by Jill Cooper
I lean forward. “You can tell me. I excel at stupid, Mrs. Jackson.”
Katie’s lips turn down as if she’s tasted something sour. “I’m looking in my freezer this morning to decide what I want for dinner. And…well, there’s no fish.”
Fish. It keeps coming back to the fish.
When I don’t say anything she continues. “I know that maybe I never did. Maybe I went to the market, maybe I decided at the last minute to buy fish even though we’re on a tight budget. Maybe I was trying to make things special. Maybe there was a sale.” Katie shakes her head and the pain she’s in, the way she’s torturing herself kills me.
I reach across the table and squeeze her hand.
She squeezes it back. “I know it’s not really about the fish. It was something else. Maybe he would have killed me even if I made his favorite meatloaf.” Her eyelids shutter as she squeezes them tight. “But I’ll never know. I’ll never get to ask him why because he’s gone.” She picks up a tissue and cries into it.
“He’s gone and I’ll never know why, Officer Winters.”
She was robbed of that final good-bye. That closure that all would-be murder victims deserve. My cheeks burn hot as I think about it, so I try not to.
“I’m sorry.” My mouth is dry. I feel like I shouldn’t have come. I’m just making it harder on her. I’m not sure I’ve even found out enough about Reynold to warrant that. “Can I get you anything before I go?”
Katie shakes her head no. “You’ve done enough. Thank you, for sitting with me. It’s very kind of you.”
As I stand I ask her a question. “Did your husband use a passcode for anything? A locker downtown? Or…”
“Only his computer.” She points over toward the older model holo projection screen where a USB stick computer would fit, but I don’t see anything. Katie reads my expression and gives a shrug. “They came and took it. Said it was evidence.”
Evidence? “The police?” I straighten up.
Katie shakes her head. “He said he was a lawyer. But he had a warrant so I just gave it to him.”
My chest is tight as I turn to leave her apartment. My eyes gaze upward at the door frame at the green shining light of the Rewind cameras.
If someone was there. If someone took it….
I’m going to be able to find out who and why.
I just hope I can find them before they find me.
****
I go into the heart of Rewind because I don’t want to risk going to the precinct and running into the captain. He’s already left me another message which I willfully ignore. I can’t get away with it much longer, maybe until the morning.
If I’m lucky.
The Prudential Tower, or as locals call it the ‘Pru’, is Rewind Headquarters and has been for twenty years. The two old escalators that used to lead up to the shopping areas are guarded by Rewind security. I flash my badge and then scan me into the system. Passing the checkpoint is easy and I don’t even need an excuse to be there.
But someone might ask questions so I run up the escalator to get started. Upstairs the old shopping areas are turned into offices and computer terminal stations. It’s crawling with people, a lot of who know me. I keep my head straight ahead and walk against the crowd and when I think someone might say something to me, I pick up the pace.
I turn right near the old Omni Theater and up a set of stairs. At the double set of doors a guard is standing watch. I toss my hair back and approach him with my shoulders square and even. “Officer.”
He scans my badge. “Nature of your business, Officer Winters?”
“Follow up on a case. For the testimony.”
His eyes study mine and settle into a nice glare. “Highly irregular.”
“Highly irregular case. Mr. Daniels has my back, if you want to call him to him.” I’m not sure I’ve ever tried such a high stake bluff right off the bat, but no one ever wants to both Xavier, especially about me.
I’m hoping my risk will pay off.
And it does.
The officer pushes a button and the door buzzes open. “You have ten minutes, Officer Winters and then I’m coming in after you.”
I smile my thanks and step inside.
The room is row and row of servers, but I hurry along to one of the communication stations. There are a few other officers there, observing and recording data, but that’s their job. I’m a patrol officer.
I have no reason to be there. The sooner I can get what I need and get out, the better it will be for me and my career.
Typing on the computer, I bring up the date, time and location I’m looking for. I don’t know exactly when the lawyer, if he was who he said he was, arrives at the Jacksons’ home, so I start at breakfast and fast forward.
When Katie gets up to answer the door, I slow down to speed X 2. She leaves the apartment and comes back with a visitor. It’s a man alright in a fine pressed suit and his back is to the camera.
He shows Katie a piece of paper and she unfolds it. Her face falls and then the man turns toward the camera. My heart quickens and I can’t draw breath and I freeze the frame.
“Not possible.” I whisper, almost breathless and zoom in.
But it is possible. It is completely possible because I am staring at Xavier Daniels’s personal attorney.
Jeff. My Jeff. The time stamp says he was there shortly before he called me.
I don’t know what to feel. I don’t know what to think, but I copy the video stream onto my link. Closing all the windows and files, I wipe away any trace I was there using the terminal. I push the chair in and start back toward the front.
But my legs are wobbly. I’m walking on air and I don’t know what’s right to feel, but right then I feel betrayal.
Small.
I pull the door open and step outside. The officer eyes me, but doesn’t say anything. “Thanks, Officer.” My voice sounds larger than I feel as I turn the corner and bump straight into him.
Xavier.
“Mr. Daniels.” I huff a laugh and tuck my hair behind my ears. How much trouble am I in now?
His grin doesn’t reach his eyes. “Why don’t you come with me?”
The way he says it, I know I don’t have a choice. “Yes, Sir.”
Future Cassidy
His office is up near the top floor and has panoramic view of the city. Even his desk is sweeping in size and scope. The walls adjacent to the windows are lined with certificates and awards.
We sit away from his desk on the blue sofa that wraps around the rear wall. On the coffee table in front of us is a tray for cream and sugar. I balance on my lap a napkin with biscotti and in my hand is white tea cup.
It’s all nice. Lovely. But I feel as if I’m slowly being led to my execution.
“Thanks for coming to chat. Getting older reminds you that it’s important to check in with family and friends once in a while.” Xavier sips his tea and his handshakes from old age. Once he was the best technician Rewind had, but his brain is still sharp.
I can’t afford to underestimate him if he’s involved in whatever is going on with Reynold Jackson. As an officer I’m taught not to jump to conclusions, but so far all evidence I’ve seen somehow hovers around him. So while I can’t prove it, I’m on edge. I know which direction I’m leaning.
“It’s my pleasure.” I sip my tea and put down the cup on the coffee table. “Feeling okay?”
“For an old man, yes.” Xavier’s face is relaxed and set in a pleasant neutral expression. “And you? How’s your grandma fairing at the old age home?”
“Pretty good. I see every Sunday for a few hours.”
Xavier nods. “You’ll have to be sure to tell her I said hello. We go way back. Once you reach my age, memories are all you have.”
I was sure of that.
“I’m sure you suspect this is more than a social call.” Xavier studies me as he says it and I try to remain neutral.
Earnest.
“I suspected as much, but I don�
�t know what it’s about. You always do serve the best tea.”
He laughs and wipes his hands on his pants. “Judge Thompson called me. I know about your…altercation in the courthouse. We can’t have outburst like that, Cass. No matter how emotional or hot you’re running.”
I duck my head down. “Yes, Sir.”
“You know if it was anyone but you we wouldn’t even be having this discussion. He would have had you on leave or worse, stripped of your badge. We can’t let our detractors see the system fighting itself.”
“I understand. I’m sorry. And thank you. For saving my badge, Sir.”
Xavier nods and his eyes glimmer. “Think nothing of it. You’re as important to Rewind as you are to me. One of these days we’ll figure out why your brain is the way it is. Why we can’t read you. I hope we can count on you until then to have your full support.”
“I love the system. I will never do anything but support it. Order is important, I know that.”
Xavier slaps my knee. “Good. So now if you could tell me why you’re visiting Reynold’s widow and snooping around in the video records archives we could consider this meeting a success.”
My face falls and my heart skips a beat. “Just…satisfying my own morbid curiosity, I guess. Trying to figure out what makes such a mild manned guy like that kill his wife.”
Inside I’m screaming to look away or to pick up my tea and fiddle with it. Do anything to get away from his eyes, but Xavier’s glare bears down on me—stripping the layers off my soul so he can figure me out. If I’m lying or not.
Finally the corners of his mouth tug up. “Did it help? Is your curiosity sated?”
I shake my head. “Didn’t help, Sir. Never does. I’m still left with a good man who just snapped. He killed his wife over fish. There’s no answer to it, not one that’ll make me feel any better.”
“And that’s why you’re best of the best, Cass. That desire to know, understand. Your emotions…” he shakes his head. “They can’t get the better of you again. Do you hear me?”
I suck in my bottom lip. “I hear you.”
“Good.” Xavier sits back and just like that the interrogation is over. “Now get out of here and get on with your day. But please, check in with your captain. It serves no one to ignore his calls. Least of all you.”
The captain. My heart sinks. “Have a nice night, Xavier.” I head toward the door and when I turn back for a moment his eyes are dark voids. Like his mind is a million miles away and nowhere good.
My skin chills and I sneak out the door. I make my way in a hurry. The faster I’m out of headquarters the better I’ll feel. The better I’ll feel about everything.
****
Warm noodles, cold drinks.
Deception.
When Jeff meets me at the restaurant, I raise my hand at our table to get his attention. When he sees me his eyes light up. My heart soars, but it’s crashed down by what, his omission of truth? Still I rise when he gets to the table and he takes my hand. He kisses my cheek warmly and I pucker my lips against him.
I smooth my skirt and take my seat and watch him as he unfolds his menu and the server comes over to take his drink order.
We’ve been together since college and he might just be my boyfriend, but in my heart he’s much more than that. I’m not ready to write him off. Maybe he’ll bring it up and we’ll have a little chat about what he did and why. Maybe he just didn’t want to talk about it on the phone. Everyone knows that my temper flares hot and maybe, just maybe he wanted to tell me about it in person.
“How was your day?” I ask as our noodles arrive and pick up my fork.
Jeff sips his wine and unfolds the white napkin onto his lap. “Nothing much out of the ordinary. Paperwork, it’s what I’m good at, right?”
I gesture my glass toward him in agreement and Jeff picks up his glass to offer me a toast. “To my hard working girl. I hope her tomorrow goes better.”
Our glasses clink together and I have to wonder how he feels to keep side stepping all of my questions. Is he nervous? Does he feel bad?
Has he done this before?
“Everything went well at the Reynold’s widows.” I spiral my noodles on my fork and Jeff slurps his up as he usually does. He wipes his face with his napkin, gazing at me with intense, longing eyes. “She was upset. I mean, I think she might be sick. Real sick. She has a lot of pills.”
“That’s too bad, hon.”
I take a deep breath as I chew. “They executed Reynold Jackson today. I wasn’t informed. The widow wasn’t either.” Calling her the widow instead of Katie allows me some emotional distance. Some separation so I can think, process and work the facts as they come at me just like thinking of Reynold as the suspect or the guilty.
But I use his name. I always use his name. Why am I so emotionally invested in him?
“I heard something about that today. I know how much of yourself you put out there, Cass. I’m sorry. I know it must have been hard.” Jeff wipes his hand on his napkin and discards it onto the table. “But you’re breaking our number one rule, hon.”
Rule? Then I stiffen a laugh. “No talking about work at dinner.”
“You need to relax and unwind, right?” Jeff leans across the table and strokes my fingers and I squeeze his back.
“You always take care of me.” I can’t help a smirk. Can he tell I’m wracking him over the coals? Does he know I want to string him up by his toes until he breaks, tells me everything?
“That’s right. There’s no one finer for the job than me.” Jeff gives me a wink. “I thought instead we could plan our vacation. Two months it’s coming up fast and I grabbed some brochures from Time’s Travel to see where you might want to go.” Jeff reaches into his pocket to pull out the blue shaded vacation packets.
He fans them out to me and I take them. I pretend to study them. Hawaii, Aruba, all the places a girl wants to go. Lounge in the sand, drinks with umbrellas it’s the perfect getaway.
Except he’s not telling me something. He’s keeping secrets.
And I have no idea if it’s the first time. But, I have to play it cool. I can’t let him know what I know because now more than ever Jeff is a suspect.
So I place the brochures down and lean across the table, with my best flirty expression. “Anywhere I’m with you will be the perfect vacation.”
Jeff leans across the table and we kiss. “Now that’s an answer I can live with.”
Dinner continues and Jeff’s behavior never changes. There’s no inkling that anything is wrong and I think maybe that’s because there isn’t. Maybe I didn’t see what I saw or I made a mistake. Should I just come straight out and ask him? Give him a chance to deny or explain himself?
We get our dessert to go and together we ride the subway. I cross my legs and lean my head back reading all the advertisements as they flash across the moving screens at the top of the rail car. Community colleges, medical programs, time travel grants. Every week it changes but mostly stays the same.
Jeff slides his arm around my shoulder and it lends me no comfort. “You’re awfully quiet tonight, Cass.”
“Long day.” It’s the truth even if he doesn’t know why. I rest my head against him, but everything is different. That warm feeling I’d get in my gut, is gone. The flip of my heart that always happened when we were together, it’s flat-lined.
I need to find out the truth.
I need to wait until he’s asleep.
But Jeff won’t make that easy. When we get home to our apartment, our desserts are abandoned on the counter. They grow warm as Jeff pushes me against the wall. He nuzzles my neck and my body screams out in contempt as his hands search beneath my skirt. I bent my knee and let him lift my leg close to his body.
But I don’t want to even as he kisses me hotly. Even as I go along with it and run my fingers through his hair. I plant my chin on his shoulder and gaze out the big expansive window at the city landscape of Boston. My home, the place I love.
&nb
sp; The green light above our window beeps as it turns on and gives us a scan.
I have no future. I can’t be read.
But Jeff can.
“Can we take this into the bedroom?” I whisper and nuzzle his ear even though it pains me to do it.
Jeff follows my eyes toward the window and he nods. “Sure. We can be private, sweetheart.” He picks me up and cradles me close. Carries me off as he’s done dozens of times before, but it’s different now.
In the bedroom, he closes the door and I slither across the bed. Ready to just get it over with. Maybe I could say I have a headache, but I rarely do that. We almost always make love after coming home from a long day and if I didn’t, Jeff would be suspicious.
And the last thing I want is for him to suspect something.
So even though I might hate it, I’m going to have to play along.
****
When it’s over, when things are done, I excuse myself to the bathroom wearing only Jeff’s white shirt that I discarded on the floor in our ‘passionate’ encounter. Jeff’s lounging in bed already and probably won’t be up again for the night. In the bathroom I run the water.
I program my link to go off in exactly an hour and then I slide my hand down into the breast pocket of Jeff’s shirt and pull out his Global ID card—the one that will get me into his office. If there’s proof, if there’s evidence, that’s where it’ll be.
It certainly won’t be here in our home.
I slide the ID card underneath the sink basin along with the cleaning supplies and then I return to our bedroom.
Jeff’s laying with his hands tucked under his head, gazing at the television with half lidded eyes. I take my shirt off and stick it in the hamper, slinking into my usual silk nightgown.
Brushing my hair, I turn off the light and turn the television down low. It’s time to get into bed, time to lay with him again.
My stomach churns and I feel sick as I lay on my pillow facing away from him, my hands resting under my cheek.
