to talk to your man?” Brett growled back.
I snorted. “You haven’t been my man in a long time. As a matter of fact, you were barely my man when we were together. I was more your bitch than your boyfriend.”
“Come on, Jace. Don’t be like that. And as for why I’m here, I’m here to take you back home.”
“I am home,” I said crossing my arms.
“Oh come on, Jace. You know your real home is with me back in New York.”
I resisted the urge to punch him in the face. I promised myself that I wouldn’t fight him, no matter how badly every bone in my body wanted to protest. I spent too much time letting my anger and frustration consume me, and I was tired of being angry. More importantly, I was tired of letting Brett Summers rile me up. If I let him get to me, it would mean that he still had power over me; and I wasn’t about to give him that satisfaction.
I said, “I don’t know what’s more pathetic. You being so obsessed as to show up after almost two years assuming I would actually go with you, or the fact that you truly believe that my home is with you. My home was never with you, professor.”
“Jace, baby,” Brett began to say as he reached forward to grab my shoulder.
I shook his hand off and backed away. At this point, I’d had enough of him. “No! I’m not going with you. I left for a reason, Brett, and I’m not going back.”
“What about your music dream? What about your education? Wouldn’t you want to honor your old man and make him proud of you for finishing your degree? I can help you get back to school.”
A temptation like going back to school for my music would’ve sounded much more appealing if it came from anyone but my e
x. While yes, my father might’ve loved for me to finish college, I knew in my heart that if he knew what happened to me during my time at Julliard, back when I was with Brett, he would’ve wanted me to leave him. He would’ve wanted me to go to the Dean about Brett and get the bastard away from me. Dad always wanted what was best for me, and Brett wasn’t it.
“I think my father would rather have me be a dropout than spend another moment with you. Try all you want, Brett, but I’m not going with you.”
I could see the anger pouring off of Brett as he quickly realized he was losing this debate; if you could even call it that. “Now, you listen here, Jace Garrison—”
I raised my hand up to silence him. My body was shaking, but I kept myself composed. “No. You listen. I’m not going with you. I will never go with you. You’ve hurt me, you’ve abused me, you’ve controlled me, you’ve belittled me, you’ve hidden me, and no matter how many times I cried and begged you to stop, you never did. You’re a sick sadistic man for even approaching one of your students like that, but I was the fool who let you. I will never make that mistake again. I’ve already met someone else who’s a better man than you could ever hope to be. You’re a part of my past, Brett and there is no future with you in it. We’re done, now go back to New York, Professor Summers.”
With that, I turned around and walked back to Patricia who never stopped looking at us to make sure I was in one piece. I took about five steps when I felt a tight grip on my wrist, and I was yanked back to Brett nearly dislocating my arm. His death grip on my wrist tightened and twisted, and it took every ounce of me not to cry out in pain. The townspeople saw what was going on and began crowding us, gasping in shock.
“Get your filthy hands off him!” I heard Patricia shout out.
I dared not to look back to see her. Brett’s face was against mine, and he was snarling in rage. Fear and bile rose, but I quickly pushed them back down.
