by Amira Rain
With his beautiful blue eyes twinkling, Hayden gave me a quizzical look. “What did she mean by ‘help with hand-holding?’”
I explained that she’d offered to help put his and my hands together in order to force us to hold hands if we had any difficulties in doing so ourselves.
Taking my hand right then, Hayden said he didn’t think that was going to be a problem. “In fact, I’m finding it difficult not to hold your hand this evening. The way you look, and the way you’re smiling tonight…I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you look more beautiful. Maybe only on our wedding day.”
I wasn’t sure if it was because of the touch of his hand, or what he’d said, or both, but my face suddenly became very warm.
“Thank you.”
With his mouth curving in a slight half-grin, Hayden gave my hand a squeeze before picking up his drink with his free hand. However, within a second, he paused with the glass right at his lips when the fairly loud karaoke music still coming from the makeshift stage adjacent to the bar suddenly hushed. Or, the singing at least suddenly hushed anyway, but within a second or two, the music was turned down a bit, too.
Hayden set down his drink and we both turned to look at the other side of the barn just in time to see a tall, muscular man with golden brown hair coming over to us, striding so fast his pace was really a near-run. This man’s name was Abbott, and over the course of the past few months, he’d risen through the ranks of Hayden’s Watcher “warriors” on the farm to become one of Hayden’s top “lieutenants,” so to speak. Hayden trusted him completely, and had often left him in charge, along with Trevor and Sam, during the times when Hayden had to leave on the hunt for Carla.
On this particular evening, Abbott had been entrusted with leading a guard patrol around the vast property and the woodlands surrounding the farm during the party. He’d been told to come and personally speak to Hayden if any Warren fighters or spies were spotted anywhere near the property, and everyone at the party, or everyone who lived on the farm anyway, knew this, which probably accounted for the karaoke singing coming to a stop the moment Abbott had entered the barn.
While Abbott continued approaching, Hayden stood, frowning. “What is it, Abbott?”
Abbott soon came to a stop, leaned in close to speak directly into Hayden’s ear, and said something in a low voice that I couldn't quite hear, despite the fact that all laughing and conversational murmuring in the barn had come to a grinding halt. The background music for karaoke was still on, although it wasn’t very loud, and this was now the only sound in the barn.
Immediately after Abbott had finished speaking to him, Hayden addressed everyone in the bar with a faint crease between his eyes, his deep voice carrying far without him even having to raise it very much. “Everything’s fine, everyone. Just a small issue with a security breach on our property. Everyone who usually helps with security breaches like this, please follow me outside. Everyone else, please continue to enjoy the party, and have a nice rest of the evening.”
One of the RV-ers from the campground was sitting at a table nearby, and she suddenly piped up, frowning at Hayden. “Are we…are we all in danger or something? Should we go home now?”
While many of his vampires began striding toward the half-open barn door, Hayden gave the gray-haired woman who’d spoken a small smile, although it didn’t reach all the way up to his eyes. “No. No one has to go home, and no one is in danger. We just have little issues with property lines and security here on the farm from time to time. It’s really no big deal.”
Sitting beside the first woman who’d spoke, Berniece now chimed in. “Well, good, because I’m not leaving this farm tonight without having a s’more!”
Hayden gave her a broad, genuine smile and told her to enjoy. On the karaoke stage, the volume of the background music suddenly increased, and Jen began warbling some old country song. Conversation picked up again, and the sound of a few people laughing from somewhere across the barn finished officially shifting the mood from tense back to upbeat and joyful.
I was maybe the only one who wasn’t feeling the positive shift. More than a bit disappointed that Hayden had to leave, I stood to say goodbye to him.
After kissing me hastily, he spoke in a low voice near my ear. “My northernmost patrol scouts brought word to Abbott that a small group of Warrens has been spotted just a mile or so from the farm. Probably spies. We need to go try to trap them and then try to find out what they know about any impending attack. Then we’ll deal with them.”
I knew that by “deal with,” Hayden meant kill.
I asked him when he might be back, and he said he didn’t know.
“As soon as I can. That’s all I can say. Just know that in the meantime, you and everyone else here on the farm will be safe. I’m leaving Sam and at least a dozen of my other fighters here to keep an eye on what is going on here while the rest of us go deal with things.”
Without saying anything else, Hayden gave me another hasty kiss before striding away, leaving me to deal with my disappointment about our “night of reconciliation” being cut short.
CHAPTER SIX
Despite the fact that the barn was now pretty empty, at least compared to how packed it had been, the party continued on. In fact, the twenty or so RV-ers that remained actually seemed to become even more energetic in their partying now that there was more space in the barn. While Jen sang country karaoke, many of the RV-ers began line dancing again, whooping and hollering. A few other RV-ers, all men, sat up to the bar with bottles of beer, laughing and periodically clapping each other on the back. Not feeling much like dancing or singing myself, I sat at a table alone, sipping my Shirley Temple and nibbling on my dinner, even though my appetite had kind of left along with Hayden.
Soon the few remaining vampire parents and a half-dozen or so sleepy young kids, who’d been playing games for candy and prizes in one corner of the barn all evening, left to go home. Carol had already taken a still-sleeping Chrissy back up to the main house just after Hayden had left. This had freed up Mel to join her fellow vampires in the hunt for the Warren spies.
Sam and the other vampires who remained outside soon got a bonfire going, and most everyone moved out to sit on logs around it and make s’mores. It was ten-thirty at this point, and the clear summer sky was a velvety midnight blue studded with stars.
After helping everyone to load roasting skewers with marshmallows, Jen sat down next to me with her own loaded skewer, saying that she’d roast marshmallows for us both. “I need something from you in exchange, though.”
I asked her what it was, and she hesitated, glancing around, before speaking in a low voice.
“Well…remember how last night, I told you and Mel and Carol that the Warrens will never attack at night, because that’s just too obvious?”
I nodded, and she continued.
“Well, I still think I’m right about that, even though some Warren spies are around the farm tonight. Because, see, spying isn’t the same thing as attacking, right?”
I agreed that it wasn’t, and she spoke again.
“Okay, so, what I need from you is for you to back me up about this when Mel tries to say that I’m wrong, because I just know she’s gonna try to rub my face in this or something. She’s gonna be all like, ‘So, what were you saying about the Warrens not attacking us at night, Jen?’ or something else dumb like that. So, when she does, if you’re around, just please have my back, and just be like, ‘Well, spying isn’t the same thing as an attack, Mel, and if you had a brain you’d know that,’ or something like that. Okay?”
I said okay, and Jen heaved a little sigh, smiling.
“Thanks. See, with my perfect driving record, and me being right about Carla, and now with me correctly thinking that the Warrens will never attack the farm at night, I’m just kind of getting a little bit cocky over Mel, and I really like it. And I don’t want her to be able to take my cockiness down on a technicality or anything.”
I said that I unders
tood, and Jen bounced up from the log, smiling again.
“Thanks. See, it’s stuff like this that’s part of the reason why you’re my best friend, Syd. You’ve always got my back.”
Despite still feeling a little low from Hayden leaving, I managed to smile at Jen in return. “I know you’ve always got my back, too.”
Nodding, she pointed her marshmallow skewer at me. “You got that right. Chrissy’s, too.”
She began skipping over to the bonfire, momentarily dragging our marshmallows in the dirt a few times, because the skewer was longer than her short, slender little legs.
Bucky soon took her seat next to me, remarking what a lovely evening it was. I agreed, saying that the stars were so beautiful. We both fell silent briefly until Bucky spoke again.
“So, you think our girl Jen has got a tapeworm?”
I laughed. “Maybe. I’ve never seen anyone in my life eat like she does…and she does kiss Wanted on the mouth sometimes, which could probably give her any number of parasites.”
Wanted had been present at the party earlier, but Mark had taken him outside and had hooked his collar to a rope after his third attempt to climb up onto the buffet table, which he’d made despite the fact that Jen had steadily been feeding him bites of “people food” since before the party had even started. Apparently, she hadn’t been feeding him fast enough for his liking. Now unhooked from his rope, Wanted was trotting from RV-er to RV-er around the bonfire, clearly reveling in all the petting and attention people were giving to him.
In response to what I’d half-jokingly said about Jen possibly having picked up some kind of a parasite from Wanted, Bucky smiled, deepening the wrinkles around his eyes. However, when his smile had faded, his expression changed to one much more serious, and he dropped his gaze to the dirt at our feet for a long moment before looking at me again and speaking in a quiet voice.
“My wife and I have already grown to care about Jen a great deal, and I’d be lying if I said that we’re not a bit worried about her. All the other kids living on this farm, too, including your daughter.”
Baffled, I asked him why he was worried, and he again dropped his gaze to the dirt for a moment before responding.
“I’ve been able to infer a few things from Jen, and some of my suspicions were confirmed by what your husband said earlier…about ‘security’ and ‘property lines.’ And all I can say is…well, no good can come from whatever feud your group has got going on with the other Mennonite group or groups around here. These things can quickly become violent, you know. And with no way to defend yourselves…no firearms or anything….”
“Well…we don’t really need them.”
“Oh, I know. Your people don’t believe in them. You’re generally a peaceful people, and that’s good. It’s just that when tempers begin to flare….”
Uncomfortable as I was, I tried to muster a smile. “We’re okay here, Bucky. I promise. We’re safe.”
He didn’t look like he believed me one bit. Which was possibly because I hadn’t said what I had with very much conviction. In fact, I still kind of felt like I wanted to flee the farm with Chrissy. I knew by then, though, that Hayden would never let me.
Bucky didn’t respond to what I’d said about everyone being safe on the farm, and instead, just turned his gaze to the bonfire and everyone roasting marshmallows around it for a few moments before looking at me again. “This other Mennonite group that seems to be giving you folks problems…your husband doesn’t ever want to go to the cops about the whole thing?”
Deeply uncomfortable, I gave my head a little shake. “Oh…he doesn’t think they’d be much help.”
“And he doesn’t ever want to purchase a firearm or two, just for self-defense?”
I shook my head again. “We really don’t need them. We have other ways of defending ourselves here on the farm.”
Fixing me with a pitying sort of look, Bucky sighed. “Look, Sydney. I can gather that your husband is the leader of the community, here. He seems awfully young to me to be leader of a pretty sizable group of people, but I’m sure he’s earned his spot. I’m not saying he hasn’t. What I am saying is that because he’s so young, maybe he just doesn’t fully understand how things could turn out if the other Mennonite group were to ever attack this farm with guns, and you all don’t have any to defend yourselves with.”
Now I sighed, finding it difficult to maintain eye contact with Bucky. “We’re safe here. We really are. I promise you.”
My words sounded hollow, even to my own ears.
Bucky looked at the bonfire again for a few moments before responding. “Jen says she’s not too concerned about her safety, but I think deep down, she is.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Well, for one thing, she’s tried to distance herself from your community identity, telling Phyllis and me that you all aren’t even really Mennonites. We figure this is just some sort of a desire to make whatever conflict that’s happening simply ‘go away.’ Kind of like a mental wish to not be a part of any group involved in a conflict that’s scaring her deep down.”
Not knowing what to say, I said nothing, and Bucky continued after a few moments.
“Maybe I’ve said too much here tonight. I certainly didn’t mean to insult your community or your husband in any way, if I have. I’m just concerned about my new granddaughter’s happiness and safety, is all. With her losing her mom a few years back, and with her strained relationship with her sister, it just seems like she has enough on her plate to deal with without having to worry about some rival Mennonite group attacking her home.”
Knowing that all Bucky’s concern was coming from a place of deep caring, I nodded. “I know. No one should ever have to worry about that. But please just trust me about this…Jen is safe here. We all are.”
Seeming to be deciding something, Bucky looked into my eyes for a long moment before kind of throwing his hands up with a sigh. “Well, all right. I’m sure you know much more about what, exactly, is happening on this farm than I do. You say Jen is safe—”
“She is.”
“And I guess I’m just going to have to take your word for it.”
Just then, before Bucky or I could say anything further, Jen came bounding over to us with a paper plate loaded with s’mores. She, Phyllis, Bucky, and I were soon indulging in the sweet treat, and Bucky didn’t say anything else to me about the conflict with the rival “Mennonite” group the rest of the night.
Jen’s older friends proved to have much more stamina than I thought they would, singing songs around the campfire while Jen danced all around, eating s’more after s’more; and the party didn’t really start breaking up until around eleven-thirty. All of the RV-ers gave me hugs before leaving, many of them saying they’d had the time of their lives. Berniece remarked that she’d never dreamed that a “Mennonite barn party” could be so much fun.
“I like how you folks don’t let your religious beliefs stop you from enjoying a little alcohol, too. I can certainly say that I enjoyed my two rum-and-Cokes tonight!”
Scoffing, although with her eyes twinkling, Phyllis piped up. “Oh, don’t lie, Berniece. You had three!”
Berniece laughed. “Oh, so what if I did? I’m not driving tonight!”
Once the bonfire was out, Sam, Jen, Wanted, and I began making our way up the darkened path that led to the house, and my thoughts wandered back to my conversation with Bucky. The truth was that, of course, most everything I’d said to him had been a lie. I wasn’t sure that everyone on the farm was safe, and in fact, I was still a bit salty that Hayden wouldn’t let me do what I felt I needed to do in order to protect our daughter, which was leaving the farm.
On the other hand, though, I was slowly starting to see his point and understand his reasoning. Even though remaining in a place of danger seemed counterintuitive to me, it actually made sense to keep Chrissy near Hayden at all times. Even if Chrissy and I left the farm and went a hundred miles away, we could still be attacked,
and without Hayden around, we’d then be in even worse trouble than if we’d just stayed on the farm.
When it came down to it, I supposed that the only reason I was still slightly irritated at Hayden was simply because for one thing, I didn’t like being told what to do, and for another thing, I’d wanted him to insist on me staying at the farm because he loved me. It had bothered me that he hadn’t specifically said this, and it still did.
However, thinking about this further while I walked up the trail with the rest of the group, I supposed that maybe Hayden insisting that Chrissy and I stay on the farm so that he could keep us safe was an “I love you” in and of itself. After all, if he didn’t love us with all of his heart, I figured he’d just let me go do whatever I wanted.
With all these different thoughts floating around in my brain, I only knew one thing for sure, which was that I was still deeply in love with Hayden, and wanted to repair our relationship and never again go three days without speaking to him. I’d felt like we were well on our way to fixing things when he’d been called away, which is what made it such a shame that he had been.
Now I was just eager to talk to him again, to see if he for sure felt the same way about our relationship as I did. Knowing that I might not get the chance to do that for hours caused a deep ache in my chest that only got worse when I went to bed that night, alone.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Frustrated, out of sorts, and a little anxious for no good reason, I couldn’t fall asleep until around two in the morning. Even then, I slept restlessly, kind of tossing and turning, and having frequent dreams. Some of them were more like borderline nightmares, like when I dreamed that someone was violently trying to pull me away from Hayden, but I couldn’t see who the person was. Then the dream kind of shifted or changed or something, and I saw that the person trying to pull me away from Hayden was a person who looked exactly like me. I had versions of this borderline nightmare for hours.
However, a dream I had sometime before waking in the morning was much more pleasant. In it, Hayden was right beside me in bed, holding me in his strong arms, and kissing me with increasing intensity. This dream went on for a while, but presently, I became aware in the dream that Hayden didn’t quite smell like himself. Instead of smelling of his usual woodsy, masculine, faintly citrusy scent that had the ability to nearly drive me insane in a good way, he inexplicably smelled more like wet dog or something. However, as if nothing was amiss, he continued kissing me in the dream, caressing the side of my face with his hand, which felt unusually soft and silky.
