by Amira Rain
Now I couldn’t help but crack a little smile, shifting my gaze from Chrissy to Jen. “Figures ‘Ah-Zhen’ would be her first word, and not ‘Mama’ or ‘Da-da.’ Just with how much she resembles you and everything.”
Chrissy really did resemble Jen, even though she also resembled Hayden and me. Chrissy had her daddy’s grin, and his piercing blue eyes, too. As far as resembling me, she had my nose, I thought. This was as far as parental resemblance went, though. In just about every other way, Chrissy resembled her Aunt Jen, from her face shape, to her pale alabaster skin, to her tiny chin, to her flame-red hair that was neither curly nor perfectly straight.
Like Jen’s, Chrissy’s thick hair was wavy in places, straight-ish in others, and cowlicky in all places in between. Chrissy even had Jen’s eyelashes, which were thick, dark, and perfectly curled, just like a doll’s or something, despite the fact that Jen never used an eyelash curler. Chrissy would never have to, either.
When Chrissy had been maybe two or three months old, all her similarities with Jen made me begin to feel a little paranoid. Paranoid about what, specifically, I wasn’t even quite sure. Except that in my heart of hearts, I was sure, but I just didn’t dare utter it aloud. It was Mel who finally did one day, watching me while I watched Jen slowly dancing around the living room, gently bouncing Chrissy in her arms.
“So….” Mel said to me. “You’re starting to wonder if something went terribly wrong with whatever spell made you get pregnant with Hayden’s baby. You’re starting to wonder if something horrific could have happened…like, if somehow, Jen could be Chrissy’s biological mother or something.”
Feeling like a boulder had been lifted off my chest just to hear Mel voice my concerns out loud, I turned to her and spoke in a low voice. “You’ve gotta help me get a test done…a test to make sure that Hayden and I are both actually Chrissy’s biological parents.”
Mel said she was sure that we were, and I asked her how she was so sure.
Reclining back on the couch with her arms folded loosely across her chest, she shrugged. “I know Chrissy’s still practically a newborn, but she already seems far too smart to be any closer family relation than a second cousin of Jen.”
At that moment, it was clear that Mel was forgetting that she was actually Jen’s twin.
I made an attempt to defend Jen’s intellect, pointing out that she’d been smart enough to figure out that Carla was bad news when nobody else had, but in my heart, I was extremely relieved by what Mel had said. Even at her age, Chrissy did seem to have a bit of a different personality than Jen, often seeming able to focus on different things and objects for longer than Jen could.
Cutting off my defense of Jen’s intellect with a wave of her hand, Mel once again said that she was sure that Chrissy was biologically Hayden’s and mine but that she’d help me find out for sure anyway, just so that I could have peace of mind. However, she insisted that I tell Hayden first, which I did that evening. The next day, Nora collected DNA from Hayden, me, and Chrissy via cheek swabs, then drove the samples to a lab in Sweetwater to be tested.
For about six weeks, I tried, with varying degrees of success, to put the whole thing out of my mind. But when Nora said that the lab had called her with the results, I nearly grabbed her by the shirt, begging her to tell me that second. Seeming to sense that I was about to grab her by the shirt, she didn’t waste any time in telling me that Chrissy was definitely Hayden’s and my biological daughter. Nothing had gone haywire with the spell that had made me pregnant.
Exhaling in a rush, I asked Nora if she was a hundred percent confident in the lab results, and she said that she was. “The lab didn’t pick up on Hayden being a vampire, either. Like I told you weeks ago, vampire DNA shows up in lab work as identical to human DNA.”
I was so relieved that I didn’t even care about any of that right then. All I cared about was that my beautiful daughter was indeed mine. Regardless of the fact that she resembled her Aunt-slash-second-cousin Jen more than anyone else in the family.
Back in the present, in Chrissy’s dimly-lit nursery with her and Jen, Jen said that Chrissy had been calling her “Ah-Zhen” for a couple of days. “Which means that ‘Mama’ and ‘Da-da’ will come along any day now. I just know it.”
Smiling, I took one of Chrissy’s pudgy hands and asked her if that was true. “Are you going to say ‘Mama’ soon?”
Grinning, Chrissy gave her head a shake, swishing her half-wavy, half-straight-ish hair. She then babbled something like “oh,” which I was pretty sure meant no. This was followed by an exclamation of “Ah-Zhen!”
Looking uncharacteristically embarrassed, Jen gave me a small little smile. “‘Mama’ probably would have been her first word, but I kept saying ‘Aunt Jen’ and pointing to myself one night while me and her were playing, just to experiment and see if she’d say it. I really didn’t think she would. Sorry I messed up her first word, though.”
Unexpectedly touched by Jen’s apology, I smiled at her. “Please don’t feel bad at all. A baby’s first word is special, but I think it’s pretty special that Chrissy obviously loves her Aunt Jen so much. We are going to have to discontinue these nighttime play sessions, though, Jen. Chrissy’s got to get out of the habit of waking up at night just to play. And you have got to get out of the habit of encouraging her, no matter how fun it is for both of you to have some playtime at night. Whenever she squawks or cries, just let me get her. Or Hayden.”
Jen glanced down at Wanted, who’d entered the room and was now standing beside her, gently wagging his golden tail. “Well, what about Wanted? Can he still play with Chrissy at night? See, he’s gotten used to our nighttime playtimes, too. When I line up all Chrissy’s stuffed animals on the floor, Wanted likes to trot through them to knock some over, which always makes Chrissy giggle.”
Just slightly exasperated, I told Jen that I was sorry, but Wanted couldn’t play with Chrissy at night, either. “After Chrissy is put to bed at night, Hayden and I are the only ones allowed in here until morning, from now on. Okay?”
Jen said okay. “When is Hayden even home to come in here, though, anyway? Didn’t he already take off again after only being home today for like, three hours or something?”
Truth be told, he hadn’t even been home for that long. It had been more like two-and-a-half hours.
Taking Chrissy from Jen, I told Jen that Hayden would be home full-time very soon. “Hopefully, anyway. He just has to deal with the whole Carla situation first, but it won’t be long now. He found out where she is today, and where she’s going, so now, he can easily hunt her down.”
I hoped.
After giving Chrissy a brief cuddle, telling her repeatedly that it was “sleepy time,” I put her back in her crib and left the bedroom with Jen, closing the door behind us. I hadn’t even let go of the doorknob when Chrissy began wailing, and Jen said she’d go back in.
“She probably just wants one more nighttime playtime before we stop the habit for good.”
Blocking Jen from the door, I shook my head. “No, Jen. You can’t. No more nighttime playtime with Chrissy. Not even one more time.”
Folding her arms across her chest, Jen made a “harrumph” sort of noise. “So, you’re just going to let her cry in there?”
I answered in the affirmative. “In a minute or two, she’ll probably stop, having learned that nighttime playtimes are over, and no one is going to come in when she’s just crying to play.”
“Well, one of us has at least got to go back in to get Wanted. We left him in there.”
I cringed, realizing that Chrissy’s crying had suddenly stopped. “Well, now I really don’t want to go back in there since she’s not crying anymore.”
Not seeing any way around it, I went in anyway, soon seeing what had made Chrissy stop crying. Standing with his muzzle between the bars of her crib, Wanted was comforting her by licking one of her chubby little hands, which she’d extended for him to reach.
Feeling like a cold-hearted, e
vil mother, I took Wanted by the collar and began gently guiding him out of the room, separating him from Chrissy, making her wail.
Frowning, Jen began protesting. “Oh, come on, Syd. Can’t we at least leave him in here overnight with her?”
“No. Chrissy needs to learn how to go asleep and stay asleep by herself. That’s what her pediatrician says.”
That was true, which was why I couldn’t figure out why I felt so terrible about doing what I was doing.
Once I got Wanted and Chrissy out of the room, I again shut the door. Chrissy wailed. Wanted lowered himself to the floor and began whining piteously, as if he wanted to direct his whining beneath the door so that Chrissy would hear him and know that she wasn’t alone.
Glancing from Wanted to the door to me, Jen suddenly began sniffling and spoke in a trembling sort of voice that made me think that full-tilt tears were just around the corner. “You know, Syd…I don’t even mean to say it like this, but sometimes, I think you’re a little bit mean to Chrissy.”
Maybe because I was feeling like I was being a “little bit mean” to Chrissy, I suddenly felt my own eyes fill with tears. Where are you, Hayden? I thought, covering my face with my hands, even though I knew full well where he was, or at least full well what he was doing. All that mattered to me at that moment was that I felt like I needed him, and he wasn’t there. I probably should have been used to this feeling by now, but I wasn’t. And the fact that I’d actually wanted Hayden to go out after Carla again earlier that evening didn’t make me feel any better.
Not a moment after I’d covered my face with my hands, Jen began full-tilt crying, saying through choked sobs that she was so sorry for saying that she thought I was being a little bit mean to Chrissy, and that she hadn’t meant to hurt my feelings. “Look. I’m even going to punch myself in the face to show you how sorry I am, and also to punish myself for saying such a stupid thing!”
I caught Jen’s little fist when it was about an inch from her face and told her to please stop. “You don’t need to punch yourself. I accept your apology, and I forgive you for what you said. I only started sniffling because I’d already kind of started thinking the same thing…that I’m being a little bit mean to Chrissy.”
“I know you’re just doing it for her own good, though.”
“That’s right. I am. I’d just feel a little better, though, if maybe Hayden was home to back me up and tell me that I’m doing the right thing for Chrissy.”
Just then, Carol, who was now Mark’s wife, came out of their bedroom, shutting the door behind her, and came down the dimly-lit hallway to Jen, Wanted, and me. “What’s wrong, girls? Why is everyone crying?”
Jen and I both had tears on our cheeks; Wanted was still whining and pawing at the crack beneath the nursery door; and inside the nursery, Chrissy was still wailing. In fact, her volume was steadily increasing, weakening my resolve to not go back in there.
Wiping her eyes, Jen answered Carol before I could. “Oh, everything’s okay. Me and Chrissy are just dealing with having our nighttime playtime taken away; Wanted is sad because he couldn’t stay in the nursery; and Sydney just wishes Hayden was home so that she doesn’t have to be a single mom all the time.”
Something about hearing the phrase “single mom” made fresh tears rise in my eyes, and I hastily wiped them away, telling Carol that I was fine. “Really. We all are. Sorry if Chrissy’s crying woke you up.”
Wearing an anguished expression, Jen turned her gaze to the nursery door. “She just wants to play stuffed animal lineup with me so bad!”
“All right.” Carol gently took Wanted’s collar in one hand, and one of Jen’s hands in her other hand. “Let’s get you and Wanted back to bed, Jen.”
Seeming a bit reluctant, Jen said okay, and Carol began leading her and Wanted away, glancing over her shoulder at me.
“No need to be sorry about Chrissy’s crying. Just come get me if you need anything.”
Once the hallway was quiet, it only took about a minute for Chrissy’s cries to taper off into feeble whimpers. When her feeble whimpers stopped, I finally returned to Hayden’s and my room, grabbed my phone from the nightstand, and flopped on our bed to send him a text.
I figured out the reason that Chrissy has been waking up at night sometimes just to play. See, someone’s been practically training her to do it.
Hayden immediately responded, asking who. I quickly typed and sent my response.
Oh, I’ll give you one guess. Hint: she’s the original family redhead. And, like our baby, she also likes to get up in the middle of the night just to play.
This time, it took Hayden a little longer to respond, and when he did, it was less of a response and more of a goodbye. Gotta go. Will contact you soon with Carla info. Love you.
With tears rising in my eyes once again, I typed out, Love you, too, sent the text, and then snuggled beneath the covers to cry.
CHAPTER TWO
Days passed before Hayden contacted me again, and even then, it wasn’t to tell me information about Carla, it was just to say that he wouldn’t be home for a few more days. Feeling completely demoralized when Hayden ended the brief call, I pocketed my phone and went back to feeding Chrissy her dinner of pureed chicken and mashed sweet potatoes, soon realizing that for about the fourth or fifth time, I’d forgotten to tell Hayden that she’d spoken her first word. Our calls had been so short as of late that I’d barely had any time to remember, let alone tell him.
Repeating her first word right then, Chrissy burst out with an “Ah-Zhen,” making a mouthful of mashed sweet potato spray out of her mouth, when Jen came in the house and walked into the kitchen.
Jen grinned, came over to Chrissy’s high chair, and gave her a kiss on the cheek before examining her dinner, which sat on the high chair tray in two little dishes. “What is it tonight, Syd? Sweet potatoes and chicken?”
I answered in the affirmative, and Jen asked if there was any more.
“I think I could go for some myself…just to help Chrissy, anyway.”
When Chrissy had started on solid foods, Jen had gotten the idea that she’d be more likely to eat if she saw someone else eating the same foods. “Just so she won’t feel like a freak or something if she’s the only one at dinner eating mashed-up things,” Jen had said. I’d humored her, serving her a dish of pureed green beans right along with Chrissy, and it actually seemed to make a difference.
With Jen chowing down beside her, eating with a plastic baby spoon no less, Chrissy ate more of her green beans than she ever had before. Since then, whenever I made homemade baby food for Chrissy in the food processor, I always made extra for Jen.
Once they’d both finished their dinner of chicken and sweet potatoes, including second helpings for both of them, I asked Jen where she’d been all day. Truth be told, I’d really missed her and kind of wondered what activity had been more interesting to her than spring flower planting around the house, which is what Carol, Mel, Chrissy, and I had been doing all day.
Sitting on a bar stool up to the island, next to Chrissy’s high chair, Jen shrugged in response to my question. “Oh…I was just out doing stuff. Just out doing random different things with Wanted.”
“Well, what kind of ‘stuff’ and ‘random different things?’ And, by the way, where’s Wanted?”
He hadn’t followed her into the house.
Shrugging again, Jen said that she’d left Wanted outside so that he could “stretch his legs” a bit after the car ride home. “And, in fact, I bet he’s stretched his legs enough now, so I should probably go get him.”
Jen hopped off her bar stool and began heading through the kitchen to the front door, but I asked her to hold up, and she stopped.
“Where did you guys go in your car? The two of you were gone an awfully long time.”
In response to my questions, Jen slowly turned to look at me. “Well, it’s all kind of a long story.”
“Well, you can tell your best friend.”
Just fo
r the briefest of moments, Jen made an expression that appeared to me to be something like a grimace. “Well…I just don’t want you to worry or anything.”
“Why would I worry?”
“Well…I don’t know. You are my best friend, and you’re nothing like my dad or Mel, but…you know how you all can get all worried about me sometimes and junk.”
Wondering just what in the heck Jen had been doing that day, I finished lifting Chrissy out of her high chair and held her on my hip, asking Jen to please just tell me where she’d been.
Coming back over to the island and then leaning over it on her elbows, she heaved a long sigh. “Look. I met some strangers today, all right? And I basically hung out with them all day. We hung out in their RV for a bit, and we all had lunch together, and then we all did a bunch of other stuff, and went some different places.”
A little alarmed, I worked to keep it out of my voice. “You got in the RV of people who were complete strangers?”
Again, Jen heaved a sigh, straightening up from her lean over the island. “Don’t forget who you are, Syd. You’re my best friend. You’re not my dad or Mel. Unlike them, you don’t think you’re the boss of me. That’s part of what makes our friendship so special. Remember?”
“Well, I’m just a little concerned that you—”
“And, besides…I’m a legal adult, which means I can do whatever I want without anyone having the right to question me or judge me. No matter how little I am, or how young I look, I’m a full-on legal adult. I can prove it with my birthdate on my driver’s license, as I discovered today. I needed it for proof of the fact that I’m a legal adult who should never be questioned.”
“What did you need to prove you’re a legal adult for?”
Horrified, I was thinking of nightmare scenarios, like whoever had lured Jen into their RV had somehow gotten her to consent to have pornographic pictures taken of her, or maybe had gotten her to consent to something even worse.
