by Marie Skye
I jumped. “My…my phone was off.”
“Why? I told you, I needed to talk to you. My calls are fucking important, Gwen, you fucking know that!”
I looked around me. Isabella and Chace were talking to Grayson’s parents. Grayson’s sister Meredith and her husband were in a conversation with Hawkins, across the table.
“It’s that guy you’re with, isn’t it?”
I focused back on the conversation.
“You don’t mean shit to him, Gwen. You know that, don’t you? You’re just another piece of ass to him.”
“That’s not true,” I whispered.
“Speak up, Gwen. Say it louder, but next time say it so it sounds believable.” After a few seconds, he spoke again. “That’s what I thought. Tell me, Gwen, what do you know about him? Why is he with someone like you? He won’t love you Gwen. I love you, I will love you. I know we’ve been through a lot, but I’ve changed, I told you that. Things are different now, I just need time.”
I glanced up, and Hawkins was watching me closely. He pretty much tuned out his previous conversation, and was now solely focused on me. He had a concerned look on his face. “You okay?” he mouthed to me.
I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t move. I just sat there, the phone pressed to my ear.
“Are you listening to me, Gwen! I’m talking, and you don’t even fucking care, you stupid bitch!” I jumped at his words. I watched as Hawkins got up, walked toward me, crouched in front of me, and studied my expression. I tried to smile and act like everything was okay, but he must’ve heard shouting from the phone, and he held out his hand.
“Give me the phone.”
I held back, and gave him a smile. “It’s okay, it’s just my mom.”
He wasn’t convinced at all, and his voice grew sterner. “Give me the phone, Gwen.”
I quickly hung up, and took a deep breath. His eyes didn’t leave mine as he grabbed my hand, and helped me up. He turned to everyone. “Gwen and I are calling it a night.”
“Aww.” Isabella came over giving me a hug. “I suppose so, since our guests of honor bailed on us.” She gave Hawkins a hug. “We’ll see you two in the morning.” She gave us one last wave before she joined everyone else.
Hawkins placed his hand on the small of my back, leading me up the stairs to our room. The one time I wished we didn’t share a room. The only sound that came was the click from the lock. I took a moment before turning around and facing him. He stood by the door, arms crossed, gaze heavy, and legs spread. The air was thick around us, and I almost felt like I was suffocating. He slowly walked toward me. What do I do? What do I say? He’s going to ask questions, and he’s going to want answers. Am, I ready to do that? If he even had an inkling that Blake came to see me, he would be up in a rage. But, we talked, that was it. Blake said he just needed someone to talk to. Hawkins would understand, that, right? That shouldn’t make him that upset, would it?
“Gwen.” I looked up at the sound of my name. Hawkins jerked his chin towards the door. “What happened back there?”
I slowly swallowed, and tried to make my voice bright. “Nothing, it was just my mom…”
He held up his hand, cutting me off. “Do not lie to me, Gwen. Ever. Understand?”
Hawkins’s eyes held rage. I'd seen this look before, from Blake. His jaw was tight, his hands clenched as he started to stalk toward me. I turned my head and braced myself for the impact. They don't like it when you flinch. It shows you're scared of them. That I remembered. But I was shaking. Why was I shaking? Because Hawkins was bigger than Blake. His hit would be stronger, and more powerful. It would cause more damage, and perhaps would be harder to cover. I took a deep breath, just wanting him to get it over with. Suddenly his footsteps stopped, then they slowly retreated to the opposite direction.
"Gwen." My name came out as a whisper on his lips.
I slowly opened my eyes. Hawkins stood in the corner by the door. A look of dread, and anguish filled his face, as his back finally met the door.
"Did you think I was going to hit you?"
I nervously swallowed as I stared down at my hands. My eyes filled with tears. I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
"Jesus, Gwen." I heard him take a deep breath. "It wasn't just emotional abuse, was it? That fucker..." His voice cut off, as he turned away from me. I was about to say something, when suddenly he opened the door, and left. I felt my heart crack in my chest. That was my secret, my secret alone. And now it wasn’t.
Twenty-Three
Hawkins
"Chace! Walk with me." He started to say something, but the look I gave him, made him whisper something to Isabella, and he walked out the front door after me. I was already a half mile down the road by the time he caught up with me.
"The fuck, man? Are we going jogging? I'm not dressed for this."
I abruptly stopped and picked up a ceramic potted plant, and threw it against a tree. The loud crash echoed in the night.
Chace cleared his throat. “Okay, well I guess if anyone asks, we can say it was like that.”
I stood, staring at the tiny shards of pieces, with my hands balled into fists, breathing heavily. I felt like I was drowning.
“Talk to me, man, this isn’t like you.”
I finally exhaled, before turning to him. “I love her.”
He looked at me uncertain at first. “Gwen?”
“Yes, Gwen. I fucking love her.”
He rubbed his neck. “Help me out here, man, you just came out here, and broke shit.” He paused. “That was already like that.”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “I didn’t fucking know I loved her, ‘till a few minutes ago. I knew I had feelings for her, strong feelings, but I didn’t know I fucking loved her, until the moment I found out her piece of shit ex-boyfriend laid his hands on her. I wanted his blood drained from his body! That’s when I knew I would do anything not to see that fucking pain, or sadness in her eyes again. That fucker is still controlling her.” I started to pace.
“He beat her?” Chace’s voice was low, but full of menace.
“And God knows what else.” I shook my head, and sighed. “I’ll make a few calls, and get him handled.”
Chace’s eyes met mine. “Make it permanent.”
I headed back to our room, but stopped short of the door. I wasn’t ready to go back in yet. I wasn’t ready to talk to her yet. I turned around, and grabbed my jogging shoes instead, and hit the pavement. I needed this time alone with my thoughts, to think, and to strategize a plan. Of course, my first thought was a bullet straight to the temple. But, I also want him to suffer, and that’s the part that put a smile on my face. My steps slowed as my phone buzzed in my pocket. My initial thought, was Gwen, but saw Grayson’s name.
“Hey man, everything okay?”
“You tell me.” I heard movement in the background, a door shutting, then his voice became less of a whisper. “Chace called, he seemed bothered, and said I should speak to you.”
I exhaled sharply. “I really don’t want to interrupt your engagement night, sir.”
“Don’t sir me now, Hawkins. If Chace was worried enough to call me, then it was cause for concern. Don’t worry about interrupting anything. You’re family.”
I held back the emotion that swirled over me. My own family was far away, and being in the military, and now serving security, to one of the most prominent men in the country, my life was pretty hectic. “I appreciate that, Grayson. I do.”
“Good, don’t ever doubt it. Now, tell me what’s going on.”
* * *
By the time, I returned to our room it was after two in the morning. I let Grayson in, on what I knew. He arranged for me and Gwen to take his plane back, to afford us some privacy so we could talk away from everyone else, and him and Emmalin would stay an extra day.
Gwen was long past asleep, in a tight ball in a corner of the bed. I wanted to wake her up, and demand answers from her, but at the same time, I wanted
to wrap her in my arms, and tell her everything was going to be okay. That it would never happen again. To tell her I loved her.
I ran my hand through my hair as I stripped and took a quick shower before getting into bed next to her. When I pulled back the blanket, I frowned at the pillow she placed in the middle that would separate us from any contact.
I sighed as I threw the offending pillow on the floor and pulled her to me. Pissed or not, she could be pissed in my arms.
Twenty-Four
Gwen
I awoke to a body wrapped tightly around me. I softly moaned, and then froze. He was supposed to be on his side of the bed. I peered over my shoulder, and looked between us. No sign of a pillow, except for the ones our heads were lying on. I carefully untangled myself from Hawkins, and went down to the kitchen, and met with Emmalin and Isabella.
“Good morning!” Isabella said in a sing song voice. She held up a glass of orange juice to me, which I took graciously.
I took the chair next to Emmalin, and looked her up and down. “Well, don’t you have a ‘just fucked multiple times’ look going on.”
Her cheeks instantly flushed, as she covered her face. Isabella laughed out loud as she pointed to Emmalin. “See! I told you.”
Emmalin rolled her eyes. “Mimosas at the pool after breakfast? Maybe get in some swimming?”
I nodded, taking a few pieces of fruit. “Are you sure you don’t need a nap first? Looks like Grayson wore you out last night.”
Isabella keeled over. “Gwen is on a roll.”
Emmalin stood up from the table. “Ha ha, very funny. I’m going to go change, I’ll see you punks out there.” When she reached the entrance of the kitchen she stopped and turned around. “Besides, who’s the one upstairs in bed taking a morning nap? I think it’s safe to say, I wore him out.” She winked, before running up the stairs.
Isabella, and I looked at each other and started giggling. She stretched. “She has a point. Chace is still sleep. I guess the same for Hawkins?”
I darted my eyes away, and shrugged, as I stood up. I didn’t want to talk about this. “Not exactly.” Before she could question me, I changed the subject. “I’m going to change, I’ll see you out there?”
She nodded as she finished her coffee.
As I made my way upstairs, I thought to myself there was no way I was going out to the pool in a bathing suit. I didn’t feel like explaining the bruises on my arms, and there was no way in hell I was going out there with those two, who would look flawless compared to my frumpy bod.
When I reached my room, I was greeted by Hawkins. A shirtless Hawkins, and my mouth started to water at the sight of him. I cleared my throat and looked at the ground.
“Good morning, Gwen.”
“Morning,” I mumbled out.
He sighed. “We need to talk.”
Ahh, the infamous ‘we need to talk,’ speech. The one, right before they broke up with you. Or in this case, right before they said ‘hey you know we were only fucking until the person I really wanted to be with, was available, right?’
“I’m meeting the girls at the pool for drinks right now. I would prefer it if we did this back home, that way I can at least have one last nice night here.”
His head tilted, and for a moment there, he looked almost confused. He finally nodded. “Alright. I think I’ll go for a swim, too.”
I shrugged. As far as I was concerned, he could do whatever he wanted. I grabbed my clothes, deciding, that I could change in the pool house. Halfway there, I realized I forgot my sunscreen. As I got nearer to the door of our room, I heard Hawkins talking.
“Of course, I am, don’t you fucking think I know that? It’s complicated right now, but I’ll fix it.” I heard him sigh. “No, Gwen isn’t the type of person I would want.”
I froze as tears welled in my eyes, and I backed away from the door slowly. I swallowed down the knot forming in my throat, as I headed for the stairs, and out the door, straight to the pool house. If ever I needed confirmation that we were through that was it.
* * *
I sat sipping on my mimosa. A few minutes later Hawkins walked by us.
“Ladies.”
He gave us all a smile as he strolled on by to the other end of the pool.
Emmalin tipped her glasses down. “Hmm, so that’s what Hawkins looks like with no shirt on. Well done, Gwen.” I felt myself blush. Dammit, I shouldn’t be blushing.
“Care to join me?” Hawkins shouted over.
I pulled my knees to my chest, and shook my head slowly. I took another sip of my mimosa, when Emmalin spoke. “Gwen, why aren’t you in a bathing suit? Aren’t you going to get hot in all that?”
I looked down at what I was wearing. A long-sleeved shirt, and shorts, while everyone else was in swimwear. I smirked. “Yeah, I’ll get in a suit when I lose about thirty pounds.”
“What are you talking about? You have an amazing body!”
I shook my head. “You’re being nice because you have to as my friend. I’m still trying to figure out why someone like Hawkins—who looks like he just stepped off the cover of GQ—Is feigning any interest in me. I can’t think of a reason, other than him thinking I would be an easy, quick lay, because no one wants me. He could have any woman.” Of course, now I knew, but I couldn’t tell them that. I didn’t want to ruin this trip for everybody.
The rest of the day I did everything I could to avoid Hawkins. He knew it, too. For one, I was embarrassed. And two, overhearing that conversation pretty much confirmed he never wanted to be with me anyway. I took a deep breath as I stared at myself in the mirror, and my phone buzzed. I looked at the screen, and it was a text from Blake. The irony in all of this was Blake was right about Hawkins this whole time.
"Am I crazy, or are you avoiding me?" I glanced over at Hawkins as he stood at the door, looking absolutely delectable, in his low hung pajama pants.
I did a fake yawn. "It's just been a busy day." I focused on trying to make myself look busy, by playing with the drawstring of my yoga pants. I finally muffled another fake yawn, and pulled back the blanket, and buried myself deep under it. I heard him sigh before turning off the light, and getting into bed behind me. I moved to the edge, but was stopped, as he pulled me to him.
"I'm not sure if you're doing that on purpose or what, but I prefer you in my arms."
I sighed. I was too damn tired to fight. Besides, once we landed back in Chicago, the fairytale I once knew would be over.
Twenty-Five
Hawkins
I don't know what the hell had gotten into Gwen, but I couldn't wait to get on the damn plane. With it just being the two of us, and the crew under orders to not bother us, we had all the time in the world to hash it out. At least fifteen hours’ worth. After we said our goodbyes to Grayson and Emmalin at the villa, we rode in silence to the private airport. She clutched her sweater around her. In fact, the entire time she's been here, she wore long sleeves, as if she were hiding something.
She finally turned to me when she saw us drive past the plane Isabella and Chace were boarding. "We're not going with them?"
"No. Grayson arranged for you and I to have his plane, so we could be alone.” I watched as she started fidgeting. After we boarded and sat, she kept fidgeting.
“Everything okay?”
She turned to me, giving me that fake ass smile, she managed to master over this vacation week in front of everyone. Everyone but me. “Yeah, everything’s fine.”
I smiled to myself, as I patiently waited until we reached altitude. She had no idea what was in store for her.
Twenty-Six
Gwen
I felt someone gently shaking me, and finally opened my eyes. I peered up to see Hawkins standing over me. He gave me a small smile. “Come with me.” I took his hand, and he led me to the bedroom, shutting it behind him, and motioning for me to sit.
“You’ve been avoiding me.” He didn’t say it as a question, more so as a fact.
I looked down
at my hands. “Look at me, Gwen.” My head snapped up.
"What's going on with you? With us?"
I shifted slightly as he moved toward me. I finally sighed, looked up at him, and shrugged. "We had a good run, Hawkins, but we both know what this was really about, right? So just save it, you said plenty already.”
He stared at me a beat before he finally spoke. "What's your favorite color?"
I balked at his question. "What does that have to do with anything?"
He cocked an eyebrow, and crossed his arms. "Humor me."
I sighed, shaking my head. "Yellow."
"Any yellow?"
"More of a pale yellow."
"Do you have a hated fruit?"
I wrinkled my nose. "Apricot. Always hated them. My mother used to force me to eat them against my will when I was younger. She would serve them as dessert, and said I couldn't leave the table until they were all gone. I would literally throw them up. She served them because I hated them." I grimaced at the memory.
"Favorite fruit?"
I smiled. "Cantaloupe. I don't know, it's just something about it. It's refreshing to me."
"Comfort food?"
I pulled my knees to my chest, as I relaxed more. "Peanut butter. Or popcorn. Either/or." The bed shifted as Hawkins sat next to me.
"This is the most you've talked to me, since we’ve been here. I missed you." He moved a strand of hair from my face, and I felt myself leaning into his touch.
My eyes watered, and I jerked back. "We can't," I whispered.
He grabbed my arms and I hissed. My arms were still a bit sore from the bruises. Hawkins looked down at my sweater still covering my arms. I started to pull my sweater tighter around me, and stood up.
"Besides, I'm not your type, Hawkins, we both know that."
