by Jill Cooper
Thinking back, I remember how I pricked my finger, and for a brief moment, I was out of the dream. That’s what I need to do. I need to hurt myself so badly they have to take me off the machines, remove the needles, and ensure that I get medical treatment.
I leave Donovan and return to the bathroom. I check to make sure all the stalls are empty, then wedge the bathroom door shut. I take my fist and smash the mirror. It doesn’t break on the first try, so I keep going until it cracks. My knuckles hurt and are bright red, but they aren’t bleeding yet.
On the next hit, it shatters. My knuckles are gorged open, and I suck in my breath. I cradle my hand and see I have a piece of glass stuck in the open wound.
Instead of pulling the glass shard out, I wiggle it around. The pain makes me scream, which does the job.
The bathroom begins to fog up, and the next breath I take is with my real lungs.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
The real world hurts much worse than my gashed knuckle.
My back arches, and I scream, eyes searching the room. I see ceiling tiles, and then hands are on my arms, trying to still my movements. But I fight, every muscle in my arm contracting.
People all around tell me it’ll be okay, that everything will be fine, but I don’t believe them. They want to destroy me.
My arm comes free, and I scratch someone’s face. He screams and backs away. I try to sit up but can’t. I flail, but my arms are pinned down. Nothing works. There's no way out.
I hear Rex. I glance up and see his smug face, stroking back my hair.
“Dear Lara, you do know how to make things hard on yourself, don’t you?”
“You said this would be easy,” says Patricia’s familiar voice. She steps close enough for me to see her, arms crossed and face pinched in anger. “You said you could break her.”
“Nothing worth doing is easy,” Rex says and places a mask over my nose and mouth.
I take a deep breath and notice that it smells stale. I do my best to wiggle free, but I don’t know where I would go anyway. My mind blanks out again, but instead of darkness, there is nothing.
An absence of color. An absence of existing.
Just nothing.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
“Can you hand me that streamer?”
Blinking, my hands come into view. One is bandaged, and the other is holding a pink streamer. I hand it to my father, who is balancing up high on a ladder. The room is decorated all in pink. There are balloons, streamers, and a banner that reads Welcome our baby girl! I don’t know what’s going on. I remember being at school, at lunch, but after that, nothing.
I should be doing something else, something important, but what?
“Guests will be arriving soon. Why don’t you go get the punch ready?” Dad says as he hurries down the ladder. He moves it aside. “Hurry, Lara.”
My head snaps, and I rush to the kitchen. I get the punch bowl out of the fridge and look for cups and a ladle. After I set up the punch bowl on the table, the doorbell rings. Guests are arriving. I welcome them and take their gifts.
Once they all arrive, we dim the lights and quietly wait for Mom to arrive. She doesn’t see us when she first comes in. I think she looks beautiful in her simple sweater with her hair freshly styled from the salon.
I turn the light on, and everyone jumps out and yells, “Surprise!” Horns are tooted and confetti is thrown. Mom giggles and holds a hand to her chest. “Who decided it’s a good idea to scare the pregnant woman?”
“It was my idea,” I say and beam as she pulls me tight and hugs me. It’s great to be so close to her.
“You are my favorite, peanut,” she says and kisses the top of my head.
Dad comes in and squeezes us both in a group hug.
“I love group hugs,” I say and am so happy and content, I’m not sure if I want to be anywhere else ever.
***
After all the guests are gone, I take a phone call from Rick and then help Mom hang the baby clothes on tiny hangers. The dresses are so beautiful, and the pajamas are so soft. I can’t believe soon I will have a sister.
She gives me a small smile. “You were that small once, it’s hard to believe. Excited?”
“I always wanted someone to grow up with. I promise I’ll always take care of her.”
She sits down in the rocking chair with an uncomfortable expression on her face. “I know you will. That’s what is so amazing about you. You care so much. I never worry about your heart, Lara.”
I put the rest of the baby clothes away, and for a moment, an image flashes in my mind of a little girl’s locket. I rub my forehead.
“Are you okay?” Mom asks.
“Yeah, just a strange headache.”
Concern flashes across her face. “Why don’t you go lay down, and I’ll bring you some medicine.” She pushes herself awkwardly out of the rocking chair, while I go to my room.
The bed is comfortable, and my pillow is soft. On the nightstand, I see a photo of my tenth birthday. It’s a group picture of me, Mom, Dad, and a host of different kids that all were there for my party at the bowling alley.
I smile at it and touch the glass, remembering this same photo. But in that photo, it was me and Dad. Mom wasn’t around.
Because Mom was dead.
Memories and images from the last several days crush me like an oncoming freight train, leaving me paralyzed. All I can do is be still, think, and process the fact that the last few hours with my Mom, her friends, and our family was all make believe. I must get out of here and find my real Mom and Jax. So many people are worried about me, and let’s face it, I have no concept of time. I don’t know if I’ve been Rex’s prisoner for hours, days, or even longer.
How long has he been trying to extract the data from me? I have no more time to lose.
I tried cutting myself, but that didn’t quite get me the results I wanted. Now I am going to have to try something more extreme. But what?
Mom comes in and hands me two pills and a glass of water. “There, stay in here until you feel better. Then we’ll make popcorn and put on a movie.”
Sounds like a great idea, but it’s not one I can stick around for. She brushes my hair away from my forehead to kiss me. I close my eyes and feel the pain of mourning this reality, even though it’s only fictional. I wish I could stay here.
I ignore the pills as I swing my legs over the side of my mattress and think. Of all the things I could do to wake myself up, what would be severe enough that they would need to move me, get me off the equipment, and give my body a moment’s rest? My mind flashes back to the cafeteria menu of items I had to choose from.
Honey.
I walk past the bathroom where Mom is standing, clutching her belly. “John … Lara … I think it’s time!”
She’s only a hallucination, so I ignore her and march into the kitchen. I tear through the cabinets until I find the ones with spices and sugar. I push everything out of the way and smile as I grip the bottle of honey in my hand. I study the cute little plastic bear and flip the cap open. I remember when I was six and accidentally had honey, how painful it was. I swelled up, and my throat closed in a matter of minutes.
“I guess we had the baby shower just in time!” Dad says from the hall. “Lara get your coat, we have to get to the hospital.”
Putting the bottle to my mouth, I tilt my head back. I have no idea how much is too much, but I gulp back at least a teaspoon, probably more. It tastes sweet, delicious really, and traces of it stick to my tongue.
I can’t draw breath, and my cheeks begin to puff up. I don’t even try to call out to my parents, afraid they’ll have an EpiPen that will end my reaction. My heart races as my throat swells up so much I can’t swallow or even eke out a final scream.
The world begins to turn grey, and soon a seizure will come. I fall to my knees as I lose all sense of myself and balance.
“Lara!” Dad screams and pulls me back into his arms as my body shakes.
C
hapter Thirty
When my eyes open again, I am in a white sterile room with padded walls, wearing baggy pajamas. This time my room contains only my bed, a small sofa, and a table filled with magazines. There are no chains or restraints, which surprises me. It takes a moment for my legs to respond, but I am able to stand on my feet and steady myself with the furniture until I reach the table.
I find a newspaper beneath all the fashion magazines. It is crisp and has never been unfolded. The date makes me suck in my breath. If this newspaper is real, one month has gone by since I traveled back in time and changed the past.
That means I’ve been Rex’s prisoner for more than three weeks.
I put the paper down and jump back when the door opens. It’s an orderly, who appears to have a tray of food for me. I eye it suspiciously. He’s a big guy and barely glances at me as he slides it on the table. “Better eat up. They need your strength back.”
“Are they going to put me under again?”
He shrugs. A noncommittal frown on his face. “Doubt it. They said that approach isn’t working on you. They’re going to go another way.”
“Another way?”
He shrugs. “Not like they tell me anything. I’m here for the paycheck.”
“Yeah, thanks for that,” I say, and he leaves.
The door latches with a resounding echo. I tear into my sandwich because there’s a hole gnawing in my stomach. I am suspicious they could be trying to poison me, but I know they don’t want me dead.
I’m no longer in a fantasy world, which is good, but how can I break free of what seems to be a guarded facility? Physical strength won’t be in my favor, but I can time travel at will. That’s my biggest strength, but how do I use it to get out of here?
When the orderly came in, a key card was hanging from his belt hoop. I need to get that, lock him in my prison, and find Molly, all before anyone else realizes I’m free.
The room spins, and I feel as though I’m traveling backwards through space. Suddenly, I am staring at myself. She blinks when I do. I hear the click of the door, and we both turn to look.
“Better hurry and hide,” Lara says to me. “I’ll distract him.”
Sprinting into action, I stand against the wall, where the door will hide me. It swings open and stops short of hitting me in the face. The orderly comes inside and puts the tray of food on the table where he put it before. Lara smiles at him.
“Why are you smiling?”
“Because I am going to beat your ass.”
That’s my cue. I spring into action, leaping through the air, and my body slams into his. Lara pins his arms down, while I snatch the keycard from his belt.
“Hurry,” she says and begins to fade from existence. I run from the room before the orderly can get up and latch the door shut. I can tell from my surroundings I’m in what used to be a hospital. Of all the hospitals around, I can only think of one that was shut down—an old rehabilitation center.
I don’t know how long it will take them to realize I’m gone and have a key. The only thing I can do is keep moving and hope I can escape before they realize I’m missing. I need to find Molly and fast.
At the elevator, I find a directory, but there's nothing useful. I guess I was expecting a listing for Dangerous Lab or Prisoners Kept Here. I check all the rooms and find an unguarded office with a computer and a printer. I check it for a flash drive but find nothing. Swearing under my breath, I check through the drawers. The middle drawer has a hidden compartment that I manage to slide open. I find pens, paper clips, and a simple flash drive. I take it, stick it in the laptop, and check its contents. I can’t read anything off of it, which I consider a good thing. This must be what I’ve been looking for.
Scanning the laptop’s hard drive, I find private correspondence between the Senator and Rex, recorded conversations, financials, everything that links them together, including the deed for the hospital’s property in Patricia’s name. I copy everything to a folder, and while counting the seconds, I move it over to the flash drive.
Once it’s finished, I snatch the drive and slip it into my pocket. I rush out of the office, right into Rex’s waiting arms.
“You think we didn’t know you would try this?”
My sneakers skid on the floor as I try to gain ground, but his arm clamps around my neck and begins to squeeze. I can’t breathe! I try to bite his neck and scratch his forehead as hard as I can but to no effect. The guy is strong, tough, and trained to withstand a lot more than I can throw at him.
I think of his office, and suddenly, I’m standing in it again, snatching the flash drive from the laptop. I open the door, and instead of being seized by Rex, I kick him in the balls, and he bends over to clutch at himself.
I scoot past him and run down the hall. “You’ll never reach Molly in time!” he screams.
But I’m already in a full sprint.
The bottom floor is crawling with guards, white coats, and enough people to know what I’m trying to do is beyond impossible. I duck against a wall and slide into an old examination room. I grab an old rusted scalpel from the assortment of tools laid out. I need to find Molly, now. I wait for an orderly to walk by. Snatching him, I throw him down onto the ground, cover his mouth, and hold the scalpel to his throat, gritting my teeth.
“Tell me what I need to know, or I will shove this in your throat. If you try to scream, I won’t think twice. Understand?”
With eyes wide he nods his head.
“Where are they holding the little girl? Where?” I remove my hand and watch him lick his lips. He takes a long, shallow breath.
“Second floor, room 215.”
Letting him go, I run toward the elevator as an alarm is triggered, probably by the orderly. As I run down the hall, a gunshot rips through my shoulder. I grunt and realize this isn’t going to work. I think of an office.
I rip the flash drive from the laptop and this time knock Rex out with a paperweight … I sprint to the elevator and go to the second floor instead of the first.
Molly’s room is unguarded. Everyone is probably out looking for me; they won’t suspect I found her so easily. Inside, she is strapped to a gurney and is unconscious. I push my alarm down and rush to her. I unstrap her arms and legs, take a moment to check for her locket. It’s still there with the microchip still attached. I lift her unconscious body in my arms and give her a squeeze.
“Wake up,” I beg in a whisper.
She only moans, but her arms wrap around my neck.
We empty into a hallway, and I hear the skidding of feet as people charge our location. I run for the emergency exit. Nurses are charging from all sides, grabbing at my sleeves, but I am pumping as hard as I can. I’m at full tilt, and nothing can stop me as Molly sobs and buries her face into my neck.
“Lara? I want Mommy!”
“Me too,” I whisper, huffing for breath as I charge up the hill.
I see a subway stop not far away, but I also see a yellow cab parked on the curb. I open the passenger door and shove Molly inside. I jump in and scream, “Drive!” I glance back as the car shifts out of park. Men in suits run for their cars, and with them is Rex.
“Where to?”
“Police station. The closest one you can find.” Molly lies in my arms, and I hug her.
She whimpers. “I was so scared.”
I kiss the top of her head and see her locket glistening in the sunlight. I flip the heart pendant open and see the tiny computer chip I embedded against the gold.
“Me too.” I smile. “But now we’re all going to be okay.”
Chapter Thirty-One
The police question me for what feels like hours. Molly sits on my lap and won’t move or go anywhere, her face still buried in my hair. No one will tell me anything about where anyone is or what is going on, but they take the flash drive from me, and I hear talk about getting an arrest warrant. I hope that means Mom and Jax will be found soon and rescued.
I don’t know whether I’m safe, if
I’ll ever really be safe, but I think for now Rex and Patricia are going to have enough problems on their hands without coming for me or Molly.
The police are nice to Molly and give her soda. She sips it as I pull the hair away from her face and cover her in kisses. She smiles, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
Behind me I hear a terrified voice scream, “Lara! Molly!”
We both turn and see Mom running toward us, and Jax too, lingering in the background. They seem ragged from their captivity. We are out of the chair like a lightning bolt running toward their arms.
The hug is so intense we all fall on the floor. I swing my arm over her and squeeze. I was desperate to be with Mom all this time, and now I have her. She pulls my hair back.
“Oh, Lara. You were right, about your father, Jax, everything. I’m so sorry.”
I press my lips together and glance at Jax over her shoulder. “I wasn’t right about Jax. I was wrong. He loves us. He does.”
Her face shows she’s not sure about that, and I guess I can’t blame her, but I hope I haven’t torn our family apart. I hope maybe my dad can become part of it somehow. As Mom rocks Molly in her arms I consider how everything I did was worth it.
The police behind me mobilize. They’re going after the Senator. They’re going to bring her in, and I hope it’s enough to stop Rex. I hope for a while maybe we’ll all have some peace.
“Can I see Dad?”
Mom nods and strokes my hair. “He’s going to be acquitted, like you always wanted. Everything you did for him, you proved he was innocent, and I … should've listened too. I’m sorry, Lara.”
As Molly lies against Mom’s chest, I realize I can’t wish her away any more than I could wish myself away. I need her in my life as if she had always been part of my family.
