“You mean, I was like that?”
“Absolutely. You were just as clever and just as manipulative, but don’t worry, he’ll grow out of it if you stick to your guns. He’s a great little kid,” Jake said. “I wish he was with me all the time. Now that we have a minute to ourselves, son, what about that lovely woman I saw you with on TV a few weeks back? She was enchanted with you. What happened?”
He wouldn’t mislead his granddad, so he told him the truth and added, “She means a lot to me, but the relationship just steamrolled to the point that I didn’t know whether I was doing the right thing or letting my emotions do my thinking. I backed off.”
“How does she feel about your taking a leave of absence from the relationship? Most women wouldn’t care for that.”
“So far, she’s leaving it up to me. I’m learning that she knows the value of self-discipline.”
“The two of you should make an interesting pair. Another word for self-discipline is stubbornness, and you have your share of that. I wish you well, but I don’t mind telling you I’m disappointed that you didn’t bring her with you this weekend. How do she and Teddy get along?”
Ashton cleared his throat. “Uh, they haven’t met.”
“You haven’t…Would you mind telling me why?”
“I’ve never taken a woman to my home because I don’t want Teddy to think it’s all right for a man to have a stream of women flowing in and out of his life. Most of all, I don’t want him to become attached to a woman only to lose her if she and I break up. If I’m ever certain, I’ll take that woman home to meet my son.”
Jake nodded his head very slowly, obviously contemplating his grandson’s words. “I can’t argue with that, son. A child needs stability. But from what I saw on that TV show and what you’ve told me about her, that woman is exceptional. She likes you a lot, and she likes you for yourself.”
“I know that, Granddad. But I have to move according to my vision.”
“And you’re right. Do you want us to keep the riding school?”
“Yes, sir, but if we repair and replace the tack as needed, we may not need to expand. With so much stable gear unusable, that may be the root of our problem.”
The four men spent the evening and the following day examining the equipment, placing orders and repairing tack. “This is why you couldn’t register all the people who wanted to attend,” Cade said. “I want the pleasure of firing a couple of the grooms.”
“No. No,” Jake said. “They just need closer supervision. Never expect anybody to take care of your business the way you would. I’ve told you that from the time you were knee high to a duck.”
“I’ll be back in a couple of weeks, at least for about a month, Granddad,” Damon said, “and we’ll get it straightened out. The new tack we’re ordering should be here by then, and maybe we need to hire a man just to take care of all that equipment. It’s hot, and I need a swim. Want to swim with Uncle Damon, Teddy?”
“Yes, sir, Uncle Damon. Can I have some ice cream first? Or maybe some lemonade. Daddy said it’s hot outside. And can Granddad swim with us?”
“Of course he can, if he wants to. Suppose you wait till after you swim before you drink lemonade.”
How good it would be if they all lived closer together, Ashton thought. Teddy would thrive among his uncles and with his great-grandfather. But he knew it wouldn’t come to pass soon. When Teddy started school, Ashton wanted him to attend a private school in New York.
He went to his old room and fell across the bed. The contentment that he always experienced in his grandfather’s home and in his presence eluded him. Why hadn’t she called? He reached across the bed for the cell phone that lay on the nightstand and dialed Felicia’s home phone number.
“This is Ashton, and I’m at my granddad’s home in Maryland. Why didn’t you return my call?”
“Because I didn’t get home until two-thirty, and I didn’t think you wanted me to wake you up just to say hello.”
“I see. You must have been having a great time.”
“I got an interview with Dorothea Epps, the promoter, and with the director, and that meant staying until after the end of the program. What did you want to say to me?”
He couldn’t answer that question truthfully. “I wanted to remind you that I’d be down here this weekend and…and to tell you that you looked…well wonderful that night.”
“Thank you. I…How nice of you! Is your grandfather well?”
“He is, and he asked me why I didn’t bring you with me. He saw the TV’s broadcast of the Sterling gala.”
“I’m curious as to what you told him.”
“I always tell my grandfather the truth. Always. Will you have dinner with me one day next week? Name a day that’s convenient for you.”
“Ashton, you seem to be assuming that I’m always busy in the evenings. I am not. If you want us to have dinner together, invite me for a specific day and time, and I’ll be happy to join you unless I have a previous engagement scheduled. Okay?”
It wasn’t okay at all. He’d put it that way so that she couldn’t refuse, giving a previous engagement as an excuse. However, she had skillfully backed him into a corner, and wasn’t that his fault? His decision to put some distance between them had made their relationship more formal and much less intimate. He didn’t like it.
“Will you have dinner with me Monday evening?” It surprised him when he realized that he held his breath.
“I’d love to, Ashton, but I’m lecturing at the University of Connecticut Monday, and I’ll get home late.”
Precisely what he sought to avoid. “Let’s leave it this way. I’ll call you early in the week, and we’ll work something out.” If she wanted to see him, it would happen; if she didn’t, then what?
Chapter 5
The last person Felicia expected to see at a political rally in a Harlem church was Ashton Underwood. She’d worked as a reporter for over ten years and had never seen Ashton until he came to the Willard Hotel to escort her to the Sterling gala. But suddenly, he had a reason to attend every function that she covered. Dressed in a manner befitting his status and position, he held a cup of coffee in his left hand and gestured with his right one as he spoke animatedly with the pastor of the church and an older woman who seemed captivated by Ashton’s charisma. This time, she didn’t wait for his move, but walked up to the group and spoke directly to Ashton.
“Hello, Ashton. I hope I’m not intruding, but I’d like to speak with you when you’re free. Good evening, Reverend, Mrs. Holt.” She smiled at the three of them, turned and looked around for someone who might be of interest to her readers, someone who wasn’t always in the news. She didn’t get far before she felt his touch lightly on her arm.
“You wanted to talk with me?” he asked her.
The man looked good enough to eat, and he stood there asking her in so many words what she wanted. She laid her head to one side and looked him in the eye. “What I want, Ashton, is for you to stop toying with me. If you don’t, we’re not going to see much of each other. Every place I go, you’re there. I’ve been on this circuit for the past ten years, and I never saw you. Not once. And believe me, if I had seen you once, I definitely would not have forgotten it. So what’s this all about?”
She didn’t think Ashton would answer candidly, for he had told her that he disliked showing his hand when he wasn’t ready, and she figured he wasn’t ready. “I consider it my good fortune whenever I see you, Felicia. You were busy last night, tonight and tomorrow night. Surely you don’t begrudge me the pleasure of seeing you for a few minutes, even at a distance.” His lips curved into a half smile, and she could see that he was laughing at himself. At such times, she could hardly resist holding him and spreading kisses all over him.
“Ashton, your devilish streak will get you into trouble one of these days.”
His grin broadened, and his eyes sparkled with delight. “I don’t doubt it for a minute,” he said, “but when I get into trouble,
I make sure I enjoy it.”
She thought she might wilt beneath the heat of his gaze. “You’re offering an invitation to pure madness,” she said, hating the quiver in her voice, “and I knew it the first time I looked at you.”
“Madness? I wouldn’t say that. Ecstasy is more like it. What time do you think you’ll finish work tonight?” he asked her.
“Can we meet at the front door in about an hour? I should have what I need by then.”
An hour later with a tape of her conversation with three political candidates in her handbag, she rushed upstairs, raced through the vestibule and sailed into Ashton on his way to keeping their rendezvous.
In a flash, his arms brought her body close to his, and once more her heart beat with his. With a forefinger, he tipped up her chin and stared into her eyes. “You could never guess how much I want you this minute.” Then, as if he’d gone too far and knew it, he released her, took her hand and they left the building. “Starvation isn’t good for a man. It can make him do or say things he regrets.”
“What did you do or say that you regret?” she asked him. “I haven’t noticed that you did or said anything offensive. Did you break one of your rules? Or were you more candid than you thought wise? Ashton, I know you want me. I take my cues from your behavior, from what I see, not merely from your words. Where are we going?”
“Have you eaten dinner?”
“I had a piece of cheese and some coffee at the rally, and I could use some real food. We could go to the Brasserie or some place like that. Service is fast.”
“All right, if that suits you.”
“You sound as if it’s ordinary,” she said. “The food’s pretty good.”
“It’s okay, Felicia, but it isn’t the place I’d take a date.”
“You can take me to one of those places some other time, but right now, I’m too hungry to wait while a maître d’ shows off, then a sommelier gives his ego a workout and all the while the waiter hasn’t showed up with a menu. Then, of course, the chef and his assistants have to impress you with their cleverness by making you wait an hour for what you ordered. It’s fun when I’m prepared for it, but tonight, my tummy would be happy with a hot dog if it arrived quickly.”
He opened the front passenger door of his Town Car for her and waited while she seated herself. “Did I remember to tell you that you’re precious? An earthy woman with your other attributes is a delight.”
“No, you didn’t,” she said, with not a little satisfaction. “You haven’t said anything nice to me lately. How was your weekend with your family?”
“Great. We hadn’t been together for a while, and I realized how much I missed being with them. Teddy revels in the attention he gets from Granddad and his uncles.”
“Of course he does. Children can’t get enough love. They need it, but it should be tough love.”
“Believe me, it is. He gets enough pampering from my housekeeper. He’s not yet five, but he knows how to wind her around his finger.”
The chance to ask Ashton a question that plagued her may not come again soon, so she seized the opportunity. “How has he responded to your lady friends?” She made it past tense, because she didn’t want him to think she was trying to find out whether he had a woman friend to whom he was closer than he was to her.
He aligned the Town Car with the curb about a block from the Brasserie, cut the motor and turned to her. “Felicia, in response to your question, my son hasn’t met any lady friend of mine, as you put it. Furthermore, since my divorce, you’ve been in my house as often as any woman other than my housekeeper. Does that answer your question?” Relief flooded her, and she knew why. The contours of her face betrayed her, and a smile lit up her features.
“I see that that pleases you,” he said.
Remembering her pledge to herself that she would always level with him, she said, “I’m human. Of course it pleases me.”
“Do you want to be more important to me than any other woman?”
“I’ll answer that when you give me more encouragement than I’ve had from you during the past fortnight. And, Ashton, you don’t encourage me by being noncommittal or by staying away from me. An independent, competent woman needs warm loving as much as any other woman needs it.” She reached over and stroked his cheek. “Don’t forget that.”
He hadn’t expected either her remark or her gesture, and with eyebrows raised, he stroked his chin, obviously taken aback. “You shoot for the bull’s-eye. I won’t forget that.” He walked around the car to open the door for her. She stepped out and stood facing him, almost touching his body.
“Don’t deal me an ace and think I won’t play it,” she told him, easing aside the lapel of his jacket and letting her fingers trace the stripe in his dress shirt. “This isn’t a game for me, so please don’t treat it as one, loving me one week, and the next showing me how easy it is to ignore me. If you do, I’ll be as gone as gone can get.”
“You pick a fine time to talk to me this way,” he told her, took her hand and headed for the restaurant. They sat in a corner at a small table on which sat one lighted candle and a few sprigs of tiny purple orchids. He stroked the back of her hand. “I take it you aren’t challenging me. Are you?”
“No, I’m not. I want you to know what this relationship is like from my point of view. I’m not afraid of pain, Ashton, so I know I can walk away from what I want if I believe it’s not good for me. And I see that you can and will do the same. So if that’s the case…I mean, if you want me, but think I’m not good for you, tell me now. I promise not to shed a tear.” At least not where you can see me do it, she thought.
“Do you feel so little for me?” he asked.
“Think over what I said, Ashton. I didn’t even hint as to the quality or depth of my feelings for you.”
After that remark, they ate in silence. Both refused dessert, and as they left the restaurant, he asked her, “Do you think our coming here tonight was a good idea?”
She took his hand. “Any opportunity that you and I have to understand each other better is a good and useful thing.”
“Do you understand me better?”
She shook her head. “Not really, but you understand me better.”
He parked in front of the building where she lived, walked around to open the door for her and this time she let him do it.
“May I see you to your apartment?” he asked her.
“Yes,” was all she said.
Ashton figured that by backing away from Felicia in order to view their relationship from a distance and to gain some perspective on it, he’d loss some ground with her. But he was damned if he’d be dragged headlong into marriage by his emotions and the demands of his penis. He’d taken a breather, but it had merited him nothing; he wanted her more than ever.
How could he tell her that meeting her at fund-raisers and social functions had not been accidental—that he would phone her paper, ask her editor’s secretary whether the paper would cover the event and take it from there. He needed to see her even as he let her think otherwise. Her fingers shook as she tried to unlock the door of her apartment, but he pretended not to notice and waited until she managed to open the door. Then, he closed it with his right elbow and brought her into his arms so suddenly that the contact with her nearly took his breath away.
“I’ve missed you every second since the last time I had you in my arms. It was no accident that you saw me so often. I arranged it, because…oh, Felicia—”
Her mouth moved beneath his, warm, sweet and giving, and he thought he’d go insane with love and with the pangs of desire. She stepped back from him and gazed into his eyes with such innocence that he hugged her back into his embrace.
“I’m feeling so much for you right now,” he said. “It’s overwhelming. Tell me it isn’t one-sided.”
“You know it isn’t. But I won’t let you love me like this, promising me the world, and after thinking about it decide that we’re moving too fast, so you’ll pull back—se
ll some shares as it were, the way big shots manipulate the stock market—and lower the value. Don’t do that to me, Ashton.”
“Sweetheart, can’t you feel what’s inside of me?”
He had her tight in his arms, where she wanted to be, needed to be. She wrapped her arms around him and let herself relax. Somewhere in the inner chambers of her heart, he lurked, and she knew at that moment that he would always be there.
She had to get something straight. “Have you accepted what you feel for me, or are you still worried about us? Why are you reticent?”
“You’re known to half of the eight million New Yorkers and many people beyond, why should you settle for me?”
She moved out of his arms then, stepped back and looked into his eyes, eyes that weakened her knees. “Isn’t the real question, why would you settle for me?”
“Are you out of your mind?” he asked, scowling. “Woman, I’m in love with you!”
She’d never expected to hear those words from him or from any man, and she cherished them. But in spite of the joy and excitement she felt, she had to stay focused on reality. “And you haven’t been happy about it, either,” she said. “I know you have to consider the interests of your son, and that is admirable, but be aware that your charm is like a magnet, and use it sparingly, especially if you don’t want to get involved. What are you laughing at?”
“Us. Something tells me we could be at a standoff fifty years from now. There’s a cure for it, sweetheart, and we both know what it is. This bantering is a substitute for a deeper, more intimate involvement. You’re always candid. Am I right?”
“Even if you’re right, we’re too adult to settle things that way.”
His tongue poked his right cheek. “Really? How old do you think I am, for Pete’s sake? Let me tell you I can’t imagine being that adult.”
His eyes sparkled with mischief, and a grin sweetened the contours of his lips until she began to imagine what it would be like to have him locked inside of her body driving her mad with the power of his loins.
He swallowed so hard that she heard it. “Felicia! You’re the one dealing aces now. Come here to me.”
Just the Man She Needs Page 10
