by Anne Fraser
She gave their location to the ambulance controller and a brief description of the injury. When she disconnected, Logan had finished examining the fallen man and was looking worried.
‘He’s got a tension pneumothorax,’ he said tightly, whipping off his jacket to cover the man. ‘I’m going to have to do something, and quick. We can’t wait for the ambulance.’
Georgie’s heart kicked against her ribs. Although they had practised for this type of scenario, she had never imagined they would have to do it. Alone. In the street. And with what?
‘I’m going to fetch my bag from the flat,’ Logan said. ‘I need you to stay with him while I go and get it. Concentrate on keeping him breathing. Can you do that?’
Don’t leave me here, Georgie wanted to shout. But she realised Logan was right. He would be much faster than her getting back to his apartment and he knew where the bag was. She nodded. And then Logan was running.
Minutes ticked by slowly. Where the hell was the ambulance? She checked her patient’s breathing. It was shallow and rapid and he was becoming cyanosed. He could die at any time unless something was done to help him breathe.
‘Not while I have anything to do with it,’ she muttered, knowing no one could hear her. The back lane was quiet and remained deserted. Georgie could hear the swish of tyres on tarmac a few metres away, but it might have been hundreds of metres for all the use it could do them.
She staunched the bleeding chest wound with one hand while she kept her fingers on his carotid pulse and her eyes on his chest. If he arrested, she would have to perform CPR long enough for the ambulance to arrive or Logan to return. It was what the last weeks of training had been all about. Keeping the patient alive long enough to get them to hospital.
Just as she thought she could no longer feel a pulse, Logan returned. As she raised her eyes from the victim she heard the siren of an ambulance speeding towards them. Logan must have heard it, but took no notice. Taking a large-size IV cannula, he plunged it into the man’s chest close to the stab wound but away from the heart. There was an immediate whoosh of air as the tense air pocket was released. Almost miraculously Georgie felt the result.
‘He’s got a pulse,’ she said, hugely relieved.
‘Quick, help me get an IV line in as well just in case he’s haemorrhaging,’ responded Logan, totally focused on the elderly man.
Georgie efficiently inserted the IV line as the paramedics rushed to their side. Georgie updated them, outlining what she and Logan had done so far.
Logan stood while the paramedics hustled the injured man onto a stretcher and into the ambulance.
‘Go home, Georgie. Call a taxi for yourself. I’ll have to go with him to hospital. And I need you to be safe.’ He paused for a moment, cupping her chin in his hand. ‘Are you okay?’
Georgie nodded. But she wasn’t sure if she was. For a moment back there she’d thought Logan was going to run after the youths and her heart had stopped.
It was all more than she could bear.
The taxi driver looked at her strangely when he noted her blood-splattered clothes, but she didn’t have the energy to explain. Now it was all over, she felt washed out. Her hands were shaking. She leaned back in her seat. They had probably saved a man’s life. If it hadn’t been for them, the victim might not have been discovered until it was too late. A thrill ran though her. She got what attracted Logan to this kind of emergency medicine. It wouldn’t be for everyone. Too high-pressure for a start, but Georgie knew that in this way at least she was similar to Logan.
Then the memory of him facing up to the thugs came rushing back and with it a gut-wrenching nausea. They could so easily have turned on him and stabbed him too. Hadn’t he known that? But she knew with absolute certainty that even if he had, it wouldn’t have stopped him. Logan was the kind of man who would never let fear prevent him from doing what he thought was right. And if he lost his own life in the process? He would consider it part of the job. She shivered. Why had he come into her life? Why did it have to be him of all people she had fallen in love with? As she paid the driver and climbed out of the cab, she made up her mind. There was no future for her in this relationship. She just wasn’t up to it. She had to end it before she got in any deeper. The thought broke her heart all over again.
Logan phoned a couple of hours later to say that the man had been taken to ITU and was holding his own. The police had taken a statement from him and wanted to speak to her too, but he had persuaded them to wait until the morning.
‘You did great,’ he said approvingly.
‘I was scared witless.’
He laughed. ‘But you didn’t let your fear get in the way.’ Little did he know that she was going to do exactly that. ‘I’m sorry the evening didn’t turn out the way we planned. What about tomorrow night?’
‘I’m sorry. I can’t.’
‘Monday night, then?’
‘No. Look, Logan, we need to talk.’
There was a long silence on the other end of the phone. ‘Does that mean what it usually does?’ He sounded perplexed. As well he might be. After all, only hours earlier she had been in his bed and in his arms.
‘Can we talk about it later?’
‘Let’s talk about it now,’ he said firmly. ‘I’m on my way over.’
Before she could protest, he disconnected. Her heart beating uncomfortably, she put on some clothes and went to wait for him in the sitting room. When she heard his car pull up she slipped outside, not wanting to take the chance her mother would wake up and hear her.
‘Okay.’ He looked at her, his mouth set in a grim line. ‘Talk to me.’
‘I can’t do this,’ she said. ‘I’m sorry, I thought I could but I can’t. You could have been killed back there. You could be killed any time and I’m done with losing people I…’ Just in time she stopped herself from saying ‘love’. ‘People I care about.’
‘Agreed. We could all die at any time. Working in emergency medicine, you must know that. People get hurt driving their cars, walking their kids to school, in a million different ways. We hope it won’t happen to us and mostly it doesn’t.’
‘It’s different for you. Your job takes you into danger all the time.’
He laughed but there was no mirth in the sound. ‘I don’t know what you think I do, but when I’m on a tour, most of the time I’m working at the field hospital. It’s safe. Or as safe as almost anywhere in these times.’
‘Most of the time?’ she repeated.
‘Sometimes I accompany the men out on patrol,’ he admitted. ‘I’m a full-time army medic. It’s my job.’
‘That’s what I mean. You can’t tell me that there’s not a huge risk you’ll be killed. A much greater risk than for most people.’
‘Not huge.’ He drew a line down her jaw with one long finger. She resented the way her body reacted to his slightest touch. When he did that she couldn’t think clearly. When he touched her all she could think of was the here and now, not the future. But she had to think about the future. Even if she didn’t owe it to herself, she owed it to Jess.
She traced the scar on his face with a finger. ‘How did you get this?’ she said softly.
Logan was quiet for a while. ‘I was out on patrol with the platoon one day. We doctors take it in turn to go out with the men behind the front line, so when the shooting starts we’re right there.’
Georgie glanced up at him. His eyes were dark, unfathomable pools.
‘We were ambushed. Outside a village. There were several casualties. One of the injured men had fallen in the open. He was bleeding badly.’ His voice was quiet, almost matter-of-fact, but Georgie could hear the anguish behind his words.
‘I knew if we couldn’t get to him, he’d bleed to death. So three of the other soldiers and I made a dash for him. We managed to get him to safety, but not before…’ He rubbed his scar ruefully. ‘Not before I caught a bullet. Luckily, it only grazed me.’ He smiled. ‘Spoiled my looks, but that’s it.’
‘And the other so
ldiers? The injured man? Did they make it?’
‘Thankfully, yes. We were lucky that time. A Chinook was able to evacuate us all a short time later.’
Georgie guessed there was more to the story than Logan was telling her, but she didn’t press him. She wasn’t at all surprised he had risked his life—hadn’t everything she’d learned about this man told her that he would do so without the slightest hesitation? Although she hated the thought, his actions were what made him the man he was. And that was the trouble. She couldn’t see a future with that kind of man. No matter how much she wanted to.
Logan grasped her by the shoulders. ‘I think I’m in love with you. Damn it, I know I’m in love with you and it scares me to death. I didn’t think I would ever say those words. I love you, Georgie McArthur and I want you to be my wife.’ His voice was ragged.
Happiness blossomed as she heard the words. He loved her. But then her heart chilled. It was no use. She couldn’t say yes to a life that would destroy her and consequently him too.
‘I plan to live a long, long life and I want you in it. I want to grow old with you, have babies with you. The whole shooting match. Do you understand what I’m saying? I want us to spend the rest of our lives together.’
She shook her head, hating the fact she was about to hurt him. She had to ask—even if she strongly suspected she knew the answer.
‘Will you give up the army? Take a permanent job in a civilian hospital somewhere? It doesn’t have to be here. Anywhere in the world and I would go with you. Even if it means leaving my family. With your experience, you’d get a job wherever you wanted.’
The pain and regret in his eyes almost crushed her.
‘The army is my life, Georgie. It’s what I know. Who I am. Please don’t ask me to give it up.’
She reached out her hand and touched him gently on the face. ‘Then it’s no use. Can’t you see? I couldn’t live like that. Waiting in fear for a call that could come any time to tell me you’re dead. It would eat away at me and I would try and change you. Try and turn you from the man I love into someone else. You’d start to hate me for it.’
‘But you do love me?’
‘Yes.’ Her voice was small. Too much to ask him to change.
‘Then take a chance. Isn’t it better to risk everything than not live at all?’
‘I wish I were different. But I’m not. Can’t we just carry on the way we are? Be friends? Make the most of the time we have together before you have to go away again?’
This time it was Logan who shook his head. ‘Don’t you know by now that I’m an all-or-nothing man? Right now I want all of you. If you truly loved me, you would take a chance on us.’ As she made to protest, he stopped her words, laying a finger on her lips. ‘I thought you were braver than this, Georgie. I can see I was mistaken. The woman I want to spend the rest of my life with has to accept me the way I am. I can’t be any other way. You’re right. If I were forced to stop what I love doing, it would eat me up inside. Eventually it would kill the love between us as surely as any bullet.’
‘Then there’s nothing left to be said,’ she replied sadly. She turned to go back into the house, knowing that tears weren’t far away. If she broke down now, and he pulled her into his arms, she would never be able to let him go. And she loved him too much not to.
Logan returned to his flat. His bed was still rumpled where they had made love and Georgie’s perfume lingered everywhere. He surveyed his flat with a critical eye, seeing it through Georgie’s eyes. She was right. It was as impersonal as a hotel room. Living like this had never bothered him—until now. Georgie had given him a taste of what life could be like. A life where he had a family to come home to.
He crossed over to the window and gazed out onto the river. Shouldn’t he do what she asked? She was right about one thing. He could easily find a job in a civilian hospital, possibly even at the Glasgow City General; the powers that be had made it clear that they were happy with the way the service was going and had already earmarked funds to keep it going as a permanent service. Wouldn’t it be worth it to have what she was offering?
But leave the army? The men who needed him? However much he loved Georgie, couldn’t she see it wasn’t fair to ask that of him? The thing was, he wanted the woman he loved to love him back. Unconditionally. Without strings. No matter how tough life got. Someone who wouldn’t give up when the going got rough. Someone the complete opposite from his mother. He’d thought he’d found that woman in Georgie. And he’d been wrong. He should have listened to his gut instinct and kept well away from her when he’d had the chance. If he had, he would never have known how much he wanted the life he saw dangling tantalisingly in front of him. But she didn’t love him enough. It was time he accepted that.
CHAPTER TEN
THE next couple of weeks were painful for Georgie. Every time she saw Logan she would catch her breath. True to his word, he kept his distance. Oh, he was just as polite and friendly as always, but he didn’t ask her out again and he never indicated with a word or look that she meant anything to him. Even that they had been lovers. What else did she expect? She had told him there was no future for them. Not the way things were. And he had made it perfectly clear he couldn’t—wouldn’t—take anything less than her total acceptance of him and his life. And if her heart was breaking into tiny pieces, it was better that it happened now. Time would heal. Hadn’t she already learned that?
Whatever. It was better this way. She would get over him. He would move on and she would return to her predictable, happy, safe life.
No one seemed to notice the tension between them, which was a relief. The rescue service was going through a quiet spell. Georgie had gone out with Nick to a car accident, which had happily turned out to be less serious than had been reported. Sally and Nick had attended a rider who had fallen and had suspected head injuries, and Sally was clearly relishing her new role.
‘The rider’s doing well,’ she confided in Georgie. ‘If we hadn’t been there, if Nick hadn’t been able to keep her breathing till we got her to hospital, it might have been a different story.’
This was exactly the kind of emergency they had been trained to deal with and the new rescue service was already making an impact.
So much of an impact that other A and E departments were beginning to take notice. If theirs continued to do well, the Scottish executive that dealt with the funding of these extra national services had agreed to look at setting up similar services in Edinburgh and Aberdeen. In fact, Logan had been away for a week visiting the other units and had only returned that morning.
This time it was Lata who told them about the call. ‘Ambulance Control has just phoned in. There is a report of a multiple pileup on the A82 going towards Lochgilphead. They want to know if you want the ‘copter to pick you up. I assumed you do.’
Logan smiled. ‘You bet. What about you, Georgie? The helicopter can only take two of us. Nick and Lata would be better staying here to receive any casualties.’
Mouth suddenly dry, Georgie could only nod. It would be the first time they’d be alone together since the night at her house and she wondered if he’d say anything. Like what? I’m going to give up the army to be with you? He’d already made it clear that wasn’t going to happen.
‘Lata, how soon until the helicopter’s here?’ Logan asked.
‘They’re already on their way. They’ll be on the helipad in three minutes.’
Before Georgie realised it, she was fully suited and on her way to the helipad. The RAF helicopter had already touched down and was waiting with its rotors still whirling.
‘Copy what I do.’ Logan yelled to make himself heard above the noise. ‘But whatever you do, keep your head down.’
Georgie mimicked his crouching run, following close behind him. He jumped into the helicopter and pulled her in unceremoniously beside him. As the helicopter took off, Georgie fell against Logan. For the briefest of moments he held her in his arms, tightly against his chest. Then, as
soon as the helicopter straightened out he let her go.
The paramedic in the back held out headsets for both of them. Logan fastened one to his helmet and, taking Georgie’s, placed it securely on her head. As his fingers brushed her cheeks she felt a tingle zip through her right to her toes.
Her heart started beating wildly, and she tried to tell herself it was the usual adrenaline rush that accompanied emergencies.
‘There are three cars involved, as far as we know,’ a disembodied voice came through her earphones into her ears. ‘The fire service and one ambulance are already at the scene. Another is on its way from Glasgow, but I think we’ll get there long before it does.’
‘Roger that. What do we know about the condition of the casualties?’
‘Not too much. The driver of one of the cars is trapped at the moment, and the fire crew are attempting to cut him free. His status hasn’t been confirmed yet. There are at least four other casualties, including a child, but their condition is not yet known.’
By the time they arrived at the scene, the firemen and police had the road cordoned off and the helicopter was able to land nearby on the road.
‘We’re on.’ Logan grinned at her. ‘Stay close to me.’
They ran the few metres to the accident scene. Georgie sucked in a breath. Two of the cars were embedded in each other, the third a short distance away, its front wheels perilously close to a steep drop. The car that the fire service was working on looked so badly damaged it was difficult for Georgie to believe anyone could have survived.
The senior fire officer on the scene detached himself from his crew and strode towards Georgie and Logan, his expression grim.
‘We have one driver trapped by his legs. We’re going to have to cut him out. We’re worried that once we do, we might be left to deal with an uncontrollable bleed. He’s been drifting in and out of consciousness since we arrived.’ He pointed to the car near the cliff face. ‘There’s a mother and child in there. The mother is conscious, but can’t move. Not until we secure the car. The other car’s occupant has only minor injuries. But until we know what caused the accident we should keep an eye on him.’
