“Well, there has to be something else I can do. Anything.”
The look that crossed her face was a mix of confusion and desperation. “I guess I could show you how to work the register. That way if a delivery comes in when we work together, I can leave you out here.”
Working with customers did not sound nearly as appealing as the task I had before, but I thought maybe learning how everything worked might be enough to distract me. At least for a little longer.
Jenny showed me the different buttons on the register, which took all of two minutes. But after that, she went through the book club the store offered to frequent shoppers. Then she showed me the computer system we used to look up books to determine whether or not we had them in stock and how to order them if we didn’t.
I even rang up a few customers before our shifts were over. I was clocking out and grabbing my purse when I saw Rainier come in. He gave me a smug look before walking over to Jenny.
They were talking and laughing as I walked out of the store. Rainier looked my way a couple of times. I didn’t bother saying goodbye to either of them, and I certainly wasn’t wondering if they were talking about me.
Or how I felt if they were.
Chapter Six
Rainier
I was practically sleepwalking at work.
Between my job, practice, and shows, I was booked solid. And not in that cutesy way how girls wore shirts with books on them that said something like My weekend is all booked. No, I was so busy I could barely think straight.
I practiced for at least a couple of hours every day on my own. Three or four times a week I played with The Band at Matt’s house. I still hated that name, but hadn’t been brave enough to mention it to anyone. Not even Matt. I worried no one would take a band with a stolen name seriously. At least not beyond River Valley. But then I would remind myself that it didn’t matter. I was only a stand-in until Cooper’s arm was better.
Work was my one place where I felt like I could have some peace. That is, when my song wasn’t haunting me. The tune had become more solid in my mind, although I still didn’t have any lyrics. Still sad, still nothing to inspire the words that would do it justice.
Tap, tap, tap.
“Rainier, you okay?” Jenny asked, breaking my concentration.
“What? Oh…yes. Just tired.”
“You look a mess. Do you want me to stay and you can leave when Michelle gets here?”
I laughed. “I must look like a corpse for you to offer.”
“She’s actually not that bad.”
“Okay, now I’m wondering if I’m hallucinating. Or I died from exhaustion, and I’m in some strange kind of purgatory, because I swear it sounded like you just said Michelle wasn’t so bad.”
Jenny didn’t respond. Instead, she bit her lip and looked at the wall. She refused to make eye contact.
“Jenny. The girl tortured you in high school. At least that’s what you’ve always said. Please tell me she didn’t secretly lobotomize you during your shift together.”
She shrugged. “She was a hard worker and shelved an entire cart of books before learning the register.”
“You didn’t lobotomize her, did you?” I cried, throwing my hands up in the air while Jenny giggled at the theatrics.
“I swear I didn’t cut into her brain. She just did what I asked her to.”
“That’s impossible. She’s impossible.”
“Who’s impossible?” a voice asked from behind me. Jenny’s laughter stopped immediately as I turned around to see Michelle standing behind me. Her skin wasn’t red anymore, and her hair was pulled back in a ponytail that made her look like she was still in high school. She looked innocent if such a thing was possible.
When neither Jenny or I responded to her question, Michelle’s eyebrows scrunched together. “Okay. I’m just going to put my stuff away, and then I’ll get to work.”
She walked to the back of the store to the employee area. It was a small room where we received deliveries and stored books until we could get them out to the shelves. Apparently, she got the memo that she should put her bag back there instead of leaving it out here on the counter.
“Look at the little worker bee,” Jenny said once Michelle was out of earshot.
“This proves nothing,” I answered, as she signed her time card.
“Maybe not. Just try not to kill each other, okay?”
“I’ll do my best,” I said, as she left.
When Michelle walked back out to the front, I got out of my chair and stood several feet away from it. I wanted her to know I was okay with our prior arrangement. I would work while she stared at gossip magazines and whatever was on her phone for several hours on end. I held my breath waiting for her reaction, not sure why I cared.
Jenny was convinced Michelle had become a new person with one decent shift together.
I touched my fingers against my thigh pretending to look down at a book while I watched her out of the corner of my eye. I watched as she got closer, and I watched as she sat down in the seat and grabbed one of the same magazines she had read the last time we worked together.
I knew she hadn’t changed. Nobody did. Not that quickly.
“So…” she mused, “it’s hot outside today. Don’t you think?”
She wanted to talk about the weather? “I guess so. I haven’t really been outside.”
“The plants look like they’re going to die,” she said, still flipping pages and keeping her eyes trained on the magazine.
“Okay?”
She sighed. “Too bad it isn’t rainier out.”
There it was. I couldn’t imagine any scenario where Michelle cared about the condition of trees and bushes in this area. She was laughing at her joke.
“Amused?” I asked.
“Oh, come on. Don’t rain on my parade.”
“Did you stay up all night coming up with that?”
“What can I say? When it rains, it pours.”
They were all jokes I’d heard before. Sometimes lighthearted, other times cruel. Things like that didn’t really bother me anymore. But for some reason, when Michelle said it, I wanted to gouge my eyes out. With her stupid smile, and the way she sat in my chair like she didn’t have a care in the world.
“That’s really funny, Michelle. So clever.” My voice lacked emotion.
The laughter stopped, and she looked up from the magazine and directly at my eyes. I expected to see a mask of indifference, but there were too many emotions in her expression to nail it down to one.
“My dad gave me a regular schedule today. We’re going to be working together a lot, and I thought I’d give civility another shot. Who knew the girl I was a jerk to in high school could be more forgiving than some homeschooled nerd who didn’t know me?”
She shut the magazine and grabbed a couple of books off the cart and disappeared.
Tap, tap, tap.
The band had another show tonight, and I couldn’t focus on Michelle and her little temper tantrum. I stayed up near the counter while she was off doing whatever it was she was doing.
I'd told myself I wouldn’t practice in front of the mirror, but I couldn’t get Owen’s remarks out of my head. He’d made a point to tell me every time he saw me how I needed to loosen up.
I hadn’t shown off my moves in practice because I didn’t want his ever watchful eyes on me when I first attempted it in front of people. With any luck, he'd be too busy making love to the microphone to notice the awkward kid behind him playing the guitar.
And if I were really fortunate, everyone else would be too busy watching him and the other guys to pay any attention to me. I was still the guy that most people only knew in passing.
I needed to find the best way to blend in because I really enjoyed playing shows. It wasn’t something I wanted to do long term. I’d be going back to school in the fall. That didn’t mean I couldn’t enjoy it while it lasted and make every effort not to get kicked out for lack of charisma.
&nbs
p; Mrs. Bristol came in and bought her weekly stack of romance books. Mercifully, I didn't see Michelle anywhere as I checked her out. I wasn’t going to start picking up historical romance, but that didn’t mean I wanted her to be embarrassed every time she came in.
I organized nearby shelves and helped customers during my shift. When I finished that, I decided I should put away books that were waiting to go out.
The books on the cart to be put away didn’t magically disappear or anything, but I did notice it was getting slightly smaller even when I wasn’t working away at it. Michelle must have been doing something. I wasn’t sure what to think about that. I knew she was an entitled brat. I knew she didn’t want to be here. What I couldn’t figure out what her angle was.
Why pretend to make an effort? Why try to impress Jenny?
The end of the shift went pretty much like it had the previous time I’d worked with her. I didn’t see her while I counted down the safe, I didn’t ask for her help with anything. Yet somehow she knew when to reappear from whatever lair she was hiding in when it was time to sign out.
“See you in a couple of days,” Michelle said, with a smile that looked like it physically pained her to make. It was a weird mix of cruelty and embarrassment.
“Yep.” I grabbed my stuff, barely paying attention.
“For what it’s worth–”
“It doesn’t matter.” I interrupted. Whatever she had to say, I didn’t care. I needed to get to Wild Bill’s pronto. “Let’s just get out of here.”
“Fine,” she said, before we walked out of the store, pulled down the gate that closed it off from the rest of the mall, and walked out of the building to our cars.
Chapter Seven
Michelle
“And who does he think he is?” I asked Avery as we pulled up to Wild Bill’s. She’d invited me to come with her to the show tonight, and after my shift with Rainier, I decided it might be what I needed.
“I don’t know, Michelle,” she said, annoyance lacing her words.
“He didn’t even make sure I made it to my car okay. What kind of guy does that? I mean, I get that he doesn’t like me and that’s just…whatever. But he wants to pretend like he’s so much better than me.”
Avery turned off the car and looked over at me. “I invited you out tonight because I think The Band puts on a good show and it’s a lot of fun.”
“And your boyfriend plays the guitar.”
“The bass,” she corrected.
“Fine, the bass–”
“But,” she interrupted. “I don’t want to listen to you complain about Rainier all night. It’s like you’re obsessed with him or something.”
“Aves, have you been listening to a word I’ve said?”
“Yeah, and literally every single one of them has revolved around that boy. Rainier this and Rainier that and I can’t believe Rainier didn’t walk me to my car. You haven’t stopped talking about him since I picked you up.”
“Because he’s a jerk,” I reminded her.
“So I’ve heard,” she said under her breath, as we got out of the car. She started walking toward the bar before stopping and turning toward me. “You haven’t even asked me about my trip to Mexico, which was awesome by the way. You don’t seem excited to hear my boyfriend’s band, even though I’ve been begging you to come to a show for what feels like forever. The last time you came was the first time they played. You are acting like typical Michelle, and I’m asking you, for just one night, can you please let this be about someone else?”
Whoa. Avery and I had our share of disagreements and fights, but I didn’t think I’d ever seen her like this. She was angry, every part of her body was strung tight, from the stern expression on her face to the way she stood firmly planted on both feet.
Normally I would tell her exactly where she could shove that attitude, but not tonight. First, because I could see she felt strongly about it. We were best friends, and maybe it was time for me to be a little supportive. But second, and probably the biggest reason, she’d driven tonight. I was not getting stranded in this hell-hole, and I was not going to walk around from person to person looking for a different ride home.
Not happening.
“You’re right,” I conceded. “I can’t wait to hear The Band and watch Carter play the bass.”
There. I said it.
Avery’s face softened, and her body relaxed. “Thanks, Michelle. I know this isn’t your thing, but I like Carter. I want to be supportive. Plus, they are so good. You might end up having a good time.”
Somehow I doubted that, but I followed her into Wild Bill’s. We had to show our ID’s and then got the ugliest effing wristbands and X’s on our hands that told everyone we were jailbait. Well, not exactly jailbait at nineteen, but I still hated being underage in a bar. Even with it being teen night, I felt like a complete impostor.
“Oh, look,” Avery yelled from beside me. “They’re already on stage. Come on.” And with that, she was grabbing my hand and pulling me to the front of the stage.
Owen Jacobs walked up to the microphone at that exact moment to introduce the band. He looked disgusting with his greasy hair and tight jeans that showed off his skinny stick-legs. He wore a sleazy smile as he introduced The Band. Were they ever going to come up with a real name? The first time Avery told me the name, I thought she was kidding or didn’t understand my question. It turned out the guys were too lazy to come up with anything.
“Good evening,” he said into the microphone with a tilt of his head. Wait, was he speaking with a British accent? “We’re the Band.” Holy crap, he was speaking with an accent. I laughed even though no one could hear me. This was River Valley, not some big city where people didn’t know him. I went to high school with the guy. Granted, he was a couple of years older than me. Did he really think he could just change his voice and people wouldn’t notice?
A quick glance over at the other girls who were close to the stage made me see that apparently, he could change his accent and no, people didn’t seem to notice or care. Three girls in homemade The Band shirts screamed while they jumped up and down.
Again, this was River Valley. Population 5,000? Maybe less. There was absolutely no reason to get this worked up over a band. I rolled my eyes at Avery who gave me a pleading look in return.
“I’m going to get a soda,” I yelled over the music that had just begun.
Avery gave me another look, but didn’t argue as I walked away. I could still hear the music from the bar area. What did it matter if I was standing so close to the stage I could see every bit of Owen’s pit stains?
I sat down at the bar, which was mostly empty, and got my drink. Not bothering to look up, I listened to the music while I scrolled on my phone. Nothing exciting. A few people posted about being here and watching the show. I wanted to respond with Yeah, I see you in the crowd of 50, but resisted for Avery’s sake.
When I finally did look up to check in with Avery, I saw her dancing to the songs like the perfect groupie girlfriend. Her gaze never leaving the stage. Carter played enthusiastically, his head bent down as he did a weird dance back and forth on his feet that looked hardcore swaying.
I looked over at the other guitarist who looked much more uncomfortable in his skin. His movements were jerky, and a baseball cap obscured my view of his face. Who was that guy? I thought Cooper played the guitar in this group but remembered he’d broken his arm. Why hadn’t I asked Avery about it?
Oh, yeah, I was too busy with my obsession with Rainier, whatever that meant. Just then the guitarist looked up from his instrument.
You had to be kidding me.
Of course, it would be Rainier. I was stuck in one of the circles of hell if only I could remember which one was which. All I knew was I couldn’t get away from him. It was infuriating. His eyes quickly scanned the crowd before they met mine.
It was obvious he felt the same frustrations as me because even from this distance, I could see his eyes as they narrowed. I watched a
s his entire body stiffened as soon as he saw me.
Avery had the whole trip over to tell me he was playing in The Band. She listened to me go on and on about how much he made me crazy and didn’t say a word about him being here tonight.
I slammed my cup down on the counter sending drops of soda flying before I stormed out of the bar. Thanks to the loudspeakers, I could still hear the music in the parking lot, but it was still better than seeing his stupid face.
I didn’t wander far from the front door. It might be teen night, and this might be River Valley, but I had no delusions about being a young woman wandering around the dark parking lot of a bar. From where I stood, I could still see inside the building, and the bouncer checking ID’s could see me.
He wasn’t the biggest guy I’d ever seen, but I felt safe knowing at least someone would be near if something were to happen. I leaned up against the wall and listened to song after song. Most were familiar, and if I wasn't so angry, I might even sing along. Not tonight. Tonight I was too mad. I wondered if I’d ever be able to hear them again without thinking of Rainier.
“Hey, Michelle,” a voice said from beside me, and I looked up. I hadn’t noticed Jenny walk over to me. She was dressed in a short dress with flowers on it and wore her hair down and curly. I didn’t think I’d ever seen her look so pretty.
“Hey,” I said, with a slight smile. We weren’t exactly friends, but we weren’t enemies either. Or at least, I didn’t think we were. She’d been nice to me since our shift together. Maybe we’d found a truce between the two of us?
“Too loud?” she asked.
“Something like that.”
“Have they been playing long? I had some things I needed to do at home, but got here as quickly as I could.”
“Not really. I bet you’d still get to see a lot if you went in.”
She hesitated for the briefest moment, almost like she wanted to say something, but settled on a quick goodbye before she walked over to the guy standing at the door of Wild Bill’s. She pulled out her ID, was given the same underage treatment that most people here had tonight, and went inside.
All The Things We Were Page 4
