by Jodi Payne
“Well, I guess I’m trying to imagine how you get semen into a straw…and I have a really bad imagination.” He bit his lip to keep from laughing, but it only kind of worked.
“Believe it or not, I have artificial vaginas and a set of cowboys whose entire jobs are to get the bull’s cock into the AV. That flows into a vial and then it’s tested and frozen in glass straws.” Did Matthew just say all that with a straight face?
“I am not drunk enough for this conversation.” Not even close. He tried to picture that whole operation in his head. “Artificial vaginas. I’ve heard some stories but that’s…wow.” He looked at Matthew seriously. “I mean, I’m not making fun I just…said like that it sounds so absurd.” And it was hard to believe that made Matthew swimming pool type money.
“Right? I grew up doing it—not at the level I am now. I lucked out, bred a couple of amazing buckers and three or four big show bulls, but it’s a going operation. Hell, I just had to fire this one son of a bitch for trying to steal bull spunk. No shit.”
“That’s cool. Totally out of my range of experience, but very cool.”
“Yes, well, I am on my sixth year of coming up, and I only learned how to use the subway last year.”
Tyler laughed. “Oh, the subway is probably way scarier than a bull.”
“Absolutely. You got to remember, my closest town has ninety folks in it.”
“God, that sounds nice. Quiet. It’s…not quiet here.” Tyler was tired. He didn’t sleep much, but that had nothing to do with the noise.
“No. No, it’s not. It’s neat, but quiet? No.” Matthew sounded like he knew, like he understood somehow, but how could he? “Are you from here?”
He nodded. “Yeah. I was born here. Went to city schools. I was taking the subway to school with my friends by third grade. I had a lot more than ninety people around me.”
“That’s fascinating. Do you like it?” No one looked at him like that, like he was fascinating.
Did he like it? It was home, it was all he knew. He’d never thought about whether he liked it. “I guess?” There was nothing fascinating about trying to make a living in New York.
“I swore when I headed to Austin for my degree that I was moving away, but that didn’t happen. By the time I graduated, I was building the house on the weekends and aching to get home.”
Tourists thought it had to be cool to live in the city. “I really don’t know where else I’d go. I don’t have any reason to move. I’ve never really been anywhere.” Not anywhere he’d live. He used to do a winter vacation somewhere warm with friends before—he hadn’t gone this past winter.
“I get that. I mean, I like to go. I run down to the beach a couple times a year, out to Angel Fire to ski, here, but I’m always ready to go home.”
He shrugged, uncomfortable with the conversation, and took a beer order from a couple of newcomers. “I guess I’d have to get away for a while to figure out if I’d miss it. Excuse me a second?”
He made his way down the bar to pull the two beers and put in an order for nachos.
Matthew nursed his Dr Pepper, eyes on his phone, the light casting amazing shadows on the strong features.
“Flirting with the cowboy?” Peter got him with an elbow.
“No. He’s freaking me out a little actually, the way he looks at me…like he knows me. Nice guy though. Kind, Friendly.”
Peter nodded. “Ah. But you’re not interested.”
“Shut up.” Did it matter? The guy was from Texas.
“Okay. Okay, sure. You want me to wait on him? I will, tell him you’re busy.”
“No. No, did I say that? I got it.” He picked up the beers. “Yell if you need help.”
He could almost hear Peter shaking his head behind him.
Tyler handed off the beers and took a card for a tab from the new guys, then stepped back over to Matthew. “You need a refill?”
“Please, thank you.” Matthew met his eyes, smiled, but he thought the look was a little sad. “I didn’t mean to disturb you. My apologies.”
He held Matthew’s eyes for a second. That wasn’t fair; the cowboy wasn’t being anything but nice. “It’s not…it’s just been a while since I had a real conversation with anyone. So…maybe I needed a little disturbing. I like talking to you, you’ve been—You’re very warm. And I’m kind of in a cold place.”
Jesus. Maybe he needed that therapist Les offered him after all.
“Well, I’m enjoying chatting with you. I like to talk—I’m sure you’ve noticed, so if you want to conversate, I’m willing.”
Conversate.
“I’m in. Let me get you that refill. Oh…on the Cuervo, the Dr Pepper, or both?”
“Just the Dr Pepper. I don’t need to be liquored up to chat with you.”
Damn, if he did want to flirt, this would be the guy to do it with. Matthew was saying all the right things.
Oh. Oh shit, was Matthew flirting? Saying all the right things was flirting, right? Oh. Shit.
He grabbed another can of Dr Pepper and a new glass of ice and poured out the can into the glass. “How long are you in town? Is the convention all weekend?” He’d never heard of Book-thing. World? Expo? Something.
“I am. I’m here until Tuesday. The Expo is over Saturday, but I like a day to explore and a day to just chill out.”
“Nice. What have you planned to see?” Because he was an excellent tour guide. Not that he had any time off. Well, he was technically off Monday, but he usually came in to help with inventory.
“I haven’t! Like I said, up until last year? I just stayed close, took the Expo transportation. Then I decided to be brave. I picked a hotel that looked amazing and fun. There was an advertisement in the lobby for this place.” Matthew’s eyes lit up. “So I’ve got the Expo tomorrow to get some books, then I’m golden. Would it be creepy if I came back in to talk to you again? Maybe invite you to a meal?”
“Creepy? No. Everybody’s gotta eat, right?” He smiled despite shocking himself by so easily agreeing to a…to a what? A meal? A date? Brunch or something. “That sounds great.”
“Excellent. You let me know when is good for you, and I’ll be there with bells on.”
“Well, I’m on shift here at four tomorrow and Sunday, and I’m off on Monday.”
Whoa.
He just handed out his schedule.
How long had it been? He barely remembered the part of him that was interested in anything at all much less…whatever this was. He felt like he should be more freaked out than he was.
“How about noon tomorrow? We could have a lazy lunch before you work?”
He nodded before he could chicken out. “Sure. Just tell me…oh, or maybe I should tell you where.” Tyler laughed.
“I’ll meet you wherever. Let me give you my number, and you can text me.” Matthew chuckled softly, the sound sliding over his nerves and soothing them. “And we can both try to figure out whether we’re brave or a little crazy.”
“It’s lunch.” They didn’t have to be brave or crazy to have lunch. He put Matthew’s digits into his phone, and then texted the number so Matthew had his. It was just lunch.
“It is. No stress, no strings.” Matthew took a long swig of his drink. “I appreciate you letting me visit with you, man. I spend all day talking to someone—kids, cowboys, family. I was beginning to worry that people were going to think I was a nutjob, muttering to myself.”
“Oh, no. That’s totally common here. I bet you wouldn’t even get a second look. Someone might hand you a sandwich though.” Tyler laughed. That sounded like Matthew was heading out. He reached for the card Matthew had given him, handed it back, and tore up the bill. “I’m really sorry about your hand.”
“Oh, wow. Are you sure, honey? I’ll pay for my drinks.” Matthew stood, and it happened again. It was like Matthew filled the space.
This time, though, he managed a breath and stuck his hand out first. “The least I can do is buy your drinks. It was nice to meet you.”
>
Matthew took his hand, and he swore electricity shot up his arm. “It was my pleasure. You let me know where to meet you tomorrow, okay?”
“I…yeah.” He smiled, bewildered. “Yes. I’ll text you. Take care of that hand.”
“I will.” Matthew stroked his wrist before letting him go to put two twenties in the tip jar. “Y’all have a good one.”
Tyler watched Matthew go, eyes following until the door closed behind him. Then he looked down and ran his fingers over that spot on his wrist. He didn’t know what he was doing, and he didn’t know why either. But something in him that had been sleeping seemed to be waking up.
There was just something strange and wondrous about that cowboy.
2
“I know, Jonas. I know. It’s just lunch. I’m allowed to have lunch with a nice young man.”
“Uh-huh. Matty, you have to be careful. You’re vulnerable. You trust people. That’s why you don’t get to run the corporation.” His brother—older by fifteen months, dammit—was a shark. Him? He just wanted to be a cowboy.
Matthew grunted noncommittally. Whatever. He was still going.
“Are you listening to me, Bubba?”
“Yes, sir.” Nope. Not even a bit.
There had been something about Tyler that called to him. Something quiet and sad. Something that needed care and touch and a little peace. He wasn’t looking for a love affair, but he could be a friend, couldn’t he?
“Matthew Efraim Whitehead!”
He looked out the window of the Uber car. “There’s sure lots of traffic out here.”
“Dammit, Matty. Have you ever had a one-nighter? Everything is all or nothing with you. Don’t take this joker back to your hotel. You hear me?”
“It’s not like that! I’m not…it’s lunch!” And there was something special about Tyler. Something dear.
“Fine. Lunch. Keep it at that. Have you talked to Momma? She told me Emma lost a tooth this morning.”
“What? No! When? Goddammit! I have to let you go. Love you. Bye.” He hated missing things. Hated it. But this was…well, it was important. He’d told Momma not to let anyone do anything cool!
At least he could count on the Tooth Fairy showing up. Momma had done that a couple three times. He and Jonas had practically made losing teeth a competition.
He dialed Momma’s phone, tapping his toes until she answered. “What happened? She lost a tooth? Anything else? Lord, I’m gone a handful of days, and my girls grow up on me.”
“Oh, I’m fine, thank you for asking.” He could almost hear Momma rolling her eyes. “A phone conversation usually begins with a polite ‘hello’, son.”
“Hello, son. Your daughter lost a tooth and I immediately called you.” Evil, wonderful old woman.
“Oh, you’re a smart one, aren’t you? You get that from me.” Momma laughed, the sound light and happy. “She bit into a waffle this morning and it got stuck and she swallowed it. Not to worry, she was so tickled she giggled all morning over it. You remember when Soph did the same thing and she was in hysterical tears all day?”
“God, yes. That damn hot dog. I thought she’d never stop sighing and sobbing. I swear to God, Momma, I had nightmares of her sorting through her own poo to make sure it didn’t get stuck.”
“Oh, you did not.” Momma snorted. “She’s sound asleep, and the Tooth Fairy has come and gone, or I’d let you say hello. You’ll call her in the morning, all right? I’ll tell her.”
“You mean she didn’t finagle you into staying up late-late? I’m shocked.” He shook his head and grinned. “I got y’all a ton of books. I mailed eighteen boxes home.”
“She and her sister swam all day long and wore themselves out. She tried, but she climbed up into Papaw’s lap after dinner and laid her little head on his shoulder and that was all she wrote. Eighteen boxes? I guess I have my work cut out for me this summer.”
“Yes, ma’am. I met a guy, Momma. A bartender. We’re going to lunch together.”
“Well, you enjoy your lunch, son. But you don’t need to bring home a Yankee, I told you Annabelle has a nice young man to introduce you to. And he doesn’t work behind a bar.”
“Momma! I’m not looking for a lover. Just a friend.”
“You don’t have enough friends?”
He rubbed his forehead. “Momma…”
“You don’t tell your mother that you ‘met a guy’ if he’s not someone you think might become more than a friend. I wasn’t born yesterday, son, and I do know men.”
“Yes, ma’am. I got to go. I love you. Kiss the babies for me.” Everyone was always so damn worried.
He wasn’t worried. Tyler was interesting, dear, and Matthew wanted to wrap him in cotton and keep him safe.
Was that weird? It was probably weird.
“Be safe and don’t forget to call Emma in the morning. I love you.”
“I love you. Night, Momma.” They pulled up to the hotel, and he thanked the driver and headed in. Lord have mercy, he was… So he met a guy. So he liked him. So what?
He wasn’t a horndog. Or a freak. He just…could tell when things felt good.
His phone rang, his sister’s face popping up. “Hey, Rache.”
Goddamn. Who’d called her—Jonas or Momma?
“Hey, baby brother. You sound happy. How’s New York? Meet anyone wonderful? If you did, I know nothing about it.”
“Who didn’t tell you?” He cracked up, heading upstairs and letting himself in his room. “How are my gorgeous nephews?”
“Jonas called, of course. Your self-appointed moral compass.” Rachel laughed. “Elias is fine. He got his straight As, and he’s fixin’ to start his summer job. But don’t get me started on Noah.” She sighed. “All he cares about is his car and his girlfriend.” They were both good boys, they were just as different as he and Jonas were.
“God, has Alan given him the condom talk yet? You’re too young for grandbabies.” He was going to tie his girls’ knees together and just shoot any boys that came around for…forty years, at least.
“It probably went, ‘Don’t make me kick your ass’. You keep those girls on the ranch. Teenage boys are no joke.” Rachel sounded so much like Momma. “Tell me about New York.”
“It’s big, busy, loud. I found a little local-ish bar. I found tons of books.” I found me a pretty little bartender that needs a hug. Christ on a cracker, he was a dork.
“Elias seemed excited about whatever he asked you to find him. And the local bar has a particularly interesting bartender, I hear?”
“We’re going for lunch tomorrow. He’s just—he seemed like he could use a friend, Sister. Someone to talk to.”
“You could use a friend too, Matty. I don’t know if you need one in New York, but if someone put him in your way, I’m sure there’s a reason. You understand what Jonas is worried about, right?”
“Yes, ma’am.” They always worried about the money thing, both of them. They worried about the fact that he didn’t worry about it. To them, Matthew was still the baby. He guessed he always would be.
“Okay, then.” Having done her job, Rachel’s tone changed completely. “Is he hot? When is lunch? Will you call me after?”
“Noon, and of course I’ll call. He’s pretty, and I want to wrap him up and hold him, and that’s weird, right? I’m weird?” It didn’t feel weird. It felt as easy as pie and right.
“No, honey. That’s what you do. You take care of people. That’s why your girls are the luckiest girls in the world.”
“Did you hear that Emma lost a tooth, and Momma didn’t even call?” He was still a little horrified.
“I knew she lost a tooth. I didn’t know that you didn’t know. Maybe Momma thought calling you would just make Em miss you. I heard they’ve been in the pool nonstop since you left.”
“Yeah, I’ve already got a phone call in with Jeremy. He’s going to start digging next week.” His girls could spend all the rest of the summer and most of the fall in the water, spending ener
gy. “Did I tell you we got six more calves today? Ben and Little Tim sent video.”
“My goodness, Matty. You’re still the baby whisperer.” Rachel had been calling him that, teasing him ever since he got Deb pregnant with Sophia.
“Always.” He liked being on the ranch, growing beans and raising cattle and running horses. He was happy there.
“All right, I have to report back to Jonas that you’re a responsible adult. I love you, baby brother. You be good in big, bad New York.”
“I promise. Love you, Sister.” He hung up and stripped down to his skivvies, then ordered himself another Coke and a burger and fries.
He couldn’t wait for tomorrow—books, lunch, a new friend. It sounded like magic. All it was missing was his babies.
3
Jesus, Matthew was tired. He’d got himself up and dressed, bought a copy of every book on earth, and then headed to an address that meant as much to him as if it was on the moon.
Good thing he was smart and had a phone and the ability to google.
He ended up at a corner, not sure where he was, but he was early, dressed like a gentleman, and not at all stressed about being somewhere new, because this was his idea. Dammit.
It was an absolutely beautiful day, sunny with a little breeze, and he watched all kinds of people walk by—all ages, some with dogs, even one or two with kids in strollers. It was definitely a busy city block, but the street had trees lining it, and it had a quiet neighborhood feel.
He squinted down the block, pretty sure his lunch date was headed his way. Blue jeans, T-shirt, and much the same Tyler he’d met last night, only with sunglasses and without the bar towels.
There was no question that he stuck out, with his hat and his button-down, but Matthew reckoned that was good.
Tyler waved when he was still too far away to say hello, but his smile was bright enough to see from blocks away. The light turned and Tyler was stuck on the other side of the intersection as the cars rushed by, and he stuffed his hands in his pockets while he waited, everything about the man looking just like he belonged here.
