“And if I don’t come back?” Charles uttered in a pitiful tone.
“I’m not even gonna think about that because it’s not gonna happen.”
Charles’s social worker and his attorney came up and said it was time for him to go inside, but as he walked up the steps, he kept looking back toward Olive with puppy-dog eyes. As strong as he was, she could clearly see his fear. When he was out of her sight, she started shaking uncontrollably.
“Oh no, we not havin’ any of that,” Olive heard Willow’s loud voice say as she put one arm under Olive’s while Sanaa took Olive’s other arm.
Olive was happy to see them. She hoped their other friends, Pia Alvarez and Octavia Streeter, were on their way too. She needed all her new buddies there for moral support.
“That’s right. We’re getting you through this day,” Sanaa said.
“I can’t believe y’all showed up.”
“We can go if you don’t want us here,” Willow said.
Olive replied, “No, I want y’all here.”
Sanaa smiled and said, “Pia couldn’t come, but Octavia’s over there talking to Shawn.”
“Shawn’s so angry at me,” Olive said. Shawn was Olive’s foster brother in the group home. Just a few weeks ago, Shawn had taken a bullet that was meant for Charles. The two boys were very close.
“What do you mean?” Sanaa asked.
Olive hung her head and explained, “Because if I wouldn’t have been involved with Tiger, none of the rest of this would be happening.” Olive had dated the gang leader before she fell for Charles.
“Yeah, but you didn’t make Charles try to get even with him,” Sanaa pointed out.
“No, but I could’ve dismissed his advances when he smiled my way. As hard as I tried to keep him away, I let him in.”
“Yeah, but you’re acting like it’s your fault that Charles has fallen so hard for you,” Willow said.
“You guys don’t understand. You all have parents who love you. Love is something you never wanna lose. Charles will do just about anything to keep it, and that’s why my relationship with Charles is about to cost him everything.”
Octavia came from the top of the stairs. “Come on, you guys. It’s about to start,” she said.
“How she get inside already?” Willow asked as she shook her head.
About an hour later, the judge was hearing Charles’s case. The bailiff said, “Please rise as the Honorable Judge Walter Reinhold enters the court.”
Olive felt her stomach drop as she stood. The judge tapped his desk with the gavel and told them all they could be seated. Olive looked around the courtroom. Shawn and Octavia sat nearby, but Shawn wouldn’t even look at Olive. Ms. B, the woman who ran the group home where Olive, Charles, and Shawn lived, was also in the courtroom.
Olive truly wished all of this was a dream. She did not like the snarly look Judge Reinhold gave Charles as he peered over the bench, looked over his glasses, and stared hard. Olive knew the bold glare wasn’t a good thing.
With a stern face, the judge said, “Mr. Charles Moe, I cannot believe you are in my courtroom again. What did I tell you last time, son, when you were in here for petty theft?”
Charles said, “That if I ever came before you again, Judge, you would make me regret it.”
“And do you think the judge is a man of his word?” Judge Reinhold asked.
Charles nodded.
“Excuse me?” the judge said.
Charles spoke up. “Yes, sir. I do think you’re a man of your word.”
“Good, because I am.”
The attorney said, “Your Honor, if I may speak on his behalf—”
Suddenly, the attorney representing the two younger kids in the group home said, “Your Honor, if I may. While the defendant might be remorseful, he’s jeopardized the lives of my clients and needs to be removed from the home.”
Charles’s attorney said, “But Your Honor—”
Then Judge Reinhold banged the gavel several times. “Order in this court. I don’t need anybody to talk to me. We had a deal. Mr. Moe said he was clear on it, then he violated it. He made his choice, and now it’s time for me to make my ruling. Charles you are hereby to be removed from the group home, effective immediately. Alternate living arrangements will be provided for you.”
Ms. B wailed out, “Why?”
Shawn jumped to his feet and shouted, “No!”
Charles was trying to hold it together and not break down. Though Olive couldn’t see his face, she knew his mannerisms. He was tearing up.
“No need in crying now, son,” Judge Reinhold said. Olive felt horrible. “Hopefully this will really be the game changer so that you get your life together and don’t screw it up for good. Have a great day. Court dismissed.”
Judge Reinhold tapped the gavel, everyone rose, and then he got up and walked out. Charles’s social worker got up and consoled him. His attorney placed his hand on Charles’s shoulder and apologized.
Charles looked at them both and said, “Can I have a second?”
Olive rushed up and hugged him tight. “We gotta be able to do something about this.”
“No. It’s done. Just go. I’m out,” Charles told her.
“You don’t have to leave today, do you?”
“I can’t even come back to the house. My stuff’s gotta be packed up and sent to me. They’re about to take me somewhere new. I’ll figure this whole thing out in just a second.”
“Oh my gosh, Charles baby, this is just awful!” Ms. B came over and said.
Unable to bear it any longer, Olive dashed out into the hallway. Willow, Sanaa, and Octavia followed.
“Y’all, this is all my fault!” Olive exclaimed. “I just knew it was gonna turn out like this. But he can’t come back to the group home—the only home he’s ever really had. Oh my gosh.”
“Charles is gonna be fine,” Sanaa said. “I know it might not seem like it now, but he’s gonna figure this out. It’s not your fault.”
“Yeah,” Octavia said. “He was just doing what was in his heart.”
“How am I gonna get through this?”
“We’re gonna be here for you,” Willow said.
“Yeah, you not in this alone,” Sanaa told her.
“Anything you need, you just ask,” Octavia replied.
And while Olive’s world turned upside down and her heart broke into a million pieces, she was able to find a bit of joy because each of her new friends was an encourager.
CHAPTER FOUR
Shocker (Octavia’s Beginning)
“You!” Shawn screamed as he dashed out of the courthouse and caught up to Olive. He had his finger pointed in her face. His eyes were bloodshot, and his face held such intense anger. “Look what you’ve done to our brother. I could...”
Octavia was trying to hold him back. She wasn’t succeeding. She knew he was going to blow up, but she didn’t think it was going to be this bad between him and Olive. She had to keep trying to get through to him.
“Just settle down,” Octavia said, trying to rationalize with Shawn.
Olive yelled, “Nah, Octavia, step out of his way! He’s got something to say to me, let him say it!”
“You darn right I got something to say to you! What? You don’t think any of this is your fault?” Shawn looked at Olive with hate. He paused and then said, “But you know what? Maybe that’s right, because ALL of this is your fault!”
Olive didn’t flinch. “You can’t make me feel no worse than I already do. What? What else you wanna say, Shawn? What you wanna do to me? How am I going to live with myself, knowing Charles has gotta move out of our house? If I wasn’t fooling with Tiger in the first place, none of this would have ever happened. I know! I’m the reason why Charles is leaving now. If I could move out instead of him, I would.”
Shawn snarled, “But you can’t, so don’t go givin’ me no sob stories.”
“Okay, Shawn,” Octavia said, trying to pull him back. “Just calm down. You see she feels b
ad.”
“Why don’t you get outta my way!” he said as he pushed Octavia really hard.
Octavia was thrown up against the wall of the courthouse building, and she was hurt. Not only physically, but emotionally. Shawn was her boo, but now he was discarding her.
“Oh heck naw! I know you ain’t gon’ just throw my girl against the daggone building!” Willow yelled at Shawn.
Shawn quickly rushed over to Octavia apologetically. It certainly wasn’t like Octavia didn’t understand that he was really stressed out. She did, but her head really hurt, and she didn’t think it was right for Shawn to push her, no matter what he was going through.
Upset, Shawn voiced, “Dang, I was trying to say I’m sorry. You know I ain’t mean to do that.”
“You just need to take your hot head on somewhere,” Willow said.
Shawn looked at Octavia and replied, “Oh, it’s like that, Octavia? You gon’ let your friends come in between us like this? Well, whatever.”
“No!” Octavia finally said, but Shawn put up his hands and stormed out of the courthouse.
“Let him go,” Willow told her, holding her back so that she couldn’t follow after him.
Octavia felt trapped between a rock and a hard place. She’d never had friends before. Unlike the other girls, who had no clue who put them on the swoop list, she knew exactly who put her there, and it wasn’t like she could be mad at that person. Why? Because it was herself. She’d had the ingenious idea that the way to get popular was to have people talking about her. She’d thought that even if people were talking about her in a negative way, it was a good thing—until she was actually in that situation. She had quickly realized the harsh accusations, mean words, and disturbing looks were much more than she’d bargained for. But it did put her in a new group of girls who were in similar situations. They were all ostracized at school. They now had that in common and thus formed a unique sisterhood, and now they were at her side.
Not only did Octavia gain good girlfriends, she also connected with a guy who was falling for her—Shawn. Nonetheless, she hated that he was mad at Olive. Octavia was torn between following the guy or following her friend. Living in the group home together, Olive and Shawn were supposed to be like brother and sister. And although Olive was black and Shawn was white, like Octavia, color didn’t matter, except the red blood of hatred.
Willow whispered, “I’m telling you, Octavia. I know you like him, but he just pushed you up against a wall. And right now, he’s mad at our girl. So he needs to calm his little self down and apologize to both of you guys. Don’t run up after him. And I’m just telling you what I know. You said you were new to the whole love thing. Let me school you. Don’t let a jerk know you’ll take anything.”
Olive ran over to Octavia and said, “I’m so sorry. Are you okay? He’s mad at me. He shouldn’t have pushed you.”
“Well, I don’t want him to hit you either,” Octavia admitted.
“He better be happy he just got out of the hospital a couple of weeks ago,” Willow said, “or I would have punched him in the gut for pushing you like that.”
Charles came out of the courthouse with his social worker. Olive, Sanaa, and Willow walked up to him. That gave Octavia a chance to run to try and find Shawn.
She caught up with him when she spotted him around the corner. “There you are.”
“Leave me alone, Octavia. Go on with your girls.”
“How can I leave you alone? We’re building something special here, right?”
“You ask me that today when I’m too broken to build anything. I just found out my brother can’t even live with us no more, and I can’t even imagine how that feels. I see what you’re thinking. He’s not my blood, so why should I care, right?”
“That’s not what I’m thinking at all.”
“Yes it is. People don’t know Charles and I have been in and out of different group homes since we were in the second grade. For ten years, he’s had my back. I wasn’t always so tough. When people used to pick on me, he was right there, telling them they’d have to go through him to get to me. And when we’d get home, he’d beat me up. I didn’t know what was going on, but he told me it was for my own good. One day I got tired of him hitting me, and I hit him back, and he said that’s what he’d been waiting on. For me to get tough. Half the times he’s been in and out of juvie is because he’s covering my behind.”
“Really?” Octavia said, stunned at the depth of their relationship.
“He’d always say, ‘They wanna believe that the white boy’s good. Let me take the rap.’ And even when I fought him on it, a lot of the times he was right. People thought I was lying to cover for him and only locked him up. Crazy.”
“But you know Olive cares about him.”
“Please. Two months ago she was screwing half of Tiger’s gang. I know you said you’ve been a loner and you’re overwhelmed by all these people that all of a sudden care about you. Well, I’ma make it easier on you before we get too serious. Let’s just be through.”
Shawn walked away, leaving Octavia devastated. His news was a shocker.
CHAPTER FIVE
Tougher (Pia’s Beginning)
“So Charles has got to move out? Are you serious?” Pia said to Sanaa over the phone.
Sanaa answered into her cell, “Yeah, girl. It’s a mess. Olive is devastated, of course. Shawn is so angry at her.”
“I’ll reach out to Olive and Octavia. I know Octavia’s gotta be upset.”
“Yep, but I just don’t want her chasing behind some guy who feels like it’s okay to put his hands on her.”
Pia didn’t know how to respond to that. She was feeling some type of way about it. Her mom broke up with Jim because he punched her in the gut, and the new guy Pablo had been forcing her to drink, even though that probably wasn’t the right way to put it. Nobody could force Pia’s mom. But if she was already intoxicated, wasn’t it easy to get her to drink more? Pia was hoping she wouldn’t be like her mother. She also hoped her mom would get stronger, but she had no clue how to make that happen.
When Pia heard her mom wailing like she was in severe physical pain, Pia said, “Sanaa, I gotta go. Thanks for calling and telling me.”
“Well, you call me back if you need me,” Sanaa said before they hung up.
“Mami, what’s wrong?” Pia said when she found her mom with her head in the toilet and vomit coming out of her mouth.
“What’s wrong!?”
“I can’t do this anymore, Pia. I gotta get help. I am so depressed. I don’t have a job. I’m letting all these men use and abuse me so they can give me crumbs. Don’t be like me,” her mother blurted out.
Pia rocked her back and forth as if she was her mother, and her mother was her child. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“How can it be okay when I always want a drink? When I wake up in the morning, I want a drink. I go to bed at night, and I want a drink. For lunch, I want a drink. I’m an alcoholic, mi hija.”
Pia hadn’t known the depths to which her mom had clung to the bottle. Her mother had done such a great job at hiding it. She knew her mother was moody. Really happy one moment, then upset and frustrated the next. Also, over the last couple of weeks, Pia’s mom had accused Pia of drinking a couple of bottles when her mom found them empty in the morning after she’d passed out from drinking so much. Pia now realized her mom must have been so drunk the night before that she didn’t even remember chugging the whole bottle down. There was a serious problem.
“I feel like I wanna die,” her mom desperately exclaimed.
When Pia’s mom said that, Pia couldn’t hold back the tears that dropped from her eyes. It hadn’t even been two full months since Pia had considered ending her own life. She had been at the first swoop list slumber party, and she’d seen all this pain medicine in the medicine cabinet at Willow’s house. She had been about to try to overdose, but thanks to her friends stopping her, she lived to see another day.
Pia wanted to pass th
at same message of hope on to her mom. “You’re gonna be okay, Mami. You’re gonna make it. I can get you help.”
“How can you help me? I can’t even help myself. I’m not even in my right mind half the time, and I don’t know how to fix things. We’re gonna get evicted. I do what I do with these guys so we won’t be on the street, but I’m tired. They want you more than they want me. I didn’t even believe you at first when Jim came after you. If I’m not here, you won’t have me as a burden.”
“Mami, please don’t talk like that.” Pia started singing a song her mother used to sing to her when she was little, and it calmed her mom down.
Her mother swiftly fell asleep. Pia got up from the floor and grabbed a pillow and put it under her mom’s head. Then she went straight to her phone and dialed Ms. Davis, the school counselor.
“Hey, Pia,” Ms. Davis answered.
“I’m sorry for calling you out of the blue.”
“No problem. I know a lot’s been going on. I’ve already talked to Olive. Don’t you worry about it. Everything’s going to be okay.”
“No. This is personal. You were talking about getting me into a support group for people who’ve been raped and for girls who have felt suicidal,” Pia reminded her.
“That’s right.”
“Well, my mom needs a support group too. We can’t afford rehab. She admitted she’s an alcoholic, and I need to get her somewhere fast before she changes her mind about needing help. Can you help us?”
“Yeah, there’s a great shelter in Macon. Let me make some calls to see if they’ve got some room. If they do, I’ll call you over, and we’ll take your mom down there.”
“Thank you, Ms. Davis.”
“Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For being there for her. For coming around and understanding that therapy can be great.”
Pia just laughed, remembering a conversation when she gave Ms. Davis a hard time about joining any kind of support group. But now Pia realized the swoop list had been good for her. She needed to take things a step further in her own life so she could be even stronger, not just for her mom, but for herself. She needed to put the rape in perspective and figure out how she could survive the whole ordeal. The fact of the matter was that the criminals who raped her were still out there, and maybe it was her job to pursue prosecuting them before they did the same thing to someone else. But she also needed to help her mom. She remembered a time when she was in middle school when her mom was working an honest job and supporting them. Though it might have only been one or two years, they were extremely happy. Those days didn’t have to be gone forever.
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