by Marie Skye
She rolled her eyes. “You haven’t returned any of my messages, Hawkins. I missed you.” She stepped forward. “I missed us.”
I ran my hand through my hair. “I haven’t returned your messages because they’re blocked, and for good reason, Rebecca. You need to go.”
She started to pout. “Why?”
I started guiding her toward the elevator. “I told you to never, ever come here. My place is off limits. That was, and is the number one rule, and you overstepped the boundaries by being here.” I stabbed the down button repeatedly, even though I knew damn well that wouldn’t make it go faster.
“If you would just listen to me, Hawkins. I want to talk to you. I fucked up, okay. I never should’ve ruined us.”
I stopped and turned to face her. “Say that again.”
She paused, and the door to the elevator opened, and I pulled us both in, and I backed her into a corner, but didn’t touch her. “Say that again.”
She slowly swallowed. “I never should’ve ruined us,” she whispered.
Without taking my eyes off of her, I hit the emergency stop button to the elevator. “But you did, didn’t you? You did ruin us. You fucked up, by fucking us both over, because our vows meant shit to you.” Her lips started trembling, and I shut my eyes tight, before opening them again. “I loved you, Rebecca. I gave you everything, but nothing was good, enough, was it?”
I moved away from her, to the other side of the elevator, and shrank down against it. “I was discharged out of the military because of you. I lost men because of you, because I couldn’t fucking focus, with rumors of the shit of what you were doing back here.” I laughed. “And yet, I’m still fucking you, that’s the most fucked up part, of this whole thing.”
I felt her cross over to me and kneel next to me. “It’s because we belong together.”
I shook my head. “No. It’s because I wanted to fuck. I wanted to feel the betrayal. I was nothing, and thought I deserved nothing. So, I fucked you. A piece of trash, because you were nothing in my eyes.” I watched as her eyes widened.
“You ruined my life, Rebecca. You fucked my life up, to the point I thought it was irreparable.” I sighed as I hit the button so the elevator moved again. “By the time, you get home, your husband will have videos of all the times you and I have fucked. That should be enough evidence, so that you don’t receive spousal support in court, when he files for divorce from your ass.”
She gasped. “How could you?”
I turned to her sharply. “How could I? How could you? Tell me, Rebecca, did you ever give a fuck about me? About the husband, you have now? What about your child? I bet you don’t even know what your kid’s favorite ice cream is do you?”
She opened her mouth and then shut it. I nodded. “Get out of my building.”
She stared at the ground a beat as she wiped a tear away. She had no idea that when she came into town, I would destroy her life, once and for all. Pain, was all I wanted Rebecca to feel. I wanted her to feel the hatred, I’d been feeling for a year. Was it callous of me to do what I did? Maybe. Did I care? Not even a little bit. She wiped a tear away as she turned, and exited the building.
The best part about ruining Rebecca's life. She was the wife of a State Senator. Our divorce was easy. I was painted the villain. Drove her into the arms of another man, due to my PTSD. I was a threat, and she feared for her life, and safety.
I sat in the lobby for a few minutes, before heading to the basement. I was too strung up. I couldn't let Gwen see me like this. I needed to hit something. I grabbed my boxing gloves, and took it out on something I could hit.
Hitting this bag wasn't anywhere close to the anger, I kept inside me over the past few years. It wasn't enough to keep my mind from thinking how much I fucked up, when it should've been me, bleeding to death, not my men, because I couldn't get my shit together. I was too zoned out. I didn't make the call, in time. My timing was off by mere seconds.
* * *
"Which way do you want to go?"
I looked down at the map, as the room shook again, and more debris fell on top of us.
"Hawkins! We have to move now!"
More screams, and cries, this time from children. I shook my head. "We can head North, and get the hostages that way. There's a tunnel here. It won't be a pretty escape route, but it'll have to do."
Gunner nodded before looking at everyone else. "You heard him. Let's go!"
We had maybe three minutes, if that. But those three minutes were everything. We all froze as a bloodcurdling scream flooded the building, on some speaker.
"I told you what I would start doing if you came in here, didn't I? That one's on you!"
My eyes darted to Gunner. "Move!"
We raced to the back. He was killing the hostages. Another bloodcurdling scream filled the room. I tried shutting it out. God, I tried. I tried so fucking hard. Get to the room, I kept telling myself. The room started filling with black smoke. I couldn't see. None of us could see.
"Is that you, honey?"
I stopped.
That voice.
"Rebecca?"
I started coughing. The black smoke was thick. So, thick. "Honey, it's me."
"It's not real, Hawkins, keep moving!"
"I don't want to be with you anymore...I love someone else."
Another bloodcurdling scream filtered through the speakers, and a blast came from behind us, throwing me forward. I had to stay focused. I needed to stay focused. The mission. The mission was top priority.
"Twenty feet, Hawkins!"
I ran full speed. We could still save them, and gut this mutha-fucker.
We finally got to the door. Gunner was already ciphering the door open. We stood back, as a small blast, cleared our way in. We had no idea what we would find, but nothing could prepare me for the sight in front of me.
"You made it!"
My eyes widened, I was the last one in.
He started clapping. "You're a little late though."
My blood grew cold at the sight around me. I've seen men die in battle. I've killed men with my own hands, but nothing prepared me for this.
The children we were sent here to save from being forced into a prostitution ring, were dead. Some beheaded, with their heads strung up, like they were ornaments on a Christmas tree.
"Don't worry, their hearts were taken to their mommies. Think of it as a parting gift."
He lit up a cigar as his gaze met mine. His grin, was cocky in all his glory. Drago Fado. The most feared drug lord with a fifty million bounty on his head. Wanted alive. But not today. I raised my sniper.
I heard Gunner shouting at me, but I couldn't hear him. Why couldn't I hear him? Suddenly he went down, and debris flew at me. It took a moment to realize it was pieces of Gunner, that was on me. He was blown to pieces.
"Gunner?" I heard myself call out.
Another explosion, and I felt myself get thrown, and smashed up against a steel wall. The air was taken right out of me. I felt something pierce through my left shoulder. Heat began to take over my body. The whole room erupted in a ball of flames, followed by another explosion. I could barely breathe. Suddenly, a pair of black boots, appeared in front of me. Drago crouched in front of me. He had one little girl in his arms. She was still alive. Dark skinned, with the most beautiful green eyes I've ever seen. She couldn't have been more than six years old.
"She does well in bed."
My stomach turned.
She flinched as he gripped her hair tighter, and she coughed from the smoke filling her lungs. He pulled another girl, that looked almost identical to her, next to her.
"This one doesn't. She's a spitfire."
She stared down at me, tears gleaming in her eyes. Her chin quivered. He looked at his watch before looking at the girl that was stone faced, and the girl that was crying. "What a waste."
Before, I had time to react, he pulled a knife and slit the crying girl's throat. The stone-faced girl’s eyes briefly widened before tur
ning away. She didn't shed a single tear for her sister. She didn't need to. She'd seen too much death in her lifetime.
“You be well now.” He gave me a malicious smile right before turning. The girl by his side gave one last brief look at me, before following him, like a lost dog, as they seemingly disappeared.
I shut my eyes, and willed the flames to come closer, and swallow me up whole. I willed myself to die with the rest of my men.
I slumped against the wall. I wish it was my throat that had been cut that night. I buried my head in my hands, and once again, wept the tears the green-eyed girl couldn't shed.
* * *
I finally made my way back up to my apartment a little after two in the morning. A mixture of fear and panic swept through me. I'd left Gwen here by herself, and for all I knew, she left. That would serve me right if she did. I hesitated as I opened my bedroom door, and my eyes widened at what I saw, and breathed a sigh of relief. She was still here, and looked like a goddess with her hair fanned out around my pillow.
I crept to the bathroom, taking the quickest three-minute shower humanly possible. I needed her in my arms. For some reason, she made it all better. She drove away those demons. She softly sighed as I pulled her closer to me, and I swear, that was the best sound in the world.
"You took too long," she whispered sleepily.
I nuzzled into her neck. "I know, sweets. I'm sorry." She yawned, relaxing into me, which in turn began making me hard. She started drifting off again, but with my dick pressed up against her, hard as fuck, and with her almost completely naked, I couldn’t let that happen.
My hand roamed over the softness of her breast and gently tugged her nipples, and she let out a sleepy moan. I silently laughed. “I see you ignored me by putting that shirt on.”
She sighed as my hand traveled down to the apex of her thighs and froze at her panties. “And panties apparently.” I snapped the waistband and she yelped.
“You didn’t say anything about panties. And in my defense, I got cold, and the shirt reminds me of you. I like smelling like you.”
It was hard to argue with that, but she was still wearing too many articles of clothing. I started unbuttoning the shirt. “You present a very good argument, ma’am, but I still prefer you naked whenever you’re in my bed.”
She lightly shivered as I laid her back, and that shiver quickly turned into a moan as my mouth covered her nipple. “Are you still tired?”
She nodded. “A little.”
I smirked as I lifted her hips slightly, removing her panties. “Well, let’s see what I can do about that.”
* * *
I reached over for Gwen, and her spot was not only empty, it was cold. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, as I peered over. There was a note on the pillow.
Had to go to work. Hopefully we’ll see each other soon!
Fuck yeah, we’ll be seeing each other soon.
Eighteen
Gwen
"No. Nope, nope nope. This is the second time you've walked your skinny ass in here with that glow on your face, and you haven't said a word. What is going on with you?" Sheerah looked me up and down.
I actually turned and looked at my ass, in my new jeans. Sure, I'd bought new clothes that fit me better, but I didn't think they were that big of a deal.
"You walk in here, with a brand-new wardrobe, a whole new look, and you're glowing." She stopped and narrowed her eyes, before suddenly widening them. "Was it that other guy that came in here asking for you? He looked rather pissed when I told him you were on a date."
I tried to hide my smile, but I failed miserably, and Sheerah hit me with a towel. "I knew it! I want to hear everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING!" She crossed her arms. "I thought you had a little limp in your step. That good, huh?"
I covered my mouth as I looked around the cafe, making sure no one heard what she said. Sheerah, was always a little bold, and I loved her, but the girl had no inside voice.
"Gwen."
I turned around at the sound of my name, expecting to see a customer, and froze. This was definitely not a customer. All the joy I felt from before, quickly dissipated. My mouth suddenly felt dry, and my insecurities quickly started to rise.
"Sorry to bother you, but you weren't answering any of my calls, or texts, and I figured this was the best way to get in touch with you."
I stared down at my hands. I felt myself getting sweaty. Was the room getting smaller? Deep breath. In. Out. In. Out.
"I just want to talk. That's all, I promise. We can do that, right?"
Dammit, am I getting teary eyed? No! You will not do that here. Not here. Not right now. You are not weak! He doesn't have this effect on you anymore.
I finally looked over at Sheerah. "I'm going to take my lunch, okay?" I managed to give her a weak smile and she nodded. She knew something was wrong. I turned back to the guy in front of me and cleared my throat. "There's a park about a block away."
He nodded. "That sounds perfect."
* * *
Ten minutes later, we both sat on a bench near a fountain. I clutched a sandwich in my hand, but I had no plans of eating it. I was holding it so tight I was ruining the bread.
"You don't have to be nervous around me, Gwen."
My head snapped toward his. "Why are you here?"
He sighed as he touched his goatee, as if he had to ponder the thought. As if he himself wasn't sure. "I'm sorry about the baby shower. I really didn't know your mother was going to hire you for it."
I stared straight ahead, not looking at Blake.
"You look good. Really good."
I kept my stare off to the distance. The leaf dancing in the wind seemed much more interesting. I heard Blake mutter a curse.
"Look, I fucked up, okay? I know that. I'm sorry..."
I cut him off. "That's how you apologize? 'Look, I fucked up okay, I know that, I'm sorry?' That's the best you can do?" I felt myself getting hot. "Did you even give a shit about me, Blake? I gave myself to you. I gave everything to you, and for what? To be treated like dirt by not only your family, but by you!"
I felt the tears threatening to spill over as Blake looked at me with sorrow, and pity. He held up a hand. "I know, Gwen. I know. It eats at me every day."
"Yeah, you look eaten up," I spat out at him. "You looked real eaten up, at your baby shower. Almost didn't recognize you, with how happy and thrilled you looked."
We were quiet for a moment. "I don't even know if the baby's mine." He sighed, and then did something unexpected, as he laced my hand between his. I did something equally unexpected. I didn't pull back. "I still have feelings for you, Gwen. We started off good together, you and I both know that. We can have that again. It'll be different this time. I promise. I know you still love me, you can't just turn five years off like that."
I felt myself shaking as I stared into his hazel eyes. He reached up, and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, and I flinched. He frowned.
"I'm with someone." My voice came out shakily when I said it. I heard him smirk.
"No, you're not. He just has you thinking you are. We both know no one will ever truly love you. Not like me. We're good together. I'll make you see that again." He sighed, taking my hand in his, and holding onto it tight enough I winced. If he noticed, he didn't care. He never cared when he hurt me. "I have to go. Answer my texts, next time." He leaned forward, and gently touched my lips with his.
I felt myself trembling at the mere touch.
I felt like a fraud heading back to the cafe. I couldn't concentrate, I was getting orders wrong, and I was antsy. I couldn't even reply back to a simple text from Hawkins right. He said 'Missing me yet?'
I replied back with: 'Thank you.'
The message was already sent, before I realized what I wrote, and I couldn't take it back. I had too much in my head. I felt confused. What if Blake really has changed? I shut my eyes, taking deep breathes. He destroyed you. Remember that. Hawkins fixed you. Is fixing you.
My though
ts were interrupted by an incoming text.
Hawkins: Dinner tonight?
I sat staring at the message on the phone, all the while replaying the conversation from Blake. I sighed.
Me: Raincheck?
He replied back immediately.
Hawkins: Movie?
I smiled. He wasn't giving up so easily.
Me: Another time perhaps? Just not feeling up for it.
* * *
I finished the rest of my shift in zombie mode. I was just walking out the door, when a sleek Tesla pulled up to the curb, and Grayson got out.
I smiled. "Grayson, hey."
He came around, opening the passenger door. "Glad I caught you. Are you heading home? I'll give you a ride."
I jumped in, expecting Emmalin to be inside, but she wasn't. I'd actually never been by myself with Grayson before, so this was interesting.
"Everything okay? Is Emmalin okay?"
He nodded not taking his eyes off the road. "Perfect. Couldn't be better. Well, they could be better."
My eyes cut to his, and he briefly looked to me. "What's going on? Anything I can do to help?" I immediately started to worry. I saw him smile.
"Actually yes, I'm planning a trip for a few close friends and family. How would you like to go to Anguilla?"
My eyes widened. "The country?"
"That's the one."
"Holy shit! That is so amazing! I would love to go. I can't believe Emmalin didn't tell me."
Grayson grimaced. "She doesn't know." I paused, as I looked at him in confusion. "And I need it kept that way. Not a word is to be mentioned."
I leaned back against my seat as we slowed to a stop in front of my building. Suddenly realization hit me, and I turned toward Grayson. "You're finally doing it, aren't you?"
He looked over at me with a glint of a smile, before motioning toward the window. I looked over, and Hawkins stood just outside with that intense look in his eyes again. "I'll see you soon, Gwen, you're in safe hands."
