by Sarina Dorie
I shrugged. I had no problem with sharing. She watched me with heavy-lidded eyes, a sneaky smile on her face. I wondered why she really wanted that jar. She wasn’t going to use it to have sex with Thatch since they weren’t together, and she certainly didn’t need it for Elric since she wasn’t afraid of sexually transmitted infections or pregnancy.
But it did seem like an effective fire retardant. Although I was nervous about actually testing it out on myself.
I rubbed a dollop across my arm. It smelled like vanilla and springtime. The rainbows sank into my skin, tingling as it dried. I tried to create a fireball in my palm. Fire momentarily sparked before going out. I stared in confusion. I couldn’t tell if I was too tired, or I’d used too much energy.
“You idiot.” Vega cackled. “You just spread the fire-retarding magic over your palm and actually expect to be able to produce some paltry Elementia fire spell.” She aimed her wand at my skin.
I jerked away, which was a mistake, in hindsight. The flames she projected at my arm didn’t hurt me, but they did singe the desk where my arm had been.
Vega snapped her fingers, and the flames snuffed out. I smoothed my fingers over my skin. It was cool and undamaged. My skin felt softer than before, like baby skin. Her ward did work.
“Wow,” I said. I didn’t know if it was an illusion of glamour or part of the magic, but my freckles had disappeared. I dabbed at the bottle and rubbed more over my arm, covering a chicken pox scar. The round edge of the scar melted away.
“Is this a healing spell as well?” I asked. “I think it’s making my freckles go away. How long will it last?”
“For your sake, I wish it would last forever.” Vega grimaced at me. “But you’ll be lucky if you get a day out of it with each application.”
I admired my unblemished skin. This was a miracle tonic. “Do you think my scars are going to come back, then?”
“Ready for the real test?” Vega asked, an eyebrow lifted, her smile hinting at mischief. “How about some real fire? Flames of seraphim? We want to make sure it withstands true heat, not just paltry Elementia magic.”
From the eagerness in Vega’s eyes, I wondered if this was going to be some kind of test of practicality—like not allowing your wicked roommate to set you on fire.
“Thanks,” I said. “I’ll wait until later.”
“How will you convince Felix Thatch it’s safe if you haven’t tested it properly?”
She had a point, but that look in her eyes told me not to trust her. She aimed her wand at my arm again. I shook my head.
Blue fire shot out, but as it danced over my skin, it only tickled. It didn’t hurt. She grabbed my arm and lifted it to inspect it.
“I am truly brilliant, aren’t I?” She cackled in delight.
Perhaps the sparkle in her eye had simply been pride at doing a job well.
“When will you next have one of your secret rendezvous with Felix Thatch?” Vega asked.
“We don’t have any secret rendezvous anymore. Only appointments and tutoring sessions.” From the clock on the wall, I’d missed my lesson by half an hour. If I applied the fire-retardant ward now and then went to see him, we could test it out. I could show him on my arm and prove to him it was safe. We would finally be able to have sex like a normal couple.
A thrill of excitement percolated inside me.
“I think I’m just going to. . . .” I jerked a thumb at the changing screen in the corner.
“Of course you are, you horndog.” There was that spark in her eyes again, amused and satisfied.
Now that Vega’s heart and soul were repaired from her past hurts, it was possible Vega and I could finally be friends. Perhaps she would warm up to the idea of being nice and accepting love into her life. Though I didn’t know if that would be from Elric.
I ducked behind the changing screen with one of the bottles. I draped my apron over the top of the screen, then removed my shoes, leggings, and panties from underneath my skirt, uncertain whether the potion would stain if it dripped on the fabric.
The potion tingled pleasantly against my skin. I applied a liberal coating to my inner thighs and every part in between. I tried to scoop enough onto my fingers to shove it inside me, but the liquid wasn’t thick enough to stay put. Even so, it tingled inside me, filling me with a pleasant chill.
“How do you think I can get enough inside me so his flames don’t burn through me?” I asked.
“You won’t need much. I have a feeling you’ll know if it’s working before you even get to that point.”
I closed my eyes, savoring the shift from cold to warmth. I could tell it was doing something. The perfume of vanilla and spring meadows intensified, the scent so thick I could barely breathe. I was hyper aware of the slippery sensation between my legs. Maybe in addition to being a healing lotion and ward it was also an aphrodisiac. I clamped my knees together, trying to keep breathing steadily as the liquid dried. The moment it was, I planned on sprinting to the dungeon.
Vega’s voice came from beyond the screen, sounding like she stood between the wardrobes at the mirror.
“I knew the unicorn seed would give the ward regenerative properties, a perfect blend of preventive healing for what I intended. And it doubles as an excellent wrinkle-erasing cream.” Each word Vega uttered came out slow and measured. There was something chilling in her tone.
I peeked out to take in her expression. She admired herself in the mirror, smoothing a finger around her eyes. Her lips curled upward when she caught my reflection. I didn’t like that haughty superiority in her eyes.
The warmth inside me shifted to heat. I hadn’t felt this on my arm.
I had a bad feeling about trusting Vega. “I think the ward doesn’t like vaginal fluids.”
“It won’t hurt you, and it won’t take much longer to . . . protect you. Later, you’ll thank me for this.” It wasn’t cruelty in her eyes, but satisfaction.
I touched my fingers between my legs. My skin was as smooth as a Barbie doll without a hint of female genitals.
I screamed.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
The Magical Disappearing Vagina
Frantically, I probed myself, praying I had been mistaken. Maybe it was a glamour. A joke.
I was about as anatomically correct as a Barbie doll. Instead of the usual feminine parts I’d come to appreciate, and at times curse, I found a smooth surface of skin below my pubic hair, everything sealed inside.
My heart pounded in my ears, so loud I could barely hear myself speak. “It’s gone! What have you done to me?”
Vega turned from the mirror, placing a hand on her chest in mock innocence. “What’s gone?”
My voice sounded shrill with panic. “Everything. My vagina and the labia and clitoris. The spell took it all away. You knew it would do this, didn’t you?” I exited from behind the changing screen, not bothering to pull on my panties or leggings under my skirt as I suspected I was going to need to apply some kind of new remedy.
Vega fell back onto her bed, laughing. “You were the one who wanted to protect yourself from Felix Thatch. What do they say? The best prevention is abstinence.”
“This isn’t funny. You’ve got to help me. Isn’t there an undo button or something?” I snatched up the directions from the desk, searching for a solution. The spell she’d used the time she’d sealed my mouth closed had included an easy way for removing it. All I would have had to do was splash water on my face—or would have if Josie hadn’t complicated the magic.
“Is it true what they say? Absence makes the heart grow fonder? Or in your case, ‘abstinence’.” She laughed harder.
I stood on her bed to reach the spell books on the shelf above it, scooping them up in my arms in the hope of finding something useful. None of the spells were for undoing wards. No luck there. The index of the potions tome wasn’t any better. My frustration and horror gave way to panic. My eyes filled with tears. There had to be some w
ay to fix this.
A knock came at the door. Felix Thatch’s voice came from the other side. “You missed our appointment. Please say you haven’t gotten distracted doing something you shouldn’t be in there as my divination suggests is the case.”
His divination? More like his pessimism. Why did he assume I had done something I shouldn’t have? I had been trying to do something good and helpful for him.
Vega flashed a wicked smile. I shook my head at her. She threw the door back, cackling maniacally. “You won’t believe what kind of idiot thing this fucktard has done with herself this time.”
His gaze flickered to me, the corners of his mouth turned down in irritation. He waited at the door, hesitant to enter as always. More than ever I wished he hadn’t felt the need to follow every school rule.
Vega lazily leaned back against the headboard of her bed.
Dark mirth filled her body. She might have looked languid, but her muscles were tense, ready to spring at any moment. Satisfaction flavored the air around her, the bitter scent of cyanide mingling with the sweeter scent of apples. I couldn’t control her or read her mind, only sense the revenge in her coming from a long chain of hurts. I suspected that revenge was directed at me, but it might have been at him.
And here I thought I had healed her, and we were now friends.
Thatch cleared his throat. “Miss Lawrence, you seem to be in a state of . . . agitation.”
Agitation was one way to put it. I was so freaked I could barely breathe.
His gaze flickered to the bottled rainbows and the cauldron still on the desk. He eyed my underwear and striped leggings on the floor that I must have kicked out from behind the dressing screen.
Vega snorted. “You can drop the formalities with the ‘Miss Lawrence this’ and ‘Miss Lawrence that.’ I already know Clarissa is your special fuck buddy.”
Thatch’s words came out coolly, the heat of anger just below the surface. “Why must you use that horrible term?”
I didn’t want Vega to derail him. I blurted out. “My vagina is gone!”
Vega stuck her nose up in the air. “Consider it a favor. It will prevent the principal and dean from finding out about the two of you as there will now be nothing to find out about. No one will have any reason to feel offended by what you’ve been doing.”
Something about the way she said ‘offended’ made me wonder whom she was talking about. But I was too concerned about getting my vagina back to think of anything else.
“Merlin’s balls.” A flash of horror flickered across Thatch’s face. He glided past the threshold, closing the door quietly behind him. “Vega, what have you done?”
She smiled.
Thatch looked from Vega to me. “What do you mean, your ‘vagina is gone’? Where has it gone to?”
“I don’t know.” My voice came out in a tremulous whimper. “It disappeared after I used the ward Vega and I made together. I thought it was going to help things.”
Thatch strode past me to the desk. “Help?” He uncorked a bottle and sniffed. “How would this be helpful?”
“It’s a fire retardant.” Vega lifted an eyebrow.
He whirled, fury vivid in his eyes. Already I could feel the danger building in him.
“I didn’t tell her,” I said quickly. “Gertrude Periwinkle did.”
“What?” he asked.
Vega eyed one of the books I’d left open, closing it with an air of finality. “Gertrude paid me to create a spell for her. You know the one—it was a three-person spell.” She inclined her head, her lips twitching in amusement. “It happens I made a few modifications to make it a two-person spell. I knew there would be some interesting bonuses.”
Thatch drew his wand and waved it in front of me. Pale blue light sparked and popped in front of my abdomen, sinking inside me. My affinity pulsed in response to his magic.
“Oh no.” His brow creased. “I see.”
“It was a logical choice,” Vega said. “I trust you’re intelligent enough to see that. No Fae will want Clarissa if she doesn’t have any sex organs. She can’t bear anyone’s child.”
I hugged my arms around myself. “You stole my uterus and ovaries?”
Vega tilted her head to the side, studying me. “Elric won’t want you anymore. The Raven Court won’t be able to use you to pop out babies, nor will the Silver Court or any other.”
I finally understood that satisfaction in her eyes. In her misguided way, Vega actually thought she was being helpful. The only thing more dangerous than being enemies with Vega was being friends with her.
“They’ll leave Clarissa alone now. All of them.” Vega picked up a magazine and curled her legs underneath her.
I wondered if that included my most recent enemy, the Princess of Lies and Truth. Is that who the vengeance in her was directed at? Not me?
“It isn’t that simple,” Thatch said.
“No? Then explain it to me,” Vega said.
Thatch made a dismissive wave with his hand and snorted as if she wasn’t worth the bother of talking to. He took me by the shoulders. “You need to come with me to Nurse Hilda.”
“No. I don’t want her to know about this. This is embarrassing enough. Plus, she’ll give me some elixir with bat dung in it, and I’ll grow an elbow or an ear instead of all my female parts.”
Thatch scanned the spell on the desk. “It’s going to take hours to undo this.”
“I can’t wait hours.” I had already been working on this spell for hours. “I have to pee.”
He sighed in exasperation. “Of course you do.”
“Can you fix me?” I asked.
He took my hand in his. His eyes were disappointed. That cut me deeper than Vega’s laugh.
Softly, tiredly, he asked, “Why would you let Vega convince you this was a good idea?”
It had actually been the other way around—only I hadn’t expected Vega’s altruistic side to suddenly show itself. “Because I wanted you to be able to come inside me.” Duh.
His face flushed red. He looked to Vega. “Out.”
Vega lifted her chin. “This is my room. I’m not leaving. You two can go down to the dungeon to—”
He flicked his wand at her, and the door burst open. A gust of wind tossed her out of her bed. She crawled on the floor and grabbed onto a bedpost, but she was no match for the gale of wind. She slid into the wall and rolled ungracefully out of the room. The door slammed closed and locked.
She pounded on the door and shouted. “You let me in this instant, you dickwad!”
Thatch twisted his hand into the air, light sparkling between his fingers. The thuds silenced.
He turned back to me, breathing heavily. His silence was worse than if he had yelled at me. But he rarely yelled about anything.
“I’m sorry,” I said. “I know I shouldn’t have trusted her. But I thought things were going to be different between Vega and me because of the favors she owed me and because I healed her soul. I thought we could be friends, and she wanted to do something nice.”
He lifted Vega’s spell, ignoring me as he crumpled it up. The quiet anger stewing inside him was unbearable. My ears rang in the silence. With a sweep of his arm, he dashed all the bottles onto the ground. I leapt back. Glass shattered onto the floor, and the liquid rainbows splattered onto my bare legs.
A sea of broken glass and shattered dreams divided us. I edged away from him, uncertain what he would do next. A sharp shard stabbed into one of my bare feet.
“You often ask me why I don’t tell you the truth. This is why.” He waved a hand at my abdomen. He tried to keep from yelling, but a tempest of emotion vibrated in his tone. “Without consulting me, you took it upon yourself to try to solve problems that don’t concern you.”
“They do concern me. Do you think it doesn’t affect me that you can’t have an orgasm inside me?”
“I am perfectly satisfied with our current arrangement. Every time we have bee
n together sexually I have satisfied you. Isn’t that enough?”
“Do you think I think, ‘Well, I guess that’s fine so long as I get my happy ending tonight.’ How is that not going to make you resent me?”
“I told you it didn’t bother me. I would rather not risk hurting you in the process. I didn’t tell you about my problem as an invitation for you to do something foolish like trust Vega Bloodmire.”
“Well, I had to do something.”
“No, you didn’t. It was my problem to solve.”
“Is everything for you to solve? You cut me out of everything. Just like some mystery Fae who wants to kill me is your problem to solve, not mine? How can I protect myself if you don’t give me all the information I need in order to do so? You make snide comments about my fairy godmother sheltering me from the ugly truths of this world and keeping me from the information I needed to know about all the big, bad everything in the Unseen Realm. How are you any different? You don’t tell me the truth about anything. You even manipulate my affinity against me by hugging me and making me complacent if I disagree with you. I have to sneak around behind your back to find out the truth because you treat me like a child. So you know what? Yeah, I have to act like a child because that’s what you give me to work with.”
His lips pressed into a line.
I lifted my chin. “If I didn’t sneak around and do what needs to be done, you and Gertrude Periwinkle would be dead or imprisoned.”
His shoes crunched on the broken glass as he closed the distance between us. I skittered back, wincing as I jabbed my foot into another sharp shard of glass. He closed his arms around me.
He sighed into my hair. “It’s a wonder you put up with me at all.”
I lifted my head to take in his weary expression. The storm had blown over, the gray of his eyes as sorrowful as rain clouds.
“Is that the closest you get to apologies?” I asked.
“No, I can get closer when I want.” His lips twitched, a smile battling to dominate his lips.
