Damien wrinkled his brow, and Leigh spoke up. ‘Weather looks like clearing by Monday, Damo.’ He winked at Fiona. ‘You’ll be right to come and play footy on Saturday and still not miss any good spraying weather.’
Laughing good-naturedly, Damien shot Leigh a look. ‘You just want to make sure we win on Saturday. Are you sure you’ve checked that forecast properly?’
‘Never muck around with a weather forecast!’
Damien turned to Fiona. ‘How about I check the weather and get back to you? I just saw a clear time to get the tractor here and get a ride home, so I’ll give you a ring and let you know. Where’s the chemical?’
Fiona showed him the storage room and said she would pick up the extra drums she needed when she was in town next.
‘Good-oh. I’ll ring you.’
‘Now, the other thing I had to talk to you about was, are you able to take me on as a long-term client? Harvesting, seeding and spraying? I can drive the chaser bin for you, over harvest …’ She stopped when she saw the strange look on his face. ‘What? Are you already booked up?’
‘Nup, but I thought you were selling. I’d heard you were just finishing off the season then shooting through.’
‘That would include finishing harvest,’ Leigh said, pointing out the obvious.
‘What? Where’d you hear that from?’ Fiona spoke over the top of Leigh.
‘Don’t even go there, mate,’ Leigh advised. ‘You’ll get your head bitten off.’
‘Must have been gossip. Sorry.’
‘But who told you that?’ Fiona was bewildered.
‘Fee, you know how everyone loves to talk. Someone will have made something up or pretended they knew what you were going to do and everyone else will have jumped on board. It’s a small country town. What do you expect?’
Fiona stared at the ground, stunned there could be such rumours around when she thought she’d made it as clear as she could that she wasn’t going anywhere.
‘Changing the subject,’ Leigh said, as he and Damien loaded themselves into the ute. ‘Are you coming to the footy on Saturday? It’s my match.’
‘I know, I’ll be there.’ She tapped the roof of the ute and said goodbye. Watching them drive away, she put her hand to her stomach and patted it. ‘What’s up in there, Hamish?’ she asked quietly. ‘You’re feeling a little weird.’
Chapter 13
The silence in the car was deafening as Dave and Kim drove towards Adelaide. They’d tried to make small talk for a while, but it was too hard. Instead, they held hands. Dave had one hand on the steering wheel and Kim’s tucked in the other.
They’d agreed the night before that they would face together whatever came. Kim wouldn’t shut Dave out, and he would try to be as open as he could with his feelings.
The traffic started to pick up as they hit the Port Wakefield highway. Kim’s breathing became a little faster and shallower. The fear sat in her stomach like a heavy stone.
When they finally pulled into the parking area next to the specialist’s rooms, she found she couldn’t get herself out of the car. It were as if she was glued to the seat.
‘This is bloody ridiculous,’ she said. ‘Yes, I’m scared, but I’m stronger than this.’
Dave rounded the side of the car and took her face in his hands. ‘You can’t change the direction of the wind, but you can adjust your sails to reach your destination,’ he said in a soft voice.
Kim looked at him. ‘Where did you find that?’ she asked.
Grinning, he pulled her from the car. ‘Last night. On Google. I was looking for inspirational quotes. I wanted to be able to say something positive when there wasn’t anything positive to say!’
‘I’m impressed. And tell me,’ she said with a small glimmer of her normal personality, ‘who said it?’
‘You think I don’t know!’
‘Do you?’ She shrugged her handbag over her shoulder and kissed him as a lazy, frigid breeze rustled the leaves of the trees that had grown up in the middle of the cement footpath. Cars dashed by in both directions and Kim had an odd thought. How many people she didn’t even know existed were about to go through the same experience as she was? How many of these people were driving past her right now?
‘I do, actually.’ He raised an eyebrow at her. ‘The one and only … Jimmy Dean.’
Kim kept walking, looking at the ground, but a grin crossed her face. ‘Is that right? You’ve surprised me.’
‘Glad I can still do that. Come on. Here we are.’ He indicated the door of an historic building.
Kim straightened and blinked, willing herself to be brave. It was then that she saw it. ‘Look, Dave,’ she breathed, reaching up to trace the outline of the stained glass that framed the door. ‘Galahs. My favourite.’
‘Must be a good sign.’ He pushed the door and held it wide open for her.
The quietness of the room was what hit Kim first. Footsteps muffled by thick carpet, and the hushed tones of the receptionist sitting behind the desk. They must see some dreadfully sad things, she thought. But then again, there must be some beautiful times, when the results are negative, too. That could still be me, the fighting part of her said.
Kim had lain awake many nights wondering if the results could indeed be negative. If Dave’s comment, that it might be a cyst, would be right. All these ‘what if’ questions haunted her.
She knew she had to hold onto hope, but in the end she’d decided it was better to be prepared for the worst. Besides, there was no point in worrying. She couldn’t change what was about to happen.
After Kim had filled out the appropriate forms, they finally sat down and stared at each other. There were other women in the room; two had companions and one didn’t. Kim felt an overwhelming need to reach out to the woman sitting there by herself, and talk to her, but everyone else was avoiding eye contact by staring at their phones, magazines or just the floor.
Dave squeezed her hand and she knew he’d picked up on the fact that not one person who was holding a magazine was actually reading it. Indeed, the man to her right was holding a copy of National Geographic upside down!
Opening her mouth, Kim went to speak to the lady on her own, but the door swung open and everyone turned towards the doctor.
‘Kim.’ The kindly looking woman stared straight at her and Kim felt her stomach drop. This was it. There was no turning back. She rose, sensing Dave beside her, and walked towards the surgery door.
Once they were inside, the doctor introduced herself.
‘Hi! Nice to meet you both. I’m Stephanie Harper.’
Shaking hands, Stephanie indicated for them to take a seat. There was a peaceful feeling about the room and Kim half wanted to stop and take it in. The other half of her needed the doctor to talk as quickly as she could, giving her the results so they could get on with treating the problem.
‘So, Kim, your mammogram shows there is a bit of shading in this area of the breast.’ She gestured at a diagram on the wall. ‘What I’d like to do today is an ultrasound of the whole breast and a biopsy of the troublesome part.’
Kim nodded.
‘We’ll start with the ultrasound—you won’t feel anything odd while having that. I see from your notes that you haven’t had children, but it’s exactly the same type of thing that pregnant women have. Have you ever had one before?’
‘No.’
‘All I’m going to do is squeeze a bit of gel onto your breast …’ She went on to explain everything, then asked Kim to go behind the curtain screening the examination area and get changed.
Kim could hear Stephanie washing her hands and getting ready. She swallowed hard, determined not to show any type of weakness. She was resilient and would deal with whatever she was told.
‘Have you driven down to Adelaide today?’ Stephanie asked, as she swished the curtain out of the way.
Kim answered in the affirmative as she settled herself on the examination table and looked around the room. On one wall there was a large phot
o of a peaceful-looking seascape, and on another there was one of a thick-trunked gum tree next to a stony creek. Kim could see the galahs in its branches. It made her feel so at home.
‘The photos you have here are beautiful,’ Kim commented. ‘Oh!’ She screwed up her eyes as the cold gel made contact with her breast. ‘Cold!’ she gasped.
‘Yes, sorry, I should have mentioned that. My brother took those photos. He’s a bit keen on photography. Loves getting out and exploring all parts of Australia and documenting it. That one there,’ she indicated the creek, ‘was taken up in the Flinders.’
Dave cleared his throat and mentioned that was where they were from. Stephanie wasn’t paying attention. A puzzled look crossed her face and Kim felt her push the transducer handle in a bit deeper.
The doctor looked back at the screen, moving the wand around a bit more. Pursing her lips, she applied more gel and stared hard at the moving images.
‘Sorry, I can’t …’ She broke off and leaned in towards the screen, slowly making circular motions. Then Stephanie did the same thing again from another angle, pushing harder and watching the black-and-white screen for longer. Then another angle, repeating the steps.
The butterflies Kim had managed to keep at bay since they’d entered the room returned with a vengeance. It took all her willpower not to ask what was wrong.
‘Bear with me a moment,’ Stephanie said, and picked up the notes on her desk. Kim could see she was reading intently.
To distract herself, Kim looked at the picture and tried to put herself in the creek. She would sit on rocks warmed by the sun and feel the warmth seep into her body. The gentle wind would caress her face and softly toss her hair. There would be galah cries and the rustle of leaves. If she was lucky she might see a wallaby sleeping underneath a bush.
‘Kim.’
It obviously wasn’t the first time Stephanie had said her name. Dragging herself back to reality, Kim took in her grave face and turned to Dave, reaching for his hand.
‘Kim, can I ask you to get dressed and go out into the waiting room? I just need to cross-check a couple of things with the lady who performed your mammogram, and with your doctor.’ She gave an encouraging smile. ‘Don’t worry. I know that’s easy for me to say, and I also know you’re desperate for news. This isn’t an unusual occurrence, just a bit of checking.’
‘For what?’ Kim blurted out.
Dave took charge. ‘Honey, she’ll tell us when she knows. There’s no point in jumping the gun and giving you information that isn’t right. Let’s just head out and wait.’ He helped her down from the bed and waited while she slipped her shirt back on.
Within minutes they were waiting once more.
A short time later, Stephanie called them back in.
As they sat down, she started to speak before either of them could ask anything.
‘Kim, I’m truly sorry you’ve had to go through this. Especially when it wasn’t necessary.’
Both Dave and Kim looked at her, not understanding.
‘What do you mean?’ Dave asked.
‘Your results have been mixed up with someone else’s. We’ve traced it back. I couldn’t find the lump when I was doing the ultrasound. There isn’t one there. You don’t have breast cancer.’
‘I don’t?’
‘No. You don’t.’ Reaching forward, Stephanie patted her hand. ‘It’s been a terrible mix-up.’
Euphoria flooded through Kim and she started to laugh. ‘But that’s wonderful!’ she said, then stopped. ‘Are you sure? How do you know? What if you’re wrong?’
‘I’m sure I’m right! There isn’t a lump. I can’t find one there at all.’ The doctor looked at her file, then back at Kim before closing it. ‘I hope I don’t have to see you back here again. It’s been nice to meet you, especially under these happier circumstances.’
‘So you mean we’ve been through this for nothing? All the angst and—’ Anger mixed with relief burst from Dave.
Kim put her hand on his arm. ‘Doesn’t matter,’ she interrupted. ‘Sweetie, it doesn’t matter. What matters is I don’t have cancer. What matters is we don’t have to feel like this anymore.’ She stood up, energised. Desperate to get out of this small room and live her life. Kim never wanted to be inside another hospital room or doctor’s surgery again.
Stephanie held the door open for them and shook both their hands as they left.
They tumbled out into the street, not saying anything, looking unsure and shell-shocked. Without warning, Dave picked her up and swung her around. ‘I don’t believe it! It’s bloody fantastic news! You’re right! It doesn’t matter.’ Kissing her soundly in front of the passing traffic, neither of them noticed when a couple of horns tooted. What mattered was they had each other, and Kim was well.
She put her hand on his arm. ‘But we should spare a thought for the other woman,’ she said softly. ‘Someone is about to go through exactly what we’ve just endured. And it’ll be worse, because she’s already been told she’s fine.’
That was a sobering thought.
The celebratory glass of wine turned into a bottle as they sat in a small bar overlooking the Torrens River. They hadn’t intended to stay in Adelaide overnight unless they were asked to, but needing a release and to just enjoy each other, they had splurged on a fancy hotel.
Kim had laughed lots—and loudly. Dave felt like he’d won the jackpot—the relief for both of them was immense. They were caught up in each other and nothing else mattered.
When they returned to their room and turned down the lights, Dave slowly undressed her, drinking in every detail of her body, her curves, her skin. He wanted to memorise the way she looked tonight, without any cares in the world. She was beautiful, and she was his.
Chapter 14
The oval was already surrounded by cars when Fiona and Jo pulled in. It looked as though the Leigh Bounter Match was just about to start, with the umpire standing in the middle of the oval, the footy above his head.
‘Going to miss the bounce-down,’ Jo observed as she searched for a place to park.
‘Look, there’s one.’ Fiona pointed to an empty space under a tree. Jo swung her ute in and they filed out, grabbing their chairs and eskies, before walking across to the oval. ‘Can’t believe it’s as nice a day as this. Leigh was so wrong about the weather not clearing until Monday.’
Even though the air was brisk, the sun was shining, and if they could find somewhere out of the wind, it should be reasonably warm. She pulled the scarf around her neck a bit tighter.
‘What about we set up next to the grandstand?’ Jo suggested, nodding to a couple of people who walked by. ‘We should be able to see from there.’
‘Fiona! Jo! Lovely to see you.’ Sylvia, Carly’s friend, waved out the window of a car.
Fiona, needing a rest, put down the chair.
‘Here, I’ll get us set up, you go and talk,’ Jo offered.
‘How are you holding up, love?’ Sylvia asked when she got a little closer.
‘I’m fine, how about you?’
‘No worries in my neck of the woods.’ Sylvia grinned, making her face look much younger than her sixty-five years. Her zest for life was more apparent than her grey hair and wrinkles. ‘I’ve been wanting to talk to you.’
‘Oh yeah, what about?’
‘I’ve heard you’re going to sell and I wanted to encourage you not to.’
Fiona’s jaw dropped as anger rushed through her. ‘Where did you hear that?’
‘Julie Pelly was talking about it at the hairdressers when I was in there the other day.’ She reached out a gnarled hand and grabbed Fiona’s tightly. ‘You can do this, love, you don’t need to sell.’ Encouragingly, she stared straight into Fiona’s eyes.
‘I know that, I’ve got no intention of selling.’ Frustrated, she extracted her hand and crossed her arms across her distended belly. ‘I’m going to have words to that Ian Tonkin. It must be him who started these rumours.’ She looked intently at Sylvia befor
e asking in a quieter tone, ‘Did you find it hard?’
‘Oh, love, farming isn’t easy whether it’s you by yourself or you’ve got your soulmate right by your side. There were days I wanted to pack it all in, for sure. There were times when the boys were crook and I’d been up with them all night, but still had to front up at the sheep yards to load a truck at five-thirty in the morning! I won’t lie to you. It won’t be easy. Especially with a new bub. I was lucky that my boys were older by the time my Davy, God rest his soul, passed away. They were a big help to me. But it was still hard work.’
The crowd gave a huge cheer as a goal was kicked. The footy landed just short of where Fiona was standing.
Leigh came out of the crowd, grabbed the footy and hand-balled it back to the umpire.
‘Was that us?’ Sylvia asked, before leaning on the horn to cheer the boys along.
Fiona giggled. ‘Nope, it was Laura’s goal!’
‘Whoops! Better not let Myles know that I beeped for the wrong team.’ A light laugh escaped the older woman as she mentioned her grandson’s name.
‘Did you get lonely?’ Fiona suddenly asked. Even though the circumstances were different, Sylvia had been through what she was feeling now.
‘I never had time to get lonely,’ she answered. ‘Actually, that probably isn’t quite true. There were times in the middle of the night when I felt so isolated and abandoned, my whole body would hurt. I used to go and curl up in one of the boys’ beds when that happened. But mostly I was too busy.’
‘Do you regret any of the decisions you made?’
Sylvia looked down at her hands. Fiona noticed she still wore her wedding rings, even though Davy must have been dead for nigh on thirty years. ‘One regret,’ she said. ‘Just one. There was a man, a long time ago now,’ her eyes softened with the memory, ‘not long after Davy died. It wasn’t the right time—the boys were still grieving and so was I. Told me he’d loved me for many years but could never say anything because I was married. Oh, we were great friends. Had been for a long time. Talk? Ha! Oh, we always had so much to say to each other. On the same wavelength, as it were. Both of us were as driven as the other. He would’ve taken the boys on, helped me run my farm and have me be part of his business. But it was too soon for me. I loved him—probably still do, but I couldn’t get past what everyone in the district would have thought. Him and I together so quickly after my Davy.’ Her voice faded and her face took on a faraway glaze, transporting her back to another time. She looked up and drew in a breath.
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