by Jill Cooper
A low rumble of laughter erupts from the class and I keep my head down, bat my pencil on the edge of the desk. Before I changed the past I was used to being an outsider, but not like this. It was worse than before.
“Heard you’re a ‘person of interest’ in a murder investigation.” Dirk Williams says, using air quotes. “Did you do it?”
“Yeah,” Kat leers and snaps her gum, “did you really pop your uncle?”
When the teacher comes into the room everyone sits to attention toward the front of the room and I’m glad. Relieved. Beside me my lab partner, Beatrice Miller, is staring at me as she opens her book.
“You have something you’d like to add?” My voice has a low tremor to it.
She just shakes her head and her ponytail swishes. “No…Just—feel bad. They shouldn’t—you should stick up for yourself more.”
There’s something I never thought anyone would tell me, but here in school, I’m no longer in my element. If I’m not fighting against bad guys, I just don’t know how to behave. These kids are just that, kids. My age. They don’t know what I’ve been through. They have no idea what it’s like to be locked up in a cage, desperate to see your family.
And that’s the way it should be even if they laugh at me because of it.
We take the test and I’m not sure if I remember ever reading about this stuff before. It’s hard to care about school with everything else going on. But maybe Kat was right. Maybe tomorrow I’ll get the right answers and then come back here and do it all over again. Talk about a total break of the rules.
Beatrice stands as we pack up our bags. I never really noticed her before, but she’s kind of cute in her oversized black glasses. Her high tops are neon colors and really stand out for a shy girl.
“How do you think you did on the test?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. How about you?”
It’s my turn to be unsure. “Flunked real bad, I bet.”
Beatrice laughs through her nose and it scrunches up all small. “If you want, I mean today, if you want you could—I mean we could sit together at lunch?”
Someone that actually wants to be friends with me. “That’d be nice.” I smile. “Sure.”
We walk out of the room together and Beatrice talks about movies, things she likes to do, and it’s nice to have a friend again. I forgot what it was like. All I ever have is time travel drama, sure I have a boyfriend, but I don’t have any friends. Any friends Lara Montgomery used to have long gave up on her.
“Well, my class is this way so I have to head. I’ll meet you in the cafeteria later.”
Beatrice nods and her glasses slip to the tip of her nose. “Don’t worry about those kids, you know? They’re just jealous.”
“Of me?” I shake my head and think that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard.
“Totally. You have this amazing power and they can’t handle it. So just, well don’t let them get to you.” She gives me a sad grin and ducks her head down and goes the other way.
Beatrice is right. It’s nice to know someone so wise. There’s a quiet calm about her that I like. Heck, I totally need that sort of influence.
My life? Totally not calm.
****
Lunch is giant meatballs subs and I devour mine. I can’t get enough of real food, real meals, being held captive does that to a person. If I never see another j-ello cup or baloney sandwich, it’ll be too soon. Talking with Beatrice is nice. I laugh and almost forget all of my troubles except Donovan still hasn’t returned any of my messages.
I want to skip out and find him, but if I miss any more school, Mom is going to hand me my head on a platter. So I force myself to be a good girl, to stay and pay attention, but the anxiety is racing through me. When that happens, my leg bounces and I can’t stop tapping my finger on the desk.
The teacher gives me a level look and I cringe, just as time slows itself right down. I’ve gotten so nervous, time around me is running at half speed. I let out a deep breath as the chalk slowly falls from his hand and does a free fall to the floor. Rubbing my eyes, everything snaps back into place with a clap.
It’s like thunder.
No one even notices what I can do. When the bell rings, it’s a welcome respite to everything. I pack up and get out of there as fast as I can. If only I could jump forward in time to where I’m with Donovan again, then everything would be better.
It takes a half hour to get to the giant James estate. I walk past the stone fence and walk up the driveway. On the lawn is a for sale sign even though it’s nearly impossible to see from the road. The house is one of the most beautiful stone homes you’d ever see with giant windows and an old world charm to it.
I was so in awe of it the first time I saw it. Lined with chandeliers and antique furniture, it’s like a glorious museum. But soon it’ll be going away with Patricia being held for trial in some other location that isn’t this one. The James family would soon be divorced and I hope Patricia goes away for a long, long time.
Ringing the bell I wait and it only takes a few moments for Mr. James to open the door. Donovan’s dad is in relaxed trousers and a button shirt, but there are dark circles under his eyes. “Lara.” He greets me warmly and steps out of the way so I can enter.
Inside the walls are bare, most of the paintings sold, and there are boxes clustered together in small stacks, almost like a tower made of Lego bricks. From the entryway I can make out some movers in the living room dressed in blue jumpers packing out the delicate James’s mementos.
“Excuse the mess.” He says as he closes the door.
“Oh, it’s no worry. Is Don around?”
Mr. James nods. “In his room. He…doesn’t want to come out much.”
“Is he sick? He didn’t return my texts. I was worried.”
His face is lined with worried creases. “Physically he’s fine. Things have been tough here, for him. I’m doing the best I can, but I’m not sure it’s enough.” Mr. James sighs like the weight of all of Patricia’s crimes might crush him, like he’s responsible. “But I think you can cheer him up.”
“I’ll try.” Truth be told, I really liked cheering Donovan up. “Thanks, Mr. James.” I leave him there and head up the grand staircase. Upstairs there are just as many boxes as downstairs. When I get to Donovan’s room, the door is closed. I rap my knuckles against it gently.
“Go away, Dad.” Donovan’s voice is soft, but there’s a trouble tone to it.
“It’s me. Lara.”
It only takes a moment for Donovan pull the door open. We’ve been through a lot lately, but to see his hair out of place and his nice shirt not tucked in, rattles me. He’s always been so together and suave, but now his eyes look so tired.
They light up a little when they fall on me, and that at least is something. “You shouldn’t be here.”
I sigh and stroke his hair out of his face, my fingers delicately grazing his forehead. “Where else would I be?”
He takes my hand and pulls me into his room. The walls are barren and the bookcases are empty. Almost everything’s been packed away except for his bed and TV. On his desk is a framed photo of me.
“I just…didn’t want you to see me like this. I’ll be better tomorrow.” Donovan raises his eyebrows with his promise.
“I was worried when you didn’t answer my texts.”
Donovan’s eyebrows pinch together. “Sorry, I—didn’t even check my phone.” He sighs. “I just couldn’t deal with it today. The staring at school. The whispers. I needed to hide for a while.”
I press my palm to his cheek. “You don’t have to hide from me. I want to help you through this, just like you’ve helped me.”
He goes and sits on his bed, stares out the window at the pool and gardens that surround the back of the house. “Looks perfect out there, doesn’t it? I always thought I was so lucky to be a James. Had everything money could buy. Then I found you and it just completed the package.”
I sit beside him, but don’
t say anything. I just hold his hand.
“But it was a mirage. Phony. Everything my mother did to get all this? It was like blood money. She would’ve killed us both to keep her secret.”
His face is so haunted by those words. “We don’t know that. I think they wouldn’t have hurt you.”
“You’re a sweet liar, Rockstar, but I think we both know I wouldn’t have kept quiet. She would have done whatever was necessary.”
My heart thumps sadly for him. “Have you seen her? Since she was moved and placed under house arrest.”
Donovan shakes his head. “Hope I never have to see her again.”
I sigh and try to argue, but Donovan slides his finger onto my lips. “Just don’t. Not today. What she did to you and your family.” His eyes are so dark, I almost don’t recognize him. “Maybe one day I’ll be ready, but today all I can see is no.”
I rest my head against his shoulder and we stare out at the sky. It sure looks beautiful and holds so much promise. “Maybe we should head out of the city soon. Go for a hike or something over on the harbor islands. It’d be nice to get away and just center ourselves. What do you think?”
“I think that’s just what we both need.” Donovan strokes my hand and we enjoy each other’s silent company for a few minutes.
We lay on his bed. I curl up on his chest and listen to the thump thump of his heart. It’s soothing, normal. His arm cradles me against him and he kisses the top of my head. When his finger accidentally bumps the port in the back of my head his face goes serious.
“How’d you do it, Montgomery? How’d you survive those two years before you fixed all of this? All alone and what that monster did to you.” He shakes his head and anger manifests on his face.
I lean up on my elbows to look at him. “A lot of things, but mainly you. I knew if I hung on long enough, eventually I’d get back. Fix things. I just had to figure out how.”
Donovan’s thumb traces my lip. “All of the pain, seeing your family like that, I can’t imagine what you went through.”
“You weren’t locked in a cage, but that doesn’t mean you’re not going through stuff, too Don. I know you’re in pain. A pain I can’t fix, even with time travel.”
“Being with you does make it better.” He strokes my hair back and pushes me towards him. “I shouldn’t have avoided you today like I did. I’m sorry.”
My eyes flutter closed as the heat between us builds. “You don’t need to--.” My words cut off as our lips meet frantic, hurried. Donovan’s hand pressed against my lower back and I fall even deeper into him.
Our hands clinging to one another, he rolls me over and pushes me softly down into his pillows. “If you want me to stop,” he whispers, his hands caressing my hips.
I lock my wrists behind his neck. “I’m exactly where I want to be.”
His eyes flood with love before we come together as the sun beginning to set on us and the city.
Miranda Montgomery
“I can’t do this. I just can’t.” I push up from the kitchen table and storm out into the living room, leaving Alicia and Jax gawking at me.
She follows me, but I have no patience for talking. I pace with my hands on my hips. Everything is being ripped away from me. My job, my license, and now this. “I won’t let him stay here under this roof. Not after everything he’s done.” When she gives me that lawyer look I snap. “I won’t!”
Alicia sighs and crosses her arms. “All right, it’s better you get it out here instead of in court.”
I fume and I stop pacing long enough to glare at her.
“It’ll look better to the court if you and Jax are uninfied. Living together. A married couple. Happy doesn’t have to be part of the equation.”
“Good.” I bark at her. “Because I can barely stand to look at him. What he did to me? Lara?”
John. God damn it, what he did to John. What I fell for. I don’t know how I’ll ever forgive myself for what I let happen to him. He was railroaded and I let it happen. I didn’t know, I couldn’t have guessed, but still felt like my fault.
“There must be something about him you can focus on. Something good. You married him. Had Mike and Molly. He even adopted Lara so I know there must be something good about him you can focus on.”
I rub my forehead and take a deep breath. “He loves the kids. Loves Lara. I don’t know how he could sit there and talk about how guilty John was--.”
“Not now, Miranda.” Alicia voice is hushed and she takes my hands. “Once Patricia’s court case is over, once your immunity deal is signed and in the books, then you can do what you need to do. But not before then. The jury likes easy. Clean.”
The idea of it makes my skin crawl, but I think of Lara. I think of how devastated she’d be if Patricia goes free. What Patricia would do to us. So I nod and let it all go, but I’ll be damned if Jax is going to share a bed with me again.
“You and Jax can work it out. You both want Patricia to pay for what she did to you, Lara and a host of others so let’s get you through the next few weeks. Then you can think about the future.”
“Thank you, Alicia.” I hug her. “I don’t know how we’d get through this without you.”
She smiles and it’s radiant. “That’s why you pay me the big bucks. Sleep well. Eat something yummy and filled with calories. Take care of yourself right now and damn the rest.” Alicia grabs her coat as she heads outside.
I close the door behind it and can feel I’m not alone. I hear the floorboards creek behind me. With a sigh I turn around and gaze straight into Jax’s puppy dog eyes.
“You can stay, but you’ll take the guest room. I’ll go with you to the twins show next week, but we’re not husband and wife anymore. No matter what the papers say.”
I storm past him and he grabs my arm. Spins me around. I clutch at his claws on me. “Let me go, Jax. Or I’ll scream, so help me God I will!”
“Miranda, I know what I did—.”
“Unforgiveable.” My eyes are wide and harsh. They condemn him. “What you did to John? You lied to me. Lied over and over. Every time we stood there and told Lara to give up on her pursuit to free John, you lied. You watched us suffer and did nothing.”
Saying it makes it worse. So much worse. Not only for John and what was once our family, but for Mike and Molly. The foundation of their lives built on nothing but lies. How can I ever make that up to them?
Jax’s face falls and his grip loosens on my arm. “I thought I was protecting you and Lara. If you knew what really happened, Patricia--.”
“Cop out.” I want to hurt him. I want to shove him, claw at him. Make him hurt like he’s hurt me. “You knew what would happen if John wasn’t arrested. If he went free. My God, I was ready to run off with him and Lara, start over. You couldn’t stomach that, could you? I left you to save my marriage and you just couldn’t take it. Rex trying to kill me was convenient for you.”
He shakes his head. “That’s not true. It wasn’t like that.”
I snort and cross my arms. “From where I’m standing that is very much what it was like. And I’m sure if we were to ask John—.”
“Don’t.” Jax’s tone warns me off. “Don’t pull him into our fight. You’re my wife. Not his.”
“Not anymore. You fixed that up real good, didn’t you?” I turn, so I don’t have to look at him anymore. “You better go get the twins. They’ll be out of school soon. Take them somewhere. Park. Ice cream. I don’t care where.”
“Miranda,” his voice is soft. “We can fix this. I love you and Lara. You know I do.”
I do know. That’s why I feel like my heart is breaking. I love him too, but I can’t say it. Can’t even look at him. All I am is betrayed. That’s all I can feel when I look at him, our wedding photos on the wall.
It’s over. He broke it all. Now I’m just a former scientist who is out of work and doesn’t know what to do next. I’ve never known what to do. John took care of me when we were married and when that fell apart, I had Jax
.
Now I’m alone and somehow I need to stand on my own two feet. Lara and the twins need me to be strong, but I don’t know if I’ll ever be that again. In those early days when everyone was saying John hired someone to kill me, I had my mother. My family.
Everything’s been stripped away now and somehow I need to survive. I can’t let Lara see how destroyed I am. After everything she’s been through and seen, I need to take care of her. I need to protect her.
Jax goes to pick-up the twins and in those moments of solitude, I cry. My hand covers my mouth and my arm cradles my stomach. Everything hurts. The pain of another failed marriage, of losing Jax, is just too much. I never expected my life to go this way.
I was a one man type of girl and when I lost John—
The doorbell rings and I’m at once glad and horrified, like my private moments are disturbed. I wipe my face and fix my hair. I hope I look okay when I pull the door open.
And he’s there on the other side. In my most vulnerable I’m staring into the warm brown eyes of John Crane.
John Crane
Miranda’s been crying.
She covers it as she invites me inside, but she can barely look me in the eye. Those instincts to ask her what’s wrong and offer her comfort are hard to ignore. But it’s been ten years since she’s been my wife. Being in prison makes everything seem like a distant memory, but at the same time it feels just like yesterday we were tucking our baby girl into bed.
Leaving it all behind is hard. Damn hard.
“You look nice.” Miranda busies herself with fluffing the toss pillows on the sofa. I guess that’s easier than dealing with me.
“I had a job interview. Nothing much, just data entry, but I can do that. Lara’s been teaching me how to use the latest computer stuff.”
Her eyes are wide with surprise. “Oh, well that’s great. I didn’t think you needed a job after the settlement. Ten years…”
Ten years of being in prison equals a lot of money from the government. “Yeah, but it’ll keep me busy. I don’t like to sit on my hands.”
