by Terry Towers
“So what happened? She would have been pretty young.”
“She was. She’d just turned 20 when she died. And to answer the question of how, it was cancer.”
“My god. I’m so, so sorry.”
Chase pulled her into him, kissing the top of her head. “No need to be. It was a long time ago and I don’t even remember her. To rub salt into the wound she was also a model. Apparently she’d gotten numerous jobs that Gabriella had wanted, but was never able to land.”
“Still that’s no reason to take her anger for your mother out on you.”
“Gabriella focused on Eric. It’s not like she abused me, that was hardly the case, just ignored me for the most part. My father was and still is married more to his job than to Gabriella. And everyone, Gabriella included, knows he still cheats. But then again she cheats too so I guess it all works out in the wash. At the same time they expect nothing but excellence from their sons. I spent most of my life trying to live up to their expectations, hoping to get the love and attention my brother got from them.”
She pulled away from him and looked up into his eyes. “That’s messed up. Why be married if you’re not going to give that other person everything you are? And to treat a kid that way, where they know the other is favoured. It’s sad.”
“Gabriella loves this life and my father doesn’t want to lose half of everything he owns. And of course it looks good for his image. Rock star defense attorney, hot former model wife, girlfriends on the side. Why would he want to change it?”
She grimaced, her grimace making him chuckle. “’Cause it’s not right.”
“It’s something that works for them. I don’t pry into their business and quite frankly, I just don’t care.”
“How’s your relationship with your father now?”
Chase chuckled again. “I’m starting to feel like I’m in the middle of a therapy session.” Though, now that he was beginning to talk about it, he was finding that he really didn’t care as much as he normally would talking about his life growing up. He suspected a lot of it had to do with the fact it was Tessa – he doubted he could talk like this to anyone else. She was curious and with good reason, he’d be equally as curious if the roles were reversed. Over the weeks she’d bared her soul to him and he’d kept her at arm’s length.
“I’m sorry.” She pulled away from him and was about to take a step away when he grabbed her wrist and pulled her back in and against his chest.
He lowered his head, grazing his lips with hers. “You know, the one advantage of those ungodly high heels is that there’s less distance to go to kiss you.” He pulled back ever so slightly, waiting for her to come to him.
Slipping her arms up his chest and over his shoulders, she laced her fingers behind his neck as he held her a little tighter, her breasts crushing against his chest. “Is this your way of getting out of answering questions?”
Smiling, he shook his head, grazing his lips over hers once more. “I’d never do a thing like that.”
“Liar.” She closed the slight distance, her lips claiming his. His entire body came alive as she rubbed up against him, the friction rousing his cock and the desire that came with it. His hands slipped down her waist to cup both ass cheeks and he pulled her tighter to him, grinding his cock against her pelvis. She moaned, her body trembling against his.
He quickly assessed the chances of being caught if he bent her over the railing and took her then and there. His assessment, which was leaning toward giving it a go, was interrupted by someone clearing their throat.
Tessa jumped back from him so quickly she stumbled on her heels; had it not been for his quick reflexes she would have fallen. “Th-thanks.”
“Are you all right?”
She nodded and brushed a lock of hair that had fallen over her face out of her eyes.
Looking for the source of the sound, he immediately spotted Bethany. “Everyone is preparing to sit for supper. Eric called and said he was going to be a little late so your folks and guests are eating now.”
“Thank you.”
Without another word Bethany spun on her heel and quickly disappeared around a corner and out of sight.
“This is so weird,” Tessa said as she began to slowly make their way back to the house.
“What?”
“You. Here.” She motioned toward the house as it came into sight. “It’s just not what I pictured, I’m still trying to get my head around it.”
“There’s a lot I’ve done to appease my father and to a lesser extent my mother. But there’s only so long you can pretend to be something you’re not before you have to take a step back and take an honest look at yourself.”
“So is the reason you dislike lawyers because that’s what your father is?”
“It’s because I was one.”
He said it so nonchalantly that she stopped in her tracks and stared at him, forcing him to stop as well. “You were a lawyer?”
“Geez, could you say that with a little less disbelief in your voice?” He was more amused than upset. However, it was the usual reaction whenever someone discovered he’d gone to law school and been a practicing attorney for several years and then given it all up for a dream.
~*~ TT ~*~
Tessa
“I umm.” Her frown deepened, feeling horrible that he may have taken her surprise the wrong way. “It’s not that I have a hard time believing it.”
“Liar,” he challenged, amusement in his tone. With a hand at the small of her back he urged her forward and she complied. “I’m just some tattooed freak show to you, I get it, it’s okay.”
Get your ass busy digging yourself out of the hole you made for yourself, Tessa. She groaned inwardly.
“You’re such an artistic and easy-going person,” she continued, “I just can’t see you behind a desk and battling it out in a courtroom.” Tessa rolled her eyes at him. “And you’re not a tattooed freak show.”
“Uh-huh.” She could tell he was attempting to put a hurt expression on his face, but failed miserably. “You’re entirely right, it wasn’t who I was. It may have been my father and Eric followed Dad’s footsteps, but I couldn’t live the lie. I tried, but I had to be true to myself.”
“So all that school. All the years. Law school. Passing the bar exam and… for nothing…”
He stopped walking; she stopped with him. “You know, there are a couple of ways that you can look at it. You can see it as a waste of time and money. Or you can see it as a stepping stone to realizing who and what I truly am.” He reached out and touched the side of her face, his face taking on a serious expression, all joking gone. “You have a dark cloud over you. It weighs you down and you don’t need it in your life, Tessa.”
Oh god here we go. Why is he doing this to me and at his family’s house of all places on our way to have supper?
“Please, Chase.” She sniffed, forcing back the tears as she attempted to pull away from him, but instead of letting her he pulled her closer, wrapping her in the warmth of his embrace.
“No. Tessa, you need to hear this.”
She tucked her head under his chin, not able to look him in the eye, but giving in and slipping her hands under his suit jacket, clutching at the shirt underneath. “You’re going to make me cry. Please.”
“Your father’s death and mother’s death weren’t your fault. Blaming yourself isn’t reasonable.”
“My father wanted to see me that day. I said no, I was too busy. If I’d gone out to dinner with him then he wouldn’t have been in that accident. He wouldn’t be dead right now. I’d been selfish and he’d paid the price.”
“That’s beyond your control. How can that possibly be your fault? That’s an unreasonable burden to put on yourself.”
“I know, but…” Why couldn’t he get that she couldn’t let go? She wasn’t ready to stop the self-blame, not by a long shot.
“But nothing.” His tone softened. “Are you afraid of being happy? Is that the issue? Are you scared i
f you let go of the guilt that it would somehow be also letting them go?”
If she cried all of Samantha’s work on her makeup would be for nothing. She sniffed, forcing the tears back. She stepped back and out of his embrace suddenly, taking him by surprise so he wasn’t able to pull her back fast enough, then continued walking down the path toward the house. “We have a dinner to get to, I have a feeling your parents won’t appreciate us being late,” she called over her shoulder.
She didn’t hear him follow immediately. But when he did it only took him a few seconds to catch up. “We’ll discuss this more later,” he whispered to her.
Not if I have anything to say about it, she said to herself, not replying as the gardens came into view.
Chapter 18
Tessa
Dinner was like something out of a movie, served to everyone at the insanely long table by numerous servers. And as expected the food was exceptional. But her mind wouldn’t quit obsessing about two things. One was whether Chase was right – was she scared to let go of the guilt? Was torturing herself with guilt her way of punishing herself for being alive while they were gone? Or was it a way to keep them alive?
The second thing that she found herself obsessing over was Eric. She’d wanted to talk to Chase about him, explain things before he got there, but they’d gotten sidetracked. Now it was too late.
However, they were now finishing their main course and Eric still hadn’t shown up. Maybe she’d get lucky. But her luck didn’t hold up; as she was forking the last of her steak into her mouth he appeared in the entryway of the dining room. He had come alone and looked larger than life as he stood in the doorway, wearing a suit she’d seen him in before and surveying the people sitting around the table.
Everyone was so engrossed in their respective meals that she was the first to see him. When his eyes caught hers the look of shock on his face was so apparent, if her heart weren’t beating a mile a minute she would have been amused.
“Eric, honey, I was scared you weren’t going to show up.” With a big welcoming smile on her face, Gabriella rushed to her son’s side, giving him a warm hug. Much different from the one Chase had received. She pulled back and looked around Eric as if in shock. “No date?”
“No, Mom. I’m on my own today.” While he was speaking to his mother, his stare was locked onto Tessa’s. “I see we have someone new.”
“Oh yes.” Gabriella turned and began to introduce the table.
Eric’s eyes never left Tessa’s.
“And this is Chase’s friend, Tessa.”
To her relief he finally shifted his gaze from Tessa to focus on Chase. “Good day, brother. Friend?” He nodded toward her as he walked across the room, his mother in tow, and sat in one of the two empty chairs directly across from her and Chase.
“This is Tessa Wilcott, and she’s my girlfriend.”
All chatter died out in the room containing over a dozen people and all eyes focused on the brothers. It was apparent she didn’t know the whole story; there had to be more between the brothers than sibling rivalry. Both men were staring at each other as if they’d happily slit the other’s throat if given the opportunity.
“Girlfriend. I see.” Eric sat back in his chair, waving off the main course, telling the server he’d take dessert only. “How long have you two been together?” He shifted his focus to Tessa.
Her breath hitched in her throat, unsure of whether she should just let everyone know Eric was her landlord or would he do it himself. To the rest of the people at the table it wouldn’t have any significance, but to Chase it certainly would; there seemed to be too much tension between them for it not to. She needed to get Chase alone and explain things before it came out of Eric’s mouth.
“A month or two,” Chase answered for her.
“Really?” Eric’s eyes remained on her. “So pretty much from the start it was love at first sight? Tessa?”
Chase’s eyes were on her as well. What in the hell was she supposed to say to that? Neither one had let the “big L” slip. Not yet, though she was sure they were approaching that point in their relationship. Since the day he asked her to meet his parents they spent every free moment together. It was just a bonus that as she was spending most of her time at the café directing the workers so they were in close proximity unless he was at the tattoo shop.
She looked over at Chase, catching his gaze. He was waiting for it. She looked around her; many people seemed to be awaiting her response. She caught sight of Eric downing a glass of wine as he also waited. Her gaze finally made its way back to Chase.
Taking a deep breath in, she slowly released it. She wasn’t sure if she was making the right choice or not, but she decided to just be honest. Looking Chase straight in the eyes she admitted something she’d been feeling for a couple of weeks now. “Yes. Yes, it was.”
The hostility in his eyes faded as Chase stared into her eyes and a hint of a smile began to curl up his lips. Taking her hand, which had her knife in a death grip, her knuckles turning white from the strain and giving it a gentle squeeze, he replied, “Love you too, baby.”
The fact that his family, Eric included, now gave the couple their complete and undivided attention didn’t even factor for Tessa at that moment. Her heart was soaring with happiness. She wanted to throw herself into his arms, ask him to say it again and again just in case she didn’t hear correctly, but she didn’t do either of those things. Instead, she gave him a soft smile, holding his gaze an extra few seconds before going back to the last bite of her meal.
Dessert was served and despite just arriving, Tessa noted that Eric was currently on his fourth glass of wine. To her relief, after their declaration of love, Eric said no more on the topic. He spent most of the next half an hour talking with his father and the other two parts of Falcon, Smith and McCloud, Franklin Smith and Brenda Falcon.
She was being more or less ignored by most of the family, with only the occasional question or comment here and there. Chase had been in the middle of a conversation with her, giving her some funny stories about recent tattoo clients, and she finally had a smile on her face again. Chase was also joking and laughing; whatever tension was going on between him and his brother seemed to no longer be an issue.
She’d overreacted. She’d thought the worst would happen. He’d been right, maybe all along. She spent too much time living under the cloud of guilt, when the fact of the matter was that there was nothing to be guilty for. The realization felt good. She made a mental note to thank Chase and tell him about her relationship with Eric when they were alone. It was no big deal, only a big deal because she’d made it one.
But her relief was short-lived.
“Well, you’re quite the lucky man, Chase. It’s not too often you find the love of your life.” The conversation between her and Chase immediately stopped and they both focused their attention on Eric, who was filling up yet another glass of wine.
Chase’s mood instantly darkened, his eyes narrowing as he glared at his brother. “Yeah, doesn’t happen that often. Even when you find it, there’s no guarantee that something won’t come along and fuck it up on you.”
Eric smirked. “If it’s true love then nothing should be able to fuck it up, brother.”
Chase’s body tensed as if preparing for a fight.
Tessa looked from Chase to Eric and back again, not sure what was going on between them, but instinctively knowing she needed to break it up, immediately.
“Chase, hon, I’m done, why don’t you show me more of the property? It’s a beautiful evening.”
Pushing his dessert plate away from him, he stood. “That sounds like a great idea Tessa. I think I need some fresh air anyhow.”
“Been nice catching up with you, Chase. It’s been too long,” Eric called out after them as they began to leave the dining room.
Chase didn’t reply, just kept walking.
“And Tessa,” Eric called.
She stopped; she couldn’t ignore him. He owned the
area she was renting. Closing her eyes she said a silent prayer as she slowly turned to face him, looking at him from across the room. “Yes, Eric.”
“It was nice meeting you. I have a feeling we’ll be seeing much more of each other in the future.”
No doubt, she silently confirmed. Forcing a smile to her lips, she nodded. “Nice meeting you too, Eric.”
~*~ TT ~*~
Chase
“I need to tell you something. Something I should have told you before, it’s just a sore spot for me,” Chase began as he led her toward the gazebo, not too far from the house but in a nice secluded area.
“I need to tell you something too.” She gave him a weak smile. Her body was trembling.
“Let me get this out first. If I don’t tell you now, I may never, it’s a touchy story for me. Just let me get it out.”
She looked like she was going to protest and then snapped her mouth shut and gave her head a nod, conceding.
“As I said earlier and from what I’m sure you could tell from dinner, my brother and I don’t get along. We used to, despite our parents creating competition between us.”
“Then what happened?” She stared up at him, chewing at her lower lip as she waited.
“Rachael Bergen happened.”
“Uh-huh.” She nodded as if she already knew where the story was headed. He supposed she most likely did, or figured out the premise anyhow.
“I met her in law school. We dated for a year and got engaged.”
“Oh.” She nodded again.
They reached the large white gazebo, which was dimly lit with track lighting and the centerpiece of this particular part of the gardens, and he directed her toward a bench. She sat and he sat next to her, taking her hand in his. He told himself it was to comfort her, but it was really more about comforting himself.
“We were virtually never apart. Up until that point I wasn’t much for relationships. I’ll admit before her and then after I’ve been a bit of a dog.” When she frowned he quickly added, “I’m not proud of it, it’s just a statement of fact.”
