“Well I’m not just some man. I’m her man. She should know I’m in love with her and would do anything to make her happy,” I retorted.
“Sean, listen to me. Don’t you think those other men made those other women feel the same way? We are what we experience. As a scientist, you should know the environment in which we live dictates how we react to some situations.”
“Ma, Lashawnda grew up with parents who are very much in love. I doubt her father treats her mother any type of way.” I reminded her.
“Yes, but Lashawnda has also been privy to the failed relationships among people outside of her home. My point is, you need to decide what you are willing to relinquish in a fight. Your dad had the same issue when we first started dating. He always wanted to be right; even when he wasn’t. But, as time passed, he learned to compromise. I know Lashawnda loves you. She isn’t telling you she doesn’t want to move in with you at all. She’s just asking that you all do it on different terms. And, you say you would do anything to make her happy? Well this is your chance to prove it.”
I listened intently, getting another perspective I didn’t think I needed.
“Sean, you have to realize dating is not an easy thing. Everyone has their insecurities, flaws, and certain ways of being themselves, that make them who they are. Perfect people in relationships only exist in books, movies, and TV shows. The most important thing is finding someone who loves you on your worst days, just as much as they do on your best. And will fight for you, and with you, through the hard times. Do you believe you found that with Lashawnda?” she asked.
“Yeah, I do. I just can’t really figure out how to convince her to move forward with me.” I shook my head, not sure why I suddenly sounded five years old again.
“Well, keep loving her and working on being the best part of her life and everything else will fall into place.
I sat back from the table. Ma’s words were settling in. “Ugh…so I guess I was being a turd, huh?”
“A turd? What?”
“Nothing. Just something Lashawnda said,” I explained halfheartedly.
“Oh, bless her heart. The poor girl is such a sweetie that she doesn’t even use profanity. I would have called it like it is. One hundred percent asshole is what you were being. And, while we’re on the subject—”
“Okay. Thanks for the advice, Ma.” I quickly interrupted. “No need for the commentary. Matter of fact, it’s past your bedtime.”
“Don’t start with me, boy,” she replied, laughter evident in her voice.
“Calling me an asshole, what type of mother does that?” I mumbled.
“Okay, fine. You were just being a Colcord.”
“Still doesn’t sound like a compliment, Mrs. Sandra Colcord,” I replied cheekily, putting emphasis on her last name.
We talked for a few minutes more, but I could hear the sleep in her voice; so, I told her I loved her and got off the phone.
After hanging up, I went to the bathroom and brushed my teeth before bed. When I was done, I took a paper towel and wiped the splashes of water and toothpaste from the mirror. Lashawnda would have fussed at me if she saw it there. I put my toothbrush back into the cup holder, accidentally knocking Lashawnda’s over. After I finished cleaning off the sink, I slipped out of my t-shirt and sweatpants and climbed into bed. Reaching over to turn off the light, I caught a glimpse of the book Lashawnda had been reading—Frames of Mind by Howard Gardner. There were a lot of discussions between the two of us about some of his theories over the last few weeks.
Lying alone in my bed was complete torture. I couldn’t do it. It was hard getting comfortable. Every position left by body feeling misplaced on the large bed. Quickly pulling my clothes back on, I grabbed my keys, and hustled out of the house. I couldn’t go another night without her. Fuck compromise. I needed to have my woman by my side again. She could have whatever she wanted, as long as I could have her.
CHAPTER 17
LASHAWNDA
It was late in the evening, and I was just heading back from the grocery store. The light on my cell phone showed an incoming call. When I pulled up to the stop sign, I glanced over at the display screen in saw it was my father calling. I quickly hit the hands-free button on my steering wheel just as I pulled into the parking garage of my building.
“Hello?”
“Hey, baby girl. How’s it going?” Daddy’s deep soothing voice warmed me like a fluffy blanket on a cold rainy night.
He was home, my heart, the definition of comfort and solace. I’d been a spoiled daddy’s girl since birth and there was no denying it. My mother and I were close, but my daddy and I had a unique relationship. Tea parties with him sitting in a tiny chair, his knees constantly bumping my little pink princess table. He always had a first aid kit at the ready to treat my cuts and bruises. Even those crooked ponytails he blessed me with on days Momma couldn’t do our hair were special.
Daddy was the first man to love me unconditionally and the source of strength we all turned to in the family.
“Hey, Daddy. I’m doing good. How are you and Momma doing?”
“Oh, we’re doing fine. Just sitting here watching the news. Your momma is upstairs putting in her rollers for the night. I’m about to head up in a minute, but I wanted to call you and your sister before I did so.”
“That sounds like every night in the Price house.” I lightly chuckled.
Since I was a kid, it was the same nightly routine. Once my sister and I went to bed, momma installed her roller set while sipping a cup of tea at her dressing table. And Daddy sat in the family room watching the news with a glass of Crown in his hand.
“You spoke to Crystal already?” I asked.
“Yup, she was my first call.” Daddy’s light laughter was soothing to my frayed nerves. “You know I had to handle the difficult one first.”
“My sister is not difficult, old man.” I lightly scolded.
“Lies you tell,” Daddy retorted. “My baby girl is hell in a handbasket. I’m so damn proud of her, though. She doesn’t take no shit from anybody. That boy Brian is getting a dose of what he’s been needing. He thought she was hard to live with before, he’s getting the full Monty now.”
I shook my head at Daddy’s booming laughter. He was talking a big game now that Crystal and Brian were in the process of ending their relationship. Which meant he didn’t have to sugarcoat his feelings about Brian; not that my dad was known to sugarcoat anything. But he held his tongue out of respect for Crystal being a married woman. Now that all that was ending, he was on a whole new wavelength. He loved that Crystal was making sure she walked out of her marriage with everything she came with, and not a penny less.
“So how you?” Daddy asked, southern drawl thick. He was sipping on his dark liquor this time of night. It was his usual time to wind-down.
“I’m good,” I replied.
I pulled into my designated parking spot at the same time Ricky was pulling in. His blood orange Jeep Wrangler roared to a halt. I waved at him and pointed to my phone. He began hauling his photography gear out of the backseat. When he was done gathering all his gear, he angled his head toward the elevator; indicating that he’d wait for me, I shook my head, ‘no’.
“Work is good? Nathan still keeping you on your toes?” Daddy inquired.
“Yeah, he’s still driving me crazy.” I smiled. “He came back from out of town last week. Mrs. Barnes forced him to go on a vacation with her and the family. Do you know this man kept singing that Kokomo song by The Beach Boys? Daddy, I’m not exaggerating when I say he’s been singing it all day. Like every single second of the day while he was in the office. And, on top of that, he was wearing shorts, flip-flops, and a sleeveless floral shirt.”
“Ha! You got to be kidding me. In the office? A floral shirt with no sleeves?”
I nodded my head. “The man’s skin was so darn pale, it was practically translucent. I don’t think he’s exposed his body to the sun in decades. And, he had the nerve to wear a s
leeveless shirt, showing off all that skin. I don’t think I’ve laughed so hard at his antics in a long time.”
“Well what did the other bosses have to say?” Daddy’s voice was eager with anticipation to hear the rest of the story.
“Absolutely nothing. They congratulated him on having a good vacation and acted like it was just another day in the office.” I twisted my mouth in memory of the discussion. “I think they were just happy he wasn’t cutting up the office furniture or cursing out the delivery men.”
“Lucky, you’ve got a boss unlike any other,” Daddy said, still snickering.
A comfortable silence settled between us; it wasn’t uncommon. Sometimes I’d call him while I was cooking, and he’d be on the phone the whole time. Chiming in when something crossed his mind or when he wanted to be sure I washed my hands properly after cutting up the scotch bonnet peppers. My daddy was one of my best friends. As a little girl he was the light in my eyes, the beat of my heart, and my sole protector on earth.
Which is why he knew something was wrong the moment I let out that long lamenting sigh.
“Lucky?”
“Yes, Daddy?”
“Ain’t no need keeping it in. Tell your daddy why you ain’t got that smile in your voice that I like to hear?”
I settled back in my seat, hand fidgeting with the flap of fabric on the armrest. No point in delaying the inevitable.
“Sean wants me to move in with him.” I began slowly. “He asked me over a week ago, and I told him no. He asked me a few months ago when his mom came to visit. I told him we’d discuss it when we reached six months. We talked about it—okay we argued about it, and things haven’t been right ever since.”
“Sean treating you bad or something?” Daddy demanded.
“No, everything is good between us,” I answered. On instinct, I turned around in my seat, watching the figure of a lone body walking a few rows over from where I was parked.
Probably another one of my neighbors.
“Okay, well I’m sure you’ve got your reasons. You’re my smart girl, Lucky. If moving in with Sean isn’t something you want, don’t let nobody force you into changing your mind,” he said.
“I know, Daddy.” I rolled my eyes at the thought of our argument. “He thinks I don’t trust him, though.”
“Do you trust him?”
“I do.” That answer to that question was a no-brainer. Sean’s never given me any reason not to trust him fully. I would give the man my social security number, even the passwords to all my bank accounts.
“What the hell is the problem then?” he asked. “You love him and trust him, but you just don’t want to move in with him. It sounds simple to me. You’re not ready for that step. You want more time.”
“Apparently, it’s not that simple to him.” I retorted, rolling my eyes.
“Well, apparently he ain’t got it all upstairs. Sounds to me like he’s just being controlling. Tell me what else was said in this argument.”
I went through the entire story. Telling my father about our heated exchanges. I was transparent about my feelings and hoped I wasn’t painting Sean in a bad light. My daddy was all about his girls and I wanted him to like Sean. Things wouldn’t look so good if we ended up in another situation like Brian and Crystals. Sean wasn’t Brian. I don’t know how I’d feel if my daddy was to pull him into his office for a discussion.
“So, I’m not sure where to go from here. It’s Friday, and we usually go on a date and spend the weekend at my place. I know we need to work through this, but I don’t know where to start.”
“Well, my advice is to start with yourself.”
“I’m not in a fight with myself, Daddy,” I answered confused about his advice. “Why would I start there?”
“Lucky, I’ve been married for a long time to your momma. I’ve argued with her about big things and small things. No matter the size of the disagreement, the one thing I’ve learned is knowing my position in the argument and what I want the outcome to be.” He paused, and I could hear the unmistakable sounds of him taking a sip of his Crown. “So, start with yourself first, so you can be comfortable at whatever the outcome when this all blows over.”
I sat for a minute, digesting my father’s words. I wasn’t perfect, and neither was Sean. Communication had never been an issue. We needed to get over this little block in our relationship.
“I’m happy; so happy that it’s almost inconceivable how happy I am.”
“Sean happy?” Daddy asked.
“He better be. I’m like the best thing that’s ever happened to him,” I joked.
“Ha! Girl, you sound like your crazy sister.” Daddy hooted loudly on the other end of the line. “But, I’m serious. If he’s happy, and you’re happy, then it sounds like this is a personal issue with him.”
“It’s not.”
“But you just said that y’all are fighting. If he’s not the one with the issue, then what does that mean?” Daddy’s voice trailed off. Silence hung between us.
If he’s not the one with the issue, then what does that mean?
Daddy’s words lingered. Taunting me to admit something no one wants to ever admit. I let out a long groan and smacked myself in the forehead with my open palm.
“Daddy?”
“Yes, Lucky?”
“You knew all this time I was the one with the issue, didn’t you?” I asked with a roll of my eyes.
“I wouldn’t say issue,” Daddy laughed. “I know what you’re feeling because I felt the same thing too. When your mother and I started dating, I didn’t know what to think after the first few months. Elizabeth was perfect. She was caring, supportive, and most importantly dependable. She was everything a man could ask for in a woman. I wasn’t used to having that type of woman around me, much less that type of person. But you know how I grew up. Bouncing from one house to the next. Family always ready to kick me out when I overstayed my welcome. I never got comfortable staying in one situation too long. My happiness never lasted. So, I got to asking myself, ‘why would it last with this woman’? When would she get tired of me and kick me to the curb? That’s why I was so resistant for so long about asking her to marry me. My fear almost caused me to lose her to another man.”
“So how did you fix it?”
“It took me a while to look in the mirror and realize that the love your mother had for me was the love that I deserved. I wasn’t some throwaway kid anymore. I was a grown man with a heart and a purpose. And I’d found a woman who was willing to love me faults and all. All I had to do was get out of my own way and allow her to do just that.”
“So I need to get out of my own way?”
“Sounds about right.” Daddy answered. “Lucky just because you’ve only been dating a few months doesn’t mean that it’s not time to move things forward. You’ve found your special someone. Let him love you on y’all’s timetable. Not mine, your sister’s, or anyone else. You know your man and you know what kind of love you share. If he was planning on breaking your heart, he wouldn’t be jumping through all these hoops for you.”
“You think so?”
“I know so. Baby girl I see the way that boy looks at you. You’re his everything. I’m happy that you found a man like that to spend your life with. I can rest my old bones a little now. I‘ve got one daughter secured, another one almost there, and the last one about to turn all my hairs gray.”
“Thanks, Daddy,” I said, thinking hard about my ‘why’ for not wanting to move in with Sean.
“So why you not ready to move in with him? I mean I don’t think you should. But that’s just my selfish feelings being your daddy. Shackin’ up is not okay with me but I know y’all young folks do things different nowadays.”
I bit the skin on the side of my thumb, contemplating my father’s words. “I guess I‘ve got a lot to think about.”
“I hear your mother moving around in the hallway. That’s my sign it’s time for me to go to bed,” he grunted. I could picture him using
one hand to get up from his brown leather Lazy-boy with the glass of Crown still in his other hand. “I love you, Lucky girl. Talk to you tomorrow.”
“Love you too, Daddy. Kiss Momma for me. Tell her don’t forget that we’re going to the mall on Friday to get pedicures. I know she had some meeting at the church that she was hosting.”
“I will. Goodnight.”
“Night.”
I hung up the phone and relaxed into my seat. There was so much to consider.
“Do you ever get the feeling everything is too perfect?” I asked.
“Umm no…why would you say something like that?” Stacy replied.
It had been a whirlwind in both of our lives, and we haven’t had the chance to talk. Before our argument, Sean and I were spending more and more time together. The new grants at H&G were in full swing, and I was working overtime just to keep on top of everything around the office. Plus, Stacy and her longtime boyfriend Will were going through some things, which made it difficult for us to visit as often as before. But here we were, finally able to catch up over the phone.
I was at home packing up a few more boxes of cat food to drop off to my parents’ house. Fat Bastard had been staying with my mother a lot lately. I wasn’t sure why exactly, but with my mother being home alone it seemed like she needed the company. And, since I had been dating Sean, I realized I wasn’t home as much.
“I don’t know…I just feel like everything is just…perfect,” I replied. I was still muddling through the conversation, I had with my dad. I wanted to wait a few days to make sure my head was in the right place before I called Sean. Starting with myself wasn’t as easy as it seemed.
“Okay…out with it. What is going on with you? And, before you even think about giving me that ‘nothing is wrong’ spiel, try that bullshit with someone else,” Stacy fussed.
This was why she was my best friend. Between her and Crystal, I couldn’t get away with much. That’s how close we were.
Over the Hedge: Part 2- The Finale (Lucky in Love) Page 19
