by J M Wolf
“I guess that’s our cue,” Gerard muttered in my ear before kissing my temple.
We started walking toward the door when we heard Malcolm say, “Hang on, guys.”
We turned back to face him, wondering what he wanted.
Malcolm seemed to hesitate, but then asked me, “Actually Jace, do you mind waiting outside so I can talk to Gerard alone?”
Gerard
“What’s this about? Is this your way of trying to convince Gerard he’s no good for me?” Jace said accusingly
My shoulders shook as I tried to keep myself from laughing. I wasn’t sure what Jace’s boss wanted to talk to me about, but I was hoping that wasn’t the case. When he called me an hour before, I was alarmed and curious as to how he got my number in the first place. He told me Desiree gave it to him. All Malcolm Hew said was that he was grateful for me protecting Jace, and to stop by the shop because he was going to let Jace off work early so he and I could spend the rest of the day together.
I knew how hard Jace worked, so some time to relax and have fun was a good idea, but I also knew that Jace working himself to the bone was his own decision. I was worried about coming in to pick him up, that he’d be angry with me over the plan, but to my surprise, he seemed eager to enjoy the evening before we headed home.
“It’s nothing like that, Bluejay,” Malcolm responded. “I just need to talk to Gerard.”
Jace didn’t move for a moment, obviously hesitant to leave me behind. He was protective of me, and I loved knowing he was looking out for me just as I was for him. Jace remained where he was in protest, but then turned his gaze to me. I could practically hear the silent question of what should I do written in those cobalt blue eyes of his.
“Go ahead. I’ll be out in just a few minutes,” I said then planted a kiss on the young man’s lips.
Curiosity was still written in his expression, but Jace nodded then walked out the door, leaving Malcolm and me alone.
“What can I do for you?” I asked the man.
Malcolm stiffened his posture as he stepped closer to me. His expression was neutral, but his eyes showed laserlike focus on me.
“Look, Gerard, I’m sure you’ve been through a lot after losing Riley. Trust me when I say that we all feel the impact of losing him. Riley was a great man whom the majority of us have known for many years. But Jace is also important to many, and he’s important to me.”
So that’s what the conversation was about. Jace. I guess since his father wasn’t around to interrogate me, this man felt the need to do it in his place. Desiree mentioned the other day how Malcolm had been in Jace’s life since he was born, so he was, in a way, a father figure to him. It was nice to see Jace was well loved and taken care of here. It showed the love this town had.
“You don’t have to worry,” I said. “I have no desire to hurt Jace. He’s important to me too.”
“But is that enough?”
I raised an eyebrow in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, Jace may not have said anything, but I can tell he’s falling for you. This isn’t some innocent crush like I thought it was when you asked him on a date a few days ago. I can tell Jace wants to give you his heart.”
I stood there completely petrified. Was Malcolm telling the truth? Was Jace falling in love with me? My heart thundered as my mind was in a dilemma. The idea that Jace was in love with me both thrilled me and confused me all at once. What were my feelings for him? Was I falling in love with Jace too? Could I fall in love with him?
I liked Jace a great deal. How could I not? I was able to let myself admit that I was attracted to the blond young man who was outside waiting for me as we were speaking, not just physically, but mentally. The couple of times Jace and I explored each other’s bodies was amazing, but I also loved seeing the smile on his face when we spoke. The way he lost himself when he sang his original song. How contagious his laugh was. How big his heart was to write a song to honor those who lost their loved ones.
The silence hung for a couple of minutes before Malcolm continued talking, “Gerard, I want to know what your intentions are with Jace. I hope you remember that it took Jace about a year just to get him somewhat back to the way he was before his father died. And while I’m grateful that you had a hand in that, I don’t want you to be the reason he shuts back down. Jace is in too deep with you right now so I hope this isn’t some casual fling for you, and I really hope that you’re not using him as a replacement for Riley.”
“What? Are you kidding me?” My eyes shot up to Malcolm feeling insulted for even thinking that I would ever use Jace as a Riley substitution. “I would never do that to Jace. He’s not a replacement.”
“Then what is he to you?”
“He’s…” I paused, because what exactly was Jace to me? A friend? A boyfriend? I mentally cursed myself for not knowing where Jace and I stood. While he and I had a lot to discuss, this should’ve been something we’d talked about before we started fooling around. I briefly thought about what my life would be like without the young man at my side, and my body stiffened hating that image. I didn’t want that.
“He’s someone who I want to keep safe and happy,” I finally said in a low voice.
“And what happens when you leave?” Malcolm asked. “You’re only here until the day after the memorial, correct? What then?”
Oh shit, Malcolm had a point there. What would Jace and I do when it was time for me to get back to my life? If we made us official, would it end after I left? I’d seen a lot of my comrades overseas who ended up getting divorced or separated because of long distance. I didn’t want that to happen to us.
What if Jace came with me to Florida? I mentally shook that thought out of my head the minute it popped up. Jace would never leave Abingdon again, and I wouldn’t want him to for me. Abingdon was his home, his safe haven. What about me? Could I see myself living in Abingdon? That was a possibility. I was already considering Jace and Desiree as my family. Hell, they’d treated me better in the week I’d been here than my parents had my entire life.
“Obviously that would be something for Jace and me to discuss. I don’t want to make a decision like that without him,” I finally said.
“We agree on that,” Malcolm said darkly. “Gerard, you guys may not know what this relationship of yours is, but I hope you figure it out. Jace is a good guy who deserves so much more than the shit he’s had to deal with. His heart is still fragile from everything that’s going on, but you seem to make him feel whole again. Protect Jace’s heart, Gerard. And if you end up being the one to break it, I’ll be coming after you.”
I could tell from the look in his deep green eyes that Malcolm could make good on his threat. He was right about Jace’s heart being fragile. It was no secret that he’d been going through life for the last couple of years as an empty shell that now seemed to be filling. I could never hurt Jace because I knew that if I had it my way, I’d protect him and his heart for the rest of my life.
“Are we clear?” Malcolm asked.
I nodded. “Crystal clear.”
I turned and headed out the door to meet up with the young man who I knew I’d take any kind of shit for. He was kneeling while looking up at the sky and drinking in the warmth of the evening sun. He was in a pair of khaki pants and a blue shirt that made his blue eyes stand out more. He was beautiful.
At the sound of the door closing, Jace turned to face me and smiled when he saw me. “Everything okay?”
I nodded as I walked toward him. “Yeah. Your boss over there was just giving me the riot act about how I need to take care of you, not hurt you, and all that good stuff.”
Jace chuckled and rolled his eyes. “That’s how everybody is I suppose.”
Once I was close enough, I held his face and kissed him softly on the lips. “That’s because everybody here loves you.”
“I know they do. I hated the idea of living in a small town when I was younger, but after all the shit I went through with Brett, and
I came home, I saw the love they had for me in a different light and I was grateful to have them to lean on.”
“You did the right thing coming home, Jace.”
Jace agreed then stole another kiss from me. “Can we walk the trail while we talk?”
“Whatever you want, Bluejay. Lead the way,” I said.
Jace began hiking toward the trail with me beside him. It was a narrow walkway up to the hills and around the mountains with the forests around us to block out the harsher rays of sunlight beaming down at us. Jace’s hand twitched at his side, and I could see he was nervous about taking my hand in his. I did it for him. When our fingers entertwined, his body stiffened a bit, but quickly relaxed as we kept walking.
“So, what should we start off this conversation with?” I asked trying to get the ball rolling.
“Are we boyfriends?” Jace asked quickly and judging by the surprise in his expression, he hadn’t meant to say that.
I chuckled. “I don’t know. Are we?”
“I don’t know,” Jace mumbled ducking his head in embarrassment.
I laughed. “Well, do you want us to be boyfriends?”
“Well, before I answer that, can I ask you something important?”
I nodded.
“Are you even ready to start a new relationship? I mean, I know my father died last year, I know you’re still coming to terms with that. I mean, you wanted to marry him after all. So, I don’t know, have you moved on?”
I let myself stay silent for a moment to think about what Jace asked me, and also what Malcolm and I discussed. I was actually touched that Jace wanted to know what my feelings were before slapping the boyfriend label on us, even though I could tell he wanted to. Despite what his feelings were, he thought of mine first. I thought about that time at dinner when he asked if there was ever a possibility of us dating. Back then, I didn’t believe Jace and I would’ve even gotten as far as we had.
There was no way I could deny that I wanted Jace. I wanted to protect him, to save him, to cherish him. I wanted to be there for him. Jace was mine to look after. But was I ready to let myself fall in love with him? Jace knew what my dream was. He knew I wanted to settle down. Would he want to have that with me, or was I getting ahead of myself? He was asking for a boyfriend, not a husband.
“Can I be honest with you?” I asked with a grin.
“I always want you to be honest.”
“I’ve been trying to figure out what my feelings are for you, and I’m just worried about hurting you or disappointing you. More than anything, I don’t want you thinking you’re just a fling or that you’re a replacement for your dad. You’re not either of those, Bluejay. You’ve come to mean a lot to me.”
Jace stopped walking then turned to face me. “I understand. I mean, I can’t imagine you came to Abingdon expecting something like this to happen. This thing between you and me.”
“No I wasn’t. This was a complete surprise to me, but a good one. When you asked me if there was a chance at us having a relationship back on our first date, I told you it wasn’t a good idea. Even though you understood those reasons, I knew you were still disappointed.”
Jace nodded in agreement. “I remember. Yeah, I was upset, but in the end it kind of helped me to finally breakdown my walls and let myself fall apart.”
“Yes, but the truth was that even then, I was finding myself taking an interest of you.”
“What?” Jace gasped in surprise.
I squeezed his hand tighter in mine. “I was attracted to you from the very beginning, and to be honest it terrified me. The reasons I gave you when you asked about a relationship were things I kept trying to repeat to myself. That you were Riley’s son. That it was inappropriate to think of you that way. That it would cause problems between us.
“But even as I believed those things, I still couldn’t deny my feelings for you. I couldn’t look past the pain you were in. I wanted to know the beautiful blond-haired man who seemed only to want to work himself to death as if nothing else in life mattered. I wanted to know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. I wanted to bring back the man he once was. I wanted to kiss the pain he felt away and to know what he felt like in my arms. And in the mix of all that, I found myself wanting to be with you, Jace.”
I noticed as I was talking to Jace, his eyes sparkled with joy and I kissed him everywhere. His nose, his cheek, his ears, his forehead, and lastly his lips. Jace sucked in a breath and tried to compose himself, but I could see my words were overwhelming. That made two of us because something was nagging at me in the back of my head telling me that there was more I wanted to say. I didn’t know what it was, but I had a sneaking suspicion.
“I don’t know what to say,” Jace whispered.
I smiled and kissed his lips before I said, “How about saying yes when I ask you to be my boyfriend?”
Jace froze. “Wait, are you asking me now?”
At first I wasn’t, but after hearing what I was saying to Jace out loud, I realized that it was exactly what I wanted. But there was something I needed to be sure of first.
“That depends. There is something important we need to discuss on that matter.”
“Which is?” Jace asked.
“What do we do once it’s time for me to leave Abingdon? I’ve seen others break up and lose touch because of long distance, Bluejay. I don’t want that happening to us.”
“That won’t happen to us,” Jace whispered with a smile. “I want to be with you, Gerard. When it’s time for you to leave, sure it’ll be difficult watching you go, but as long as we keep communicating I’m sure we will be okay. We could also make plans to visit one another.”
“Are you sure? This won’t be easy?”
Jace let go of my hands only to wrap them around my neck as he jumped up on me. I saw the move coming and had both arms around him to hold him up. Jace’s legs went around my waist, and his head rested in the crook of my neck. He began placing kisses anywhere he could reach, and I placed a single one on his temple. “Nothing worth having is ever easy, but I’m willing to do the work.”
And just when I thought Jace couldn’t do more to make himself more beautiful as a person, he proved me wrong. He wanted to be with me knowing fully what to expect. Yet his feelings didn’t waver. If anything, I think it made him more determined to show that he was all in. If this young man was willing to look past the obstacles, then I owed it to him and myself to try doing the same.
“Will you be my boyfriend?” I finally asked, and my heart fluttered with revelation.
I could tell Jace was caught off guard. His eyes widened and his jaw slightly opened, but when my words sank in, the widest smile I’d ever seen on him formed.
“Really?” Jace asked in a cracked voice.
“Yes, really.”
Jace tightened his arms around my neck and I chuckled, holding him for dear life. God, he felt so good in my arms. His scent of soap, and mint, and him wafted into my nostrils. His golden strands rubbing against my beard. His heated breath on my neck.
“Is that a yes?” I asked
“A thousand times yes,” Jace cried out giddy with excitement.
I twirled Jace around in celebration. His laugh was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. I could never get enough of it. Once I settled him back down on his feet, I took his hand again as we continued walking down the trail. Jace was in such a good mood that he curled himself around my arm snuggling up close. Something must’ve crossed his mind because his forehead creased and his eyes wandered. That caused me to worry.
“Baby?” I called to Jace. “What is it?”
Jace shook his head. “Nothing.”
“No, it’s something. What’s wrong?”
Jace looked up at me torn between telling me what was on his mind and keeping it to himself. “We just got together. I don’t want to ruin it.”
“Hey,” I said stepping in front of Jace. “Nothing you say would ever ruin this. You’ve already opened up so much to me
. Don’t freeze up on me now.”
“Okay,” Jace surrendered. “I know we just talked about keeping communications open and making plans to visit after you leave, but would you ever consider living here? I mean, I really don’t want to leave this place, but if you want to stay in Tampa, I could move there. I mean, I know it’s still early, but—"
I stopped Jace’s rambling with a kiss which he seemed to accept willingly. When I felt him calm down some, I pressed my forehead against his and breathed him in.
“I’m not sure what I’m going to do about that,” I whispered. “But I would never take you away from here, Bluejay. This is where you belong. If we get to that point in our relationship, I’d like to move down here.”
“You mean it?” he asked in a shaky breath.
I nodded. “If you’ll have me that is. I could get my own place, or I could move in with you and Desiree. I know that house means a lot to you. It’s your childhood home afterall.”
“You’d really move in with me?”
“Of course.”
Jace’s face morphed into one of mischief, and I knew he was about to get mouthy with me. “I suppose I could handle you staying under the same roof as me. I mean, you’re not getting any younger so you’ll need someone to look after you.”
Did that little shit call me old? “Is that right?”
Jace had on a shit-eating grin as he tried his best not to laugh. “Well, duh. I mean you’re getting closer to turning gray, and then you’ll start to slow down and wither away. So, you’ll need someone young to keep you going.”
I began prowling toward the mouthy little twerp, who began walking backward. “Nice to know I’m such a geezer.”
Jace’s body shook as his laughter threatened to burst out of him. “No problem, Gramps.”
That did it. I began running after Jace, and he tried to keep away from me. It didn’t work. I was more fit and active, and Jace didn’t stand a chance. I arched forward and grabbed him by his waist turning him around until I had him over my shoulder in a fireman’s hold.
“Put me down!” Jace cried out in between cackles.
