Heart of an Assassin (Circle of Spies)

by Laura Pauling

  “I think it’s a little late for that.” Will ran the blender after dumping in yogurt, strawberries and carrots. Then he carried over a glass full of his frothy concoction, a banana, and granola.

  I brought it to my lips, then studied the drink a bit closer.

  “Oh, please,” Will said. “Poison isn’t my style. You’re safe to eat.” He held up his hands, palms out. “Part of our deal.”

  I gulped down the health drink and peeled my banana. Seeing this family laugh like a pack of hyenas made me think of Malcolm’s sly smile and his jokes. I totally got him. And it made me think of my family. The last time we ate a meal together and laughed was years ago. My appetite faded.

  Bartholomew noticed and his laughter dwindled as if he sensed my mood. He coughed and straightened his back. “Sorry about that episode of bad behavior. Hazard of the business.” He dabbed the corners of his mouth with his napkin. “So did Will put you through his famous early morning run?”

  I nodded. “You could call it that.”

  I studied the family around me. These people, laughing and joking together, were assassins? They plotted and planned for months on the best way to kill someone in cold blood?

  The bitterness rose again like bile in my throat. They’d kidnapped Adamos and held him prisoner for weeks so I knew they weren’t all giggles and sunshine, but I just couldn’t see it. Not this fun, happy family. Unless it was just part of some act to intimidate me.

  Janelle cast a stern motherly look in Will’s direction as he stacked ten pieces of French toast on his plate. “You know I don’t approve of your games. Too early in the morning, and for Malcolm to leave her behind?” She shook her head in disapproval.

  “That’s right,” Edith said.

  “Well, you know I’m always open to suggestions. But so far, none of you have come up with anything better.” Will popped an overloaded bite into his mouth.

  “Bah!” Edith whipped the syrup away from him. “I say you should’ve brought her out to the middle of the Mediterranean and then,” she lowered her voice, “when she least expected it, dumped her overboard. You could’ve held her under for a minute or so. That would put the fear of God in her.”

  I choked on my granola.

  “Also could’ve killed her,” he said dryly, “but maybe that wouldn’t have been so bad.”

  Bartholomew started cackling again but after one look at me, toned it down. “Sorry about that.”

  We heard the whistle first and objects crashed through the windows of the house. Black containers rolled across the floor, immediately letting out smoke. The filmy wisps rose, threading between us, blinding our vision.

  “Take cover!” roared Bartholomew. “And try not to breathe!”

  Fourteen

  The whole family moved into action. Edith scrambled for her cane. The dad pulled a pistol from a drawer in the table. Janelle grabbed the meat cleaver. Will shot from his chair and whipped his head back and forth, searching the exits, his face a mask of scary determination.

  A masked man punched out the rest of the sliding glass door and crashed into the kitchen. I couldn’t miss the knife clutched in his hand. Flashbacks of the catacombs in Paris and Adamos created a jelly-like sensation in my knees. The blood, the wet, slippery feel. The metallic smell hitting the back of my throat. The clenching of my stomach. The heartbreak. It all came back and I slithered to the floor and cowered under the table. I hugged my knees and closed my eyes.

  But I couldn’t block out the noise. The grunts. The groans. The crashing of objects being thrown. The landing of chairs. Something thumped next to me. Edith lay on her side, her eyes closed. Was she…? I shot my hand out to feel for a pulse in her neck, my fingers resting on her leathery skin. Still beating.

  “Help them,” she croaked. “They need you.”

  She pushed her cane toward me and I noticed the blade sticking out the end of it. I swallowed my breakfast back down, not able to reach out and grab the cane-turned-weapon. Smoke dried out the back of my throat and I coughed.

  Slowly, I inched to the side and peered out. Janelle swung the broad-bladed knife back and forth, missing the guy but backing him toward her husband on the far left of the kitchen. He held a kitchen chair over his head. His gun gleamed from under the couch across the floor. Oh my spy gods. I tried to get Will’s attention so he could find it but he lay slumped against the far wall off to the right. Blood dripped from the side of his head.

  No. This couldn’t be happening. As much as I hated this family, I loved Malcolm. And these people were his family. Through the ribbons of smoke, I could barely see Will, his face ashen, his body motionless. I crawled out from under the table and toward the gun. My hand itched just thinking about it. Tiny prickles of heat swarmed my skin from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.

  Halfway between the kitchen table and the gun, I heard a thump and a crash. Janelle lay crumpled on the floor, deathly still. Fear wrapped around my neck, like hands squeezing, making it hard to breath. I froze, my eyes glued to Bartholomew, the last man standing. He brought the chair down on the guy who easily batted it away.

  A shot echoed and Bartholomew grabbed his side and slammed against the wall. He slowly slid to the floor, his face contorted with pain.

  Tears blurred my vision and I scrambled for the gun. My fingers were inches away when my stomach exploded in pain. The attacker kicked me again and I rolled. Gasping for breath, I struggled to my feet. He seemed to be toying with me, waiting to see what I would do. His foot shot out, and he kicked the gun to the other side of the room near Will.

  Time stopped and I took inventory. Everyone was knocked out or dead. No one was left. Edith’s whispered words echoed inside me while Will’s ashen face reminded me of Malcolm’s. The smoke was dissipating but I still couldn’t see past my enemy’s mask.

  The man picked up a chair and launched it at me. I ducked but a leg caught the side of my head and knocked me off balance. I swear I heard him laugh which royally pissed me off.

  “Coward!” I cried out.

  Adrenaline surged through my arms and legs and I dropped to the ground. My fingers reached for Edith’s cane. All of sudden I was rushing at him. The room blurred, but this man remained perfectly clear, a dark target. A yell sounded off the walls and I realized it was me. In two steps I was at him, jabbing the cane. It plunged into his side.

  He grabbed his gut and lifted it away with blood on his hand. “Hey!”

  “Yeah, that’s right, coward.”

  Then he took off back through the door and disappeared into the neighborhood. I stood, trembling amongst the rubble. Smoke lingered, carrying with it the sting of the attack and my cowardice. The bodies didn’t move. A lamp lay in pieces. The truth of the situation and what happened weighed on me. Minutes ago I was eating breakfast with a friendly family of assassins and now they were all dead. My legs buckled and I fell to my knees.

  “I’m sorry,” I whispered. Silence filled the room. It felt like a tomb. Why did he spare me? Why did he run?

  “No worries, dear.” Janelle lifted her head and pushed off the floor. Her hair lay in tangles around her face. She smiled weakly.

  Edith groaned. “Someone can at least help an old woman to her feet. I’m not quite as spry as I used to be.”

  Janelle moved to her side.

  “I’m so sorry,” I whispered again, glancing at Bartholomew. Tears rushed, no holding them back.

  He grunted and waved his hand. “I’m alive!”

  Relief whooshed through me.

  “Will.” Janelle spoke sternly and helped Edith to her feet. They both turned on him. “This is coming directly out of your bank account. All this damage. I want it cleaned up and everything replaced by dinner tonight.”

  What? How could they talk to their son like that when he was half alive?

  Will wiped the blood from his face and smirked. “It was rather theatrical, wasn’t it?”

  Janelle’s stern look broke up and she giggled. “Your best yet.
”

  Thoughts entered my head. Theatrical? His best yet? “Are you people crazy? Your home is in ruins and you were just attacked.”

  “Will.” Bartholomew spoke sternly as if his son were a toddler scribbling on the wall with a crayon.

  “Fine, fine.” He approached me. “This was officially your second training session. Planned by me for your benefit.” He bowed.

  Understanding dawned. My fingers trembled and one by one they curled into a fist. The whole thing, the smoke bombs, the attack, it was a set up. For me. For my training.

  “Now I just need some hash browns to go with this fake blood.” He licked his fingers.

  The entire family cracked up. They relived the scene moment-by-moment, applauding Will for his work. Anger pulsed and it built in my fists. I stepped over the lamp and kicked Edith’s cane aside. The family took one look at me, and their laughter died.

  “Hey, Will.”

  He turned with a cocky grin, full of himself and congratulatory for pulling one over on me. My fist met his face. The impact sent pain rocketing back through my arm.

  Fifteen

  I stomped out through the jagged door and ran to the garden. The smell of the hyacinth mixed with the various smells of blooming flowers clashed with the rage welling within me. I stomped through flowerbeds and whirled around, wanting to shred all the tiny purple and yellow flowers. I breathed deep, trying to grasp everything that just happened.

  Water trickling into the fountain pool broke through the haze of thoughts rapidly shooting through my brain. I moved toward the fountain, then dipped my throbbing knuckles into the pool, running them back and forth across the surface. First it was just my fingers drinking in the cool water but I sunk my hand lower and lower, the water a distraction from the horrific memory and my brain trying to wrap around the fact that it wasn’t real. Not the blood. Not the gunshot. Not the attack.

  I dropped to my knees, the gravel digging into my skin. I cupped my hands into the water and splashed my face. Once, then again. I scrubbed, erasing the memory of Edith falling to the floor next to me, croaking out for help; Janelle falling, and then the gunshot. And Will, his face, ash gray, and the blood coloring his skin like a three year old drew a long angry red line down his cheek. And it was all an act. I scrubbed harder. Splashed more.

  And then a light touch was on my back.

  “Don’t touch me.” The words shot from my mouth. I scrubbed harder because if I didn’t release my aggression I wasn’t sure what I would do.

  Malcolm pushed me back from the fountain’s edge. My shoulder grazed the rounded stones as I fell on my butt onto the gravel path. The small sharp stones dug into my hands. My hair wrapped in snake-like strands around my neck and shoulders. Water dripped between my shoulder blades.

  “Stand up.” His face was like a mask, cold and hard, no flicker of any emotion.

  “No.” I brushed off the excess water from my arms with jerky motions, refusing the angry tears trembling, ready to fall.

  “Stand up and fight.”

  I glared, my eyes like slits, wanting to pummel him to the ground and into dust. He kicked me with his toe.

  “You knew about this?” The words hissed through my clenched teeth.

  “Get up and fight. Damn it!” he yelled and nudged me again, a little harder. “What? You thought training would be lifting weights and sparring with wooden poles? Maybe a leisurely trip to the target range? Sorry, sweetie. That’s for the movies.”

  “You could’ve warned me about this,” I spit out.

  He laughed, the sound shallow. “Will has about a thousand ways of approaching training. I had no idea he’d pull this trick.” His voice turned bitter. “He doesn’t exactly confide in me.”

  The itch started in my fingers and spread up my arms. A feeling. A desire to hit, to scream, to run. The urge raced through my nerves, spreading, exploding. As soon as I got to my feet I lunged at him. My arms wrapped around his waist and we fell to the ground with a thud, his body a hard line underneath me.

  “Is that all you got?” he gasped and pushed me off.

  Back on our feet, I attacked again. Fists flying, I pounded his chest, his arms, his stomach. The fear, the shock, the anger released with every hit. He finally pushed me away and gave it back. He punched. I ducked. He kicked. I swerved to the side and took out the one leg he was standing on. We went at it. Both fighting. Sweat stung my eyes. Muscles burned and my lungs complained for air.

  On my last lunge I clung, my arms wrapped around his chest, my body hanging off him.

  “Keep going. If you’re fighting for your life, no one’s going to give you time to recover because you’re past the point of exhaustion.”

  I swung but missed. He punched my arm.

  “Use what you can. Find a weapon. Fists aren’t all you have available and you won’t always have your choice of knives or guns.”

  He punched again. My body cried out for relief. The tender spots throbbed where his fists had made contact. I wanted him to stop, for the garden to stop spinning. I stumbled away. Find a weapon. Find a weapon. Find a weapon. I crashed through the careful landscaping, tripping over the bushes. And then I saw it. A rake lay on the ground with nice pointed tines. I grabbed it and turned, my fingers digging into the wood.

  Malcolm nodded in approval.

  I rushed, jabbing the rake. He grabbed the end, right below the tines, and yanked me close. I stumbled. The rake fell and we landed in a heap in the grass. For the second time, I lay on top of him, breathing hard, wincing in anticipation of his harsh words or taunts. None came. His chest rose and fell. His breath hitched and the mask slipped and feeling flickered in his eyes. He didn’t hate me and his lips were so close. Memories of our last kiss lingered and pulled me toward him.

  But I rolled off, my chest heaving. The sky spun above, taunting me with her carefree attitude and light, wispy clouds. Every one of my bones cried out and my muscles complained. I couldn’t move.

  The clapping started softly at first and then grew. And then the whistles. I turned my head. Bartholomew, Janelle, Will and Edith stood at the edge of the yard, whistling and cheering. They meant to encourage and congratulate, but instead, each clap and whistle grated against my nerves, drawing up the bitterness from the deep well inside me.

  “Savvy.” Malcolm touched my arm, but I still couldn’t find the strength to move.

  His one word said more than any amount of words he could’ve strung together. Because words wouldn’t be enough. Forced explanation wouldn’t be enough. But in his voice I heard it. That he understood. That he’d been there. That this was his life, the death, the blood. I understood why he left his family and why he didn’t want to betray them. I didn’t want to know the kind of practical jokes they’d played on him in the name of training. All the stuff he could never explain to me. I got it.

  “You’re right,” I said. “I saw training as jogging a couple miles. Learning to aim a gun. I didn’t see the emotion behind it.”

  “That’s just the first stage. You have to get to the point where you live and move and breathe beyond the emotion. On instinct. We have a very short time to train you. If Will had a year, you’d have some of those glorified training moments but from the little I’ve been told, there isn’t a lot of time.”

  “What do you mean?” I pushed up to a sitting position. “Why?”

  “Hey, I’m just the trainer. My family doesn’t tell me everything either.”

  I flopped back down and stared back at the clouds dancing across the sky and hoped I hadn’t made the biggest mistake of my life.

  Sixteen

  I’d hoped that after the first traumatic training session with the smoke bomb and fake blood that I’d get a break. I was wrong. It didn’t matter where I was or my current activity status. In the shower. Eating lunch. Following my daily routine of sit-ups and push-ups. Flossing.

  The lights would flick off and someone would attack, usually Malcolm, or he’d send me off on a trail of clues to r
escue Edith. After a week or so I never knew when my head hit the pillow if I’d get a full night’s sleep or not. Up was down and down was up. I ate muffins for dinner and spaghetti for breakfast. Or that was what it felt like. But if my family stayed safe and if I got a chance to peek at their deadly plans for Constance, it was worth it.

  After one extremely exhausting early morning run, Malcolm pulled me aside after breakfast and said we had plans for the day. I didn’t argue. Anything to escape the house for a little bit.

  Within the hour, we were back at the dock. The mid-day sun glistened off the sides of the boats and sails winked out on the waters as if in on some cosmic joke. Malcolm rested his foot on the edge of his boat, his eyes piercing mine. My breath disappeared and my chest tightened. With his jeans and fit T-shirt I couldn’t help but remember his melt-me-into-butter kisses.

  “So, um, what’s the plan? I know we’re not here for a friendly outing,” I said. He’d pulled me from training after lunch with no hint as to our plans. Edith’s ideas of training niggled in the back of my head. “You’re not going to toss me overboard, are you?”

  “We’re on a recon mission. Jump aboard if you’re coming.”

  I stepped on board with much reserve, wishing I’d worn my bathing suit under my clothes. He untied the boat and started the engine.

  “Recon on what?” I called out over the motor.

  “You’ll see.” Then with a mischievous smile, he guided the boat away from the dock.

  I crossed my arms and puckered my lips into a pout. But it didn’t last as the boat chugged out past the shallow waters, and he unfurled the sail. It snapped clean in the wind and we flew across the Mediterranean, the waves at our feet and the clouds our crown. I gripped the bench, completely enthralled. I was flying, the air on my face, the wind in my hair, lifting off the anxiety of living and training with assassins.

  Thirty minutes later, Malcolm slowed the boat, lowered the sails, and dropped anchor. The boat swayed with the swell of the waves, and the exhilaration I’d felt for the past half hour faded. I leaned against the hull so the sun could warm my face. The salt water brought back memories of family trips to the seashore, and I relaxed for the first time in a long time. Malcolm disappeared inside the cabin and returned holding a camera with a super zoom lens.