by Jaci Burton
Monique applied blush to her face, then squinted as she surveyed the results. "A little better, but try to avoid appearing as if you might vomit at any second, okay?"
"I'll try."
Zelda, the magazine's production assistant, stuck her head in the door. "We're ready for you, Ms. Cassidy."
"Thank you. I'll be right there."
Mia shot a helpless look at Monique, who gave her two thumbs-up in reply. "You can do this."
She went into her office, which had been transformed into something that didn't look like her office anymore. It was filled with a lot more color, with orange and purple pillows on the sofa, a rug on the floor and different chairs.
They'd told her they were going to have to accessorize the office to photograph well. She'd said she was fine with that.
She was fine with whatever. She just needed to get through this. She could get through anything.
Andrea, the editor who was going to interview her today, came over and smiled at her. "Are you ready?"
Mia nodded.
"How about we sit on the sofa to start?"
"Sure."
She took a seat on the sofa and Andrea sat with her. Mia folded her hands together in her lap so Andrea wouldn't notice her hands were shaking.
Get a freakin' grip, Mia. This isn't your first interview.
She'd done an interview with one of the San Francisco newspapers when MHC first opened. She'd been totally together. So what was the big deal here?
Andrea started out with a few innocuous questions about Mia's educational background and where she'd grown up, no doubt icebreakers to keep Mia relaxed. Which was good because it was working. They gradually made their way into the reasons for Mia starting her business, and how things were going. They discussed the athletes MHC had signed so far, and what the company's plans were for the first year and going forward.
Once Mia settled in and started talking business, she relaxed. Andrea was an engaging interviewer, and Mia found a rapport with her.
"And what about your personal life?" Andrea asked. "Any boyfriends? Girlfriends?"
"Oh." That question hit her like a ton of bricks. "Not really."
"Surely someone as successful as you knows it's important to have a social life. I mean, it can't be all about work all the time, right?"
"Of course. I date. But no special guy in my life right now."
She wanted to take the words back as soon as she'd said them.
"That's understandable. It's good to be social, but of course you're building a company from the ground up. I can totally relate to not wanting any heavy involvements in your life at the moment."
"Yes. Right. That's it, exactly." She so wanted this interview to be over with.
"Okay, I think that's enough for now. Let's take a few photographs."
They took some photos of her leaning against her desk, and sitting at her desk, and brought in a few of her staff, Monique included, to mimic her doing some meeting-type work. That didn't take too long. Andrea thanked her and told her they'd have the article up on the magazine's website within a week, and in next month's print magazine.
The staff returned her office to its previous state, decor wise, in short order.
She thanked Andrea and the entire staff for their time, and walked them all to the elevators.
Then she exhaled and leaned against the wall, feeling incredibly drained. She could drink an entire bottle of wine right now.
With a straw.
Monique came down the hall.
"How did it go?"
Mia pushed off the wall. "Fine, I guess."
"You guess? It was either good or bad. Was it bad? How was it bad?"
"I don't know." She turned to head down the hall to her office.
Monique followed. "There's something you're not telling me. What are you not telling me?"
When they got back to Mia's office, she went to the mini fridge and grabbed a water, opened it and took a long swallow, then headed over to one of the chairs in front of her desk and slumped in it.
Monique slid into the chair across from Mia's desk.
"Okay, spill," Monique said.
"The front end of the interview was fine. We talked about my early life, my education, my motivation for starting the company. I was enthusiastic and on point about MHC. I killed it there."
"Okay, that's awesome. Tell me the downside."
"She got into my personal life, asked questions about who I was dating."
Monique wrinkled her nose. "I hate that. It's so intrusive. What the hell does that have to do with you and MHC?"
"Nothing. I told her there was no special guy in my life right now. I wanted to take the words back as soon as I said them."
"I see. You're upset that you indirectly dissed Nathan."
"Yes."
"Honey, the interviewer put you on the spot. Don't worry about it. He won't take offense. Besides, you've been keeping this relationship on the down low. Neither one of you wants it in the spotlight."
She sighed. "I know. But still, I feel like I insulted him, like he doesn't matter to me."
"And he does matter to you."
"Yes. He's my friend."
Monique cocked her head to the side. "He's more than that, though, isn't he?"
"Yes." She rubbed her temple, already feeling the headache starting to form.
"Have you talked to him about how you feel?"
"No. I've been trying to avoid talking to him about how I feel."
"Why?"
"I don't know. I'm still afraid of upsetting the status quo between us."
"Which is ridiculous. You two are getting along great. The sex hasn't changed anything between you, right?"
"I guess not."
"So what's worrying you?"
"I don't know. Some gut feeling that what's happening between us is going to end. That our friendship will end. I always feel like I'm standing on a cliff just waiting to fall over, and when I do, I'll be falling by myself. Does that even make any sense?"
Monique looked at her. "It does to you and that's all that matters. Talk to Nathan. Tell him how you feel."
"I don't want to talk to Nathan. There's not even anything to talk about. Things are going well between us, so why upset that?"
Monique went over to the mini fridge and grabbed a green tea, holding it up for Mia, who nodded, so she grabbed two. She came over and handed one to Mia, then took her seat, unscrewed the lid and took a sip. "So you're going to live in denial?"
"That's preferable, yes."
"You realize you can't live in denial land forever."
"Why not? It's nice here."
Monique laughed. "You're the most realistic person I've ever known, Mia. And you've never been afraid to face anything head-on. So maybe whatever it is you're feeling for Nathan that has you running scared might be love."
Mia wrinkled her nose. "I can't be in love. I don't want to be in love. Love will ruin us."
Monique rolled her eyes. "How will love ruin you?"
"If I thought sex was bad for our friendship? Falling in love could destroy us."
"Sometimes your sense of logic is utterly mind-boggling. Falling in love might be the best thing that could ever happen to you and Nathan."
She shook her head, gripping the bottle of tea she had yet to open. "I don't see it that way."
"Maybe you should think about it. And for God's sake, talk to Nathan instead of keeping your thoughts to yourself."
"I'll . . . think about it."
Instead, when she went home after work that night, she changed into shorts and a tank top, grabbed a glass of wine, got her planner out and made herself comfortable on the sofa to work on her Pros and Cons list.
Love versus Friendship
The Friendship list was easy. On the Pro side, she listed fun, trust, sharing all her secrets, being able to keep him as her best friend and no emotional attachments. But if she moved him back over to the Friendship side, she'd pull sex out of the equatio
n. That's just how it would have to be. So the con of friendship would be no more sex.
She leaned back on the sofa and thought about the no more sex thing. In college they'd had sex one time before she'd crossed it off the list. This time it was different. They'd been sexing it up on a pretty regular basis. She had to admit she'd grown accustomed to his body, to his touch, to occasionally sleeping with his body wrapped around hers.
She'd miss that. With sex came intimacy, and being closer to Nathan these past couple of months had been everything.
Enough to risk losing Nathan's friendship, though?
No. She'd live without the sex before she'd lose Nathan.
She moved over to the Love side.
She listed warmth, tenderness, emotional gratification, his touch, the way he looked at her and the way he touched her. Definitely the sex, too, which had been growing in intensity every time they were together. It was passionate, definitely, but there was a depth to their lovemaking now that hadn't been there before.
She wanted to be with Nathan more and more. She felt part of him, so she added that to the Love side.
On the Con side of Love was commitment. Not that commitment was a con. But she didn't think either of them was ready for that big a step in their relationship. They were both early in their careers. Having fun was one thing. Sex was one thing. Falling in love? That was a big deal.
She also added risk to the Con list. Their friendship was solid and always had been. But with love came risk and if it didn't work out, it could end them forever. That scared her. She would never want to put her friendship with Nathan at risk.
In addition, she still didn't know how Nathan felt about her. He might still think of their relationship as all fun and games. So what if she threw the Love card out there and he didn't love her back?
She didn't even want to think about that.
She put her planner to the side and laid her head back against the sofa.
Everything had been much simpler when they were just friends. Why were sex and love so confusing?
Her doorbell rang. She closed her planner and went to the door, looking out the peephole to see Nathan.
She was surprised since she wasn't expecting him. She opened the door to see him holding a bag.
"I brought Thai food. I hope you're hungry."
"What are you doing here?"
"Bringing you dinner. Are you gonna let me in?"
"Sorry. Yes, of course." She pulled the door all the way open and he walked in. She shut the door behind him and followed him into the kitchen.
"I suppose you still don't have paper plates."
She opened the cabinet and pulled out plates. "No. These are fine."
She was happy to see he'd brought crab Rangoon and chicken satay, along with pad Thai chicken and Thai fried rice. She spooned out a little of everything onto her plate.
She hadn't thought she was hungry, but the food smelled delicious. She fixed large ice waters for both of them and they sat in the living room to eat while they watched a movie on TV.
Though she wasn't really focused on the movie. Her thoughts kept straying to the pro/con list she'd been working on before Nathan showed up.
Which, by the way . . .
"So, it was a surprise to see you at my door."
He scooped up a forkful of rice, chewed, then swallowed. "Monique texted me."
Mia arched a brow. "She did? Why?"
He shrugged. "She said you needed me."
Leave it to her friends to think she needed rescuing when she didn't.
"Do you?"
She glanced over at him. "Not really."
"She said you had a shit day. Did the interview with the magazine go badly?"
"No, it was fine. Though I might have said something that will piss you off."
"In the interview?" He laid his fork down.
"Yes. Everything was going well when we were talking business. Then all of a sudden the interview shifted to my personal life."
He grimaced. "I hate when interviewers get personal. What did she ask?"
"She asked if I was seeing someone. I panicked and said there was no one special in my life."
"Oh." He shrugged. "Good answer."
Just like that? "And you're not mad?"
"Why would I be mad about that? Did you think I'd want you to declare your undying love for me in a magazine interview?"
"Well, I guess not."
"Come on, Mia. She was out of bounds and you gave a professional answer without coming right out and telling her your personal life was none of her damn business. Which it isn't."
Her entire body relaxed in relief. "Thank you. I was so worried you'd be angry."
"Why? I don't give the media any information about my personal life because it's not for them to know. They can have all the information they want about what I do on the field. Off the field? Not their business. The same has to hold true for you. I mean, they're always going to dig up something here and there because that's the nature of the business these days. But you sure as hell don't have to be the one to feed it to them, ya know?"
She nodded. "You're right. She just caught me off guard because I didn't expect the question."
"Even the most reputable journalists will sometimes dig into your personal business. Now that you know that, you'll be better equipped to handle it the next time."
"You're right. I will." With a renewed sense of relief, she finished up her meal, then cuddled up with Nathan to watch the movie.
At least one issue had been resolved tonight. The other one she decided to table for the moment. She felt such ease right now she didn't want to build up the tension again with a "Hey, how do we feel about love?" conversation.
That could definitely wait for another time. It was enough that he wasn't mad at her about what she'd said during her interview. She didn't even know why she'd worried about it. She knew him well enough to know he wouldn't take it seriously.
Would he ever take anything seriously, including her? Including them?
As they watched the movie, she chewed on a hangnail that had been giving her grief all day. Which was probably some ridiculous metaphor for leaving things hanging.
She blew out a breath.
Nathan rubbed her arm. "You okay?"
"Fine. Still trying to blow off the remnants of the day."
He brought his hand up to her neck, teasing her skin with the lightest touch of his fingers. "Hard to get rid of that tension sometimes, isn't it?"
"Yes." She straightened, then turned to face him, crossing her legs over each other. "And I just realized I never asked about your day, which makes me a terrible friend."
"Girlfriend."
"What?"
"We're more than friends, Mia, aren't we?"
Yet another thing she couldn't get right. "Yes, of course we are. So anyway, that makes me a terrible girlfriend."
He laughed. "Hey, it's okay for you to be all about you sometimes."
"No, it's not." She took his hand and entwined her fingers with his. His hands were so much larger than hers, his fingers rough and calloused. She could feel the amount of strength in his hands, and yet he was always so gentle with her.
"How did practice go?"
"It went well. We're focused, offensive line and receivers look good. The cuts were tough this week, but it only makes the team stronger."
"And you'll get more playing time in the game this weekend."
"Yeah. A shorter week since we play on Saturday, but that's okay. I'm more than ready for it."
"I'll for sure be there."
He moved his hand to her leg, snaking his fingers along her knee and up toward her thighs.
"To watch your brother play, right?"
Her next breath hitched as he slipped his fingers inside one leg of her shorts.
"Please do not mention my brother while your fingers are inching their way up toward my pussy."
He pushed her back onto the sofa, then tucked his fingers inside her unde
rwear.
"Slick, hot pussy, too," he said, moving to lean over her, not once stopping his movements across her sex.
He painted her with her own moisture, teasing her clit with broad, circular strokes.
The tension she'd felt earlier dissolved, replaced with a new form of tension, this one taut with needy desire. She raised her arms above her head and arched her hips to search out more of that heady sensation.
Give up sex with Nathan? What was she thinking? She made a mental note to underline at least three or four times in her planner how awesome the sex was. With her favorite purple pen. Because damn he was good at this.
And when he slipped a finger inside of her and began to pump, she moaned her pleasure. He used his finger to slowly and steadily thrust in and out of her, his knuckles brushing against her clit in an agonizingly sweet way that made her climb ever higher toward orgasm.
He added another finger inside her, then swirled his thumb over the bud.
"Oh, yes," she said. "Oh, I'm going to come."
"That's it," he said. "Come on, babe. Feel me fucking you with my fingers. Come on my fingers, Mia."
His voice was soft, coaxing the orgasm from her.
The double sensation was more than she could bear. She released with an incredible climax that left her breathless, yet still wanting more.
Nathan did, too, because with his fingers still moving within her, he leaned over and kissed her, a soft kiss that sparked her passions to a fevered pitch.
She smoothed her hand over his jaw. "Let's get naked."
His lips curved. "Thought you'd never ask. Want to go upstairs?"
She shook her head. "No. Right here."
"I'll go grab a condom. Get to taking off those clothes."
She smiled at him, and he disappeared upstairs. She stood, pulled off her tank top and discarded her bra, then shimmied out of her shorts and underwear.
Nathan returned and shed his T-shirt, jeans and underwear, put on the condom and took a seat on the sofa.
"Come here, babe," he said, holding his hands out for her. "I want you to wrap those beautiful legs around me."
She settled in on his thighs, easing down over his rigid cock. The sensation was amazing as he filled her. When she was fully seated on him, she wrapped her legs around his back and her arms around his neck.
"This is good," he said, cupping her butt in his hands. "You and me, close together like this. I can touch you everywhere."
He demonstrated by using one hand to brush across her nipples.
