Sage

by Shiloh Walker

  “Don’t go, Miguel,” she repeated. She sighed a little, snuggling closer to him. “I hadn’t realized…”

  Her voice trailed away, leaving Miguel frozen there for the longest time before he finally asked, “Realized what, baby?”

  The seconds ticked away and he didn’t think she was going to answer. When she did, the ache in his heart just spread. “How lonely I was.”

  * * * * *

  Kelly woke burning with humiliation.

  She hadn’t been awake—not exactly—but she sure as hell remembered what she had said. Lost in that place between dreaming and waking, she’d been aware. Just not in control.

  She lay on her side with her back to Miguel. A few hours had passed. He’d stayed in the bed with her and she’d drifted back to sleep. When he had been climbing out of bed, she’d woken up completely. Of course, she still feigned sleep.

  She couldn’t roll over and look at him right now.

  Sweet damnation, she’d never be able to look at him the same way again.

  It was a farce—that happy-go-lucky, devil-may-care casual façade he showed everybody. It was a farce. She’d never looked much beyond the surface with him, so she hadn’t been prepared for what she’d discovered while lying in bed next to him.

  Bare skin had touched bare skin. She’d felt him, all of him, what lay inside.

  Blood rushed to her face. She hadn’t known—hell, how could she have known?

  She heard the door close and when he left it was like some of the life drained out of the room. It was always like that with him—he carried so much life inside him. When he left, she felt it, but it was different this time—even more lifeless.

  Rolling onto her belly, she pressed her burning face into the pillow. How was she supposed to handle this?

  Images of Jed’s face rolled through her mind. She could still see his face as clearly as the day they’d married. Of course, she couldn’t if she went too long without looking at his holograph. He’d been gone for years—she missed him. But she couldn’t remember how he smelled anymore. Couldn’t quite remember the sound of his laugh.

  Or what it felt like to lie next to him while he slept. Those first few months after he had died, she had been sure she’d never forget those things. So sure she’d never want to hear another man’s voice saying her name. Never want to know that another man had feelings for her.

  This should make her uncomfortable.

  And it did.

  Except…not the way she would have expected. Not the embarrassed “geez, why me” way.

  More like melting into a hot buttery pool of sensation. Curiosity about what his mouth felt like, how he tasted. She didn’t want to feel that way about a man again. Ever. But the harder she thought about it, the longer she thought about it, the worse the feeling got.

  She sighed, her body felt too hot, too tight.

  Thinking about him like that reminded her of something she’d tried hard to forget. That she was a woman. Not just a healer, but a woman with her own needs.

  “Damn it, Miguel,” she whispered quietly.

  Kelly had a feeling that if she wasn’t careful, Miguel’s face would start haunting her dreams. And it would be even harder to remember Jed’s face.

  Summoning his image, she tried to remind herself of how it had felt to lie next to him, to touch him, just to wake up with him in the morning. For a while, she had been able to see what it was like to be a woman, to be something more than a Firewalker. To be wanted and needed for more than what she could do.

  Just for who she was.

  And over the past few years, she’d forgotten. A soft sob escaped her and she started to cry into her pillow.

  “I don’t want this.” Wrapping her arms around the pillow, she whispered fiercely, “I don’t want to feel alive again.”

  * * * * *

  It took running through the woods for damn near an hour before the heat inside his veins cooled. An icy shower before he was finally able to close his eyes without seeing her face.

  But as he walked out of the bathroom, Miguel saw her again, sitting at Anni’s feet with her legs crossed, her eyes closed and her hands linked with Anni’s. And the storm was back on—the need for her was like lightning sizzling through his veins. Consuming, powerful…terrifying.

  Tearing his eyes away from her, he found Sage staring at him. A commiserating smile appeared on the teleporter’s face for a minute, his eyes lingering on Anni.

  We’re pathetic, Miguel thought irritably, flinging his body down on the couch. Brooding, he stared up at the ceiling. The silence in the room was tense, stretching out—the women were mostly unaware. Anni sat there, her body trembling minutely while Kelly stared into nothingness, her face serene.

  From the corner of his eyes, he studied them. Anni looked far too pale, her skin almost gray. The bruises stood out in stark relief against her pale skin and her eyes looked almost black in her face.

  The bastards. Miguel wished he’d had a few minutes with the men who had done that to her, although he suspected Anni had taken a few pieces of hide.

  There was nothing left of the base. If the men who had brutalized her were there when he leveled it, then at least they were all dead. He could take a little pleasure from that.

  They wouldn’t hurt another woman, wouldn’t grab another child.

  But there were hundreds left to replace them…thousands.

  As the silence stretched on, he laid his head back against the cushioned couch, closing his eyes.

  They had a serious problem, though. Just how many Firewalkers were working with the government? Who were they and what were their gifts?

  The sound of two soft sighs drifted through the room and he opened his eyes just as Anni and Kelly separated hands. Anni looked a little pale, Kelly looked more so. Lines of strain fanned out from her eyes. He stared at her for a long moment, watching as a flush tinted her cheeks pink.

  She tore her gaze away from his and pushed slowly to her feet. She looked weary as she glanced at Sage. “Ribs are bruised, but she heals so fast on her own, she’ll be fine in another day or two. No other real physical injuries.” Kelly brushed a hand down Anni’s hair and she murmured, “You need to talk, you find me.”

  Anni’s lashes lifted slowly and she looked at Kelly with fogged eyes. She almost looked drugged—healing sometimes had that effect. She nodded but Miguel wondered if she really understood what Kelly had said.

  “Take her to her room,” Kelly murmured as Anni’s upper body swayed a little. “She needs to rest.”

  Sage caught Anni in his arms and lifted her, looking at Kelly with critical eyes. “You need to lie down, too,” he said to his sister.

  Kelly flicked him a tight smile. “Yeah.”

  Miguel watched as she started to shuffle toward the door. As she walked by the couch, she stumbled a little and Miguel rolled his eyes, reaching out and grabbing her wrist. It took just the lightest tug to pull her off balance. He guided her down onto the couch and rose, grabbing one of the throw pillows and moving to tuck it under her head.

  Kelly tried to sit up, twisting away from him and he crouched over her until she either had to touch him or just lie down. “You need to rest.”

  “I’d rather do it in my room,” Kelly groused, her brows lowering over her eyes as she glared at him.

  Miguel shrugged. “Sure. You think you can walk there?”

  She just closed her eyes and sighed. The action had her breasts rising and falling with the movement and Miguel swallowed the saliva that had suddenly started to pool in his mouth. Focusing on her face, he cocked a brow and waited for her to answer.

  Thick lashes lifted, revealing golden hazel eyes. “No.” She said it mutinously, almost daring him to say anything. “No, I don’t think I can walk. I’ve been pushing too hard and I’m worn out.”

  A smile tugged at his mouth. “Would you like me to help you to get to your room?”

  Her eyes narrowed and she ground out, “No. I’m fine right here.”r />
  Miguel reached up, pushing her hair back from her face. “You and your brother are so much alike, so damn stubborn.” He cupped her face in his palm, stroking his thumb over her lower lip.

  Soft…soft and silky. So warm.

  Kelly’s eyes widened, her pupils flaring a little. She breathed in softly and her tongue darted out, wetting her lips. For one second, she seemed a little warmer, a little more touchable. And then she blinked and the shutter fell back down, closing him out.

  “I’m tired,” she whispered, rolling onto her side, facing the back of the couch.

  Her fiery red hair spilled out behind her, and Miguel caught one fat curl, rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger. Softly, he asked, “Sage thinks he brought you back, doesn’t he? But he didn’t—you’re still resting in the grave with your husband.”

  Then he stood up and walked away.

  Hot tears rolled down her cheeks and Kelly fought to battle down the anger that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.

  Damn him anyway.

  He saw too much and she hated it. But he was wrong.

  She hadn’t lain down and died with Jed, as much as part of her wished she had. Kelly had felt dead inside for a very long time. It wasn’t until recently that she had acknowledged, even to herself, that she needed to get back to life.

  She hadn’t really planned on doing it, though. Just existing was safer, but when Miguel glanced at her with those dark, warm eyes, she felt just a little more of the ice around her heart melting.

  Then last night—why in the hell had she slept in the same bed as him? Ever since she had woken this morning, lying so close to him, her skin had been buzzing. Heart racing. She ached for him.

  Kelly hadn’t ached for a man in years. She’d all but forgotten she was a woman since Jed had died.

  She didn’t want to feel this way—caring about people was dangerous.

  Especially in her world. Too many of them had short life spans. Kelly was a healer, she didn’t work on the front line. Miguel, though, was one of the warriors. And the warriors had the shortest life spans of all.

  No. She didn’t want to feel anymore.

  * * * * *

  “Do you have to leave?” Anni asked drowsily as Sage started to pull the covers over her.

  He stilled, glancing down at her pale face. She looked a little better—not so pale, not as strained. Combing his fingers through her hair, he murmured, “You need to rest.”

  Her hand came up, closing over his wrist. “I’ll rest better if you stay with me.”

  Sage’s heart clenched. Forcing a smile, he said quietly, “Yeah, I can stay.” Her hands fell away and he sat on the edge of the bed, toeing his shoes off and lifting the cover back up, climbing in bed beside her. She rolled toward him, burying her face against his chest. She slid an arm around his waist and Sage heard her sigh and slowly, her body relaxed.

  He held her as she fell asleep and then he closed his own eyes and slept.

  Chapter Seven

  Kelly avoided Miguel like the plague for two days.

  Anni spent most of those two days sleeping.

  The tension in the house mounted until Sage was pretty sure it would drive them all nuts.

  On the third morning he woke to silence and knew they had to get out of there before one of them exploded. As he stood from his bed on the floor, he stretched, arching his stiff back and scowling. A gel mat—first thing he was doing was getting some gel mats out here as soon as he could.

  Glancing at the couch, he saw it was empty. Miguel had slept on the couch. The two men were swapping nights and tonight Sage would get the couch. But he’d much rather be in his bed…feeling Anni curled around him.

  That was assuming the four of them made it to nightfall. He remembered the tight lines of strain he’d seen on Kelly’s face the night before and he knew he had to get his sister out of there. Empaths were far too sensitive to handle living on the knife’s edge of tension like they’d been dealing with for the past few days.

  He couldn’t imagine how stressed out she must be. He was about ready to crawl out of his skin. He knew how to shield against the intrusive thoughts of others, but when they were this loud, this chaotic, it placed more stress on his shields. Psychic shields were like any other kinds of shields—too much stress and they’d eventually give.

  Scrubbing his hands over his face, he muttered, “You need to get out of here for a little while.”

  Most of his clothes were in his room and he didn’t want to risk waking Anni. Fortunately, he’d thrown some into the cleaning unit last night. He’d throw a T-shirt on with the loose cotton pants he’d worn to bed and go outside for a little while.

  Ten minutes later, he stepped outside and crouched on the synthetic wooden floor of the porch to tug on his athletic trainers. The shoes tightened automatically, adjusting to his feet. Behind him, the door closed in a silent whisper.

  Taking a deep breath, he tried to clear his mind but that didn’t work so he just took off running. Ten minutes passed. The muscles in his thighs screamed but he just continued to circle around on the miles of trails. After twenty minutes, he was breathing hard enough that he could focus on his breathing instead of Anni. After forty minutes, he was tired enough that he figured he’d run his energy level down to where he could function without feeling like a ticking time bomb.

  The cabin was about a half mile away and he slowed to a walk, desperately sucking in air in an attempt to calm his breathing.

  Yeah, that had helped. His body felt loose, muscles turned to mush and the tension from the past few days was gone.

  Maybe, just maybe, he could even relax a little.

  Then again, maybe not.

  He froze in the middle of the path as a familiar tension invaded the air around him. His muscles jumped, his skin felt tight and the roaring in his ears had nothing to do with all the miles he’d just run.

  “Shit,” he muttered. He ‘ported back to the house in a heartbeat. The floor of the living room solidified under his feet and he found himself staring at a broad back, covered by what looked like the uniform of a Federated soldier.

  The other teleporter stepped aside just as Sage reached for him and Sage found himself staring into the eyes of the bastard who had grabbed Anni.

  “You are dead,” he rasped.

  The man smiled. “That is likely true, but it would be better if you held off on killing me. I’ve come from the underground.”

  Sage flicked his eyes to the uniform and growled, “I’m pretty sure that the boys in the underground prefer a little more casual clothing.”

  A faint smile. “Yes, but infiltrating the Federated Army was necessary. And useful. It is much easier to take out prisoners when you know where all of them are, when you know the guard schedule and when the executions are planned.”

  They weren’t alone any longer. Sage glanced at the open doorway, giving Miguel a slight nod. Energy cracked and a kinetic shield sprang up, wrapping Kelly and Anni in an impenetrable barrier.

  “You want me to believe that you’ve pulled prisoners out of the prison camps,” he dropped a glance to the insignia on the man’s lapels, “lieutenant?”

  “You can believe what you wish. But you all aren’t the only ones capable of retrieval operations.” Miguel started toward them and the lieutenant sidestepped so that he faced both the men. “We’ve had men in the military for the past fifteen years, but it’s time our people stopped acting independent of each other. We both have the same goals.”

  Sage narrowed his eyes and Miguel stepped a little closer, cracking his knuckles. “I don’t think you want to see yourself gutted,” Miguel drawled.

  “Oh, I don’t want him gutted. I want to see him beaten down, tested like a guinea pig, and pissed on,” Sage said, crossing his arms over his chest. “I’m pretty sure what was next for her involved rape and execution.” He gave the ‘porter a chilly smile. “You’re not my type, but I bet we can find somebody who’d be more than happy to give yo
u a try before we kill you.”

  “She wouldn’t have been raped,” the lieutenant said shortly. “War makes a man do many things he would rather not do.”

  “Like terrorizing innocent women?” Sage offered, curling his hands into tight fists.

  The lieutenant glanced toward Anni. She was silent, still as a statue, but the light of fury lit her eyes. “She’s not an innocent woman. She signed on to fight a war—as did we all. We know the risks.”

  Fury ripped through Sage’s veins. “Risks? Is that how you see the women and children your damn government has killed? Are they acceptable losses?”

  “No.” The lieutenant’s voice was quiet. “Not one of them is acceptable.”

  Sage started to reach for the bastard, intent on ripping him limb from limb. Anni’s older brother had done that once, tore a Federated soldier’s arms clear off his body. That memory had sickened Sage for a long time, but now he could picture himself doing it. Easily.

  But as his hand closed around the lieutenant’s uniform, Anni’s soft voice broke through the haze of his fury. “You never lifted a hand to me. Why did you help me?”

  Still clenching the front of the lieutenant’s uniform in his fist, Sage looked at Anni. “You don’t need to be here. Kelly, take her to her room.”

  Kelly looked from Anni’s pale face to Sage, her eyes wide. “No way, you leave me out of this, brother dear,” she said, shaking her head.

  Anni flicked a glance at Sage. “I’m not fragile, Sage. And I have a right to understand…how he could possibly take me there, turn me over to them, and then protect me.”

  Sage stared at her bruised face. “You don’t look like you were protected from anything.”

  She didn’t look at him as she responded, “They had me strapped to a table, ready to do a full spinal and cranial series. One of them even mentioned amputating a hand so they could run more complete tests on my physical makeup when he came in and ordered the tests to be stopped. More than five soldiers were in my cell—they were trying to get me pinned down. He ordered them to leave and when one objected, he pulled a gun on him. When they…they…” her voice trailed away. She cleared her throat and swallowed before continuing, “He brought me water so I could clean up.”