Standing, he strides towards me, and I’m rooted to my spot on the floor. The man I once pictured as my future stands in front of me, looking over my face with a yearning in his eyes that scares me.
“Alessia, you look happy, this place is incredible.” He says it, but his eyes don’t leave mine. “Can we talk for a minute? Alone?”
This is not what I wanted. I never wanted him to touch my place. Papa says to me in Spanish, which I know Derrick won’t understand, “Mija, take care of your past, whatever future you choose or who you choose, it needs to be dealt with. You should have talked this out a long time ago, it’s time. Lay your demons to rest, baby girl.”
Taking my Papa’s advice, Derrick, my ex, and I walk through the bar, back to my office. All I feel is a thousand eyes on my back. Shit, Blade will hear of this. I just hope he’ll hear me out later.
∞ ∞ ∞
Blade
Spider and I just wrapped club business for tonight, getting our books balanced and our calls done, when a call comes in from Cowboy. “Prez, did you meet all of Fuego’s men?”
“No, why would that be a problem? And get to the fucking point, what is going on?”
“Vegas has her family here with her, the bar has been packed watching the game. She’s too into the game to notice this fucker, Hawk, sitting in the corner, and he’s been watching her all night. Like I thought, he was just going to make his move after the game, and he did. Hawk walked right up to her, man, and she froze like she saw a ghost. Her father didn’t look very happy about it, but Vegas and Hawk headed to her office. Alone. What do you want me to do?”
“Not a goddamn thing.” Tossing my phone on the table, with my head down, I feel my heart trying to jump out of my chest. I try to calm the fuck down before I head over there and make another fool of myself.
“Hawk is her ex, bro, she hasn’t spoken to him in two years. I heard him asking about her around the club. I put Cowboy on him. It’s Derrick, man.” Spider knew, and I get he’s trying to let us do our thing and get to know each other, but fuck.
“A heads up would have been nice, dickhead! Derrick, that fucker, is only here to get her back. Word was going around about me and Vegas. Fuck, man, get your shit on, we are riding over there. She’s mine, she belongs at my side.”
“Fuck, yeah, Prez, let’s go claim your Ol’ Lady.” Spider follows me out, and soon we’re on the road to The Black Rose.
∞ ∞ ∞
Vegas
Sitting in my chair, I hear the door shut behind Derrick. We haven’t been alone or even talked since that day when I left California. The air in here is suffocating with the feelings of the past. He stands at the door, still focused on my face. I’ll wait him out. This is my place, I have the upper hand here.
“Alessia, where can I start? Say I’m sorry? We both know you could care less about an apology. What I want to tell you is that a part of me left the day you did. A piece of me broke when I broke your trust. I want you back. I’ll transfer up here to the local chapter, do what I need to do to show you I am ready to be the man you wanted then. I want it all back, Alessia. Every kiss, every time we came together. I miss your touch, your heart, I miss my best friend. Can we try to get us back?” He pleads with me, and, to my surprise, I believe him, he really does want me back.
“Derick, you had it all when we were married for six years. I gave you my trust and my future. It wasn’t enough then and it’s supposed to be enough now? Your hopeful words won’t get me to give into your plead of a bright future now. Did you really fight for me when I left? You sure as fuck didn’t. That says it all, Derrick, says a whole lot about Jenn’s little sister, Ashley, doesn’t it?”
“What does it say, Alessia? Tell me!” Derrick sounds annoyed and frustrated. Never could handle my mouth or confidence, he always wanted a good girl to stay at home and be submissive to him.
“You fucked her more than once, you were probably giving her the hopes and dreams every woman wants to hear. My hopes and dreams, the ones you had already promised to give me. You were setting up your life to leave me behind. Why didn’t you have the balls to go through with it? I’ll tell you why, because we both know my Papa and brother would have buried your ass six feet deep for betraying and disrespecting me. Consider it a parting gift the fact that I never told a soul about who you were with that day.”
Jenn and Dana know, but no one else. The longer I talk about this, the anger pours out thicker with each word.
“Really? Is that what you think? No, I wasn’t giving her the love I GAVE you. Ever! I’m not going to lie and say we didn’t fuck around because we did. You and I were so young, Alessia, known each other since high school. Hooked up, and I couldn’t control you. You were a force I couldn’t let go of. You are so bright and beautiful, I felt like I was a shadow compared to you. When Ashley started hanging around the club, just back home from college, she looked at me like I looked at you, and I fucked her to feel better about myself. It made me feel like the man I never could feel around you. I didn’t have the confidence you did, okay?”
He looks at me with pain in his eyes and continues. “That’s on me now, I learned that shit the hard way. I thought it was your love in me lacking, not my confidence in me, in us.” Dropping his head in his hands, Derrick grabs his hair and looks back up at me. Glossy eyes are pleading for my love and forgiveness.
“Don’t you think I needed all of you too, Derrick? I needed your trust, love, respect, I also needed your words. We were best friends. At some point, you stopped talking to me about your fears, hopes and dreams. You pulled yourself away from me. I gave you your space, Derrick, thinking you would come back to me. You used that space to fuck new pussy, to make yourself feel better!”
I can’t stand the look on his face at my words, but he will hear and feel my words. Like the pain I felt at his betrayal. “That broke my heart, broke all of us. You walked out on us. Instead of coming to me, your friend, your wife, you went to another woman. I can’t forget that, not ever. Say we got back together? You end up in another low situation, I will never believe you won’t go to another woman for strength. You should have come to me. I was your backup. You forgot that in your vows to me.”
Courage is what I feel right now. I will rip every piece of me apart to get this over with. Time apart has given me courage to face this man again.
“That’s just it, Alessia, how do you go to the woman you think is better than you and ask for strength?” Derrick stands, his voice rising with his emotions, stepping in front of me, hitting his chest with a fist. “That made me feel worse! I see the fool I was, what I was lacking back then. I see you now, Alessia! I see the woman that always wanted to be free, but also be special to the man she lays with. I didn’t know how to let you go, be as bright as the confidence inside you, and at the same time keep you close. I am sorry! I want you back. I want us back, Alessia, please?” Derrick’s voice drops with his sincerity, crouches next to me, practically on his knees for me.
For a few seconds, I look at my best friend, the one that I remember. The man I married. For a short moment in time, I mourn him for the last time. “Life is crazy, one day you think you can have it all, the next it all can be gone. We weren’t good enough for each other, Derrick. Not just you, but me too. I see that now. I should have pulled you to me, consumed you with my love. I didn’t do that, did I? You resented me for who I was. I do think now, even if you wouldn’t have done what you did, that we would have split eventually. You’re right, I needed the freedom to grow, and instead of you feeling a part of it, you felt left out. I thought you needed time to deal with your thoughts, I let you hang yourself. Then I blamed it all on you.”
I sigh at the realization that I am as much to blame, not for his cheating but for us growing apart. “Derrick, we were friends once who found comfort in each other. We let our feelings of lust and friendship be blinded by what we thought was love. You don’t know me now, and I don’t really know you. We are just two old friends. The wom
an you see today isn’t the same girl from then. I think you see what we were never going to be. You need to find that woman who really is your future. Someone who compliments and understands you better than I could ever have.”
Standing up, I feel done. I feel like I just realized and faced what I never wanted to, that I was part to blame. Derrick stands next to me, looking me in the eyes, looking heartbroken, but also resigned. There’s a knock at the door. We both turn our heads towards the door. “Come in.”
Blade opens the door, and I see Spider standing at the bar, arms crossed over his chest. My breath catches, because I’m scared. What will Blade think? ‘Please let him hear me out on this,’ I keep saying over and over to myself. He stays by the door and that scares me. ‘Please come stand by me,’ I call out to him with my heart.
Derrick breaks me from my thoughts with his words, but not my eyes which stay on Blade. “I see the man who stands by that door is the man you already chose.” Blade grunts, and I can tell he’s about to explode, but keeping it reeled in. Derrick storms out, also slamming the door fiercely on the past, on us. Finally, I feel free of the pain we were holding onto.
My voice sounds small and shaky, “Blade, that was Derrick.”
“I know who that was, and I know why he was here. The only thing I want to hear from you is what do you want, Alessia?” He sounds more like the fearless Prez, and less like my Blade.
“You, Blade, that’s all I want, just you.” I pray that he can feel the truth.
“Did you work out your past, is it over?”, Blade asks a little less defensive.
“Yes, it is all over.” I pause, then ask, “Do you want me to tell you about it?”
Blade moves in front of me, running his hand up my arm again, tracing my roses. “Nah, babe, I just need to feel you right now.” His hand continues up my neck, touching my cheek, then behind my neck. My eyes follow his hand, then up to his honey whiskey colored ones. Blade’s lips touch mine reverently, then his forehead to mine. “Grab your coat, Alessia, we are going for a ride to your place.”
Grabbing my jacket and zipping it up, we head out the back door to his bike. Blade starts his bike, holding his helmet out to me. Snapping the helmet on, I grab his outreached hand, swinging my leg over and sliding in close behind him.
The night air is freezing on the back of his bike. My arms snake up under his jacket, crossing my forearms across his stomach and making an “X”. Scooting in so close, my body feels welded tightly to his. Blade rides through the starry night, and we turn together, our bodies in sync with one another. I pray to the stars above to please make this one right, make this man be my new beginning.
Chapter 15
Blade
Beautiful. Pulling Alessia close to my body, I unzip her leather jacket and let it hit the bedroom floor. My hands start skimming her sides, taking her shirt off over her head and tossing it somewhere behind me. Kissing along the side of her neck, I inhale her scent. Her head drops to the side and then back up when I drop her bra, kissing down the middle of her chest. I place one long kiss right over this woman’s heart, the heart that fits mine. My match. I kiss down to her toned stomach. She giggles, my lips stretch in a smile. My Alessia is ticklish. I pull her pants down, taking one boot off at a time. I undress her until all that’s left is her in her dark blue silk G-string.
On my knees, I turn her around so that her back is facing me, and I start touching her. From her knees, my hands flow up to the curve of her ass. Kissing each of her cheeks, I pull her underwear down. I drop kisses up her back, then stand behind her, and press my chest to her back. My hands grab both of her tits, and I whisper in her ear, “I can’t share any part of you, Alessia… I’m selfish when it comes to you, I want to consume all of you. Tie you to my side forever. I never realized someone could mean as much to me as you do.” I hug her to me, tightly so that I can make her feel my words.
Alessia turns in my arms, cupping my face in her small hands. “I want you take all of me, Blade, consume my heart, thoughts and world with you. Make me yours, destroy me for all others. I want to consume every part of your life too.” She takes her hands from my face to undo my belt and unzip my pants, pushing my boxers down with them.
Grabbing her face, I kiss her, sealing our words in a promise to each other. That we will consume the other, destroying the chance of there ever being anyone else. Kicking off my pants and shoes, I grab my shirt at my back with one hand, ridding it with the rest of our clothes thrown around. I step forward, and Alessia follows my lead by stepping back to her bed, lying down in the middle. I look at her naked and open to me, burning her in my soul and memory forever.
Alessia smiles up at me, lifts her hand and calls me to her, picking up her legs and opening wide for me. “I’m ready, Blade, I want you inside of me, claim me as yours.” Both of her hands lift over her head, grabbing the iron of her headboard, submitting her body to me.
Kneeling before her on the bed, my hand glides down the smooth skin of her leg, until I touch her silky pussy with my fingers, pumping two fingers in her. Her breathing picks up and her legs open a little more. Bending forward, I give it one slow lick up the middle, and one more kiss.
Lying the rest of my body on top of hers, my dick is anxious to claim her, along with my heart. My hands fist her thick hair, my lips find hers in a dominating kiss. She whimpers for more beneath me, grinding her wet pussy against my hard dick. One hand stills her hip, and, thrusting my dick forward, I claim the rest of her. Marking her, taking her body as mine.
Our kisses devour each other’s breaths and taste. Her hands run through my hair and scratch down my back. My thrusts are measured and steady, getting us both drunk on lust. Alessia wraps both legs around me, content with the pace I set. Both of us want this to last.
My hand runs up her stomach to her tits, pulling one nipple, then the other. Her back arches, asking me for more, and I can’t hold back from her desire. Thrusting harder, faster, her breaths pick up quicker. I pull her lips from mine, kissing her cheek and neck, filling my ears with her pleads of ecstasy.
Pumping in and out of her, the sounds of our bodies echo off the walls. The only two people in this room, in the world, are in this bed. She gasps for air, coming around my dick. The sounds of her and seeing her come have me exploding my cum inside her pussy. The thought of me and her coming together is too much to hold back.
She grabs my face licking across my lips, opening me for her. Our tongues dance around each other, hands running over each other’s bodies, not ready to let go of this moment. I keep my dick inside of her as far and for as long as possible. The pull we have to each other is intense. It’s beautiful.
∞ ∞ ∞
Vegas
We haven’t moved from our spot on the bed. Picking up my head, I rest my chin on my hand that’s on his chest. “Blade?”
“Hmm?” He hums out in response looking at me, but keeps running one hand through my hair. “Are you not worried about knocking me up? Or other things? We didn’t wrap you up,” I point out, feeling a little stressed over it.
“Alessia, I would not put my dick in you if I thought for second it would give you something. You are the only woman I have ever gone without a condom into. Second, if I knocked you up, would it be so bad? I figured if you didn’t want a baby you would have stopped me.”
I would have stopped him. Thinking on his words for a minute, I wonder, do I want a baby now? It’s too much to consider so soon, I know that much. “Blade, I have had an IUD for a while, no babies will be made tonight, big guy,” I pat his chest to let him down easy.
“Doesn’t matter to me when it happens, Alessia, it will happen, when you want it to. You’ll tell me when you’re ready. I trust you, so I didn’t ask, I didn’t need to.” Kissing his chest, I lay my head back down, my arm across his strong abs.
Roaming his fingers across my roses, he asks me again, “Who did these roses for you? The lines are clean, and the shading is perfect. The black with deep red shading
is artistic”
“She is a cousin of mine, lives in California, does a lot of tatts for the members. I started them a few years ago and would add a few more when she would come visit. Wild times, that’s when we started our Wednesday girls’ night. Except for Dana.”
I start to laugh behind my words as I continue, “She would never get one. Sometimes she would think that yeah, she should or could get a small one. As soon as the needles came out, she would freak. Just like Phoebe in that episode of Friends.”
I look up at him. “If you don’t know Friends, then I’m sorry, we cannot be together. You should know this now before we go on any further. Non-negotiable. I draw the line,” I cut my hand through the air.
Blade just lays there, listening to my story, amusement written across his features. “Anyway, I got them for the obvious reason of my last name, De Rosa, but, also, roses are strong and can outlive most plants with little care. Gorgeous flower with the silkiest petals and pretty smell. I loved the thorns the most though, like the armor we all have, to warn off others to stay away. When I had them done, they were my armor. To keep me strong, keep me going, remind me that I am beautiful to me. My brother came with me one time and got a few roses done too, matching ones. He said to me, ‘You are never alone, Alessia, we are always family till we die’. I think he did it to support me, remind me he’d always have my back.” “Did your family not know what you went through?” His face is concerned, his hand stops running through my hair, resting his hand on my back.
“We never talked about it, we never said the details. Long story short, my Papa and brother had to know. Being who Papa was, he set me free in a way he knew I needed to grow and let me work it out myself. My mom wanted me to talk to her about it, but I wouldn’t. I wanted to start over, not dwell on what I couldn’t change. They all knew, but let me go to get better or be stronger. I needed that, the support, not the talks.”
Betting on Forever Page 10
