by Jill Cooper
Rex sucks on his bottom lip. “You have your orders. Time for you to get ready for tonight.”
I watch Mom go and wonder what happens tonight, but I don’t say anything as the door closes behind her. It leaves Rex and I completely alone. My mind drifts back to when I met Mom in the coffee shop all those months ago when I first found out I was pregnant. She gave me a message. I thought it meant that in the real world she remembered I was her daughter.
But none of it happened?
It was all part of my virtual reality prison? Real life didn’t feel so real anymore. I didn’t want any part in it.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Rex says. “How cruel I am to rip your family apart like this, but it could just be temporary. We can plug you back in. Donovan can be discovered fine and your baby, we can place her in your arms. You can go on to have a healthy relationship with both your parents again. Hell, even get them back together if that’s what you want, Lara.”
I don’t say anything because to speak would be dangerous. I turn to the window and gaze outside.
Rex stands close behind me. He’s so close now, I can feel his breath on my hair. “Your arms are aching to hold her, aren’t they? We can make it a reality, more than this ever was. What is left for you in this world anyway, Lara? A mother so under our control she no longer remembers you? A dead boyfriend? The virtual world we’ve created for you answers all your prayers.”
Tears leak out my eyes as my heart is torn apart by Rex’s truths. “It’s not real.”
“It’s real enough.” Rex pulls my hair off my neck and kisses my soft flesh. “For you, it’s real. More real than this. Certainty holds more promise than the present offers you here.”
“What do you want from me?”
Rex gives a brief laugh. “There’s a senator who is opposing Patricia’s call for loosening time travel restrictions. He was the tie-breaking vote last week and, now, let’s just say that Senator James isn’t happy. All we need you to do is go back in time and make sure he doesn’t make it to the senate hearing to cast his vote.”
“You want me to kill him?” My stomach free falls.
“Yes.” Rex says it coolly with no regret or restraint in his eye.
I feel sick and it’s not because I think he’s despicable, it’s because I want to give in. My heart wants to give him what he wants. I want to say yes, but I can’t. My eyes train on the summer scene folding out in front of me.
“I can’t travel in time anymore.” My voice is meek.
“Oh, c’mon Lara. We know you can. I’ll remove the restraint chip from your brain and then you can do what we ask. Then I’ll plug you back into your virtual world and it’ll be like you never left.”
I bite my lip. “What if I change the future and you don’t remember your promise? What if I don’t get my family back?”
“Well, remind me then. I am not unreasonable. C’mon then, just say yes. You know you want to.”
“All right.” I take a shaking breath. “All right, I’ll do it.”
When I turn, Rex is smiling and it sickens my stomach. Two guards enter the room and he speaks to them over his shoulder. “Ready phase three, Lara is finally ready to play ball.”
Phase three, I wonder what phase two was then? Then I get it. Phase two was getting me to this place. Vulnerable and confused. Unable to decipher what was real anymore between what was imaginary. I didn’t even care. All I cared about was my baby. I wanted to see her, even if she wasn’t real. Even if she didn’t exist.
Home is the only place I want to be.
I am willing to do anything to get back there. Only now, instead of home being a cozy room by a fire, home is the prison of my own mind.
And I can’t find the will to even care.
****
I am in no condition to time travel and do what Rex wants me to do so I am given time to clean up. I shower and get dressed in a stylish purple dress that complements my brown curls. Of course I have a chaperone and someone to help me do my hair and makeup. It’s like they don’t trust me to do it myself.
Not that I blame them because I wouldn’t trust me either. I can barely look at my reflection because it’s perfect. I don’t see the puffy face in the mirror I got used to seeing when pregnant. I don’t see the big, round belly. Nothing here is as it should be, even if this is the part that’s real.
Real, imaginary.
I’m tired of thinking of it all. I just want to forget and if can do that, I think I’ll be most happy.
After a quick snack, I sit on my hospital bed. They hook a cable into my USB jack and I wait for my chip to be deactivated. When it is, I can tell something is different. The colors are more vibrant and when people move it’s like a trail of color is left behind them, like an airplane tail.
When the door opens, it is Patricia James herself.
I suck in my breath. I haven’t seen her since, well, I’m not even sure when. A year? Maybe longer at this point. And it’s a little awkward since I killed her in the virtual reality.
Her heels click along the tile and she tosses a manila folder down into my lap. If she feels anything for me at all, pleasure or hate, I can’t tell.
“What’s this?” I open the folder and see photos of a blond man. He is probably in his thirties. Good looking and a suave dresser in fancy suits. There are also photos of a wooded area and a series of classic cars.
Patricia crosses her arms and studies me. “Marcus O’Reily. It might disgust you, but you need to stop him. If you do, you can go back to the little play world Rex has set up for you. Why he bothers, I don’t know. I’d rather just be rid of you.”
I put the folder down. “You need me.”
Patricia laughs like I said something horribly funny. “Please.” She spits out the words in haste. “Not much longer, we’ve been successful with our experiments. Soon, we will have our own time travelers, ones we can actually control and predict. We won’t need you.”
“And then you’ll what, kill me?” Like that answer should surprise me.
“If you prove not to be useful, yes. I’ll deal with Rex one way or another.”
I don’t understand why Rex wants to keep me around, not like I am going to admit that to Patricia. But I also wonder why he went through so much trouble when all I did was cause him and the people he worked for grief. I wonder, too, why he doesn’t just strip my mind of my memories like he has done my mother. Rex is a bad guy, I get that, but something about what he’s doing doesn’t make sense.
Two guards enter the room and Patricia speaks to them over her shoulder. “Secure her in the cage.” To me, she adds, “don’t try anything funny, Ms. Montgomery. We will be monitoring you.”
She slaps her hand into mine, leaving a vial behind. When I tilt it side to side, blue liquid sloshes inside. This is it, a portion of poison that will smoke out a good man from the world. I’ve agreed to do the devil’s work.
If Patricia James is Satan, I just became her minion.
Chapter Eleven
They take me down the hall toward my cage where I will be monitored and sent to travel back in time to stop Senator Marcus O’Reily from voting against Patricia James. As we make our way there, I can’t help but gaze down the hallways and the series of steel doors that are locked tight. Not only that, but they are under heavy guard.
What secrets could they be hiding in those doors?
My cage is as I have left it. For me it feels like months since I’ve seen it, but in reality it has only been a few weeks. I move my magazine out of the way to sit down on the bed and I uncover a pink sticky note in my handwriting.
Take me.
Underneath it is a ball point pen in a shiny, golden case. I take it and slide it into my pocket before anyone else can see it. Gazing around the room I check to make sure everyone is calm and I am satisfied no one saw my sleight of hand.
The implications that I am able to travel in time to leave myself notes is huge. It means at some point I have been able to travel back without being
monitored. I was successful.
If I was successful once does that mean I can be successful again?
I lay down on the bed and Delilah enters the cage. She puts the usual sensors on my head and my finger. She strokes back my hair and I think it’s just the usual setup process, but I can tell behind her green eyes she’s nervous. My eyes follow her as she busies himself with checking my cables and the usual monitors around me.
But then Delilah leans down to my ear. Her mouth is right against my skin and she focuses on the wires her fingers fiddle with. “They can’t really monitor you,” she whispers. “They’re faking. They’re trying to use you to figure out HOW to monitor you. This is all preliminary data.”
I try to keep my expression neutral, but I draw a shaking breath and my chest rises and falls with the release of air. Delilah leaves as footsteps approach and I wonder why she would risk telling me this. I guess I really do have a friend on the inside, but will it be enough to warrant an escape?
“Are you ready?” Rex asks and peers through the glass at me.
I’m vulnerable and exposed. I feel young and little under his watchful gaze, but I hold it and I nod. My hand holds the picture that Patricia James gave me and I study the photograph—the towering brick estate, the red classic car that sits in the driveway and the way the bumper shines like it was buffed by someone who loves it very much.
“What’s the matter? Nervous?”
“I never traveled to a different place before.” Why would I even answer? Why make myself even more vulnerable to the man who has systematically ruined my life?
“I’m sure you can do it, Lara. And if you can’t, you just try again until you get it right.” Rex gives me a sickening smile. “Photographs have always helped you on simulations so now why don’t you give it a try and see where it takes you?”
Sage advice from my uncle. My brow creases and I stare into the photograph. My breath catches in my throat as I study the individual green leaves on the trees. In the picture they seem to be blowing as a gentle breeze pushes past. A tendril of my hair tickles my hair as it blows right past me, too, and a leaf catches on my hair.
It’s happening.
My surroundings swirl and one by one everything is replaced by what was in the picture. I’m not laying down anymore, instead I’m standing in the driveway. There are small children with their mother about to get into the car, but they are frozen in place with their hands on the door handle.
In the doorway is Marcus O’Reily, his hand suspended in mid-air in a frozen wave goodbye. He must be a new senator, fresh blood, because he’s younger than I expect with soft, blond hair and tender, blue eyes. If he’s a day over thirty-two I’d be surprised.
I move past them all and duck behind the side of the house farthest away from the car. From here I can see a gazebo and a playground structure that rivals anything I ever played on in my days growing up in Boston. I don’t even know where I am, but I see a recycle bin sitting not too far in a servant entrance.
I go over to it and smooth the paper. I’m two days in the past and in Virginia right outside of DC. When I smooth my hand over the newspaper, everything snaps back to life around me. The wind blows and a bird tweets. Off in the distance I hear squeaky little voices. “Goodbye, Daddy!”
I smile at the sound of such sweetness, and here I am ready to stall their father on something he should be doing. All because I’m Patricia James’ prisoner. It’s not right and neither are my actions. But if I don’t do what they want, my family is dead.
And so is Marcus O’Reily.
The front door shuts as the car speeds off and it’s time for me to do my job. It’s time to get to work.
I read the headline of the paper. SENATE SET FOR HISTORIC VOTE ON TIME TRAVEL. EVENTS SUGGEST TIME TRAVEL DISCOVERIES by THE REWIND AGENCY HAVE STABLIZED BRAIN FUNCTION.
That was all because of me.
I haven’t gone back in time to save my mom… But I can’t second guess what I’ve done. It’s done and I can’t undo it, not after meeting her and getting to hug her. Not after I met Mike and Molly. This is my new future, I just need to deal with it. Find a way to live with it.
My jaw clenches and I fold the paper up and put it under my arm. The vial of poison in my pocket may as well be a hundred pounds for how it weighs on my soul. I’m supposed to kill Marcus, but what if I warn him instead? What if he agrees to work with me?
Maybe I could use him. Just maybe I have found myself an ally.
I head up the front steps and ring the doorbell. There isn’t an immediate answer, so I knock.
Marcus is fastening his tie when he pops the door open. “Can I help you?”
“Car trouble.” I smile. “Would it be all right if I use your phone? My cell battery died a half hour ago.”
“Sure. Come on in.” He stands out of the way. A trusting fellow, he leads me down the front steps into the foyer of his home. It’s sweeping and grand, like a giant train station. But a train station has never held so many exquisite crystal chandeliers, and the gold and white finishings that line the entry make me afraid to even breathe.
My eyes sweep around the room and he pays close attention as he motions to the phone. “You’ll have to forgive me for being short, I leave soon for DC.”
Part of me thinks I can do it. I can find a way to poison him, but as my finger touches the vial, something else comes out of my mouth. “I know who you are, Senator O’Reily, and I need your help.” I touch his arm. “I’m Lara Crane.”
His eyes shift, but they are hazy.
“Lara Montgomery.” I correct.
Marcus scowls. “Miranda’s daughter? Your name was in the newspaper a few months ago.”
“What did it say?” I hold my breath.
He shrugs. “You went missing. Everyone did; your mother, your kid sister. No one knows where you went, but the Rewind Agency said something about an extended vacation.”
“They’re lying,” I spit out and anger creeps up my neck and across my cheeks. “They’re…” I can’t say what I want to because it’s too much, too soon. “I’m in trouble. Big trouble.”
“Well, we can call the police if there’s a problem.” He puts his hand on the phone and I put mine on his.
“That’ll get my family killed. The Rewind Agency isn’t what it seems. You’re right about them, senator. You’re right to block them in the senate.” I put the paper down and Marcus’ eyes glide across the words.
“I don’t know why you’re here.” His cheeks huff. “I don’t know why you’ve come here or what you expect me to do.”
“I’m here because Patricia James wants me here. I’m here because in two days you cast the deciding vote against her in the Senate. You filibuster, or whatever you guys call it, and it stops the changes she wants to make to the time travel law. She sent me here to kill you.”
Holding out my hand, I show him the vial.
Marcus sucks and I watch the wheels in his brain spin and the realization of everything I have just said turns into confusion on his face. “You’re from the future. Is that what you’re saying?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying.”
Marcus scratches his head. “Time travelers are monitored. They can’t change the past. You’re just supposed to be a hologram.”
“Supposed to. But that operation is just a cover for what James really wants. She wants to change the past, wipe people’s memories to make them better. And along the way she’s going to power grab as she goes. If people get in the way, she’ll just delete their opposition, remove who they really are.” I struggle not to think of my mother and her loss of self, but it’s hard.
Damn hard.
“And you have proof of this?” he asks me with deep suspicion. I can’t say I blame him.
“I did. I had proof of murder, conspiracy. Everything. I had folders full of proof Patricia put a hit out on my mother and a reporter who helped me piece this all together, but it’s all gone. When the Rewind Agency kidnapped me, th
ey took it all away.”
His face is neutral and it’s impossible for me to read. “I can’t take this all just on face value.”
I need to get him to believe me, but I don’t know how.
Marcus thinks and his eyes shift left and right. “Prove it.”
“Prove it?” My face twists into a scowl.
“Go back in time and show me you can do it.”
I snort. “I can’t take passengers.”
Marcus takes a piece of paper out and jots down some information. He hands it to me. 2014 Berkley City Club
My eyebrows raise. “What’s this?”
“That’s where I am ten years ago. Go there. Find me and make a lasting impression. If you can do that, then when you come back I’ll remember you. I’ll know you’re not making this all up.”
That would work and it’s not like I don’t have the time. I have all the time in the world. I nod.
“I’m at a house party my parents are throwing to cement my political career.” Marcus stares me down. “Don’t ask, it was a long time ago.”
“All right. You don’t happen to have a photograph, do you?” I see hesitation on his face. “I’ve never been there before, I can’t just go. I’ll end up in the ocean or something.”
Marcus heads to the library and when he returns, he’s carrying a college year book. He flips it open to the middle and spins it around so I can see it. The ocean and sail boats fill the page and the mirror page has a picture of the Berkley City Club. I can see the stairs and the glass doors.
The moment of truth.
If Rex is telling the truth, I’m about to be yanked painfully back to the future. If they were lying, like Delilah said, then I should be able to do this without any repercussions.
My breath is steady and even, but my heart gallops inside my chest. I close my eyes and I smell the sea water, salt, and there’s a mist on my face.
When I open my eyes I am staring straight up at the glass doors. It is just like the photograph, except it’s in color. I stand taller, like a different person, and head over to the yacht club where the party is being held.
